Unraveling – Chapter 19

Chapter 19 – The shape of things

Victoria, British Columbia – December 2011

Michael was convinced that creating art was not something he would ever be bored with. He also thought that artistic expression could constantly expand, reaching heights that might have seemed unfathomable only a minute earlier. Virtually, there were no limits to what the mind and the soul could create and achieve.

If his mind went back to only one year ago, he knew for sure that he would have never pictured himself doing what he was doing now. And yet, there he was – having more fun than he could have ever imagined.

Sculpting was a form of art that needed quite a bit of exercise to finally be grasped fully, but he had all the time in the world and had always known how to maximize it. Commitment was the key: once he decided to do something, once his mind was set on a goal, he would put his heart and soul into it, no holds barred. And this experience wasn’t any different.

In the past nine months or so, he had finally understood the exact meaning of one of Michaelangelo’s most famous quotes: “Every block of stone has a statue inside it, and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.”

In Michael’s case, they were blocks of wood or clay, but the bottom line didn’t change. The rule still applied and the Italian genius was right. And once Michael had finally learned the proper technique, he had been able not only to see what was inside those blocks but also to retrieve it, bringing it to the light. He had become capable of making it real and tangible. Just like he had always done with his music and dance.

In the peacefulness of his quiet workplace, the one-story annex to the main mansion that he and Lisa had built the previous spring, he took a minute to put some music on. He opted for some minimal piano piece. The Gymnopédie No. 1 by Erik Satie was so simple in composition and execution, and yet so pleasurable and inspirational to listen to. It would always bring out the most profound thoughts, and once they were floating there, turning them into a physical object became easier.

Yet, he still could not believe this hobby had become some sort of full-time job for him. He had seen the same absolute surprise on Lisa’s face, months earlier, when she had inconspicuously dropped by at his office, finding him relaxed and no longer looking like some deer caught in the headlights.

In fact, Michael had leaned back into his chair, rocking slowly as he took in her presence.

“Hello, beautiful lady. Are you checking on me?”

“Of course…” She had walked over in that sexy way he adored and he had recognized the playful look in her eyes. She was joking. “No, I actually dropped by just to leave you this.”

She had handed him a blueberry muffin in a paper bag, making him smile.

“Sit down, lady. I gotta tell you about my next plan.”

And then he had told her how he had just finished a crucial business meeting with one of his soon-to-be former associates. In fact, Michael had informed Lisa that he had just sold his entire project to a firm and would now use the money for charity. And that he would only focus on his art, whatever the concept would end up meaning. Regardless, he would no longer be a slave to his job.

“Only to your love, baby.”

“You’re such a smooth talker.”

“Well, since you found out about my drawings, I thought it would be best to keep you in the loop.”

“See? That’s an incredibly wise decision.”

She had decided to sit on his desk and cross her beautiful legs a few inches away from him, making him very uninterested in everything work-related all of a sudden. What had happened next had nothing to do with business either.

Michael put on his glasses and approached the basic clay form he had been working on for the past couple of hours. He observed it: it seemed so huge in its metal armature, yet it would shrink in all its substance in the end. The sculpture’s general shape was already there, and now Michael had to bring out all the details by carving, forming, adding sections and texture and finishes.

The moment his hands touched the clay, he exhaled a deep breath and relaxed. He knew exactly what the final result would be. Two forms intertwined, blended together. Two human forms that became one. He planned to add a layer of gloss to the statue right after the curing process, which he had learned was so necessary to protect the piece when it was in its most vulnerable state. It was a good metaphor too. If that statue was supposed to portrait what love meant to him, Michael would make sure that the two lovers were not only entangled, but defended as well.

This was the third sculpture he had been working on since he had become interested in this art form. And that had happened after so much drawing and painting that his fingers had begun to hurt. He planned to keep on working for at least another hour or so, and then he would take a shower and get ready to help Lisa with the party.

Not that she needed his help at all, since she was pretty skilled and independent in that department, but still… Michael loved to be involved and Lisa allowed him to have all that space he needed to feel fulfilled and present in each and every moment. They had indeed managed to find that balance.

As his fingers sunk into the clay and he reveled in the unique feeling of the cool, soft material wrapping itself around his skin, he realized how amazing it was to finally be thinking about the recent past and not being overwhelmed by it in the most emotionally upsetting way. The previous year had been a hard one for sure, but also so revealing in so many different ways.

Of course, the first was that he and Lisa had been able to save their marriage and had recovered from the crisis that had crippled them and almost pushed them to the brink again.

A little over than one year earlier, after coming home from their weekend in North Carolina and unexpectedly finding themselves face to face with Michael’s mistake in flesh and bones, when Christine had shown up at the house, he and Lisa had decided to go back to doctor Plumb. They knew that resuming counseling was crucial to their wellbeing as a couple.

