Act II – You can see me
Los Angeles, Neverland Ranch – the next day
“Why are you so hyper?”
And why was she still here? His little sister had the ability to overstay her welcome way too often. Even when he told her that he had things to do. Of course, even if he didn’t tell her anything, Janet would be perfectly capable of reading the room if only she wanted to. But this time, Michael wasn’t sure she would want to.
He just rolled his eyes and glanced at his watch again.
“I’m not.”
“Oh yes, you are. You look antsy and anxious. I’ve known you for my entire life, Mike. Your controlled persona might work with everyone else… but not me. You can stand still like a statue on that couch for as long as you like, but the vibes you’ve been sending are pretty clear.”
Janet laughed and he pursed his lips in return, glaring at her.
It wasn’t that he hadn’t been happy to see his mom and sisters. It was just that, as per usual when it came to his family, their timing was a bit off. He had arrived at the ranch just a couple of hours earlier and, in complete bewilderment, had found Mother, Rebbie, Toya and Janet waiting for him inside the main house. Just chilling in the living room as if they belonged there. Having tea and chatting. He had no idea how they had managed to sneak in without anybody from his staff spilling the beans. Maybe he should consider firing some of his people because, apparently, his order of not letting anybody in without his explicit permission didn’t apply to everyone.
However, his slight irritation had pretty much vanished when he had met his mother’s gentle eyes. As a matter of fact, his heart had melted and he had also realized why nobody had warned him about that impromptu visit. It was likely because Mother in person had called one of his people, and no one would ever say no to Katherine Jackson. Not even Michael’s team. Hell, not even Michael himself!
Still, the timing was curious, as he was technically still supposed to be in New York. Nobody but Lisa knew that he would be back at the ranch today.
…Well. Except for Rebbie. Rebbie likely did.
He knew that it was highly improbable that Lisa had called his sister to tell her anything about his whereabouts. What was very possible, however, was that his dearest older sister had managed to get back to Lisa and ask her if he was, indeed, still in New York. Michael was sure that Lisa wasn’t responsible for the women in his life appearing at his place so out – of the blue and all at the same time – but Rebbie very well might be.
All those thoughts had flashed into his mind at the speed of light. Yet, on the outside nothing had shown as he entered the mansion with his kids and greeted everyone.
He had hugged his mother and kissed her on the cheek.
“I wasn’t expecting you, but I am happy to see you, Mother.”
Katherine had pulled back but had kept holding onto his forearms.
“Don’t be silly. I know you don’t like surprises, Michael. But we haven’t seen you in at least a couple of months, and we just wanted to make sure you and the children are fine.”
“We’re alright. We’ve just been… around.”
She had tilted her head.
“Yes, I know. Well, I am glad you’re all finally back. And you, son, look like you need some rest.”
She had watched him with concerned eyes and he had just smiled tiredly in return. He knew that she liked it better when he had someone taking care of him, but he could do very well on his own. He was an adult – and a responsible one, at that. And plus, how was he supposed to rest if they were all there? He had probably just a few hours left for himself before Lisa would show up at the gates and he hadn’t planned to spend them with his family. He loved them all dearly, of course – but he had never been fond of surprises he was not in charge of.
Eventually, they all ended up spending a couple of hours together before Katherine finally told the girls that she was ready to drive back to Encino. And so everyone had left in a black minivan. Well, everyone but Janet, who had arrived at the ranch with her own muscle car and didn’t look like she planned on going back to her place anytime soon.
“Mike, you gotta talk to me. You seem somber. You look tired. Are you OK?”
She fired those words in her sweetest voice as she sat down on the carpeted floor and played with Prince and Paris. Lying down on the couch, turned onto his side to keep an eye on the kids, he just observed them for a moment.
“I had to leave New York slightly earlier than planned and I didn’t get much sleep last night, that’s all. I’m fine. Stop worrying.”
