For a split second, right before opening the door, Lisa thought that her whole conversation with Alecia over the phone was pure nonsense. She must have been crazy to even think about involving her dear friend in such delusions.
However, everything changed once again a moment later. Right in front of her, half illuminated by the yellowish light coming from the hall and partially buried in the darkness of the evening, stood the man that she called Ethan Murphy, ready to take her out for dinner – just like they had agreed to do. The moment Lisa took in his appearance, her brain almost short-circuited.
There he was, all dressed up for the occasion. Looking majestic and, in all frankness, like sex on a stick. His usual black coat was open, and gone was the newsboy hat. Murphy wore a classic black suit plus a dark grey vest, a white shirt and a black tie. A simple yet elegant attire that hugged his solid body just right. Lisa caught her breath and felt relieved by the fact that she had chosen not to dress informally.
She had opted for a beautiful, stylish black off-the-shoulder midi dress that showed just the right amount of naked skin. The medium-weight stretch knit swooped across an off-the-shoulder neckline, with no-slip strips, into long bell sleeves. Her long hair was styled in a classic, elegant updo and, around her neck, she wore a black silk choker with a sapphire in the front. It was not accidental nor random. That was one of the many pieces of jewelry that Michael had gifted her with through the years.
If Murphy noticed it, he didn’t show it. However, he let out an appreciative, imperceptible whistle.
“Wow… You look… stunning.”
He cleared his throat and, in a purely automatic reflex, his hand came up and touched the perfect Windsor knot of his tie.
Lisa felt ravenous butterflies take off in her stomach and smiled.
“You don’t look too bad yourself.”
“Thank you. Took me a while to find something decent to wear. Are you ready to go?”
Once again his eyes seemed to explore her and, this time, they stopped on her choker a little longer than necessary. Duly noted…
Since she had been the one asking him out, Lisa had done her best to convince him that she should be the one driving and choosing the place. Despite her efforts, he had stubbornly refused, trying to justify his caveman attitude as merely “old-fashioned.” Eventually, she had relented.
“Sure… let me just take my coat and my purse, and then we can leave.”
Ethan stepped into the foyer and helped her put on her coat, then offered her his arm, like a real gentleman. They walked together towards his car, under a rumbling, thunderous sky. The air already smelled like rain.
“So, since you want to be in charge and all…” Lisa shielded her neck with the lapels of her coat and tried to protect herself from the chilly night. “Where are you taking me?”
“There’s this nice, little restaurant only fifteen minutes away from here… It’s a cozy place. Classy but not uptight. They play blues music.”
Lisa threw him a look, noticing how his curly hair was unusually slicked back, revealing his forehead. He had trimmed his beard slightly and neatly and looked – well, just the right kind of amazing. Lisa fought the urge to remove his glasses and take a good look at his eyes. She had a feeling they would reveal everything she needed to know.
“Do you like music?”
Her question was almost unconscious. Maybe she was following Alecia’s advice and starting the process of testing the waters with him. All of a sudden, that conversation over the phone didn’t sound so crazy anymore.
Murphy opened the car door for her.
“I like blues music.”
“That’s it?” Lisa climbed into the Jeep and tried to sound casual.
“That’s it. Careful…” He closed the door and walked around the car, to the driver’s seat.
The drive to the restaurant was comfortable and substantially quiet. If Murphy was nervous about their date, he didn’t show it. Lisa noticed that her neighbor didn’t share Michael’s horrible driving skills – quite the opposite, in fact. Murphy drove slowly, carefully, purposefully, his eyes never leaving the road. Lisa didn’t know if she was supposed to feel relieved or distraught at the realization.
At the restaurant, dimly lit and beautifully furnished with vintage pieces directly from the 1940s, she discovered that Ethan had booked the most secluded and private table in the dining room. From the tone the head waiter spoke to him, she also suspected that Murphy was quite a loyal customer. It wasn’t hard to imagine him have dinner alone in that small, quiet restaurant.
Her mind came back to the many dinners that she and Michael had shared at the Ivy. Almost out of her own volition, she found herself trying to overlap those nights to the one that was about to start. The feeling was uncanny, and something ancient stirred in her soul once again.
Being the usual, courteous gentleman that he was, Murphy pulled out the chair for her and helped her sit, then sat down across the table, unbuttoning his jacket in the process and smoothing down his tie distractedly. Their table was round and small. A single candle was lit on the centerpiece.
During dinner they talked about Lisa’s children, coming over for Christmas, about Lisa’s work, which would require her presence in the States in a couple of months, and about Murphy’s work, which didn’t require any physical presence at all.
“Unless, of course, there’s a new artist to discover…” Lisa observed.
Murphy played with the food on his plate and nodded.
“Yeah. But I’m not really into discovering new talents anymore. I’m more interested in being a proxy between private collectors and museums or established artists. As I said, I spent many years traveling worldwide and I ain’t getting any younger. I’ve started to enjoy the comfort of being in the same place most of the time. There’s nothing romantic in my work, really… I just buy and sell, sometimes I support organizations or art shows… but that’s pretty much it.”
