Flames and Ashes

First Act (The Setup)

“What’s meant to be will always find a way.”

Las Vegas, February 1994

Lisa

Staring at her reflection in the mirror, she couldn’t help but notice that she did look different compared to her everyday life, tonight. The reason was simple: she was all dolled up for him – even though she knew very well that she would stay backstage. Even though the press wouldn’t take any pictures, probably there would still be people wondering why in the world she was there with an entire family that wasn’t even her own. After all, despite being Michael’s date for the event, nobody was supposed to know about Lisa’s presence in Vegas.

Not that she gave a damn.

There were just so many things that people didn’t know. Or the press, for that matter. The paps were so absorbed by those absurd allegations that they wouldn’t be able to see what was right in front of their nose even if it slapped them in the face. Or maybe they did see it, but just couldn’t care less because she and Michael, together, spun the narrative in a direction where it was not supposed to go.

It didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was that he finally felt better after so many months consuming himself in sheer pain. He felt at peace because he had nothing to hide, and even when she was the one who couldn’t sleep at night, filled as she was with anger and worry, Michael would always do his best to make her feel better.

Which was something that made her scoff inwardly.

She was his rock, yes, and he would never fail to remind her, but he too did something for her that she had never experienced before. He made her feel in a way that she hadn’t even known existed until she had met him.

Now, given the fact that she and Michael had been dating for about a year at this point, it was surprising how that feeling hadn’t vanished. Not yet at least. That feeling of novelty, of absolute wonder. The entire world seemed new and unexplored when she was by his side, when she could see things through his eyes.

And then there was the physical attraction… which was out of this world. She had thought that that too would die down with time but boy, had she been wrong. If anything, she and Michael seemed to have gotten worse in that department, and they had become even more daring and brazen as their relationship progressed. What at first had been nothing but an affair – torrid and forbidden, yes, but also devoid of any particular expectations – had quickly turned into something that only had one word to be defined.

That word was love.

One night, months earlier, Lisa had caught him staring at her after making love. She had been able to feel his gaze on her even with her eyes closed. She had opened her eyes slowly and there he was, with that beautiful face of his. If only he knew how handsome he looked without any makeup on, his hair a mess, his cheeks unshaven.

“What…”

“Mh?”

“Why are you staring at me?”

She knew that, at that point of the night, her voice no longer sounded like it usually did. It was much hoarser, huskier. It was because of what she called ‘the Michael effect’.

“No reason…”

Reaching out, she had touched his face, his chin, where his stubble had already broken through. She had raked her fingers through his hair.

“I wanna know what’s going on in your head… I can see the wheels turning. You seem to be thinking all the time, Michael.”

Michael had smiled, and it was like seeing the sun rising and chasing away the darkness.

“Nothing special… Just that life is so different since I’ve found you.”

Nothing special?

Lisa had swallowed and blinked. She had felt tears threatening to spill and had fought them back into the silence of her soul, where they belonged. She would not allow him to see her weakness. Not as long as he needed her to be strong.

Right then and there, she couldn’t just bring herself to tell him that her entire world had changed since he had become part of it. She had just realized it herself, and it was both disconcerting and exhilarating. And also, she had never felt like she truly belonged anywhere before he entered her life. That uncanny sensation of being the right person at the right place, at the right time.

And yet looking back at the relatively recent past, she had to admit that she had put on one hell of a fight not to fall in love with this man. After all, she was still married to another guy. She had just recently become a mother for the second time. It didn’t matter that she and Danny just did not function as a couple: she was supposed to stay where she was. That was the rule and that was what was expected from her. But when she had found Michael, and Michael had found her, being rooted to the ground had become progressively more challenging.

Now, with the luxury of retrospect, she knew. What was meant to be would always find a way.

Lisa had quickly understood that Michael was like no other man she had ever encountered in her life. It occurred to her that everyone – including herself – was used to perceive people at a certain level in terms of wisdom, awareness, ability to feel the world and navigate through it. Well, Michael wasn’t at that level. He was way above anything and anyone she had ever imagined or met. It didn’t make him perfect, no, because nobody was. But it sure made him extraordinary.

He was a man who could be one, many and countless men in just one body. A guy who would see the infinite in each detail, who had the ability to marvel at the smallest and most trivial things. Childlike, but not childish. A young and yet ancient soul expressed through eyes that would just see beyond the boundaries of what the world was supposed to be.

At this point in time, she knew that regardless of the outcome of this relationship, she would never be the same again. Falling in love with him, having him fall in love with her, had already changed her forever.

Blinking, she took a good look at herself in the mirror once again. She had changed so much in the past year or so. There was a more solemn, wiser look in her eyes. Almost out of her own volition, her hand came up and touched the strands of pearls around her neck. Michael sure loved her in jewelry, even when she wore nothing else.

Then she felt him, even before he appeared in her field of vision.

He came to stand behind her back and smiled at her through the mirror. His hands rested on her shoulders in a gentle, loving gesture.

“You ready?”

“Yes.”

They stared at each other and she wished she could just turn and hug him, hold onto him before they left the hotel room where they had been holed in for hours. At the same time, she loved this feeling of almost observing him – and herself – from an external, quasi-objective point of view. For a moment, it almost felt like an extra-corporeal experience. She was in her own body, and yet, in a way, she had left those physical confines and was staring at this black God through new eyes. This artist that her mother feared and despised because of some unresolved issues that had nothing to do with him. This man Lisa was cheating on her husband with.

Without breaking eye-contact, Michael kissed her neck. His lips lingered there for a little longer than necessary and Lisa felt the familiar warmth spreading from the spot on her skin he touched down to every single one of her nerve endings. She couldn’t believe it. This was absolutely nuts. Since their arrival in Vegas, the night before, she and Michael had never left their suite. She had lost count of how many times they had made love, because time never mattered when they were close like that. Theoretically speaking, they were both supposed to be sated and spent now that they had to leave and drive over to the other hotel – the MGM, for that Family Honors TV special. But nope. If she had had the chance to stop the clock right then and there, she would have done it. Just to have some more time to spend alone with him.

As usual, Michael seemed to guess her thoughts.

“I wonder what your mom would say if she saw us now…”

Lisa laughed, throwing her head back. Exposing her neck to his kisses, craving the contact.

“Yeah. I wonder what she would think if she knew of all the dirty, lurid things you do to me…” Reaching back, she caressed his arm. “She isn’t sold at all on that naïve image you like to project, you know…”

He smiled against her skin and his arms circled her waist, pulling her whole body against him. Making her feel the effect that their little private moment was having on him. If they were supposed to leave in five minutes, this wasn’t helping at all.

Turning her head finally, Lisa kissed him. Her fingers stroking his hair as her back warmed up just because of that intimate contact. There was passion in their kiss, but also incredible gentleness. With absolute certainty, she felt that this man trusted her. Her eyes still closed, she held onto him as their tongues met. His breathing was calm and even, his heartbeat strong and regular. It was as if some sort of new serenity had spread through him, which was bizarre, given how challenging the past few months had been.

Lisa’s camp hadn’t helped either. Priscilla had been especially cruel to Michael, despite not showing any overt aggression. But Lisa knew her mother and, on the only occasion when the three of them had met, hadn’t been able to ignore that feeling of aversion.

Priscilla didn’t like Michael one bit, and she had done very little to hide her disdain. Her hostility was more than clear. It hadn’t mattered how sweet and polite and thoughtful he had been with her – she had treated him coldly, with an entitlement that had left Lisa nauseated. That had made her seethe with rage. How dared she? He was the kindest man she had ever met. He was a genuinely good guy. He wasn’t supposed to be looked at as if he was some kind of… parvenu or something. He didn’t deserve that treatment at all.

Afterward, when she and Michael had finally left, she had noticed how hurt he was. His mood was somber and quiet, and in the car he had barely spoken. It had broken her heart. She knew that, deep down, he had been convinced that he would be able to win Priscilla over, but now it was pretty clear that it was a lost battle. Another one in a battlefield full of stinky manure, crowded with way too many characters that should never have gotten close to him to begin with. Obviously, the criminal dentist who thought he could use his son as a bargaining chip to get money from Michael was the first of the list. He had unleashed hell on the man Lisa loved, and she felt powerless. Too small, while all she would have wanted was to propel that Chandler guy – and whoever else was on board with his plan – out of the fucking planet. Forever.

Michael broke the kiss – and her unintentional musings in the process.

“Lise… are you OK?”

“Yeah… why?”

“I don’t know…” Tilting his head, he scanned her face. “It felt as if you were miles away…”

She gave him the most reassuring smile she could muster.

“I’m here. With you.” Licking her lips, she stepped closer and into his arms. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He kissed the top of her head.

“Good. I need you here with me, baby girl. And I wish we could stay right where we are for a million years… I wish we didn’t have to leave at all.”

“But we do…” Her voice was feeble, her eyes closed. She buried her face in his chest, reveling in his scent. “We gotta go.”

It was hard to ignore how, as soft as his embrace was, another part of him was anything but and clearly not intentioned to have her step out of the door.

“Yeah… I know.”

He held her tighter, leaving a lot of words unspoken. Lisa didn’t know what they were, but she was sure they were there somewhere, in that place inside of Michael that sometimes she couldn’t reach.

Michael

He had to bite the soft flesh inside his cheek hard, almost to the point of wincing, not to moan out loud. Because having his back against the door of his suite while his security detail stood right outside that same door risked to make what he and Lisa were doing more than evident.

Well, Michael knew that pretty much everyone in his entourage was aware of what was going on with Miss Presley, since he and Lisa were only seldom discreet when the paps weren’t around. They would kiss and make out in cars and airplanes, in corners backstage, during private parties or at his ranch – or her property. They just couldn’t help it.

However, this was too much even for their standards, which were pretty daring anyway. Looking down at Lisa, Michael blinked and sighed, then raked his fingers through her hair, destroying the perfect hairdo she had donned for a public event where she hadn’t even been able to sit in the audience, let alone next to him.

As they drove back to the hotel, she had told him that she had been waiting to do that for the entire night.

“Do what?”

She had given him one of those loopy smirks he had discovered he lived for. He was in love.

“You’ll see…”

Now he was seeing alright. And he adored the fact that she still wore that beautiful black dress. And those pearls…

He had missed her while he was onstage or sitting in the audience. He had wanted to feel her warm hand in his, her comforting presence by his side. He had wished he could just lay his eyes on her because he knew that everything felt much better when he did that. More balanced and at peace. Of course, he knew that she was watching him, but not having the chance of looking back at her was not something he had enjoyed. Especially because it was obvious that she had dressed up for him, not a detail out of place, as if they were going to go out in public and she wanted to appear perfect.

But theirs hadn’t been a public appearance at all. That hadn’t happened yet and it had been their decision. For pretty much everyone outside of their personal worlds, their relationship was still a secret. As painful as it was not to scream it from the rooftops, such a scenario had its benefits in a way. Michael wasn’t fond of being chased around by paparazzi and knew even too well that, once what was going on would become public, Lisa would become a target as well. He hated the idea of her being a prey of the same individuals that had been trying so hard to ruin his life, and had trouble dealing with the fact that he wouldn’t be able to protect her. He’d rather prefer to have everything under control and so far, he had managed to reach a point where he could enjoy his love story without any intrusion from the outside world.

It wouldn’t last much longer.