Right. He had been awake all night trying to figure out how to handle Lisa. Or himself, once she arrived.
“And how come?”
“That’s a stupid question, Janet. You know I never sleep much.”
Janet cocked her head to a side and stared at him sarcastically.
“How come you came home earlier, I mean… Stop being such a dick.”
“What’s with the grilling? It was just some stuff that came up unexpectedly, and so we flew back. Oh, and about that…” He sat up on the couch. “I really don’t wanna sound blunt or anything, but…”
“You want me to go, I know. Do you think you’re so unreadable to me? And make no mistakes, I will go…” She brushed a strand of hair out of Prince’s forehead. “…The moment you tell me what’s really going on.”
Michael rolled his eyes.
“Nothing is going on. I am supposed to get ready for a meeting later today, and I can’t stay here paying attention to you all afternoon.”
Janet laughed again.
“Oh, my. I can take care of myself, you know?” Sighing – and looking genuinely amused – she finally got up from the carpet and smoothed down her sweater pants. “But I get it, big bro. You’re probably going to have some female company coming over and you don’t want anyone to know. As if those pesky rumors haven’t been floating around anyway…”
Now, that remark slightly alarmed him. He, too, got up from the couch.
“I am not goi- …Wait. What rumors are you talking about?”
She casually shrugged her shoulders and grabbed her leather jacket from the love seat.
“Oh, nothing. Just that you got a few very… available girls on the sidelines, keeping you company on your lonely nights.”
He just stared at her with an unreadable expression on his face, and his sister smiled.
“Hey, listen. If you do, that is great and I’m all for it. I mean, have fun. I am not judging at all! In fact, I think it’s kinda cool that you’re finally moving on after what happened with Lisa last year…” She put on her jacket. “Even though, I gotta admit I hope it’s her that you gotta see later.”
“As a matter of fact, it is.”
He didn’t even know why he had fessed up. It wasn’t that Janet needed to know all this stuff about his personal life. If at some point they had been super-close, in the past year or so he had kind of pulled away from his sister as well. All was ebbs and flows, and sometimes he needed space even from those he loved the most. However, his little revelation caused her to smile broadly and clap her hands like a little girl.
“Are you shitting me, Mike? She’s coming over for real?”
“So it seems, yeah.” Unless she changed her mind and didn’t show up, of course. He didn’t want to have too many expectations just in case his ex-wife would blow them to smithereens. Like she had done before.
“Look – as far as I know, she was looking for you, and…”
“Oh yeah? And what do you know?”
“Not much, I swear. Just this. A couple of days ago, Rebbie asked me if you were in New York because Lisa wanted to talk to you and didn’t know where to find you. I didn’t understand why she wouldn’t just call you on your cell phone but, hey… you guys’ dynamics are weird as shit, so I didn’t even bother.”
“Please, do not curse in front of my kids.”
Janet put her hand over her mouth, her eyes widening. Laughing.
“Oops. Sorry. But anyway, I just connected the dots, that’s all.” She turned serious again. “I don’t know why she was looking for you – and Rebbie doesn’t either, otherwise she would have told me for sure. I am just glad you guys talked. You did talk, right?”
“Yeah, for a bit. She’s, uh… I don’t know what’s wrong with her, but she asked me if she could stay here at the ranch for a few days. And so I came back… ‘cause I wanted to be available. You know… just in case she needs me.”
“Are you kidding me? For a few days?!” Janet gasped.
“Well… That’s what she said.”
“When is she supposed to get here?”
“Janet..! Stop! I said today. I don’t know when. Later. In a little bit. I’m not sure about the exact time.”
“Say no more!” She began marching toward the door. “I’m going to leave right now. Just let me know if you two plan on getting back together, ‘cause that’d be neat.”
This time it was Michael’s turn to laugh, a bit dryly.
“We’re not getting back together.” He opened the door for her and they walked together toward her car. “Lisa and I can’t seem to… Look, it’s complicated. But at least we’re friends now.”