“Don’t you miss the thrill of the live-action?” Lisa paid maximum attention to the choice of her words.
“Not really…” He sneered and shook his head slightly, staring at his food. “I’ve already got my fair share of live-action, believe me. What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Why is your presence at Graceland required?”
Lisa put the fork back on the plate and sighed, clasping her hands together under her chin.
“Because, even though I can virtually manage everything from here, sometimes I feel the need to go back home and see how things are going. Plus, Graceland holds a special place in my heart… and it’s always a great occasion to spend some time with my family and close friends.”
“Makes sense.”
“It does. Don’t you have a place that you like to go back to?” She looked straight at him, her bright blue eyes shining in the candlelight.
“My home,” he replied enigmatically.
Lisa made a face.
“The house by the cliff…” It was apparent from her tone that she thought he was shitting her.
“Yeah, well… That’s the only home I got.”
“Ethan…”
“Yes, Lisa…” He looked up at her.
She did her best to repress a grin.
“You’re on tenterhooks.”
“No, I’m not,” he chuckled, caught by surprise. His cheeks reddened, and she knew that he was embarrassed.
“Yes, you are.” Lisa laughed as well, releasing some of the tension risking to envelop them both. “I’m sorry, I just… Relax, please. This is not a job interview. I mean… it’s just small talk. And if you don’t wanna answer, it’s OK, really.”
“I know, and I’m sorry I am not that great at conversations. But I’m glad to be here. I just want you to know that I really am.”
“Me too. Besides, I like this place…” Lisa glanced around the dining room. “It’s quiet… romantic.”
“Yeah…” Murphy took the menu from the table and focused his attention on the wine list. “I’m happy you like it. I wasn’t entirely sure this would be the right choice.”
Lisa raised her eyebrows.
“Why not? Too sophisticated for me?”
“It’s not about that. I mean, you’re Elvis’ daughter, I’m sure you’re used to classy stuff. Part of me just thought that Burger King or McDonald’s would probably be more… appropriate for a… first date.”
Lisa laughed.
“Well, I’m glad you changed your mind, then. I hate that shit.”
“Me too. Saturated fat foods? Not healthy at all, and you know, nu-”
“…nutrition is important for you. Yes, I remember. You were very clear about that.” Lisa smiled as their eyes locked. “So… this is a date, uh?”
He looked lost in thought. For a moment, his gaze fell on her lips, then went back up to her eyes. A beautiful blues song title “Reconsider baby” was playing in the background.
“Well so long
Oh how I hate to see you go
Yes so long
Oh how I hate to see you go
Well the way that I will miss you
I guess you’ll never know…”
Lisa listened to the lyrics and smiled, her eyes remote.
“My father… he too recorded a version of this song, you know?”
Murphy placed the wine list back on the table and reached out in a completely unexpected move, gently covering Lisa’s hand with his own. Lisa closed her eyes, savoring the touch, skin on skin, so new and yet so familiar.
“We’ve been together so long
To have to separate this way
We’ve been together so long
To have to separate this way
Well I’m gonna let you go ahead on baby
But let you come back home some day…”
“Why did you invite me out for dinner, Lisa?”
His voice was soft. He let the words linger for a bit, then finally retrieved his hand and placed it in his lap. Lisa took a deep breath and suddenly realized that she was not interested in her food anymore. She had the feeling that he could somehow read her mind… and her intentions.
“I am not sure… I guess I just wanted to spend some quality time with you.”
His eyes narrowed imperceptibly.
“We spend quality time together every day.”
“Well… some more quality time with you, then. And I wanted to have the chance and get to know more about you.”
“Yeah, I can see that. I know you want to…”
His head moved in an imperceptible nod while the rest of his body completely still. Lisa perceived the almost invisible fight taking place inside of him, but decided not to push it.
“Why are you here, Ethan? Why did you agree to this?”
“Because I love…” He shuffled his feet under the table. “I, too, love spending time with you, Lisa.”
“You said you once had loved me
But now I guess you’ve changed your mind
You said you once had loved me
But now I guess you’ve changed your mind
Why don’t you reconsider baby
Give yourself just a little more time…”
The moment started to feel charged with some strange electricity.
“Do you want me to know more about you?”
The question was way more solemn than it sounded and implied so much more than it said. Ethan didn’t break eye contact, but Lisa could see that he was terrified. She did her best not to study his facial features too much and instead focused on his eyes, partly hidden behind the darkening lenses.
“I do. I mean, I’d love for you to know more about me. I’m just worried you wouldn’t like what you might find out.”
“Well… So far, so good. There’s nothing about you I hate. It’s a start, right? But there are things that I need to know…”
Her trying to make light of the matter didn’t work out that well. The conversation was turning serious and they both were very much aware of it.
“Why?”
He mouthed the question, more than asking it out loud and Lisa saw, for a short instant, a glimpse of panic on his face. It was apparent that a part of him just wanted to up and leave, yet his body stayed rooted in place as if he could not move. His eyes spoke volumes.
Why can’t it just be this way? Why can’t it just be simple? Why so many questions…
“Because there are things I feel and I need to know why I’m feeling them… I need to know if they are real or if I’m losing my mind… And only you can help me with that.”