And besides… well, for starters, Lisa was married to another man. She and Danny had been separated for quite some time at that point, but the reality remained the same. Despite his best intentions of not indulging in any torrid affair with any married woman, to respect the sanctity of her marriage, Michael had been unable to let go of Lisa and simply accept the fact that, technically speaking, she wasn’t available. When he had first met her again as an adult, at John’s wedding, maybe he could have had a chance with her, since she wasn’t taken yet. But back then he also had way too much on his plate to make room for any serious relationship. A recently released album, a movie in the making and a two-year-long world tour… just to mention a few. And then, when he had finally come back home, she was plastered on the cover of the magazines, in her wedding dress. She had married Keough, and Michael had thought that maybe it wasn’t fate after all.

He had been wrong.

Slowly and progressively, he and Lisa had gotten in touch again. They had become friends and then gradually more intimate. Before he knew what was what, he was already falling for her. And she, for him. She and Danny had become estranged and Michael had seen the opportunity pretty much present itself on a silver platter. He had forged ahead, no holds barred, and had thrown away some of those inviolable principles he always had firmly believed in.

When he and Lisa had made love for the first time, he had thought he would feel ashamed and sorry afterward, but it hadn’t happened. He had stared at her, lying on her back, naked in the sheets. So beautiful that he had felt like crying.

“Had you ever done anything like this… you know, before?”

Lisa had stayed perfectly still and those water-like eyes of hers had studied him. Her hair was tousled and she looked serene.

“Are you asking me if I ever cheated on Danny before tonight?”

Michael hadn’t been able to hold her gaze and had just looked down at the crumpled bedsheets. He had blushed, realizing how out of place his question sounded. The implications of it and all. But then she had reached out, taking his hand, and he had glanced up again, finding her eyes.

“Don’t do that, Mike. I won’t get mad because you asked.”

“I didn’t want to imply anything… I was just curious.”

“I know… It’s OK.”

They had stayed quiet for a long time.

“No… I’ve never done it before. Not once. In fact, I never ever thought about doing it…” She had squeezed his fingers. God, her hand was so tiny compared to his. “…Not until meeting you.”

Back then, they hadn’t even said those magical words yet, but Michael had felt them. They were like static in the air, suspended. It was like waiting for the rain after a long summer day. You could smell it and you could almost see it the clouds. It was just a matter of time.

Blinking, he came back to his senses and traced Lisa’s cheek with his fingertips. She was still kneeling down in front of him. One hand on his pants, the other holding onto his belt. As if she was waiting for him to do something, or say something.

“I love you…”

She smiled, and the relief he felt was hard to describe.

“I love you too…” She pushed him back against the door once again. “Stay there, baby… Stay right where you are… And don’t look away… Stay here with me…”

“I am here…”

Biting her lip, her eyes still in his, she began messing with his belt, his zipper. The button of his pants. Part of him wanted to help her out, but they were still exploring new territories when it came to sex… And he was afraid that, if he unleashed the panther, he would never be able to hold it back again. However, he relaxed against the cold surface of the door. The feeling managed to comfort him even through the clothes, despite his skin feeling as if it was going up in flames.

And so he watched, just like she had asked. He watched her as she freed him and caressed him, stroked him with the motions and pressure she had learned would make him lose his mind. Her hands and lips were already pushing him to the verge of the precipice, but it was her eyes that were his undoing. Her eyes staying on him when she began kissing him, when she took him into her mouth. He repressed a moan and had to take a deep breath when her hand reached around and back, holding onto his ass, pulling him closer to her still.

Let go… You can trust her…

That internal voice did nothing to repel what his instinct was telling him to do. And so he did it.

He touched her head again, just stroking her hair at first and then gently guiding her movements on himself. Lisa’s eyes were still locked to his and something changed in them. Their hue seemed to become darker, her eyelids lowered slowly in absolute pleasure and she did that little purr that would always send shock waves from his groin to every nerve ending. Michael’s head fell back against the door and he sighed as Lisa’s motions became more purposeful. Not quicker, just more driven. She seemed to love what he was doing, the liberties he was taking with her, and God… he loved it too.

When he finally was able to look down at her again, her hand had disappeared between her legs. She was touching herself, and the sight of it almost made him come right then and there.

He had engaged in sexual relationships with other women before Lisa, of course. However, all was different with her, and not only because of the depth of the mutual attachment they felt for one another. Since they had started dating, their chemistry in bed had also morphed and evolved, their inhibitions when they were together had lowered, and she had done something to him that no other girl had ever done before. She had made him trust her with his body and every fiber of his being. With her, Michael had progressively realized that he could be entirely at ease. He didn’t need to be shy and didn’t need to hold back. He had found out that sex, in all its expressions – from sweet and tender petting to rough and torrid fucking – was nothing but pure pleasure and the ultimate expression of the bond that shackled he and Lisa together. It was an intense and undiluted display of the love they felt for each other.

Of course, Lisa being a daring, uninhibited lover had played its part in his change. She had been able to lower his defenses and Michael had soon discovered how far his explorations could go.

When at one point, months earlier, she had told him that there was pretty much nothing she wouldn’t do for him or that she wouldn’t let him do to her, it really had been the ultimate seduction. Because despite all his self-preservation mechanisms, it was just the same for him. Mutual trust was just that irresistible.

At this point in time, Michael knew that he was still exploring. But most of all, he knew that he wouldn’t stop doing it anytime soon.

She let go of him for a moment, almost startling him, and he immediately bent over, capturing her lips and kissing her deeply. He traced her arm and reached down, covering her hand – still hidden between her legs. Just feeling her movements on herself. His head began to buzz.

“Baby… You’re gonna kill me like that…”

The words were nothing but a whisper against her lips, between kisses. He loved to have her fingers entangled in his hair. Loved to have her all over him. Loved the way she made him feel. Loved her…

“Well, we certainly don’t want that, do we…” She kissed him again and her hand moved from his hair to the center of his chest – palm flat. She pushed him back gently. “Stand back up, baby… and relax… Let me make it better for you…”

He complied. Her confident demeanor and voice alone were so seductive, so addictive. That husky, smoky tone, those sultry eyes. It was so easy to get entangled in that, to lose himself in that. Resting his back against the door once again, her gently touched her face with his fingertips. She captured his hand, kissed his knuckles, then gently bit and sucked on his fingers.

“Holy shit…” He swallowed and his eyes found hers. “Come on… Take it, baby…”

At times it was still hard for him to be so bold. He had been so shy in the past. And even though with Lisa it was way easier to loosen up, part of him still felt conflicted. It was like a duality, that inner thing he had been fighting with. Together, he and Lisa had been learning what they liked and what they wanted from one another from an emotional and sexual point of view. They were perfectly complimentary – and they completed each other. However, that delicate balance also involved Michael accepting a part of himself that was far from stoic and detached from carnal pleasure, like he loved to portray himself to be. His sexual pull and desire were sky-high and he didn’t have to hide it any longer, but in order to truly let himself go, he had to accept that this was what he wanted. This is who he was too. And with Lisa, it was progressively becoming as natural as breathing.

After all, he had been sleeping with her, a married woman, for over a year. At one point in time, that alone was something that he would have considered an unforgivable sin. But not anymore. Not really, at least – because he could tell that he and this girl were meant to be.

However, at first he sure had tried to do his best to fight off the attraction he felt for her, that sexual craziness that rendered him insane with desire and almost unable to function when she was around. It was one thing to engage in mindless flings, but this was serious. He wanted her because she was sexy and attractive and beautiful, but also because he was in love with her heart. And Lisa too had tried to back off for quite some time. Until it had become impossible… for both.

“Mike?”

“Yeah…”

“What’s going on? You look like you’re miles away…”

Her voice dragged him out of his own mind and their eyes locked again. This felt like a deja-vu. Wasn’t that the same thing he had asked her at one point, earlier that evening?

He had no answer to that right now. She was so gorgeous just kneeling there, one hand resting on his thigh, the other holding him firmly. The sight of it all felt so right and so pure and sacred that he realized he had been holding his breath. Was this the kind of love he had been waiting for, for his entire life?

Yes. Yes, it was.

“No… I’m here, baby. I’m right here, with you.”

Lisa smiled, and Michael felt as if a weight had been lifted from his chest. If only she knew what was peeping through the fog of his mind. Through that haze that only she was able to provoke.

“Good… Then stay with me, don’t look away. I want you to see what you do to me…”

“Well… Actually, this is more about what you do to me, Lise…”

Another smile. A tiny, crooked, sexy one this time. Enough to make him harder and render his heart very soft at the same time. He was such in deep shit with this girl.

“Not really.” She kissed his pelvis as her warm hand stroked him slowly, about making him lose his mind. “You really think I would do this to any other man but you? You think I’d get on my knees and unzip any man’s pants like this? And get ready to do what I’m gonna do to you? What I couldn’t wait to do to you?”

Michael grinned, even though the mere mental image made his blood boil. But he couldn’t have Lisa see that side of him. The jealous side that wanted her all for himself, and that couldn’t wait for her to finally divorce Danny, despite knowing that they had already broken up.

“God, I hope not…”

Lisa shook her head.

“No way. Just you, baby. Only you.”

He turned serious and bit his lip.

“Then… do what I say. Take it, baby girl. Take it all.”

Her eyes sparkled, making him aware of the effect that tone had on her, and she opened her mouth. The moment she did obey, the moment she sent him to that paradise that being with her entailed, his eyes closed for a moment. He was glad to have the solid surface of the door steadying him, because his knees almost threatened to give in. It didn’t matter how many other women had done that same thing to him in the past – it had never felt like this before. This feeling of leaving his own body and becoming one with her.

She kept loving him that way and it became harder and harder for Michael to stay quiet, especially because she didn’t seem to mind about his security detail standing right outside the suite. She was still touching herself while sucking him and the whole experience was heaven manifested.

And then he saw her. He saw how her body began to tremble. How her brow furrowed and her eyes glazed over. He heard her muffled sounds reverberating from her vocal cords to his groin and then up to his brain. He felt her movements increase and become more intense. She was climaxing and Michael felt as if an electric shock was running through him. She was dragging him along with her.

“Lise… Fucking hell…”

He winced and straightened up, ready to withdraw from her, but she did something that she had never done before. She reached around with both hands and held onto his ass, effectively preventing him from leaving her mouth. His face went up in flames.

“Fuck… God damn it…”

Michael gritted his teeth, his arousal so high that he began to see spots of lights in front of his eyes. This was beyond hot. This was Lisa showing him that there was nothing about him that she didn’t love or want.

Even years later, he still marveled at how in the world he had managed to stay quiet as he came. As he allowed her to take everything from him. As he realized that he loved her more than life and wanted her always with him.

His orgasm was so intense that, immediately after, he sank down onto his knees, finding himself face to face with her. Seeing her beautiful eyes again. She did look like a cat that had just eaten a mouse and he smiled.

“Girl… You’re crazy…”

He was breathless.

“For you, mister? Absolutely.” Despite the obviously sexy tone, she touched his face with immense gentleness and the look on her face softened. “And you taste so good, baby. There’s nothing I don’t love about you.”

Michael’s eyes misted over and he reached out, grabbing her by the back of her head, pulling her into an all-consuming kiss. This was what communion meant. This was what being one with another person signified.

“Lise…” He kissed her again, realizing that, despite having climaxed so violently, he still hadn’t gone soft. Magic… “You really don’t know what you do to me…”

Her hand reached down and touched him again. More electric shocks.

“Well… Tonight, I might have an inkling…. Babe… you’re so darn hard again.”