“Yeah… ‘cause that usually works well for you guys…” Janet hugged him tightly for a moment. “You got someone taking care of the kids? Since you gonna be busy and all.”
“Lisa being here won’t prevent me from taking care of my kids. And did you see those two nannies inside the house, pretending not to listen to us? Guess what. They’re paid to help me.”
“Perfect.” She pulled back and their eyes met. She stared at him intensely, as if she was trying to read his thoughts, and her face turned serious. “Mike… I hope this thing with Lisa goes well. Whatever it is. I miss seeing you two together. You guys are just… so perfectly imperfect.”
Yeah. He too missed Lisa. It was just very hard to admit it – even to himself at times.
Janet had been right. He was antsy and fidgety, and when his sister finally drove off he spent an hour or so playing with the kids and trying very hard to distract himself from pervasive thoughts. He didn’t even know why he was so tense. He had seen Lisa thousands of times, and this was nothing new. It wouldn’t be – it was nothing but a friendly visit.
But deep down, he was also well aware that finding himself face to face with the woman he would always have a soft spot for, for the first time in about a year, would be a different animal altogether. And he wasn’t sure how to handle it.
Well, he had to remember that, first and foremost, he needed to find out what was wrong with Lisa. He guessed it must be something big, because not even in his wildest dreams he would have imagined her asking him to stay at his place. For days! Like in the good old times, before they even got together.
Only, these weren’t the good old times. And their togetherness was long gone.
When the intercom finally rang and he was told that Lisa had just passed the gates and she was driving over to the main mansion, Michael swallowed hard and almost froze. For just a second. Then he went back to the living room and instructed the nannies to please take care of Prince and Paris for a bit.
He walked out of the house and didn’t simply wait for Lisa to arrive – but got in his golf car instead and sped off in her direction, feeling that it was the right thing to do. He had forgotten his hat and his sunglasses covered his eyes even in the orange light of the summer sunset. He couldn’t really pinpoint why he was in such a hurry, but it felt like a necessity. To see her as quickly as possible – to be with her. By her side. Like in the good old times, and despite everything being different.
He intercepted her car about five minutes later. He was going down the road at breakneck speed while she was slowly driving toward the main mansion, as if she needed maximum concentration to do something that was nothing but a daily habit.
Lisa pushed on the brakes first and her car slowed down, then finally stood there, motionless in the middle of the road, the engine still on. Out of the corner of his eye, Michael saw her sitting in the driver’s seat before abruptly stopping the golf car sideways and jumping off.
Her car window was up. He removed his sunglasses and saw her do the same. They stared at each other for a moment, but it wasn’t enough. He needed to not have any barriers in between. There was something off about her, and he had to close the gap and blend into her. He needed to see her. To feel her. And to comfort her, if necessary. That was what friends were for, right?
And he knew he hadn’t been a perfect friend to her in the past. Not since their divorce, at least. He had blurred the lines more than once because friendship wasn’t enough for him when he came to Lisa, but he also had never been able to be a safety net to her – someone she could always count on. Not all the time.
He had seduced her and had let her seduce him. On a few occasions, he had made her feel strung along despite her being far from an afterthought for him. He had also been jealous – and had acted as such. Being a jerk and all, icing her out at times without having the decency to tell her why. He had been all over the place, and maybe she had been too. There had been a lot of mixed signals. They had made so many mistakes. And they had also been so good to one another. Good enough to be irreplaceable in each other’s life. They could possibly move on and find other companions at some point, but he didn’t want his relationship with Lisa to be strained – regardless of the outcome.
He had to get back to that point of openness and honesty. Back to square one, letting go and forgiving whatever errors they had made in the past.
“Lisa! Turn off that darn engine!”
He raised his voice slightly to make himself heard despite the noise and, quite uncharacteristically given her stubborn attitude, she complied. Everything went quiet. A second later, he heard the wind whooshing, moving the leaves in the trees. The birds chirping. The air was clean and pure. All was perfect. Yet so immensely flawed.
