Unraveling – Chapter 20 [Epilogue]

Chapter 20 – The tree – Epilogue

“So? What about that book of yours? Is it ready yet?”

“Shush! Are you out of your ever-loving mind or what?”

Glancing around in the hope nobody had heard, Lisa took Janet’s hand and dragged her into the kitchen. She closed the door behind her back and scanned her sister-in-law’s face. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“Are you fucking drunk?”

“Hell naw. I don’t think so, no. Just a lil’ tipsy, maybe. Hopefully.”

“Bull! Janet, you sound shit-faced!”

“I’m not there yet actually, but you know what? I might be planning on doing just that. And believe me… you’d be thinking about getting shit-faced too if you had just spent an hour fighting with your fiancé over the phone.”

Shaking her head, Lisa placed two water glasses on the kitchen island and pushed one in Janet’s direction.

“Ah, no. Not that fiancé. He acts like an asshole every other day and I don’t like him one bit. You know it, I told you. I still think you should drop him.” They sat down on the stools, side by side. “Besides, I’ve had my fair share of brutal fights with Michael in the past, thank you very much. I know exactly how it feels.”

“Right… And you did drink afterward! I remember, since I was often with you…” Laughing, Janet leaned against Lisa for a moment, causing her to smile.

“Yeah, you were. But thankfully, those times belong to the past.”

“Don’t tell me you and my brother don’t fight anymore. I couldn’t survive that.”

Lisa chuckled.

“No, we do. Of course we still fight. But only rarely. And it’s always manageable. Most of the time it’s just little quarrels for the sake of making up… And I love it… I really do… Michael and I needed this after last year.”

“Shit, don’t even make me think about it. I wanted to strangle him when he called me. I couldn’t believe that bullshit he had just pulled and honestly, back then I wasn’t even sure you’d forgive him. But then…”

“Then what?” Lisa turned to look at her. Janet’s eyes were sparkling, and if she had looked drunk earlier, now she seemed very present and very lucid.

“…But then you stayed. And he didn’t front. He didn’t run away like he used to do in the past. Instead, he faced his shit and fixed it. It was then that I realized you guys had changed for real… for good. And for the better.” She gulped down her water, but her gaze stayed on Lisa. “That’s why I was asking about your book, sister. I thought Michael knew.”

“He doesn’t. Not officially, at least.”

Janet was very much aware that Lisa had been writing a book for quite some time, because she was among the few people that her sister-in-law had told about it so far. Lisa was still insecure about her talent in that department, even though her skills as a lyricist were truly beyond excellent. For the life of hers, Janet couldn’t understand why Lisa couldn’t trust her storytelling abilities.

“And unofficially?” Janet giggled. “I know my brother. He’s nosy as hell.”

Yeah, he was. Because some things just never changed and Lisa was happy they stayed the way they were. They didn’t bother her.

She knew full well that Michael had surreptitiously been able to get a hold of her book draft and that he was aware of so much more than Lisa had been willing to disclose.

Michael knew that she was writing a novel about a little girl who had lost her father. A dramatized version of her own life. A little project that she had started almost for no reason whatsoever, and then had become anything but. The more she wrote, the more she felt compelled to remember and write some more. She guessed that it was her own private and personal journey to healing while Michael, too, did the same through visual arts.

Lisa didn’t even care about having a deadline. She was not in a hurry and was not concerned about a possible book deal either. As a matter of fact, Janet thought that Lisa should get in touch with some literary agents, just to test the waters, but she was not interested. The only thing that mattered, to her, was that this book had some value for the writer – herself. It was her way of getting insights into her own psyche, capturing details of her life that she was afraid she would one day forget, seeing patterns in her own life. It was a way to remember, mourn, appreciate, and learn.

So yeah, Lisa knew that Michael knew. And it didn’t matter that so far he had never told her about it. It was just a little white omission, and she trusted her husband like she had never done in her life. If he wanted to snoop around, he could – because their little secrets were nothing but a facade. They didn’t exist anymore.

“Jan, the truth is that it doesn’t matter if he knows and how much he knows. I’m planning to use him a proofreader soon, anyway.”