Now, it was finally over. They had gotten to the end of the therapy just recently and it had all gone down in the best way imaginable.

After months strapped on a roller coaster caught between heaven and hell, yes, but hey… You guys did what you had to do. You made it.

Indeed. They had made it, against all the odds.

After their little vacation in the US, Lisa and Michael had gone back to doctor Plumb feeling quite empowered and very motivated. After all, they had been able to stare right in the eyes of their marital crisis. They hadn’t come out of it unscathed, but at least they had found themselves only lightly scarred. They genuinely had thought that they had everything under control and that feeling had made them feel way more inclined to open up during therapy.

Sure as hell, they had not expected the emotional turmoil that being vulnerable for real would entail.

In practical terms, they had hit unexpected and unplanned rough waters more than once, to the point that at least on one occasion they had considered separation. Not divorce, no, never that, but certainly a pause in their marriage. Michael and Lisa had both needed to breathe. They had needed space. Or so they had thought, and then had spoken about it to the therapist.

Doctor Plumb hadn’t looked even mildly surprised, and had told them to do what they thought was best for them. To go ahead and see what would come out of it. Michael still remembered how underwhelming had been to hear her say those words. As if she was dismissing them, or discounting the turbulence that was threatening to pull him and Lisa both underwater. And he knew that Lisa had felt the same way.

That day, they had walked out of the doctor’s study feeling empty, deflated. Defeated. And then, for the next handful of days, Michael had left the house that he shared with Lisa and had moved to a hotel nearby. They had not told the kids what was going on because the future still felt very uncertain at that point in time. Nobody knew what would happen next, and upsetting the children for something that was still very much in progress was not something that neither Michael nor Lisa were willing to do. As far as the little ones knew, their dad was busy in some new business venture, nothing else. Or so he and Lisa had hoped.

His separation from Lisa had lasted five days. Not even a full week.

Then, on a Friday night, he had shown up at the house in the middle of the night, completely sober and obviously unannounced.

Michael had used his key to enter the mansion and had found his wife very much awake and curled up in a little ball on the couch, in the living room. Wearing one of his jackets over her cute little pajama, too. Her eyes were swollen and reddened and she was the most beautiful sight he had seen in the past week. Only, those few days had felt like centuries, because he had barely able to function without her.

“Hey… What are you doing here?”

She had sat up and had sniffled. He knew that he had taken her completely by surprise.

“I wanted to see the kids.”

She had glanced at her watch, squinting her eyes.

“Michael… It’s one in the morning. They’re all asleep.”

Yeah. He knew. He had done it on purpose, because he was not sure he would be able to pretend that everything was fine, had they been awake.

“I know. I just wanted to watch them sleep for a minute.”

She had nodded her head, understanding the implications of his words. And so he had done just that. Quietly, Michael had walked upstairs and had gone from room to room, gently stroking his kids’ hair and kissing their foreheads, without waking them up. God, he missed them so much… And Lisa, too. Way beyond words.

When he had gone back downstairs, she was in the kitchen and had taken off his jacket. She had made herself some tea and was sipping it quietly as she sat at the table. Michael had noticed that she had poured a cup of tea for him too and his heart had squeezed in his chest. He didn’t want to do this anymore. Why had they resorted to this bullshit? It didn’t work. It couldn’t.

Without a word, not to break the quietness that permeated the house, he had just stepped closer to her and had removed the cup of tea from her hands. Lisa had looked up at him and their eyes had met.

Even now, months later, Michael still couldn’t tell what had happened next, exactly. Who had done what, said what, or made the first move. What had made their control snap. Those fleeting seconds had become some kind of a blur, but he remembered that, at one point, he and Lisa were kissing like mad and quickly taking each other’s clothes off. It had been hushed, and sexy, and rushed, and hot and so, so needed.

“God, Mike… What are we doing… You know this isn’t healthy…”

She had spoken in between kisses and while her hands were still busy undressing him. The epitome of coherence.

“No, you’re wrong… It is. It’s what we need. And I know you want it as much as I do… I can feel it…” He had pushed her pajama pants and underwear down her smooth legs. “Take off them panties, baby… God, I missed you… I love you so fucking much it burns… I gotta have you… Right here… Right now…”

At that point, Lisa had stopped protesting. If hers had ever been a protest at all.

They hadn’t even been able to reach a soft surface. They had made love right there and then, on the kitchen table, as if their lives depended on it. Just having her that way had reminded Michael why separating from this woman was never, ever the right choice. Her body clinging to him, her thighs cradling his hips as he entered her liquid heat, their shared breath as they moved together had once again brought them back to life, obliterating everything else. Doubts, fears, uncertainties. And what had started out as some frantic sexual healing had soon turned into a slow, gentle, prolonged lovemaking when he had picked Lisa up and had brought her to their bedroom.