He reached out, trying to open the driver’s door. It was locked.
“Come on. Open this thing. Get out of the car.”
Once again, she obeyed. It was super-odd – and so unlike her. Yes, in the past Lisa had loved his domineering tone and attitude and had been pretty acquiescent to it, but only if they were making love. Once again, this was different.
And yet there she was. Right in front of him – even more gorgeous than he remembered. Her hair was longer, lighter, wavier. Her eyes were bright – and puffy. Had she cried?
Lisa opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again.
“What’s going on, Lise? Tell me…”
She just shook her head and let out a sad smile.
“I don’t even know how to make sense of what I’m doing anymore.”
What did she mean by that? He couldn’t tell. Not on a rational level, at least. But his heart heard her words loud and clear. He felt her sadness and confusion – and that was enough.
Michael blinked. Reaching out, he took her hand – his skin vibrating when it made contact with hers. He gently pulled her close and then she was into his arms, clinging onto him, her face buried in his chest. He inhaled, recognizing the familiar scent of her hair, her skin. She was home to him. His eyes closed for a moment – until he felt her pull back. Still holding onto her waist, he didn’t let her go all the way.
He opened his eyes and found her looking up at him. The clouds seemed to have left her gaze. She smiled at him, and it was relief that he saw.
“Hi…”
He had to smile back at her. What else could he do?
“Hi.”
“I am so glad to be here.”
“Really? Why?”
It was a whisper and almost didn’t sound like a question.
“Because I feel safe. Despite everything, when you’re like this… when you’re open to me like this, I know I am safe. Nothing can hurt me.”
He pulled her close again and sighed when she hugged him. He had no idea what was going on, but it was OK. He would find out soon. Meanwhile, all that mattered was that she hadn’t stood him up. She was there.
He kissed the top of her head.
“Yeah. You’re safe now. And you can stay here as long as you want.”
Until she finally brought herself to sit behind the wheel, Lisa had been unsure about driving over to the ranch. Then, of course, she had told Michael she would – but she had also been half-drunk during their unexpected phone call. The morning after, the fact alone that she had called him – that she had left that message on his voice mail – seemed to make much less sense in her mind.
However, she knew he hadn’t been tipsy at all the previous night. He had been serious when he had told her yes, she could come over and stay. And so she had kept her word.
Who was she kidding? If eventually she had decided not to go, it wouldn’t have been because she didn’t want to see him, for sure. She knew she missed him so much, but she had only realized the magnitude of the emptiness he had left when he had appeared on the road while driving his golf cart like a maniac. And when he had calmly taken her into his arms, de facto giving her what she wouldn’t have been able to ask at that moment, her epiphany had only solidified. Being in his space, in his orbit, had been the right call.
Now, a couple of hours later, she still hadn’t been able to truly talk to him about the turmoil she felt inside, but her world seemed to be back on its axis somehow. They were sitting at the dinner table, having dinner with Michael’s kids, and everything felt peaceful and calm and serene. And utterly right.
Little Prince was in her arms. She didn’t know why, but she had been able to bond with that child since she had first met him. Little Paris, Lisa had seen less – but her affection for her was just as much. The little princess was of course in her father’s lap, but Lisa was glad to have Prince cling to her as if she were his mother. He was such a good kid, eating all his food without a fuss. Quiet, almost wise.
She looked up at met Michael’s eyes. She chuckled.
“What?”
He just shrugged and glanced down at Paris for a moment, making sure she was still chewing on her apple slice.
“Nothin’. You’re just very good at this.”
“Well, yeah. I raised two kids, you know.”
Michael smiled, a little sadly perhaps, and his eyes became remote for a moment.
“Of course. But I meant to say that Prince usually isn’t this good with his food. He always has a lot of stuff to say, even when he’s supposed to be eating. Right, little one?”