Michael kissed her once more time.

“Lie down… Your turn…”

“You wanna do it right here? I thought you wanted to go to bed…”

He smiled. An open, carefree smile. Didn’t she know? It was too late to even lose another minute.

“Maybe later. Lie down. And open your legs.”

Sitting back on his calves, he watched her as she obliged, her eyes never leaving him. She lay down on the plush carpet in the foyer, half of her body still in the darkness, the other half illuminated by the reddish light coming from the living area. Slowly, she lifted her dress up her thighs and her stockings became visible. He loved how she had kept her heels on, as well. And those pearls which he had given to her. She seemed to love them just as much as he did, and even more so in such exceptional circumstances…

Resting his hands on her knees at first, Michael allowed himself to experience the pleasure of running his fingers up and down her legs, loving the silky feeling against his skin, loving how Lisa’s muscles contracted under his touch. He wanted her – all of her. Hooking her skimpy thong, he slowly began to let it slide down, then removed it.

“Michael… please…”

Yeah. He knew the feeling. He too felt the urgency, but also wanted this moment to last. He wanted to experience every single thing with the highest level of precision and intensity, so that it could last him forever.

The moment his mouth touched her center she arched up and moaned out loud. There was no way that the security detail outside the door hadn’t heard her, but at this point Michael had stopped caring. When her hands found his head and began holding it against her heat, everything else simply stopped existing. He closed his eyes and there was nothing but her. The scent of her arousal, that taste he had become addicted to, the way her hips undulated against his tongue. He took her that way and, within seconds, Lisa started writhing again, creating for him one the best remembrances ever. That of her pleasure.

Kissing her thighs for a moment, he then slid on top of her body, finally finding her mouth. Almost in a synchronized movement, they both reached down at the same moment. He guided himself inside of her and her hand covered his while he breached her. As he finally drowned in her body, they kept kissing, panting. Their eyes closed. Their souls soaring.

He moved. His thrusts were slow, but strong and driven. The feeling of her thighs cradling his hips, her arms around his back, her hands finding his feverish skin under his t-shirt. Her nails pushing into his muscles. Their foreheads touched and, as his vision became blurred, he realized that he wanted this thing with Lisa to be even more serious than it was now. He wanted her to never leave.

“Fuck me harder…”

It was nothing but a whisper in his ear as she cradled his face tenderly. The perfect contrast between the rawness of her words and the gentleness of her touch was almost enough to make him come. And yet he kept going, picking up speed, his movements becoming even more intense. Wanting nothing more than to please her, and knowing well that she could take everything he had to give.

When he felt that they were both close and that they wouldn’t be able to delay the inevitable much longer, Michael took both her hands and placed them over her head. Effectively pinning her down on the carpet while their bodies moved in unison – in a perfect dance. Lisa’s eyes opened and they were stormy, as deep as the ocean.

“Oh, shit. I’m gonna come again…” Rising her head, she bit down on his jawline. “Come inside of me… I wanna feel you.”

“Fucking… hell…”

How was he to resist such seduction? There was something so sexy about making love to her with nothing in between, with such abandon. About having her skin on his, her body clinging to him with no barriers separating them. And he adored how unbridled and unrestrained she was when it came to sex. She could ask him to fuck her or told him that she wanted to suck his cock and yet it would always manage to sound like the most endearing offer ever. She truly was the yin to his yang.

Those thoughts – which were more like colored, shapeless emotions and feelings – ran through him at the speed of light in the span of an instant. Meanwhile, his body tensed just as Lisa’s once again arched up, her torso adhering to his chest. For a split second, he wished that she was naked – but he also knew that there would be more time for that. Their orgasm took them away simultaneously and, at that point, everything outside their little bubble was utterly forgotten for Michael. He didn’t care about who had heard him, nor did it matter what they would think of them. This woman had changed him.

Hours later, they were in bed – still awake. They had finally managed to leave the foyer and, after a quick break, some fruit salad and a drink, they had made love some more. As usual, it had been intense and soul-shattering, to the point that for a while Michael had been able to forget about the trouble waiting for him in the outside world.

Of course, having Lisa by his side had turned out to be the most incredible help when he was sinking knee-deep into one of the emotionally direst moments of his life. No, scratch that. What he had been going through was by far the most challenging thing he had been forced to endure. What would have happened if Lisa had simply not existed? If she hadn’t been by his side, putting her entire life on hold just to be with him? Holding him, comforting him in those dark nights? Offering him what had suddenly become invaluable for him: hope. Hope for a different, happier future. Hope to not be alone any longer.

That was why he had asked her to marry him, back in December, over the phone. While he was still feeling so lost and confused, trying to get rid of his painkiller addiction – plaguing his body, yes, but also his mind.

Lisa had said yes, but Michael knew that he had asked her in a way that made his proposal sound a bit hypothetical.

“What would you say if I asked you to marry me?”

“I would say yes.”

She hadn’t even hesitated, and he hadn’t been expecting that. He had retreated immediately, telling her that he needed to go to the bathroom, but the truth was that he was unprepared for the emotional turmoil caused by her answer. He was sweating bullets because he truly meant what he had said, but at the same time he didn’t want to even risk having her by his side because she felt pity for him.

After that, he had never asked her again. Not even when he had finally gone back to California – and had seen her again. Making love to her after weeks apart, until they were both spent and exhausted. Drained and yet so replenished. He was better, he felt stronger, and wanted Lisa to have that part of him, not just the guy in trouble, hunted down like a rabbit by a pack of rabid dogs.

Of course, he was very aware that Lisa had noticed how skillfully he had avoided bringing up that wedding proposal again, but had never said anything about it. Yet, she had always stayed exactly where he needed and wanted her to be: close to him. To his heart, to his body.

Right now, as he lay down on his side and watched her, just lying there on the bedsheets, still naked, not an ounce of shame in her body language or demeanor, the intense desire of making her his again came back in full force.

Reaching out, he traced her collarbone with his fingertips, loving how warm her skin felt. Her hair was wild, her makeup was pretty much gone and her eyes looked even more profound and darker than usual. Deep blue clashing with aqua green.

Lisa smiled.

“Aren’t you tired yet?”

“Of you? Never.”

She rolled over, her hand touching his face, and kissed him on the lips. Sweetly, for a long time. Michael closed his eyes and let himself sink into that perfect feeling of togetherness. Of belonging to someone. Of wanting to belong to her with every bit of his heart. And she, to him.

She seemed to sense the shift in him and pulled back ever so slightly, her face still so very close. She stared at him, from one eye to the other.

“I do love you, you know. I really do. With everything I have.”

Tears welled up from nowhere and he pulled her close once again, finding her lips for another long moment of intimacy. Silence. Just letting her words sink in. There wasn’t any pain in the way he was feeling. Just the immense relief of finally having found a destination.

“Lisa…”

“Yes, Michael…”

“Would you marry me?”

The mild surprise in her eyes didn’t exactly startle him. She was smart. She knew that the whole matter would come up again sooner or later. Or maybe she was just better at reading his thoughts than he had guessed.

“Do you mean it?”

He nodded his head.

“Yes.”

She just stared at him. Her face was calm, serene. Not for a second he thought that she would say no because, after all, this mind-reading thing was probably mutual.

“I need you to know that I meant it back then, too.”

“Then what happened, next? I’m not mad or disappointed. I knew how scared and upset you were. I said yes because it was the truth. I would have married you.”

Michael smiled. A sad tiny smile.

“So it wasn’t because you didn’t want to hurt me, huh…”

She laughed that husky laugh of her.

“Hell, no. You know me. I can be a bitch if I think it’s what’s needed.” Then she got serious again. Serene. She stroked his hair, and her fingers slid down, resting on his chest. Over his heart. For a moment, she just closed her eyes and listened to his heartbeat. Her bridge to happiness. Her bridge to completeness. “I said yes because that was what I wanted. And I don’t think I would ever be able to say no to you, Mike.”

“I wanted to get better. I wanted to be the best version of myself for you. And I hoped that, in the meantime, I wouldn’t have to carry such a terrible stigma. And you, with me.” His eyes seemed to become remote for a moment. Distant. “But I can’t do that. I can better myself and do all I can to be a good partner… and husband… to you. But I have no power over how the rest of the world perceives me. And I’m so sorry, Lise… I want you to marry me, but at the same time it pains me to think that you too would get stuck in this.”

“What?”

“If you marry me… You too will get stuck in this.”

“I don’t care. I only want you. And besides, baby…” Lisa snuggled close to him. “You are so loved… Don’t let those clowns in the press ruin it for you. Sooner or later, the truth will find a way. It always does…”

Michael’s arms closed around her and he shifted, pulling her lithe body half on top of his.

“Do you still want it?”

“What, marry you?”

There was a bit of concern painted on her face, but that mischievous look was back too.

“Yeah…”

“Yeah. Yes, I would love to be your wife. Even though sometimes I have a feeling that it won’t be easy, and I’m afraid our worlds merging would piss off so many people. But you know what? I don’t give a damn about that either. Just like I don’t give a flying fuck about what the press says about you… they have no idea of the man you are. But I do. And even though I wished the entire world knew you for you really are, and how proud of you I am, that’s all that matters to me.”

He swallowed hard. He was supposed to woo her, to win her over with his marriage proposal, but even this second big speech had come out half-assed at best. And he didn’t even have her ring with him. That beautiful diamond ring he had chosen for her with the utmost care.

It was at his Hideout, safely stored in his nightstand. It had been for a few months. He just needed to find a way to let it out and shine. But just like his words felt stuck in his throat, the ring too still needed to reveal itself.

Yet, he decided to take that leap and he did it with all his heart.

“Then marry me.”

Second Act (The Confrontation)

“Do not be afraid. Our fate cannot be taken from us. It is a gift.”

New York City, September 1995

Michael

Staring at his reflection in the mirror, he couldn’t help but notice that there was something offbeat in his eyes tonight. In fact, he did look quite different than usual – all of him. He looked like a man who had been adrift for quite some time and now pretended he had left on purpose, when that was only partly true.

Michael had left Hidden Hills a few weeks earlier, after he and Lisa had almost torn each other to shreds emotionally during one of their usual fights. It had been bad, and he hadn’t seen any way out. Back then, he had just thought he couldn’t take it anymore and had felt that fleeing was the only thing left to do. And so he had done just that. He had chartered a plane and hauled ass with some family friends, staying abroad for a very long time – for weeks on end, in fact – while his wife was at home, not even knowing where he was.

Even though he had done his absolute best to enjoy his time away from home and pretend that everything was fine and dandy, at times keeping up the facade had been tricky. Like late at night, when he was finally alone in his hotel room. Missing Lisa. Being mad at her and also confused and heartbroken. Knowing that he was in love with her and, at the same time, not knowing what to do as the chasm between the two of them kept on growing. He feared that, at one point, it would just become too large to overcome.

He had ignored her calls for days. He had made it a point to let Lisa know that he didn’t want to be bothered, that he needed a breather from her. And then, after a while, she had just stopped calling. Her attempts to connect to him had rarefied at first, and then, one day, they had stopped altogether. She hadn’t tried to call him anymore. It had taken a bit for him to notice, because feeling righteous about something also meant being immersed in a bubble and very much caught up with himself.

And then, at one point, it had dawned on him. Lisa, his wife, wasn’t looking for him any longer. The only thing she did was have a bouquet of sunflowers delivered to him on his birthday. No note attached, not a word, nothing at all.