“Don’t ever leave again… I can’t stand to be without you…”

Her words had been a healing balm for him. And of course, he had never left afterward. It had been so relieving to realize that not only divorce wasn’t an option, but that not even separation was on the table any longer.

About a week later, he and Lisa had spoken about what had happened in their next counseling session with Doctor Plumb and, quite inexplicably, the therapist had immediately focused back on their quick vacation in Charleston.

“Were you scared? During the tornado, I mean…”

Michael had been dragged out of the moment. Why was she talking about this, again?

“Well, I was afraid that something might happen to Lisa.”

“And I was scared something could happen to him…” Lisa had touched her forehead. “Especially when he got injured, the only thing I wanted was to fix him. I wished that accident had happened to me instead of Michael.”

He had turned in his seat and had stared at her.

“Lisa, what are you saying? No…”

She had taken his hand, interlaced her fingers with his.

“After all these years… you still don’t get it, do you? What it would do to me if something happened to you. How I would never be the same again… And that’s why…” She had swallowed. “…That’s why it was so easy, and so right, to have you come back home and stay home, that night. I really wanna be with you, Michael.”

“Me too.”

His throat had pretty much closed at that point. Lisa got it, just like he did. They both had understood that, in a way, that unanticipated catastrophic event had ended up being miraculous for their communication.

Doctor Plumb had seemed satisfied with their verbal exchange, but she had also pointed out how what they had experienced was nothing but a small, inconsequential tornado. So little, in fact, that it hadn’t even be considered worthy of its own name.

“You mean metaphorically?”

“No, I mean literally. It was a tiny whirlwind.”

Michael was miffed.

“That doesn’t mean anything. It was still a tornado.”

“It certainly was, but it was also far from a catastrophic natural event. However, I am glad you two seem to finally be on the same page. In fact, I was confident that you and Lisa would know what to do and besides, you weren’t even supposed to be driving to the airport when the tornado hit.”

“Oh, so you knew about it and didn’t tell us anything?”

Lisa too had been far from impressed.

“Putting aside that you could have checked the forecast, things like that are very common in the area. I should know, since I was born there and the house belongs to one of my relatives. Believe me… Nobody in Charleston is bothered by such small tornadoes.”

“OK…”

Michael remembered having hated Plumb’s usual dismissive attitude. However, at that point he had also learned to trust her. After all, she had initially brushed off his and Lisa’s intention to separate as if it was some sort of trivial thing, nothing to be concerned about, and she had been right. In retrospect, he could see that now.

However, the therapist had looked much more serious in her approach when Michael had asked her opinion about undergoing individual therapy – together with couple counseling. That too had happened right after he and Lisa had gotten back home to Canada. When they finally had managed to get rid of Christine for good and he had realized that so many things inside of him were still unresolved. Broken, or so he felt.

Back to the here and now, Michael’s fingers moved on the clay, shaping it slowly. The words that had been spoken that day replayed in his ears like a finely tuned song.

Plumb had quietly listened to him as he told her about his final encounter with Christine, about his inability to truly address her emotions, and above all about his fears while he walked back home to Lisa. Michael had done his best to describe how anxious and upset he had felt, just thinking that his wife might have changed his mind and left him. How those thoughts had pretty much choked him, paralyzed him. And all the conclusions that he had reached afterward.

The doctor had stayed quiet for a few minutes, assessing his reasonings, and then she had told him that, despite understanding his point, she hoped that he and Lisa would consider ending their couple counseling program first.

“So… You don’t think I need individual help?”

Plumb had leaned back in her comfortable chair.

“See, the notion that you have to work on yourself first is outdated. It’s not a good idea to see your own issues as something that you need to go off in private to work on.” She had put her pen back on the table. “Michael… I know that what you went through was extremely traumatizing, but we’re not talking about any serious mental health diagnosis here. The point is not that your relationship with Lisa is struggling because you two have these issues that you can’t handle, but because both you and she did things that resulted in the other person feeling unheard, angry, hurt. So, no, I don’t think that blaming one partner for what’s wrong in the relationship is helpful.”

Lisa had cleared her throat. Glancing over at her, Michael had noticed how shy she looked.

“Can I say something?”

“Sure.”

“I just want you to know that… I agree with you. Michael and I did that for so long… The blaming, I mean. Blaming ourselves and each other for stuff that was happening to us… and around us… even when it wasn’t necessary. Even when it was because of something or someone else. Not us. I know that he needs to feel better and he definitely deserves to heal, but I don’t want to be cut off from this either… It would deny how powerful my bond with him is, if I didn’t help him cope with whatever struggle he’s going through.” She had turned to look at him. “Do you understand that, baby, don’t you?”