The infant stared at his father with huge eyes, then nonchalantly picked up another apple slice and put it in his mouth. Totally aloof. Lisa’s smile grew larger.
“Uh, I don’t know about that. But I can tell he has a lot in common with his daddy, that’s for sure.”
“Yeah? What do you mean?” Michael’s face was more unguarded this time, and some of the sadness seemed to have slipped away.
“That he’s picky with his food, just like you? Or that he can be sweet and gentle if he ever wants to? I don’t know, Mike… You guess.”
He laughed.
“I’m not picky.”
She cocked her head.
“Please! I about had to force you to eat when we were married.”
“Woman, I gained a lot of weight when we were married. And you never had to force me to do anything.”
This whole thing was amusing. A little jump back in time, when things were better.
“Your memory must be going. You didn’t gain weight. You just got super-buff.”
He chuckled, looking down at his own plate, still half-full.
“Yeah, must have been because of all the… ah, exercise you put me through.”
“Right…” Her voice got deeper, huskier. She cleared her throat. “Oh, before I forgot. I heard you got contacted by a family looking for help for their kid. Arbizos? Arvizas? Something like that.”
Michael snapped back into the moment and narrowed his eyes.
“Yeah. Something like that. How do you know?”
“Just rumors floating around. Apparently, they do that with everyone.”
“Well, if their child needs help, I bet they do.”
“No, it’s not that, Mike. They got it covered. Their insurance has been paying all the bills. Apparently, they got involved in some shady stuff in the past and they have this thing about celebrities. You know… trying to get in touch with them, possibly exploit them.”
“Are you for real?”
He hadn’t heard anything of that sort, but he knew how removed from the rest of the world he could be, despite his best effort.
“Yeah. Something went on with JC Penney, I think. That’s what I heard from several people. And when I found out that they’ve been trying to get in touch with you, well… I got worried…”
Michael stared at her for a moment and knew exactly why she was concerned. The pain she had seen him go through back in 1994 had been almost unbearable to her. She had always held firm and never left his side, but he still remembered how pained and upset she had been. The idea of losing him because of some fuckery he had been dragged into had devastated her.
“You don’t need to worry. I know they’re trying to get in touch with me, but I haven’t been busy. I didn’t reach out to them yet.”
Lisa let go a sigh of relief.
“Then don’t. Please. I know you always wanna help, but they’re shady. I also know you don’t like it when I tell you what to do, but…”
“I don’t think you’re telling me what to do…” His voice softened.
Why was she so bent out of shape about something he hadn’t even done yet? And why didn’t he feel she was butting into stuff that didn’t concern her? It was almost an epiphany to realize that what had miffed him at some point in the past didn’t bother him any longer. It almost felt like watching the world through different lenses and seeing – maybe for the first time – how much Lisa had always wanted to protect him from the evil in this world. And he now knew how much filth hid in the shadows, that was for sure. He had already paid the price once.
“I just want you to be safe, that’s all.”
“Well… how about I just get in touch with some organization that can help them without getting personally involved? If they’re not to be trusted…”
“They’re not. I don’t think it’s gossip. I got a bad feeling about what I heard.”
“…Fine. I won’t call them and I won’t meet them. But I do want that kid to get help if he needs it. I just won’t do it directly. OK?”
Lisa held her breath for a moment, just scanning his eyes. Then let it go.
“OK…”
Cool. He didn’t know why, but he felt relieved as well. Maybe it was nothing but his mirror neurons reacting to Lisa’s concern, but it didn’t matter that much. He certainly didn’t want to get involved with any questionable people. They would already manage to slip through the cracks despite his best intentions, and the last thing he needed was to be the one opening the door for them.
“Alright.” He wiped Paris’ face and kissed her on the cheek. “There you go, Paris. Good job! You’re all done here. Hey, Lise… these two gotta go to bed in a minute. Would you mind helping me out?”