Her heartbeat thundered in her ears.
“Okay… uhm…” He seemed to snap out of his stillness and shifted in his seat. “I understand. Look, if it is of any comfort, I know for a fact that feelings are always real. Our perception might be wrong… but our feelings are always real.”
The song faded in the background, and another one took its place.
Lisa opened her mouth to ask him, bluntly, if he was who he said he was, then decided that, regardless of the answer, being straightforward wasn’t probably the best tactic with this man.
“Do you dance?” She murmured instead.
This time, he threw his head back and laughed, wholeheartedly. Then stared at her, his smirk still visible.
“No, I don’t.”
“You don’t like dancing, or you just don’t know how to dance?”
“I just don’t dance.”
“Never?”
“Never.”
She stood up, rolling her eyes. Barely repressing a smirk.
“Come on. Let’s break the cycle. Dance with me.” She walked around the table and held out her hand to him. “Come on!”
“What?” Ethan seemed surprised and amused. “I just said -”
“I know what you said. But this is an amazing song, you like blues music and I want to dance. I think you can put your vote of abstinence on freeze for like ten minutes. How about that? Unless, of course, you want me to dance with someone else.”
He just stared at her, not really knowing what to say.
“You want me to ask that guy over there?” Lisa tipped her head to her right, but he didn’t even bother turning. “Hey, maybe he’ll be up to it.”
Instead, he pushed his chair back, his big hands resting on his thighs, still staring at her with an incredulous look in his eyes. He shook his head.
” I can’t believe you’re bullying me into dancing…”
She had to laugh.
“Bullying you? Are you serious? Come on, big man! What are you afraid of? Just try not to step on my toes and we’ll be fine, I promise.”
Still a bit hesitantly, he finally put his napkin on the table, stood up and took her hand, letting her guide him toward the small ballroom.
“If I ever leave you, baby
You can say I told you so
And if I ever hurt you
You know, I hurt myself as well
Is that any way for a man to carry on
Do you think I want my loved one gone
Said I love you
More than you’ll ever know
More than you’ll ever know…”
There was just a few couples dancing on the notes of “I love you more than you’ll ever know”, and Lisa and Ethan settled near the center stage, wrapped in the dim light of the room.
Lisa put her arms around his neck and felt his hands on her hips. His touch was soft, but confident and warm. Just like it had happened when he had scooped her up, she felt liquid heat expanding from her chest and to each one of her nerve endings.
A bit stiff and tense, but Murphy’s body started to sway slowly to the music in perfect stance. And God, was that the perfect music to swing to. Lisa felt proud of her flawless timing: if Murphy was indeed Michael, there was no way in the world he would not accept such a basic challenge, because Michael was a competitive son of a bitch. And if Murphy was just Murphy, he would simply be the shy blues lover holding a woman in his arms.
“Now listen to this
I’m not trying to be just any kind of man
No, I ain’t
I’m just trying to be somebody
You can love, trust and understand
I know, I know, I know that I can be
A part of you that no one else could see, yeah
But I gotta hear you say
I got to hear you say
It’s alright…”
Lost in the song’s lyrics, Lisa sighed and stepped forward, closing in on him, tightening her grip around his neck. Without even thinking, she rested her head on his shoulder. She felt his strong, regular heartbeat – going a little quicker than usual, perhaps – and its rhythm mesmerized her. His whole body stiffened for a second, then finally relaxed. His movements became smoother, more fluid and their bodies found their swing. Or resumed a rhythm they had interrupted many years earlier… Lisa wasn’t sure. Not yet…
She closed her eyes and inhaled his scent. Familiar. She decided not to think. She decided to just feel, with her heart, in her soul, what this man had to say with his silence. She sighed again when she felt his hands move from her hips to her back, wrapping her into an embrace. Her skin burned.
“I’m only flesh and blood
But I can be anything that you demand
I can be King of everything
Or just a tiny grain of sand
Now tell me…”
Her hand brushed his hair on the back of his head, her fingers tangled in the soft texture of his curls. Her eyes still closed, she let her other hand touch his skin, right above the collar of his shirt. She detected goosebumps under her fingertips and, against her ear, his heartbeat seemed to accelerate suddenly.
She looked up at him and wasn’t surprised to see him staring down at her, once again like a deer caught in the headlights.
She felt like soaring. Weightless. The entire room disappeared, and he was everything she saw.
“You…” She whispered. “…Who are you?”
“…Is that anyway for a man to carry on
Do you think that I want my loved one gone
I love you
More than you’ll ever know
I said I love you
I love you, I love you, hey
Don’t want nobody else but you”
He swallowed.
“Ethan…”
His usually controlled voice sounded a bit strained. It was the first time it happened. Lisa frowned and cocked her head to the side, undeterred. She knew she had to keep going – even though she had no idea why.
“No, I really wanna know… who you are…” Her tone was soft, gentle, but now her cerulean eyes were piercing.
He didn’t reply. He just shook his head imperceptibly, defeated, but couldn’t look away.
Her fingers spread like petals on the back of his head and she pulled him down, toward her. Close to her mouth.
Chapter song