“See? That’s something only an accomplished, happy partner would say. Which is something that I should have known anyway. I can tell you and Mike found your rhythm again, you know? You even danced to that slow, romantic song! You guys were perfect during the party, tonight. In fact, I’m astonished you even threw one, you know? You usually are so private…”

“Well, with a new baby on the way, how could we not celebrate? And then Michael’s exhibit and all that stuff. There’s enough happiness to go around and we wanted to share it with you guys. What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing!”

“Well, then…”

Janet rested her head on Lisa’s shoulder in a very confidential, affectionate manner.

“About the little one… Lise, I can’t believe I’m gonna be an aunt… Again.”

“And I can’t wait to be her mom. You should see her, Janet… Mariam is just so beautiful and perfect. She just needs a family. And you know what? Mike was right, when he said that it didn’t matter if a kid is biological or adopted. You can love them just the same. He was right all along.”

“Yeah… Mike’s heart is big enough for everyone. And so is yours… whether you believe it or not. You’re soft, sister. So very soft. And fierce. You’re both things at the same time, and that’s why my brother is crazy for you.”

“Okay, you’re rambling now.”

“No, I’m good. Can I have some more water?”

Lisa laughed. Yes, all of a sudden Janet sounded as if she really needed to sober up a bit.

They were still chatting away when the kitchen door opened and they found themselves face to face with Suzanne Plumb. Once she took off her therapist hat, the doctor was a pretty pleasurable woman – much more relaxed, funny even, as Lisa had discovered during the party. Inviting her over for their family celebration had only seemed fair to her and Michael, and Plumb had accepted right away. She had sounded surprised and pleased, happy even. Maybe she wanted to personally see how successful her treatment had been, and Michael and Lisa were more than glad to show off.

“Hey… Hello, Lisa Marie.” Plumb tipped her head in Janet’s direction. “Miss Jackson…”

“Hello, doctor.”

“I just wanted to say goodbye. I think it’s time for me to start heading back…” She walked over and Lisa rose from the stool. “It was a beautiful celebration. Congratulations… For everything.”

Janet too stood up and gently touched Lisa’s back.

“I’ll go check on Mother.” She smiled at the therapist. “Doc, it was a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

Once alone in the kitchen, Lisa and Plumb listened to the muffled sounds coming from the rest of the house through the closed door. The silence in the room was so peaceful, so calm.

“Thank you again for inviting me.”

“Hey, it was our pleasure, really.”

“Still, I wasn’t expecting it.” The therapist smiled. “I love your new record, Lisa, by the way. And Michael’s paintings are amazing.”

“Well, Michael and I really wanted you to be here and see it all with your own eyes. After all, the credit for this success is yours, too… So, thank you.”

“It’s called teamwork. Besides, I couldn’t have done anything if you and your husband hadn’t been so invested in the first place. I am not saying it was easy, but you two have always worked so hard at saving your marriage… I am genuinely happy it all worked out in the best possible way. All without sacrificing your own individuality, your projects, your dreams.”

“Thank you. I think all that you saw tonight is the result of what we went through… Mike and I just were able to make our relationship not only a priority, but the priority. Everything else just came naturally.”

“I think so too. You are now more than ever two people who see and appreciate what you have.”

“And we still do all our homework, you know?”

“Like?”

Lisa laughed softly. And blushed.

“Well… Regular check-ins where we talk about everything that’s going on in our lives, couple rituals such as morning coffee together and… other things… Healthy boundaries that don’t allow anyone to interfere with our desires and plans… We even cheer each other on!”

“Wow. You sound like you’re each other’s biggest fan.”

“We are…”

Just listing all those things that had become part of her and Michael’s daily lives made Lisa feel incredibly empowered. If one year earlier anyone had told her that she would have felt so giddy and ecstatic, at one point, she probably would have told them to go fuck themselves. And instead, she had found out that happiness resided at the very end of the most difficult road at times.

“And we’re also our strongest allies.” Michael appeared as if he had just materialized out of thin air. Just leaning against the door frame as if he had always belonged there. “’Cause you know what, doc? One of the most important things to me is that Lisa is there for me and I’m there for her.”