“Sure, I’d be happy to.” She made sure Prince was done and then stood up, holding him in her arms. Loving how he kept clinging to her and rested his head on her shoulder. She could tell he was tired. “I think the flight kinda wore them out a bit. Come on, little man… Let’s go nighty night.”
And so they did.
Lisa followed Michael upstairs, to the room that had been set up for the children in the main house, where the nannies were waiting for them. She was sure they were glad they would have a little more time off today since she was there. But she also knew that any nanny would have quite the easy life with Michael. He was a perfect dad and never, ever neglected his children. He was absolutely wonderful.
She had been wrong. Nothing at all had happened, and even when they had indeed divorced, it had been emotionally painful but never vindictive, or nasty.
What she would have done to turn back time and start again, knowing what she knew now.
Sighing, she made sure that Prince was nice and comfortable, smoothed down his blanket and watched him fall asleep in his cute little bed. Then, glancing up, she took a moment to observe Michael whisper something to little Paris before he kissed her head and stroked her hair, waiting for her to fall asleep.
This could have been their reality, their family. Only, it wasn’t.
Lisa felt sadness, regret. A concoction of emotions that added to the list of the jumbled feelings that being around Michael entailed. Longing, love. Pain. Desire. That was what had held her back from seeing him for months.
It all felt like a deja-vu, because she knew she had felt that way before – years earlier, when she and Michael were just friends. Before anything really happened, changing her world forever. When she was still married to Danny but had found peace and solace at a newly-bought Neverland ranch for a while, trying to figure out why her marriage was crumbling.
She should have stayed there, with Michael. Where she belonged. She knew that now. Retrospect was a bitter luxury that, at times, she didn’t even enjoy.
“You ready to go?”
He had walked over and whispered the words into the dimly lit room. Only part of his face was illuminated by a slice of light coming from the corridor. He was handsome and looked tired. His features were maybe a little more angular than usual. Lisa struggled against the instinct of just reaching out and taking his hand. She needed his comfort.
Instead, she glanced at the cute clock on the wall. Winnie the Pooh was pointing his fluffy finger at a couple of minutes past ten PM.
“Yeah… Of course.”
She and Michael walked down the stairs, side by side, not uttering a word for long minutes. They were alone in the house – or maybe they weren’t, but the staff knew better than making themselves seen. Lisa realized that her presence was why Michael’s children would be sleeping in the main house, supervised by the nannies, and not in his private quarters with him. He was giving her his undiluted attention and time, and her heart squeezed in her chest. Was she still so important to him? As important as he was to her?
“How tired are you on a scale from zero to ten?”
“Zero, actually. But what about you? Aren’t you jet-lagged?” She stopped in the foyer and tilted her head, scanning his face. Noticing his evening stubble and tired eyes. “You look like you haven’t rested well in a while. Maybe we should go to sleep and talk again tomorrow?”
“Nah, I’m good. I’d love for us to talk some more before we say goodnight. What do you wanna do now? You want me to show you the bungalow I have set up for you?” He blushed ever so slightly. Inevitably, Lisa’s mind went back to when they had christened pretty much every single one of those tiny houses on the property. A time that was long gone.
“Maybe later. But I’d love to take a little walk outside with you.”
She glanced at the huge property spreading just outside the French doors. Maybe taking a breath of fresh air would help because, at the moment, her entire system was flooded by everything that Michael was to her. Memories. Expectations. Hopes – some of which had crashed and burned, but miraculously still vibrated deep inside her. Some things seemed to be immortal.
“This place is so beautiful and calm, especially at night. So peaceful.”
“Is that what you need, Lise? Peace?”
Her eyes closed for a second, and the hint of a smile graced her lips.
“Don’t we all?”
Michel’s eyes scanned her attentively. There was concern in them, but also a faint trace of amusement. As if he was wondering what made her tick.
“Of course. Would you like something to drink, too?”