Not wanting to give in, he had asked someone from his team to find out more about her whereabouts, and within hours he had discovered that she had left Los Angeles and had flown to Hawaii with the kids. And Danny.

Michael’s reaction to the news hadn’t been pretty.

Even thinking about it now, he felt pure anger obfuscate his view. He rested both hands on the table and his head dropped forward as he chewed on the inside of his cheek until it hurt. For just a split second, he hoped nobody would have the genius idea to knock on the door of his dressing room. He needed a moment to pull his shit together, before getting out again and carry on with the night as if nothing had happened at all. As if he was a happily married man about to be awarded and just having been celebrated for his spectacular performance onstage.

After he discovered about Hawaii, ignoring her hadn’t been a chore at all. It was the only possible option not to lash out at her and destroy what was left of their marriage. Which seemed to be very little; that much was starting to become clear.

Lisa knew that Michael didn’t appreciate Danny being around as much as he was. Almost acting like it was his right to live on the property and shit. Of course, Hidden Hills was technically Lisa’s house, but still… It was supposed to be the place where she and Michael lived as a married couple. Yet the pesky first husband wouldn’t leave the premises. And despite the property being humongous and Danny living in another building, just knowing that he was there all the darn time didn’t sit well with Michael.

She had brushed off his concerns, telling him that divorced couples should do their best to get along for the sake of their kids. He had scoffed and told her that married couples were also supposed to have kids and that, of course, had set Lisa off. She had first replied that no woman in the world had the duty to procreate just because it was expected from her, and then had added that putting a child into the world was not the smartest choice if their parents were on shaky grounds as a couple. Fighting with her about this had become a moot point, yet the matter kept coming up.

So, all in all, Michael had managed to spend his last days in Europe in a state of complete peace of mind. Sort of. Knowing well that it didn’t matter if he was wrong – Lisa was too. Carefully ignoring how childish the entire thing looked from the outside and how much he and his wife needed to learn to communicate better. Being able to talk with their bodies while making love was no longer enough, and those had become heavenly parentheses that didn’t have the power to fix whatever was breaking between them.

“Yeah… it’s all going to hell. I wonder why you’re even trying anymore.”

He mumbled the words to himself and glanced up again at his own face reflected in the mirror. After his flawless performance onstage he had gone back to his dressing room and had taken a quick shower, and now was ready to go out again and reach Lisa in the audience.

They had spoken for a minute after their separate arrivals at the Radio City Music Hall, earlier that night. She had shown up backstage and, despite Michael dying to see her, the moment had felt a bit awkward. He knew it would have been very different had they been in a private setting, and being observed by everyone had made everything feel even more strained.

However, the first thing he had noticed was how gorgeous she looked, even though her eyes were sad. And also angry. His heart had melted a little. Then he had seen something else: she was tanned, as if she had bathed in the sun for days and days. The well-known sense of annoyance had resurfaced inside of him again, even though he knew that it wasn’t noticeable at all from the outside.

There hadn’t been any hugging or kissing. Instead, he had stepped closer to her and their eyes had met.

“Hey…”

“Hi, Mike.”

“I’m so happy you’re here…” He had cleared his throat. Wanting so bad to kiss her, hold her, make every single issue go away. And at the same time, being held captive by his own contrasting emotions. “…And I’m happy to see you.”

“Likewise. How was Paris? Fun?”

Her face didn’t betray any apparent emotion either. Not too much, at least. She definitely had gotten better at this game, but she would never be half as good as he was.

“How was Hawaii, instead…”

The conversation had pretty much ended there.

Twenty minutes later, he had stepped onstage and had poured his heart out as he performed. And he knew, deep down, that he had performed for her. Part of his intensity was caused by the mixture of feelings he had been experiencing – irritation, longing, confusion, love. But mostly, he was thrilled to have Lisa sitting in the front row and watching him onstage for the very first time since they had gotten married. She had popped up in his life in a challenging moment, when everything had been turned upside down. Instead of showing her his art, the wonderment he felt for things, Michael had shown her all his pain and demons. Well, it hadn’t been his intention and the circumstances had caused that, but it wasn’t something that he would have wanted her to see right off the bat. To have the man she loved at risk of losing his freedom for something he had never done. To have a stigma on her – simply by association. Smear by proxy.

Yet, she had stayed. She had married him. She had told him that she wanted his kids, that she wanted to have a family with him. And he knew that she had been honest. But then, at one point, something had broken. There was a crack in their perfect relationship. At first very small, that chink had progressively gotten bigger and now it was everything they saw.

Of course, all had felt different for Michael while he was onstage. He was proud to have her there and wanted to impress her, remind her why she had chosen him. Because he was different – not perfect – but different in a way that worked for her. And she, for him – even when they both forgot about it.

At first she had kept sulking, looking like a fish out of the water, completely out of place. But then something had changed about her too. He had seen her smile. Not in that open, honest way that she displayed when she was unguarded – just in a way that was simply unavoidable. He had seen the pride she felt for him painted on her face. And his heart had soared, because after all, if he had managed to accomplish that, maybe he would be able to reach every single goal he had set for them.

Despite Danny. Despite Hawaii. Despite his own hang-ups.

Michael straightened up and shook his head. He knew that Lisa and Danny didn’t have a relationship and were just good friends. He understood that on a rational level and found it even reasonable. But part of him was jealous of that man who had had everything from Lisa while he, Michael, sometimes felt that something was amiss. He felt like someone who wasn’t granted the same level of trust.

He took a deep breath. Regardless of what his issues with her were at the moment, it was no longer time to run and he couldn’t even hide onstage anymore. He had to go out and sit next to his wife and, for a moment, the realization of being in a public space, surrounded by people who had no business knowing about his and Lisa’s issues, almost made him feel better. For a few hours he would have some reprieve and then… Well, at one point, he would have to go back home with her and face the music.

Lisa had been quiet on their drive back to their penthouse at the Trump Tower, and even during the show she had barely spoken to him. However, when he had been awarded, she had smiled and had turned her head in his direction. For a moment, Michael had met her eyes from behind the lenses of his sunglasses – and he had seen pride. Again.

He had stopped short of leaning over and kissing her. He wanted it, but at the same time was unsure about what her reaction would be. In this sense, it had been a night full of false starts. First their chopped and uneasy conversation backstage, before his performance. Then while he was onstage, planning to jump down and reach her, and serenade her – and knowing from her face that she didn’t want him to involve her in anything public at the moment. And finally, right before he rose from his chair to get the darn award with Janet.

Emotional hiccuping at its finest.

All in all, he was glad that the night had finally come to an end.

They walked through the door and the house was quiet. Michael looked around.

“Where are the kids?”

“With my mother, in Memphis.”

“Oh.”

The last thing he needed at the moment was to think about Priscilla. It definitely didn’t help improve his mood. Turning the lights on, he made his way over to the bar corner.

“What about Danny…”

Lisa threw her purse on the huge sofa and raked her fingers through her hair. She looked exhausted.

“What about him…”

“Was he happy to have you all for himself while you guys were chilling out in Hawaii?”

The moment the words left his mouth, he bit his tongue. He almost hated himself for coming off so blatantly jealous and unable to let go. And even more so, he knew that this was the little match that would likely set fire to the whole barrel of gasoline.

Michael waited, but nothing came. He heard Lisa move behind his back and, at first, he just ignored her and carefully chose what whiskey he would be drinking. He poured himself a glass and took a long sip, his eyes closed. When he finally felt ready to face his wife, he turned. Only, Lisa wasn’t there any longer.

“What…”

He mouthed the word without really saying it out loud and glanced around, then narrowed his eyes. He heard her – she had gone to the other wing of the penthouse, likely to their bedroom. Which meant that she had refused to take his obvious bait.

Gulping down the rest of his drink, Michael followed her.

He found her shoes near the corridor, on the carpeted floor. Ah-ha! That was how she had managed to be so quiet. Without a word, he slowly headed down the beautifully illuminated hall and finally entered the bedroom. She wasn’t there either – she was in the bathroom. He could hear the water running.

Clearing his throat again, he lightly knocked on the door.

“Lisa?”

Nothing. He frowned. What the hell was going on?

“Lise…? Are you OK?”

This time she replied, and he immediately let go of a breath he hadn’t noticed he had been holding.

“Yeah… I’m OK. I’ll be out in a minute. If you gotta use the bathroom, pick another one.”

“No, I don’t need to use this specific bathroom out of the four we have in this place.”

He really didn’t, but if that was the hook to start a conversation, so be it. He felt wired and restless and didn’t even know how to define his mood. If he wanted to fight or just make up with her. Or both. The best scenario would be first the former and then the latter, because he surely had missed her more than he would ever admit while he was away. Yet, at the same time, it was becoming more and more obvious that Lisa was trying as best as she could to avoid any confrontation. Which was so unlike her.

What the hell was going on?

He waited, and it really took nothing but a couple of minutes, but it felt endless. All of a sudden, he realized that he was irritated and worried. He didn’t like it when he felt as if he didn’t have any control over something – and he had always taken pride in his ability to predict Lisa’s moves. Their fights, at times, had become some sort of sick game and he loved winning. Setting her off gave him some weird pleasure, as if he could still surprise her – despite that not really being the way he wanted to catch her off-guard.

But the times when he could leave her speechless just because he knew how to say the right thing at the right moment seemed to be long gone. And just like that, Michael wondered how it was even possible that they had changed so much in just a couple of years. Just like that, he was deathly afraid that his marriage to Lisa was about to end.

At that very moment, like a blade cutting through butter, she opened the door and walked out of the bathroom wearing just a pair of skimpy shorts and a thin tank top. He swallowed and watched her hips sway as she headed to the king-sized bed where they had cuddled countless times. Where they had made love until they were both breathless.

The sensory remembrance almost knocked him off his feet.

Damn…

Within the span of two seconds, his previous irritation was put aside and only intense desire remained. He felt the need to be close to her, reacquaint himself with the scent of her skin, the feeling of her body clinging to his. All those sensations meant home to him, and despite his instinct to just leave from time to time and be alone with his own thoughts and inspiration, deep down he always wanted to go back to her. Where he too belonged, where he knew he could be himself and, when things went well, he was also safe and secure.

Never, ever before Lisa stormed into his life like a tornado, Michael had felt safer from the vultures circling him. It didn’t matter how many times he had brushed off her concerns in the past, especially when it came to some of the people he called “family friends” and she, instead, couldn’t even tolerate.

“They aren’t your friends, Michael. They’re larvae. Leeches of the worst kind. Before you ever realize, they’re gonna suck you dry and they’ll do it with a smile on their face…” She had scoffed. “At times I wonder how you can be so blind to that.”

“Yeah? Well, guess what. At times I wonder how you can be so freaking disenchanted and disillusioned. Not everyone is out to get me, Lisa Marie.”

He knew that his condescending tone – together with being called by her full name – was an absolute no-no for her.

“Not everyone, no. But they are. I’m telling you, you should get rid of them. Of those fucking helicopter moms that see you as their meal ticket for their kids’ success in the biz. And don’t even get me started about some of your advisers.” She had grimaced when she had said the word, as if it nauseated her.

“Then spare me and don’t start. Even better – butt out of my business. You aren’t my mom and sure as hell you ain’t running my life. I’m in charge of my own decisions, you know. I’m a big boy.”

“Sure you are. And I’m just your wife. Why should I even have a word about what my husband does or doesn’t do? You know, like he does with me all the fucking time.”