“I know it is.” Plumb didn’t look surprised at all. She turned to give Michael a good look as he finally stepped into the kitchen. “I like the new look, by the way.”

Oh, right. Michael had shaved his beard a few weeks prior, and as he walked over Lisa too watched him – recognizing, on his beautiful face, all the details that had belonged to the young man she had fallen in love with. And who would always own her heart. He now only sported a light stubble and, with those long sideburns and his shortish dark hair, curly and slicked back, he looked like a dream come true. She took his hand.

“Well, I had actually become fond of his beard, but still… it’s nice to see my man all clean-shaven again. That’s the face I fell in love with a lifetime ago. And the feeling still hasn’t fucking faded away.”

Michael’s eyes widened.

“Lisa! Language!”

“It’s okay…” Doctor Plumb laughed. “You’re allowed to be mushy. And even crass. It’s all good.”

She took a deep breath and clasped her hands together.

“So, anyway, I better get going before it gets really late. It was nice to see you guys. Even though I hope I will never see you again… for obvious reasons.”

“Hey, you never know!” Michael smiled. “But we hope so too. Goodnight, doc.”

A couple of hours later the party was over, the guests had all gone home and Michael found Lisa in Logan’s room.

She was sitting in the rocking chair and was watching the kid sleep. Logan had had such an exciting day and, quite uncharacteristically, he had been allowed to stay awake up until late with his older brothers and sisters. Now, of course, the little one was out like a light, and his live-in babysitter Letitia – asleep in the next room – was very likely exhausted as well.

Michael had made sure that everyone in the house was tucked in and cozy – the other kids, but also his parents and sisters, who had been staying in the guest rooms and would only leave the next day. The atmosphere was beyond peaceful, beyond calm and he knew that Lisa had felt his presence at the door. It had happened earlier too, in the kitchen.

It was because they were so in sync as of late. They had gotten back at being what they had always had the potential of being and he could not believe that, for so long in the past, at times they hadn’t been able to feel that magic. That uniqueness. That never-ending spell.

However, the only thing that mattered was that they could feel it now. It was all there was. It was everywhere and it was everything.

His shoes didn’t make any noise on the plush carpeted floor and he allowed himself to observe Logan sleep in his tiny bed for a minute. He touched the toddler’s hair and kissed his forehead. Then he crouched down next to Lisa, closing his eyes when she raked her fingers through his hair in a sweet, loving gesture.

“I can’t wait for Mariam to be here… With us… Where she belongs.”

She smiled.

“Yeah. With her mom and dad. She’s gonna have the most perfect daddy in the world, you know?”

It was his turn to smile.

“And the best mama. Are you tired, princess?”

“Not much. You?”

“No… Hey… You know what I was thinking?”

“What were you thinking, baby?”

Her eyes were full of love and a strange wonder that Michael couldn’t really decipher to the tiniest detail. Well, he would keep trying. He loved to know that she could be an open book to him. At least to a certain extent. Lisa too had changed, and no longer was the young woman he had met at his lawyer’s wedding.

“How about we unwind for a bit? And relax. And take some time for just the two of us…” He held out his hand and stood up. “Come with me? I would like to show you something.”

Smirking, she just took his hand and they quietly left the room together. Without a word, he guided her downstairs and to the garage, then to the car. He opened the passenger door for her and Lisa didn’t even ask where he was planning on going. This was silent communication at its finest.

“We’ll be back soon, I promise.” Michael winked at her before walking around the SUV and extracting the car key from his pocket.

The road to the countryside was quiet and dark. There was nobody around and it was comforting, to experience the luxuries that living right outside the city entailed. It almost felt as if he and Lisa were the only two people left in this world, and Michael was okay with it. For what he had in mind, he didn’t need anyone but his wife.

It took him about half an hour to reach the place where he had run off to after kissing Christine. While he followed the route out of Victoria and he and Lisa shared a comfortable, jazz-filled silence, it also began to rain.

How bizarre. Even that day, back then, it had been pouring down. Only, the flavor tonight was so different. Far from grimy. Far from gloomy.