Lisa’s smile grew bigger.
“Before or after our walk?”
“During. Let me grab a bottle. Red?”
“Sounds perfect.”
Old habits. Things they had done in the past were suddenly resurrected. It was weird, but also felt familiar. Comforting. Something she could slowly swing and slide into without fear of getting hurt. That was one of Michael’s many talents. To be able to read her as if she were an open book to him – and to do the thing, or the many little things that would make her feel better. One of the many reasons why it had been so easy to fall in love with him… and why she knew it would be almost impossible to stop. She understood so many things now.
And so they left the main house and began walking, progressively leaving the mansion behind, immersing themselves in the beauty of the ranch at night. The songs of the cicadas led the way. The light breeze coming from the hills guided them in the right direction.
It was a warm summer night – way warmer than usual. It was late June, but it almost felt like mid-July. If in the past Lisa had worn long sleeves or even one of Michael’s shirts for their night walks, tonight she felt more than comfortable just wearing her little summer dress.
As they kept walking side by side, Michael extracted a corkscrew from the back pocket of his pants and opened the wine. She had noticed that he hadn’t brought any glasses, and he took a sip directly from the bottle. Then he handed it over to her. She just shrugged her shoulders and drank some wine herself.
The French red he had chosen was perfect, just like everything else that night.
Well, almost. But she could pretend, maybe, just for a little bit. Perhaps she could put aside everything that was far from perfect in her life and focus on this moment, this place, this man. Wasn’t it all she needed?
“Are you finally gonna tell me why you’re here, Lise? I mean… it’s unexpected for sure.”
“In a bad way?”
“No, not at all.”
She knew she had just postponed her answer again. She also knew she had been avoiding the question for hours and had to admire his constraint. Michael could be a bulldozer: if he wanted to know something, he wouldn’t relent until he got all the necessary answers. Yet, tonight he was uncharacteristically tame. Guarded, maybe?
They had reached one of the pools and stopped there. They just stood near the still, clear water illuminated by some perimeter bulbs that made the atmosphere look even bluer.
“I needed to get away. I felt like suffocating.”
He cocked his head to a side and just kept watching her, with those dark, calm eyes that felt comforting and unsettling at the same time.
“You needed to get away from Hidden Hills?”
“It’s not really about the place, you know…”
“Well… I am a bit surprised. I thought things were finally going good for you. The last time we spoke, you sounded fine. You seemed to be moving on…”
“Moving on from what?”
He sighed and shook his head ever so slightly. His face, up until that point almost unreadable, now gave away a hint of melancholy.
“I don’t know… Me. Us…”
If only it was so simple. Lisa couldn’t answer that. She didn’t have the words to verbalize the turmoil she had been feeling inside for the past weeks. Months, maybe. And certainly she didn’t have the words to express how she felt now, just being near him. So close to him again. Under his spell… altogether.
“Does your boyfriend know you’re here? With me?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t have any boyfriend.”
Michael blinked and frowned. Was she fucking with him or what?
“You were seeing someone. That’s what you told me a couple of months ago. What’s his name again?”
“You mean Luke?”
“Right. Luke.”
“Oh. I broke up with him.”
His eyebrows sprung up ever so slightly. The imperceptible glee of still being able to surprise him wasn’t lost on her. She felt it clearly.
“Wow. That’s… kinda random, I guess. Why did you do it? You seemed happy…”
“Did I?”
“Well, you told me you were.”
Lisa scoffed.
“Sometimes it’s easier that way. To pretend and say that everything’s OK, I mean. But it can only go so far. Then, at one point, it just tailspins and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“And you think being here will fix that?”
Now, that was a million-dollar question. No. Yes. She didn’t know. Not yet.
All so simple. So damn complicated.
She took the bottle from his hand and took a long sip, then rested it on the concrete floor. Turning her head, she stared at the water for a moment. And then – without any real volition whatsoever – she took off her shoes and jumped in.