Thinking about it now, it all seemed so infantile and stupid. Of course he wanted to hear her opinion and of course he needed her advice. But he was proud, independent, and he had played solo for so long that it was just so hard, for him, to let anyone in. Even her.

Hell, especially her.

It made Michael wonder why it was relatively acceptable to let outsiders weigh into his matters while, at the same time, it was so difficult to let Lisa have her say in the same issues. Maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t as progressive as he thought himself to be. Perhaps he was the kind of man who just expected his wife to stay put and be meek and compliant.

Then why was Lisa’s fierce personality one of the things he loved the most about her? God… Women were so frigging confusing.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

He pushed his own silent stream of consciousness to the side and removed his leather jacket as he watched Lisa intently. She had sat on the bed and now looked very much ready to go to sleep. This was so removed from every possible scenario he had fathomed when he had taken that plane back to New York, feeling on pins and needles at the mere idea of seeing her after weeks apart.

In all frankness, he had imagined that some explosive tirade would occur, and yet nothing of that sort seemed about to happen. He had clearly lost his magic touch and could no longer predict what would happen with his own wife, and the thought slightly upset him. How had he allowed himself to reach such a point? He detested feeling left in the dark!

“Yeah, I’m alright… just a bit tired. I think I’ll try to sleep it off and then maybe…” She sighed. “I don’t know, Michael. Maybe we can talk tomorrow, when we wake up. You too must be drained.”

Was she serious? Was she really acting as if he was still in the shit-hole and planning to leave him there for one more night?

His whole body stiffened despite his best intentions to remain calm and collected. If she really was just a bit tired, then her behavior felt more akin to punishment than anything else. As if she was making it very clear – without saying it out loud – that she was resentful. Mad at him because he had ghosted her for weeks.

“Well, maybe I need to talk to you right now and I’m in no mood to wait for tomorrow. Have you thought about that?”

His words came out a little harsher than intended, but it was too late to go back. He watched her as she raised her head slightly and their eyes met. And right then and there, behind the calm features of her face and deep down, in the blue-green depths of her irises, there was fire. Absolute and undiluted flames. He had finally managed to rattle her and the realization produced great glee, because at least this was familiar territory.

“And of course, Michael always does what Michael wants, right?”

Despite purposefully ignoring to answer his question, her voice had remained still considerably calm. She sounded way different from the woman he had fought with when he had left Hidden Hills, slamming the door behind his back.

Well, fuck this shit. He wanted to keep evoking reactions that he could comprehend and stop feeling confused.

“It’s not that.” Even though it kind of was, because he certainly had ghosted her. “It’s just that…”

Words failed him and he stumbled, metaphorically speaking. Wanting nothing more than telling her that he had missed her, and at times he had hated missing her so much. And that now that he was back, her emotional distance made him miss her even more.

“That, what?”

“Nothing. I just thought that, after all this time, we would have had plenty to talk about.”

Lisa’s eyebrows rose in a weird concoction of amazement and sarcasm.

“Right, after all this time, indeed. We’ve just spent weeks apart without even talking over the phone. Like two perfect strangers. It almost felt as if we were separated… ‘cause sure as fuck married couples don’t act like that.”

Michael frowned.

“What are you talking about? We aren’t separated. We just had… a quarrel, that’s all.”

“We had a whole collection of quarrels, as you call them, in recent times.”

“And how do you call them, Lisa?”

She rested her back against the headrest and crossed her arms over her chest in a protective gesture.

“I call them fucking arguments. Draining fights that exhaust the shit out of me. That’s how I call them.”

To be quite honest, she wasn’t wrong. And yet, at that moment, Michael felt the need to downplay the severity and the scope of their marital crisis. Because maybe, just maybe, if he did, the whole thing would just go away and stop existing. It didn’t even matter that, in some very dark moment of absolute confusion, he had told some of his people that he didn’t know if and how he could stay married to Lisa any longer. The truth was that he wanted it. He wanted her to be by his side, to be his wife… And the mother of his children, despite all their issues. But he was also aware that things needed to be better than this for any of that to happen.

And she needed and wanted the same thing. There was no doubt about it. It didn’t matter how much she huffed and puffed. She needed and deserved so much better than that. Much more than a husband who disappeared without a word and couldn’t even be reached. Michael knew that it had been a very low blow, despite his difficulty in admitting it even to himself.

“Fair enough. But I’m here now. And I’m trying very hard not to fight, can’t you see that?”

She scoffed and shook her head.

“Oh, are you? You could have fooled me.” She cocked her head to a side and stared right at him. “Do you know how I found out that you were in Paris?”

Michael just stayed quiet but didn’t look away. After all, saying anything would have been redundant. He already knew the answer.

“From fucking tabloids. I went to the grocery store one morning and there you were. Not in person, of course. Certainly not surprising me in the veggie aisle with a bouquet of flowers, serenading me. You were on the cover of a damn rag, having the time of your life at Disneyland.”

“I wasn’t having the time of my life. You know how it is – how it has to be – when I’m in public. I just needed to take a break.”

“Well, you got a big one, that’s for sure.” This time, she averted her gaze and he saw her eyes shining. There were tears there, and she was fighting very hard not to shed them. As if she thought that he was no longer worthy of all that heartache. “Big enough that there wasn’t even space for a phone call.”

“Well, at one point you just stopped calling. So how was I supposed to take your calls?”

“Maybe after I couldn’t get past your flunkies for a hundred times in a row I kinda got the memo, you asshole.”

Lisa calling him names breezed over him as if it was nothing.

“Like I said, I needed a breather… And the truth is that you did too. You weren’t home either. You were gone.” He tilted his head, trying not to say what he knew would come out of his mouth next. He failed. “…I guess Hawaii is the perfect place to be without a husband.”

“Paris isn’t half bad either to be without a wife, I hear.”

The silence that followed was as heavy as lead. He had felt wired ed and hyper-energetic for the whole day but now, suddenly, was very tired. Exhausted, really. This whole thing was utterly pointless. And beyond stupid.

Shaking his head to himself, he walked across the room and retrieved the carry-on baggage that his staff had left in the penthouse while he and Lisa were still stuck at the Radio City Music Hall.

He brought it back to the bed and, this time, he sat next to her, knowing well that she was still in a defensive mode. Taking a deep breath, he undid the zipper of his trolley and searched through the casual clothes he had brought with him for his free time. There it was, the little metal box he was looking for.

“Lise, look… I really don’t wanna fight. I know I left fighting, that we both did… and it was bad… but I’m coming home in peace. Whether you believe it or not, I missed you… and I still do.” He handed her the box and this time, when he met her eyes again, his were open. Vulnerable, disarmed. “Sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it. And I’m too tired to keep pretending I don’t.”

He could tell that he had caught her by surprise, that she too had been on pins and needles waiting for the bomb to go off. Ready to take cover as it usually happened as of late. Well… He meant it when he said that he was exhausted. Not because of the flight and not even because of his performance onstage. More than anything else, he was tired of being afraid to lose her and at this point, he was probably ready for anything. To have her stay or have her go. As long as her intentions – their intentions – were clear, they could find a new starting point and move on from there. But first thing first, he had to stop trying to bait her into a territory he felt comfortable in.

“What is this?”

“Just a little something I got for you while I was in Paris… Having the time of my life, as you said…”

“You got this before or after you noticed I wasn’t calling you any longer?”

The little mischievous glint in her eyes didn’t go unnoticed and he smirked. Well…

“Why don’t you just open it instead of nagging at me?”

Lisa snorted, but he knew that she was moved. He knew that she hadn’t been expecting anything of that sort. Such an obvious peace offer… It had to mean something. For him, it sure did. He had chosen that little present with the utmost care, and even though it wasn’t as glitzy and expensive as the gifts he usually selected for her, he truly loved it and hoped she would love it too.

“…Alright…” She exhaled. “Let’s see what caught your attention…”

Quietly, he waited and the moment seemed to dilate forever. She just had to open the box, really. It wasn’t wrapped up in any fancy paper or anything. He had just seen the thing and had bought it on impulse because it had made him think of her, just like another million things. Whether she believed it or not, he was constantly immersed in a world where even the tiniest details reminded him of her.

Her gasp made him blink. She saw Lisa staring at the glass-covered rose in awe, as if she had never seen anything of that sort. Thin like crystal, the glass surrounded the flower in its entirety, enhancing its colors. The red of its petals, the green of his leaves and stems. And thorns…

“What is this? Is it a real flower?”

“Yeah…” Again, he watched her touch the little object with her fingertips, as if she was afraid it could break at any time. “Yeah, it’s real.”

Just like his feelings for her. Those feelings that assaulted him every time he remembered what loving her meant.

“But how did they even manage to do that…”

He loved it when even her voice sounded full of wonder. So innocent and open, honest. He had to seize the moment. This was his chance. Their chance.

“Well… I don’t know all the specifics but… the guy told me that the flowers get subjected to some sort of treatment before the glass gets blown all around them. So they become… kind of immortal. They just stay there, immutable and eternal.”

Just like his feelings for her, it didn’t matter how hard he tried to fight them off at times.

“And why did you choose this, of all things?” This time, Lisa’s eyes left the shiny red rose and its glass capsule and met his.

“Because I wanted you to have something that you wouldn’t be able to expect. Something that could still surprise you…” He reached out, the back of his fingers touching her jawline. It was their first physical contact after all those weeks spent apart. “…And because I wanted you to remember that my love for you is just like that rose… It can’t change… it won’t. It doesn’t matter how fragile it looks to you. It ain’t.”

She blinked, her long eyelashes seemingly sparkling with liquid stardust.

“You’re so corny… And mushy.”

Michael giggled.

“Well, I guess you’ll have to love me anyway… even though I’m corny.”

“And mushy.”

“Yeah, that too.”

Lisa waited, as if suspended. Then she carefully placed the glass-covered rose back into its box, in its soft bed of velvet, and reciprocated the gesture that Michael had made just a moment earlier. She reached out and the palm of her hand came to rest on his cheek. The touch felt warm and comforting, and it was as if a weight had suddenly been lifted off his chest.

Without a word, she brought his head closer and kissed him. It was nothing but a series of soft, sweet pecks on the lips and yet the contact felt more meaningful than all those weeks of dreadful silence.

She pulled back, but her lips stayed very close to his.

“As if I had a choice,” she whispered. “As if I knew what not loving you even meant…”

This time, Michael seized the moment for real and just went with his instinct. Framing her gorgeous face with both hands, he kissed her again. A long, slow, deep kiss that rendered him breathless and dizzy. And she, too.

God… he wanted her. He longed for her. He needed to relive that connection that, when things were really bad, he thought no longer existed. And instead, there it was. One kiss was more than enough to remind him what he and Lisa had. What they had shared since they had fallen in love.

And so he kissed her again and her body seemed to melt against his. Standing on her knees, she moved and came to sit right into his lap. Her arms around his neck, her fingers tangled in his hair, her tongue in his mouth. Michael felt like floating mid-air and kept his eyes closed, just enjoying that perfect moment of reconnection. Or, at the very least, what could possibly be the prelude of it. He wasn’t so naive to believe that this was enough to fix all the issues that had been punctuating his marriage to Lisa in the past six months or so, but he was willing to try. Earlier that night, during the show, he had at times glanced over at her – unnoticed – and had barely been able to stand the sad, lost look on her face. For most of the night, it had been as if Lisa didn’t even know why she was there – and he could tell that she definitely wanted to be someplace else. It had broken his heart. She could be stubborn and bitchy, yes, but what was going on was also his doing.