Michael slowed down the car and turned to the left, into a small rural road, untarmacked and barely visible from the State Highway. He stopped the SUV in a lay-by and turned off the engine. The lights in the cockpit grew dim, then went dark. Glancing outside for a moment, he noticed that the blueish light of the night made the details of the usually beautiful landscape vague and inconsistent, ethereal. Almost smeared like a watercolor. He had never been in that place with Lisa. And he had never gone back there since that only time.

Almost on cue, she too glanced around.

“Where are we? What is this place?”

Her voice was soft, calm. She didn’t sound concerned at all. She trusted him. Michael rested his hands in his lap and bowed his head. He took a deep breath.

“I don’t know what it’s called. This is where I went after what happened last year.”

She studied him for a moment, assessing his words.

“Why?”

“I have no idea. I didn’t really have a destination in mind. I just needed to be alone for a while and think things through, I guess. I was very upset.”

“And you never went back here afterward?”

“Not until now, no.”

Lisa stayed quiet for what felt like forever. Michael waited, calmly.

“Then why did you take me here? Why tonight?”

He just shook his head vaguely, then shrugged his shoulders.

“That’s an interesting question. I’m not even sure how to reply to that. I just know that I thought about this place plenty of times in the past year, wondering what I was doing here that day… Why I had come here. I still have no answer.”

His voice was serene, a bit remote, but not distraught. It was almost as if he was talking about something that was so lost in time to concern him only vaguely. Yet Lisa knew that the place held some meaning to him – mostly because Michael was a bit of an animist. He believed that not only every living creature possessed a distinct spiritual essence, but also objects… and places.

“I am sure you can find one if you think about it.” Reaching out, she rested her hand over his. He immediately sandwiched it between his hands. They were warm.

“Well… I think… I don’t know, I just think that maybe this place could have ended up symbolizing the dissolution of what we have. Like the end of the road. And instead…” He finally lifted his head and watched her straight in the eyes. “Instead maybe it’ll end up being a closure. Or becoming some sort of beginning.”

“Or maybe it already is. Mike… if you came here afterward… then this is where everything started unraveling for you. Everything that wasn’t working.”

He gave her a lopsided smile, but she could tell that he was touched by her words.

“Or maybe it’s just a little spot in the countryside, with a lot of grass and a huge tree in the middle of a lawn.”

Lisa nodded her head, her eyebrows springing up.

“Yeah! Maybe it’s just some fucking little spot in the middle of fucking nowhere.”

Michael had to laugh, even though there was a bitter aftertaste to it. He brought Lisa’s hands up to his mouth and kissed them.

“How do you do it? It happens every freaking time. You always manage to make me laugh to the point that I forget why I was even upset to begin with. I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but it still works. You are…” He couldn’t find the words. Not to the extent that matched the whirlwind of emotions he was experiencing. “…You’re everything I wanted and also all I didn’t even know I needed. You always were, Lise… Even when I couldn’t see it.”

Her eyes softened, then sparkled in the blueish light of the night. She slowly withdrew her hands from his grasp and then did something unexpected. She opened the passenger door and jumped out of the car.

“Lisa!”

Michael watched her walk quickly around the vehicle and then open the driver’s door. She held out her hand.

“Come on. I just got an idea.”

Michael narrowed his eyes and another little smile stole on his lips. Biting his lip, he took her hand and followed her outside. The rain was very light and thin, but the temperature had dropped considerably compared to the mild, sunny afternoon they had enjoyed. Winter in Canada was no joke.

Surprising him again, Lisa dragged him into the field and they started walking together on the wet, shiny grass.

Patches of snow studded a surface whose end Michael’s eyes could not even see. He followed her as if he was trapped in some kind of beautiful dream – one of those dreams that would make him feel as if he could sleep for another twelve hours or so. A few seconds later, it finally hit him: Lisa was directed toward the tree that stood, all alone and proud, right in the middle of the lawn.

It was a sugar maple and, given its height and the size of its trunk, it must have been there for centuries. As they got closer, Michael noticed that its bark was furrowed, with large flat scales that seemed to vertically peel off the tree.

