“Language wasn’t always useful between Michael and me. The way we moved against each other said enough – the way we trembled, our breathing mingling, our bodies fitting together like two pieces of an intricate puzzle we hadn’t even known we were missing. I loved the kind of silence that fell on us afterwards, lulling us both to sleep like it was the most normal thing in the world.”
“By the tenth day, silence had a shape. It clung to the Hideout’s rooms like a smell – flat, stale, bitter. Phones rang all day, managers, lawyers, promoters, but never the one call I truly wanted. Her line was the only one that stayed empty, a tunnel I kept shouting into with no echo back.”
“Everything in my body pivoted from heat to readiness, although peeling myself from her was not an easy task, given all I wanted to do was pick her up, carry her to her bedroom and show her that there was another way we could be close, if she so wanted. I summoned the will to put a hand to her shoulder, gentling us both back to ground.”
“Bill took the alley and killed the headlights a half block early. The Sedan coasted the rest of the way, engine low, like we were trying not to wake the street. We idled beside the service entrance where the trash cans formed a crooked fence and the light above the door buzzed like a tired insect.”
“It took me three days to gather the nerve to go talk to my mother. Three days spent at my Hideout pacing, telling myself the conversation could wait, rehearsing ways to keep it tidy and controlled. But the truth pressed harder the longer I kept it sealed, until I understood I had to let it out or choke on it.”