How had they gotten to this? What had happened to the young couple that could hold onto each other in their darkest moments, knowing well that the sun would rise again? That there was hope. Those two people who were lovers, best friends, confidants, allies, and knew that they could always count on each other. Michael and Lisa had been that and so much more, at one point and for so long. It just wasn’t possible that all they shared had disappeared. It had to be somewhere.

“Lisa… Lise…” He was panting, and breaking the kiss felt like a chore. He kept framing her face with both hands and his gaze moved from her eyes to her lips. No, he had to kiss her again. Just once. And so he did. “Baby…”

“What…” Her eyes were glazed over and she was tugging at his t-shirt. He knew what it meant. Baby-girl adored making love to him and certainly was in the mood for it… but they had to clear the air first.

“Wait… I was just thinking… Maybe we really should talk, first… For just a minute…”

“Or maybe we should…” Her hands slid under his t-shirt, finding his skin. Burning him to the core. “Maybe we just need to get a bit closer, before anything else transpires…”

No. He could resist the temptation. He was better than this. They both were. They were two adults who could talk this out and then make love, not the other way around. Besides, what did her words mean? What else was supposed to transpire?

The thoughts were all there, just an inch away from his rationale, but when her lips found his neck, when her teeth began to gently nip at his skin, thinking straight and being coherent became extremely difficult. He hadn’t made love to her for so long, for weeks, and his body was starting to betray him badly.

“What do you think, big guy…” Her fingers popped the button of his jeans open as her warm breath caressed his breath. “Wanna help your wife relax for a bit before any soul-searching conversation?”

She found his lips again and he closed his eyes, reciprocating that intimate contact. Just one more kiss and then he would stop and talk to her.

And then her hips began swaying in his lap, forcing a grunt out of him. Oh, fuck it all to hell!

Michael removed her skimpy tank top in a hurry, finding himself face to face with her beautiful breasts. His mouth watered and he cupped them both with his hands, caressing them, kneading them.

The feeling was familiar. Intoxicating.

Lisa moaned and sighed, her head thrown back in absolute delight. One hand pried the zipper of his pants open, the other pulled his head closer until his mouth was able to latch onto her nipple. Another whimper. Letting go of her breast with one hand, he caressed down the flat plane of her stomach and reached around, crossing the flimsy barrier of her g-string, finally stroking that beautiful ass. This was heaven and maybe she was right: releasing some of the tension of the night – and the past weeks – was what they both needed, first and foremost. They had to remember the heights that they could reach together.

Lisa too seemed to sense the sudden shift in his mood, that unexpected urgency. She pulled off his t-shirt and he was glad and relieved when she finally managed to free his cock from his jeans. Her hand closed around his steel in a tight grasp and she began stroking him in earnest, her movements in perfect sync with their labored breathing. Without even knowing what he was doing, he ripped her g-string off, making her gasp, then she bit down on his shoulder a little harder than he would have liked in different circumstances. Right then and there, it only managed to amp up his arousal.

Wow. This was… intense. Hurried. Michael let go of her nipple and kissed her again, motioning to pick her up. Ready to flip her around and take her – just like she had asked.

But obviously, Lisa had something else in mind.

“No… stay here… don’t move…”

Her hands on his shoulders pushed him back quite aggressively until he lay down on his back. His feet still solidly planted on the floor, he held her by the waist, just watching her. Not uttering a word.

He was quite the bold, daring lover with her. Confident in his own talent in the sheets, just as he trusted his own instinct onstage. It had been a harmonious crescendo.

With time, he had become accustomed to relinquishing all self-control in bed, knowing that Lisa liked to play hard and loved it even more when he played harder. Being in love with her had also meant, for him, to finally realize that they pretty much had no barriers when it came to sex. They could engage in slow, romantic, tender lovemaking or hardcore fucking, and all the shades in between. There was nothing that she hadn’t conceded him, no place of her body that he didn’t know intimately, and if at one point he had thought that maybe they would end up getting bored with each other, he had been sorely mistaken. If anything, he craved her more now than when he had first had her.

And so this time, despite usually being the domineering party in the couple, he allowed her to do what she felt comfortable doing. If she wanted to be on top – metaphorically and otherwise – he would let her, at least for a little while. That was the kind of trust and rhythm they had been able to build. Their roles were defined, and just like Lisa would always manage to feel all woman with Michael, he would never doubt his manliness with her. That kind of perfect balance was hard to find, and many people never managed to obtain it in their lives. He knew how lucky he was to love and be loved like that, and that was what kept him going despite all their issues.

“I’m sorry, daddy… But I don’t think I can wait any longer… You riled me all up…”

“Yeah? How?”

“I don’t know… Maybe because you’re an asshole…” She smiled at him, ever so slightly. “Or maybe because of that beautiful rose…”

“Or maybe because you love me…”

“Yeah, maybe it’s because of that…”

She resumed stroking him, with even more determination now, and then leaned over, kissing his chest, capturing his nipples with her lips, then tracing a path of kisses from his chest down to his navel. Michael sighed, goosebumps rising all over his skin.

“Then, by all means… go ahead…”

She glanced up and gave him another one of those lopsided grins he had almost forgotten. He smiled back at her. With her hair tousled and wild, the remnants of makeup on her eyes, she truly was a sight to behold. Pure seduction in one lithe, explosive body.

Grasping his thigh as she kissed his lower abdomen, almost causing him to beg her to take him in her mouth, she pulled his pants down further with a little tug. She obviously needed more access, and he was more than happy to give it to her.

And then she sat up again. Naked, like an ancient goddess. One hand on his chest to steady herself, she reached down and guided him to her heat. Then, watching intently, she took him in…

Back home.

…with a long sigh, her body closing around him like a vise. Michael closed his eyes for a moment as his pelvis, almost in an automatic, instinctual motion, pushed up, causing her to cry out. Lisa sat on him fully and he felt her entire body shake and struggle to accommodate his size.

Slowly, his eyelids opened. There she was… eyes glazed over. Deep blue-green eyes looking like water, lips red and slightly parted.

“Holy shit… I had almost forgotten how big you are…”

Those were the kind of words that could easily manage to make him even bigger. However, he couldn’t be too cocky at the moment, because he too was reveling in the amazing feeling that getting reacquainted with her body entailed. Tight and soft, made to fit his.

Then her eyes focused again on his face and she began to move. Her hips swaying and rocking on him in a way that within seconds almost made him delirious. Lisa surely wasn’t holding anything back – she was going at it seriously, with an abandon that stunned him. As if she wanted it bad. And maybe she did, but regardless, it was obvious that this was more than just sex for her. It wasn’t simply making love and it wasn’t straight-out fucking either. It was something in between. Something weird, even new in a way.

And Michael went with the flow.

He allowed her to ride him and just kept lying on his back, his hands holding her by the waist, or moving up and around and caressing her perfect ass, her small, perky breasts. Reaching up, touching the side of her face. She captured his hand and sucked on his fingers, and he growled, fighting against the instinct of just reversing their positions and fucking her so hard and so thoroughly that neither one of them would ever think about leaving again. However, her firm thighs held him prisoner and he could only close his fist in her hair and pull her head down, finding her mouth, kissing her like mad as her rhythm picked up speed, as her lower body seemed to move on its own volition, driving him to insanity.

“Give it to me… I need to feel all of you…”

While they were still kissing, Lisa began to climax hard, moaning in his mouth. He felt bathed in liquid fire, felt her body clamp down on him to the point that he almost thought he wouldn’t be able to move any longer. But he could, and he did, making her come once again within seconds, or maybe just prolonging her orgasm. Feeling elated that she still responded so well to his touch.

She broke the kiss, her forehead leaning against his. They were both sweaty, and it was the hottest thing he could imagine at the moment because everything felt amplified, magnified. The feeling of her skin underneath his hands, the scent of hers, the heat emanating from her body.

“Oh, baby… You drive me crazy…” She kissed his neck again. “I missed you so fucking much…”

“Am I touching you right, baby girl?”

“Hell, yeah… Nobody touches me like you do…”

Still moving in unison with her, Michael captured her head with both hands, pulling her hair back to have a clear view of her eyes. He hoped she could see the storm ravaging him from the inside.

“I love you, Lise… I really do…”

Lisa listened and saw. Time felt suspended for the shortest instant. Then she squeezed her eyes shut and, this time, he saw the tears streaming down her face. Yet, she was smiling and sitting up again. Once again holding onto his torso as she picked up speed one more time.

“I love you too… More than you’ll ever believe…” Her head fell back again as she rotated her pelvis. “Oh, shit… It’s too much. I can’t fucking stand it.”

“There you go…” He guided her movements and pushed up, finding her rhythm, joining the dance, feeling the tornado of pleasure approaching. “Keep going, baby… You feel like heaven…”

“You like this, don’t you…” She took his hands and placed them above his head, intertwining her fingers with him. Kissing him again. “You missed this…”

“Yeah…” Michael swallowed hard, fighting against the instinct to just come. Blood pumped between his temples like a bass line. “I missed all of you…”

Lisa smiled.

“Do you still wanna talk, Mike?”

He blinked, yet didn’t stop moving. What was she talking about, now? Talk? About what?

“…Talk?”

“Yeah…” She slowed down her movements, making that grinding motion more driven and purposeful. “…Talk…”

Ah, well… He was not sure he could muster the mental clarity to have some deep conversation at the moment, even though it occurred to him that maybe she felt safer talking now that they were fucking. Now that they were united. He was pretty busy as he was.

Lisa waited, but really, he didn’t know what to say. What was happening was a bit out of the ordinary. She could be heated in bed and she usually was, but it was uncommon that she felt this intense need to control the whole action. So he just limited himself to watching her, waiting for her next move. Incapable of predicting it.

Slowing down even more, she lifted her torso again, changing the angle and depth of penetration, wincing in the process. Her hands slid on the moist surface of his sweaty skin, coming to rest over his chest. Close to his heart. He watched her sit up and take a series of deep breaths and listened to their bodies vibrating in perfect sync. If she truly left him empty-handed now, if she stopped moving while he was on the verge of his orgasm, he would probably lose his mind.

“I can feel you, baby… I know you wanna come, badly…And I need you to do it… I wanna have all you gotta give me…” She bit her lip. “…And then I can tell you what I’m about to give you…”

Wait, what? Michael frowned and, this time, stopped moving altogether. His brain kicked in and forced his body to obey the order.

“About to give me?”

“Yeah…”

She tried to resume their rhythm, but his hands around her waist prevented her from moving.

“No… I wanna know now…”

“Oh, do you…”

She raked her hand through her hair, smiling at him impishly. Her eyes held a mysterious quality that he couldn’t really appreciate. There was something there… Something that he wasn’t expecting.

“I do…”

“Aren’t we a tad bit bossy tonight?”

He had to laugh, even though his heart, all of a sudden, felt up in his throat. Was she going to slap him with divorce papers? Was she about to tell him that she and Danny had gotten back together while in Hawaii? What?

“You been bossy for quite some time, little lady, and I think it’s time for you to be put in check.”

Trying to make light of the whole situation was the only weapon he had left. A sense of anxiety was starting to creep into him, and even though so far his penis wasn’t giving any signs of going flat-tire on her, it would probably happen soon if she didn’t speak up and put him out of his misery.