Yeah. Definitely a mature tree, that would become breathtaking again during spring, and that right now was resting.

Her breathing a bit uneven, Lisa touched the tree, then turned and leaned her back against it. Her cheeks were reddened and her breath came out in puffs in the chilly air. She looked young, beautiful. And playful…

Michael chuckled, his hands immediately on her waist.

“What?”

“Nothin’… I just thought that this place should turn into a trove of beautiful memories… Besides… This tree is majestic.”

Squinting his eyes, he glanced up. The foliage was scant – to say the least. He made a face.

“Well, right now it’s not at its best, that’s for sure…”

She grabbed him by the lapels of his coat and pulled him closer. He immediately felt the heat emanating from her body. Warming him through his clothes. Setting him alight. He rested one hand against the trunk, while the other stayed on Lisa’s waist. He wanted to be able to touch her until the end of time. He wanted her to never leave again.

“It will be. It just needs some time… Like we did…”

Michael swallowed hard. Was this real?

“You know… in the winter, maple trees have less use for chlorophyll because the days are short and sun rays are scarce… But their roots, branches and trunk are perfectly suited for these cold temperatures… They contain life-giving nutrients that travel wherever the tree needs them…”

Her lips were just an inch away from his mouth.

“I told you… It’s just like us…” She inhaled a deep breath. “God, I love to hear you speak… You know I do… But it’s cold as whiz out here and I don’t wanna get frozen… So… why don’t you warm me up a bit, daddy…”

God… This woman.

Staring at her lips for a second, Michael kissed her and immediately his body adhered to hers.

Yeah, she was right. The night was colder than a brass toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg, yet he had never felt better or more alive. He didn’t want to be anywhere else, doing anything else, with anyone else in the world. He just wanted to stay there, kissing his woman for the rest of his life.

And so he closed his eyes and did it. He felt Lisa’s hands on his face, heating up his skin. Her tongue in his mouth. Her sighs and gentle moans as his hips rocked against her, as his body called out to her, and hers responded.

She was still wearing that beautiful evening dress that she had on during the party, because he had pretty much kidnapped her and driven her in the middle of fucking nowhere without even giving her the time to put on something warmer and more comfortable. Thank goodness she also wore a heavy coat, even though he planned on making sure that she wasn’t cold. Besides, her high heel boots were a nice plus, since they allowed her to be only slightly shorter than him.

They kissed and kissed that way until everything else disappeared and the darkness of the field swallowed them whole. They caressed each other. They hated those many layers of fabric separating them. But they loved the moment, the atmosphere, and the location. Of course, Michael was as hard as a rock and Lisa’s dirty words, whispered in his ear, certainly weren’t going to get him soft anytime soon. He really needed to move this private party back to the car. Or to the house. Or anywhere that was warm and comfy enough for him to peel some clothes off her.

When she started kissing and sucking on his neck and her hand massaged him through his pants, he knew that it was time to go. Without even missing a beat, he picked her up bridal-style and started to waltz back to the SUV, almost dancing in the snow, twirling like the happiest fool on the planet.

“Whoa! Don’t drop me!”

“No worries…” He almost slipped on the snow but recovered smoothly. He still had all the moves.

Lisa threw her head back and laughed. Then her arms came around his shoulders and her hot lips attacked his neck once again. Her tongue caressing his throat, scraping his stubble. Making him shiver.

He sped up the pace and felt her smile against his skin. When she spoke again, her voice had taken that low, husky tone that always preluded the absolute annihilation of all senses.

“Mike… Your back… I don’t want you to get hurt…”

Hurt? He felt wonderful! Rejuvenated, even.

“I’m good…” He found her mouth and kissed her hard, standing in the light rain for a moment. “But I don’t wanna go back home… yet…”

Her eyes found him.

“Then let’s stay.”

It was all the reassurance he needed.

Michael closed the small gap separating them from the car and put Lisa in the spacious back seats, getting in himself and closing the door. Thankfully, the SUV was still warm and definitely roomy enough for what he had in mind. When had it been the last time they had made love in a car?

“Mike…”

“Yeah…”

He looked up at her. With her hair wild and those smoky eyes staring back at him, she almost looked supernatural. Ethereal and real at the same time.

“I’m so proud of us…”

He smiled, then pulled her close and kissed her again.

The next half an hour or so was intensity manifested.

They did everything they could with the few resources they had at their disposal. He removed her coat and his own and their clothes became blankets. He took off her boots and her stockings, then her panties. He buried his face between her legs and loved to hear her cry out his name as she held his head down, as her pelvis undulated against his tongue. As she climaxed, almost making him lose control.

“Oh shit… Oh, God damn it…” Her fist closed in his hair. “I love you so much…”

His eyes closed, Michael savored the unique taste of hers and kept caressing her with slow, long licks as she floated down and back into herself. Then he felt her tugging at his shirt, which at that point was half out of his pants, half unbuttoned and completely crumpled. His tie was loosened and thrown over his shoulder like a scarf.

He was a mess and didn’t care one bit.

He moved up her body and they kissed again. Her hands on his face again, the feeling of her warm palms against his cheeks. Her fingers caressing his neck, his chest, down to his abdomen. Reaching his pants, opening them.

“Baby girl… I gotta do it… I can’t wait anymore…”

“Yeah… Me neither… Put it in…”

He knew that he should have had her sit in his lap and take her that way, but really – he was in a hurry. Lisa kept lying down on the spacious backseats and he knelt down between her legs. He felt her perfect, toned thigh cradle his hip. Her hand on his penis, holding him and stroking him. He shifted, and they touched. They both moaned at the same time.

Then he was inside of her and they were moving together. He kept his torso lifted, leaning up on one hand while the other held Lisa’s thigh against his side. Their eyes stayed connected for the entire time and he watched the pleasure on her beautiful face, coming and going and coming again in waves as she tried hard to control it, to hold her climax at bay. Because she was waiting for him. He loved how she rested both hands, palms flat, on his chest, as if she was steadying him while in fact she was listening to his heartbeat, to his breathing.

This was what eroticism was all about. This was what love was all about.

He was not going to last long, and it was okay. He kept his rhythm slow and steady and his thrusts were controlled, yet powerful. He knew she liked it that way and he, too, would soon cross the invisible border to the precipice.

Pleasure began to fog everything.

The truth was that she had always been able to get him off just by doing very little, and yet at the same time she was the best lover he had ever been with. There was no competition. There could never be.

“Just like that… Don’t stop…”

“Fucking hell, Lise… I’m about to come…”

He saw her swallow, her eyes rolling back for a moment, her throat exposed as she moaned out loud and he knew that it was time. He couldn’t control himself any longer. When she reached down and grabbed him at the base of his penis, stroked and fondled him, it became too much.

She moaned again.

“Oh my God… There it is… I’m coming with you… Fuck me harder, baby…”

Gritting his teeth, he did.

When they both reached that place with no name and no expiration date, he almost blacked out. He felt as if he would never stop erupting inside her body and every time her strong internal muscles contracted, the pleasure hit him again, like a flame torching him from within.

It took them both a very long time to come down from their high and, even afterward, they stayed connected. One. She kept holding him inside her body and he felt safe, secure, comforted. He felt home.

For long minutes, they just listened to the light rain drumming on the car hood. The SUV windows were fogged up and whatever was outside their little world was hidden, invisible, harmless. The warm, moist air emanating from their bodies had come in contact with the cold glass surface, turning the chill into sparkling droplets of mist. Creating an invisible protective barrier.

Nothing could hurt them. Not anymore.

Michael’s eyes were open when Lisa spoke.

He was still buried inside of her and they were lying on their sides, face to face. Her hand was caressing his sweaty back and he could feel her breath against his chest.

“Baby?”

“Mh…”

She lifted her head and nuzzled his chin with her nose, then kissed his lips.

“Can I ask you something…”

“Sure… go ahead…”

“Suppose tonight, while you slept, a miracle occurred. When you awake tomorrow, what would be the first thing you’d notice that would tell you that your life has suddenly gotten better?”

He exhaled a long, relaxed breath.

“Nothing. Everything is perfect now.”

The End.