“Well, then…” Lisa took a deep breath, then brought one of his hands up to her lips, kissing his fingers, one by one. “If you put it this way…”

Her hips resumed moving on him, ever so slightly. Michael’s eyes rolled back for a moment, then focused on her face once again. Well, this was much better. She didn’t look like a woman about to tell her husband that she didn’t want him anymore. Or so he hoped, at least.

“See… You found that beautiful rose for me while in Paris…” The mixture of serious talk and lust-filled tone was intoxicating and he found himself spellbound. “…But I, too, bumped into something interesting while you were away… Something that I gotta give you… and I’m quite sure you’ll adore…”

He didn’t reply. His mouth felt parched. It was as if even his body was operating on two different levels: his brain was solely focused on Lisa’s words, while his hips kept slowly thrusting into her, making it quite difficult for her to talk without moaning every now and then.

“I found a tiny little creature…” Lisa rested his hand on her own belly. “…Right here. I’m pregnant, Michael. I’m pregnant with your baby.”

Third and Final Act (The Resolution)

“We dream to give ourselves hope. To stop dreaming – well, that’s like saying you can never change your fate.”

Lisa

She didn’t even know how she had managed to put him in such a position. To dominate him with her body, when he usually was the one ravaging her from the inside out, in the best and sweetest way possible, to the point that she almost forgot her own name or her entire life before him.

And yet she had made him. She had seduced him and rendered him compliant and more than willing to listen, while at the same time his wonderful body gave her all the confirmations she needed.

The truth was that she needed both those things: his heart, open and ready to face what she had to tell him, and his body, raw and responding to her just like it had always done. Because the pregnancy had happened in a moment when she had thought it could never occur, and because she and Michael had been going through some heavy shit in the past months. Shit that had seriously put their relationship to the test, so much so that they had considered separating.

When the first home test had resulted positive, Lisa had felt her knees almost give in. She just couldn’t believe it and certainly wasn’t expecting it. She had bought the test just because she couldn’t figure out why in the world she was so late. Surprise, surprise, it looked like she was pregnant. And to go through it all while she was all alone at Hidden Hills, without Michael, without even having the chance to call him, had made her feel even more lost and confused.

Not for a second she had thought that she could be expecting, even though she and Mike never used precautions during sex. She was way too tired and stressed out. It just couldn’t be. As of late, it had simply seemed to her that her body was more than reluctant to give birth to another human being. Something was just off about her, didn’t work properly, and the more insistent Michael became, the more her womb seemed incapable to respond the way he hoped. And the more frustrated he got, the more she felt that having a child was the last thing that was supposed to happen to them. They had so much to take care of first. So much they need to try to salvage.

And yet, it had happened.

After the second positive test, she had gone to the doctor and had undergone all the necessary exams for good measure. Of course, he had just confirmed what she already knew – only with a modicum of added details. Lisa had gotten pregnant about a month earlier – which meant that it had happened a little over a week before Michael left for Paris.

At first, she had almost felt fainting. She had bawled her heart out and the doctor had asked her if she wanted to call her husband. She had just cried some more, without even replying in a coherent manner.

It had taken her a few hours to just calm down and think straight again. And when she had finally managed to get there, when she had explored the depths of her soul in a way that she hadn’t done in quite some time, she had realized right away that something was changing inside of her. The very next morning, waking up, the first thing that Lisa had done was smile.

It had dawned on her with a clarity that was as adamant as it was serene: the truth was that she wanted nothing more than to have this baby with Michael. Hers and Michael’s baby. She had pulled the bedsheets closer to her body and had turned to the side, watching his empty side in the bed. Missing him more than she had ever done before.

She had been so afraid that a pregnancy would push them into the bowels of hell as a couple, and certainly a part of her was still terrified, but the elation she felt was too powerful to ignore. In all honesty, Lisa had never truly appreciated the intrinsically seductive quality of carrying a baby that was Michael’s, and now she did. How could she not? She loved that man. She knew, deep down, what a great father he would be.

After that first moment of shock, all that was left was the most intense happiness she had experienced in quite some time, and every doubt about her ability to work things out with Michael had been pushed aside. Inevitably, all those fears had returned with a vengeance the moment she had realized that still he couldn’t be reached, that he didn’t want to talk to her, it didn’t matter how many times she told his entourage that she had something important to say to him. Rage and disappointment had followed, and after a few days Lisa had decided to leave Los Angeles, needing to get away from everything for a while. Needing to clear her mind.

Hawaii and time spent with her kids and a former husband that was also a good friend of hers – and nothing more – had sounded like the best option. Her vacation had allowed her to truly think things through and peel off the countless layers of bullshit that she and Michael had enveloped their marriage in. To see the core, the substance of it. And that core was nothing but pure and absolute love. Nothing else mattered more than that.

She was very much aware that, since leaving for Hawaii, she had never tried to call Michael again. First of all, the last thing she needed at the moment was to fight with him over the phone. Second and even more important, she was a notoriously bad liar and had no intention to tell him about her pregnancy until they were finally face to face again, which in practical terms meant that she would have to avoid him until he decided that it was time to come back home. Of course, she knew – because she knew how he operated – that he would be miffed, but he’d have to suck it up and be patient. After all, he had been the first to give her the silent treatment and certainly could be a master when it came to punishment.

A couple of more weeks had passed and, when she had finally seen him backstage earlier that night, he had managed to piss her off in zero time. All despite her best intentions. He hadn’t pulled her into his arms or kissed her silly, no. He had asked her about her vacation with Danny, causing her to want nothing more than slap the living daylights out of him. Lisa certainly hadn’t planned to talk to him before his performance, but she had been toying with the idea of letting him know that he would become a father right after the show.

As the hours went by, she had then started to feel unsure about how to proceed.

The entire night had been a pendulum of contrasting emotions, swinging from pride in his ability to own the stage and the audience to annoyance at his cocky behavior. She had seen him strut onstage to get his award as if he didn’t have a care in the world and, most of all, as if everything was fine and dandy. Well, Michael had no idea of the cold shower that she was about to douse him with.

Only afterward, when they were back in their penthouse in the Tower, he had expressed his desire to finally speak to her. Now, all of a sudden, he wanted to have a conversation? Well, fat chance. She was exasperated, tense, tired and felt a bit under the weather because of her crazy hormones.

At that point in time she had genuinely planned to wait before talking to him, at the very least until the following day. She truly had wanted to sleep her bad mood off. But then…

Well, then he had dropped his armor and had turned back at being the man she knew. Not the smug, entitled little bastard he could become at times. He was back at being the sweet, nerdy guy with those romantic words that could sweep her off her feet and a present that looked more beautiful than she could have ever fathomed. So simple, yet so gorgeous. She could tell why he had chosen that rose. To her, it symbolized the beauty and fragility of what they shared.

That was what had caused Lisa to make that first move on him. In different circumstances, in a time when there weren’t any clouds at the horizon and they were solid and united, she would have simply told him what she had discovered while he was away. But the truth was that, in different circumstances, Michael wouldn’t have refused her calls as if he didn’t even know her.

Making love to him was the last bastion to sanity she could cling to. The best way to connect to him she could think of. Loving him with her body was the bridge she felt she needed to finally reach him and be reached by him. And also… she just wanted him so much. She had been deprived of his touch, his kisses, for so long. When he had sat down on the bed next to her, when she had felt his warmth emanate from his body to her, she had wanted nothing more than have him buried inside of her, in that place – physical and otherwise – that he never, ever wanted to leave.

And so she had taken the bulls by the horns, so to speak.

The more her body became reacquainted with his, the more she felt they were intertwined and connected, banded together, merging into each other. She had only spoken when she no longer could discern where she ended and he began.

Right now, she would have to deal with the aftermath and it dawned on her: she was no longer afraid.

“Lise…”

Michael’s voice was husky, labored. Pearls of sweat covered his forehead and his eyes shone. He was so handsome… and she loved him so much. Too much not to try to fix whatever wasn’t working between the two of them. Too much not to change the course of something that, until a few weeks earlier, had seemed set in stone.

No. She would not allow anyone, outsiders or otherwise, to rob her and Michael of their future. Of their hope. Of a different tomorrow. They deserved to have their chance, something they would look back at, in many years from now, knowing well that the right choices could be made. That there were always options.

“Lisa… Lisa Marie…” He motioned to sit up and she anticipated him, leaning over, capturing his beautiful face with both hands, drowning in his eyes. Forcing him to stay right where he was.

They kissed and, right then and there, her lower body began to move once again. It read his signals just right, like a flawless Morse Code signal, and knew that he needed the release. Badly. All that pent-up tension had to go somewhere, after all.

“Lise… Oh, shit…I’m coming… Fuck…”

Michael gritted his teeth and she saw his muscles tense. She felt his steel expand and harden even more inside of her and, reaching down, she realized that just touching herself in passing was enough to pull her into the volcano with him.

They both came so hard that they almost passed out, and she felt as if her soul left her body for a moment, flying straight into his heart. And his, into hers. Flames and ashes. Rebirth.

It was beyond intense and excruciating, and she wasn’t surprised when she noticed the tears glistening in his eyes. Still moving inside of her, his motions slow and languid now, he stayed on his back and touched her everywhere. He kissed her everywhere. Her forehead, her eyes. The tip of her nose, her cheeks and lips. Gentle, soft, loving pecks as he whispered words that she couldn’t even comprehend on a rational level, but whose meaning she understood so completely.

Michael was home, and, by reflex, she was no longer adrift.

Michael

“Please, wear this…”

Lisa turned her head slowly and watched him from over her shoulder. A naked shoulder at that. Unable to resist, Michael slid on the mattress and kissed the soft, velvety skin of her back, the tip of his tongue tracing a delicate path along her spine. Her immediate goosebumps made him smile.

“Dude, stop! I need a damn break!”

No, she didn’t. She had been just as insatiable as he had been, and quite frankly, he was happy that way. He just couldn’t have enough of her, now that they also shared this ultimate connection. On top of all the other things that they shared, and that he had been too stubborn to notice for way too long.

“Yeah, you keep smiling that smug smile of yours.”

“I sure will.”

Kissing her side, making her yelp, he handed her his t-shirt. The one she had peeled off him hours earlier, when they had started making love. Right before Lisa managed to turn his life upside down once again, in the most beautiful manner.

“So… Are you gonna put this on or not? You know I like to see you in my clothes. It’s a bit Neanderthalish, but at this point that’s something I have accepted as a part of me.”

She laughed.

“What a silly man. What if I wanna parade around naked? After all, I only need a glass of water, and then I plan on coming back to bed and relax.”

“Uh-huh, relax. Sure. Well, of course, you can walk around the house in the nude. But then don’t complain if I jump your bones the very moment you get up.”

“For fuck’s sake. Didn’t you have enough already?”

“Not by a long shot.”

Rolling her eyes and pretending to be miffed when she was anything but, she put his t-shirt on. As the cotton fabric slid across her torso, Michael’s unmistakable scent wrapped itself around her, inebriating her senses to the point that she had to close her eyes and just revel in it. The truth was that she would often wear his clothes while he was away, just to feel him closer. Just to have the comforting feeling of his presence all around her. But now, well, now he was there. He was back.

He kept staring at her, knowing very well that her annoyed attitude was nothing but an act. Out of habit given their recent quarrels, yes, maybe a tiny bit out of self-preservation too. Hours of gliding together in a cloud of ecstasy certainly couldn’t fix what had gone in such a horrible way up until now. He was very much aware of this. Suddenly it seemed to him that he was very much aware of many things, things that had always been there and that he had been blind to.

At the same time, all had changed. When she had delivered the news, when she had told him that they would have a baby, the feeling Michael had experienced was like nothing he had ever felt before. It was something new and yet predestined and, for just the shortest span of an instant, he had had the feeling that he had somehow dodged a bullet. That this unexpected event, something he and Lisa were no longer planning, could potentially have the power to change everything. His future, but also hers. It was hard to explain, but he could almost touch it with his fingertips.

Hope manifested, emerging from flames and ashes. Apparently, the most scorching fire didn’t always burn everything to the ground. At times, it could just purify and disinfect the wounds. Create a clean slate.

“Lisa…”

She was already at the door. Touching the door frame, she turned once again. She looked adorable in his t-shirt, with her beautiful legs perfectly visible. Sexy. And all his.

“Yes?”

“Come back soon. I already miss you.”

This time she smiled, and he realized that he had almost forgotten how gorgeous she was when she was so genuinely happy and unguarded in her contentedness.

“If only you knew how much I miss you…”

She blew him a kiss and then disappeared from his field of vision.

Michael rolled on his back and clasped his hands behind his head, distractedly hearing her move around the kitchen. His eyes were fixed on the ceiling and this was the first time he was alone – albeit for just a few minutes – since she had told him about the baby.

He realized how floored he was by the news. So far, he and Lisa hadn’t spoken about the whole thing in detail. She had just told him about her pregnancy tests and about what the doctor had told her, and his stomach had dropped. She had been classy enough not to scold him about his absence and it was evident that she wanted this moment to be as serene as possible, but he was well aware that he had been away when she had found out that she was pregnant with his kid. Even worse than that – she had tried to call him several times, needing his closeness and comfort, and he had stubbornly refused her calls.

He had taken Debbie’s calls more than once, though… Allowing himself to be entertained by an offer that, back then and there, had sounded quite tempting.

“If Lisa doesn’t want to have your babies, I can. I’m your friend, after all. I can do it for you, if you want.”

Thinking about it now made him feel even worse.

Sighing, Michael ran his hand over his face and his palm came to rest over his mouth. He hadn’t given Debbie any definitive answer yet, but sure as hell he had toyed with the idea. He had considered it as a definite possibility. As a matter of fact, he had been ready to tell Lisa that, if she really was unwilling to let him become a father, someone else would. An old friend of his who wanted nothing more than made him happy.

And now, all of a sudden, it sounded like the worst idea imaginable.

“Hey… Are you OK?”

He lifted his head and found Lisa at the door once again, holding a bottle of fresh water in one hand and two glasses in the other.

“Yeah…” He tried to smile and leaned up on his elbows. “I’m good. How do you feel?”

“Pretty replenished.” She walked over and sat down on the bed, tucking her feet underneath her body. So fucking cute. “I thought you’d wear me out like you usually do, but this time it looks like you’re the one a minute away from falling asleep.”

Yeah… not a chance. His mind was reeling.

“You think? I guess I’ll have to try again and see if I can do better, then…”

“Drink some water, first.” She handed him a glass and the bottle. “You might need it.”

Michael laughed.

“I think you’re right, you know? This pregnancy has turned you even more into a sex fiend. Not that I complain.” He decided to ignore the glass and gulped down a big sip straight from the bottle, then handed it back to her and watched her do the same. His hand lingered on her knee, then his index finger traced the skin of her thigh until he reached the hem of her t-shirt. He tugged at it gently. “You can take it off, now.”

Lisa’s eyes narrowed – and seemed to darken. When she spoke, her voice sounded serious and just as seductive.

“Whatever you want, sir…”

Slowly, she slipped out of the t-shirt and just stood there, perfectly naked before his eyes.

It was then that Michael saw the slight differences in her body. Her beautiful breasts were a tad bit fuller, and even though it was still early for her baby bump to show, her whole skin appeared more luminous and vibrant, just like her eyes. She was already changing, and he was at least partly responsible for that.

He stared at her and felt tears burn in his eyes again, threatening to spill.

“I love you so damn much, Lise. I really do.” He took her hand. “Come here. I wanna kiss you.”

She scooted closer and lay down, and his lips found her. They kissed for a very long time, and then she snuggled against his body, her head resting in the hollow of his shoulder. Long minutes of silence passed. Then he heard her voice – it was small, insecure.

“You’re not staying because I finally managed to get pregnant… right, Mike?”

He held her tighter. Oh, no. If only she knew what she did to him. How she made him feel. If only he could make her see…

“No. I never really thought about leaving you at all, Lise. Because I believe in the vows we share. Are you?”

“What?”

“Staying with me because I’m your baby daddy…”

He felt her smile and sniffle against his skin. Maybe she found it kind of bittersweet that they shared the same insecurities.

“Hell no. I’m staying because I’m crazy about you. Even though you can be absolutely insufferable.”

He giggled, but then his smile disappeared and it took him a moment to speak again.

“…You were right, earlier. I was an asshole. I should have taken your calls.”

“Yeah… you should have. But it doesn’t matter anymore. You’re here now.”

“No, it does matter. I should have listened to what my heart told me… But instead it was more convenient to believe those who told me to stay away for just a little longer. To be selfish and think about my own wellbeing.”

Lisa stroked his chest.

“That’s not the issue. It’s OK to think about your well-being. I just hope that, from now on, that won’t mean that we gotta stop communicating.” She kissed the spot she had just caressed. “I’m sorry I made you so mad that you felt you had to leave instead of staying and trying to talk things through. I know I can be a bitch.”

“That’s not true.”

“Oh yeah… Yes, it is. I can be. Sometimes I just can’t help it.”

“Well… Let’s just say that we could have dealt with the whole thing like grown-ups do instead of… of…”

“I get it… Yeah… You’re right.”

Michael just kissed her head and sighed. Another long silence.

His lips stayed very close to her hair. He could smell the scent that made him feel at home. It was so comforting. So right. He hadn’t felt this peaceful in quite some time.

He had thought that the highlight of this day was coming back, seeing her again, performing in front of her with an energy that was even more vibrant than usual, or getting an award for something beautiful he had done with Janet. But he had been wrong. This was the highlight of this day. This was what coming home meant. And maybe… well, perhaps it would have been the same even without a pregnancy being involved. Even though he had to admit, that had been the last push that he needed to be shocked back to reality.

But if he wanted this reality to remain such and be the solid ground where he and Lisa could build their present and their future, then the wrong kind of silence could no longer do. And the wrong kind of secrets could no longer be kept.

“Debbie offered, you know?”

He didn’t even elaborate. He genuinely didn’t have the balls to.

“Yeah. And you considered it.”

Damn. How did she know? Shame assaulted him and he blushed.

Well, probably the same way he always knew all about her. They had entire crowds of people surrounding them. It occurred to him that maybe Lisa hadn’t been entirely wrong when she had spoken of their marriage as a harem. A place where so many people had so much of a say that, after a bit, you forgot who the husband and the wife were.

“You might be wondering how I even know about miss Rowe, huh…”

Yeah… he was indeed wondering just that, but the words just didn’t come.

“See, Mike…” She sighed and snuggled more into him. It was a good sign. Just in case, he pulled her closer to his body. “You weren’t supposed to know that I was in Hawaii with Danny and the kids. But you did. And the reason you do is exactly the same reason why I know about what Debbie told you.”

“And you aren’t gonna leave me for that?”

He was afraid to ask, but needed to know.

“Part of me wanted to, when I found out. I was furious and disappointed and for a day or two I couldn’t even imagine wanting to face you again. But then I remembered how different you are from any other man I’ve ever met… and how your reasoning too is, at times, unconventional compared to mine. Hell, to everyone else’s. And so I started thinking about what I had done to make you feel that way. Like you had to turn to someone else. Because I know you, and I know you haven’t slept with her.”

“I haven’t. I never intended to.”

“Right. However, let’s be honest, Mike… If I had pulled this shit on you and asked another man to get me pregnant at your place, you would have cut his balls off and probably kicked me out of your life in zero time.”

It was the truth. It was also something that he had never even thought about, and the realization made him feel in some kind of way. Not a good one at all. He just cleared his voice. It was best to tread carefully from now on.

“Go on…”

“Baby… We got so many people whispering in our ears all the time. They made it all worse. All that is not going well in our marriage, they made it worse. I think I already told you about a million times, and I know you don’t think it’s important at all, but I do. Because I saw it happen with my dad and I know all about the consequences… They weren’t pretty, as you can imagine.” Her hand came to rest on his stomach. Her touch was soft. “Some of those people around us, you might think they’re our friends. But I truly don’t because they do things… say things… that actual friends wouldn’t do or say. Things that aren’t their business anyway. And if a husband and a wife get to a point where they need ambassadors to communicate, then there are only two options… either they stop being together, or get rid of the ambassadors and start anew.”

“Lise… when I told you that you were right when you said that maybe we should separate, I didn’t really mean it. I was just confused… angry. Heartbroken. I didn’t know any other way to deal with what was happening.”

“Neither did I. See..” This time she leaned up on her elbow, her head nestled in her hand. Her hair was wild and half of her face was in the dark. The other half was illuminated by the lampshade on the nightstand. “Loving you takes my breath away… it always has. But living in constant fear of losing you is what snuffs me out. When you to go that place where I can’t reach you… then it’s when I’m hopeless. Then it’s when I know that I couldn’t save you, help you, be with you if you ever needed me. And it’s also then that I can’t save myself either.”

She just shook her head.

“It’s just so hard to explain. But at times, when I feel that way… well, then I start thinking that letting you go is still a better option than being constantly terrified of knowing that you’re gone.”

“Yeah… I think I get what I mean.”

He truly did. At times, he had felt the same way and he recognized her struggle in verbalizing something that was complex and convoluted enough to keep him awake at night.

“When I left for Paris, I truly was under the impression that you couldn’t trust me any longer. That you second-guessed my feelings for you. I just couldn’t deal with it and I needed to stay away for a bit.” He sighed. “And now that I told you about Debbie… And you know that I considered her offer… well, at this point I’m pretty sure you don’t feel you can trust me at all.”

And that broke his heart – to even say it out loud. But it was also his doing, and running away from it was not the solution. That much was clear. He and Lisa could keep running away from all the issues they had instead of trying to fix them, could think about throwing in the towel instead of fighting for what they had built through the years, or pretend there would come a day where the love they felt for each other would no longer be there. But he felt that it would just not work. Eventually, all that running would simply catch up with them, leaving them breathless. Truly taking their breath away in the worst possible way.

“You’re wrong, Michael. I trust you. But not the people around you… Or around me. We both have to understand the difference if we want to move forward from now on. I used to think that a pregnancy would have been the last nail in the coffin of our marriage, but then… when I found out about this baby… our baby…”

Instinctively, his hand moved and came to rest over her still flat belly. He wanted nothing more than to protect her and their child. He wanted nothing more than to stall this moment for eternity. He wanted nothing more than time – time for them to do better and be better.

Lisa smiled, ever so slightly.

“…Well, I realized that it might save us instead.”

“You’re right… It could. This love that we share… It can save us.”

They stared at each other for the longest time.

“What are we gonna do from now on, Lise?”

“Try, Michael. We’re gonna try as long as there’s an ounce of love left in us… If you too want it.”

He took a deep breath and then released it. It had never felt so easy.

“Then we’ll keep trying forever… until we get it right.”

“We’ll get it right.”

End.