“I do… I just thought… you know… that there are things that we bring into our relationship that are bigger than the relationship itself. Like my past traumas. They built such a huge barrier between us and for so long I couldn’t even see it. It has to be fixed. I wanna be fully present in our relationship, all the darn time, in a way that creates closeness… not distance. And I know you want the same thing.”

“Of course I want the same thing, and that’s why I beg you to please let me stay by your side and help me understand exactly what’s going on. And how I can play a role in your healing. Think about it… It’s a win-win situation.”

Lisa was right, and Michael knew it. Besides, he truly didn’t want to go through this alone. While she spoke, he had remembered how hard it had been, even in 1993, to go through his recovery treatment while she was in another continent. How he would desperately cling to the phone just because it was the only way they could talk and she was his lifeline, his safe harbor.

And now, so many years later, she was asking to play that role again.

It had felt like seeing the light at the end of a tunnel. And like an epiphany. Michael had realized how his pain and fears were much more intense when he couldn’t count on the comfort that Lisa’s presence would always encompass. His relationship with her did have healing power. Whenever he and Lisa were solid and trusting, and open in their communication, even their individual coping and resilience would improve. When they were a strong unit, they were also stronger, healthier individuals.

Doctor Plumb’s voice had interrupted his mental flow of consciousness.

“That’s the correct approach. And in this regard, let me remind you that when you two were married the first time, severing that invisible thread that connected you ended up having devastating effects not only on your relationship, but also on your respective psyche. According to what you told me, you allowed way too many people to meddle and create mistrust. That is why I encourage you to consider a different approach, this time.”

And so Michael had complied, and it had worked.

Over a year later, he and Lisa were healthier than they had ever been before, during and after their first marriage. And possibly healthier than they had been since they had gotten married again.

Stepping back from the sculpture, Michael walked to the sink across the room and washed his hands. When he heard the door open, he smiled to himself and didn’t even turn his head. He knew who it was.

Lisa’s arms closed around his torso and her hands caressed his chest in slow, seductive circles.

“You shouldn’t do this when I’m working, you know. I’m all sweaty and dirty.”

“But you still smell so good….”

He giggled.

“God, woman. You’re crazy for real.”

“Well, you need some crazy in your life.”

“Very true… That’s why I married you.”

Drying his hands with a towel, he finally turned and took her in his arms, picking her up slightly and then letting her slide down and against his body as they kissed.

“Don’t say anything. I know it’s getting late… I was just wrapping it up for today.”

“It’s fine. There isn’t much else that needs to be done anyway.” She backed off slightly, her hands on his shoulders, and she arched an eyebrow. “I don’t always need to have you around, you know…”

“Oh yes, you do.” Pulling her close to him again, Michael cupped her ass, making her laugh that throaty laugh that he adored. He kissed her neck. “You want me around all the time… Close to you… On top of you… Inside of you…”

Lisa laughed again and her hand came down and between them, playfully brushing his penis through his jeans and putting him at risk of getting sprung at the most inappropriate time ever. He knew they had stuff to do and that the guests would be there soon, but playing with his wife on a regular basis was too much fun.

“I tell you what… You take care of Logan for a bit while I get all dolled up for the party, and then you do the same. I can’t wait to see you in one of those fabulous outfits of yours. We take care of our guests like the perfect hosts that we are and then, later tonight, I give you some nice visual treat before the real celebrations begin…”

Michael’s eyes narrowed. He was intrigued… and he loved to watch her.

“What visual treat?”

Rising on her tiptoes, she spoke right in his ear.

“Well… I could lie down on the bed and start playing with myself… You can watch me while I’m doing it so you can see how much fun I’m having and I can make sure you’re enjoying it too… I could even help myself reach a climax… All while you’re looking at me. And then I might even allow you to do all the dirty, lurid things you wanna do to me…” She kissed his ear. “Every single little thing you want. How about that, lover boy…”

Her words evoked an immediate reaction in his lower body and he struggled to maintain some semblance of composure. When in fact the only thing he wanted was to be really, really bad. He cleared his throat.

“How about you don’t go all the way on your own… and show your man when he should join you and help you reach there…”

Lisa smiled.

“Mh… sounds even better.” She stepped back and broke the physical contact. “Well then, I’ll see you at the party, mister. By the way, our very chatty and very exhausting baby boy is in the playground with Letitia and your sisters, but I know he loves it when his daddy helps him out with those sandcastles.”

“Darn, all my sisters are there too? Let me go check on them, then… I bet Toya is making Letitia’s ears bleed already.”

She laughed. Yeah, she was definitely in a good mood.

“Be good…”

Michael smiled. He had spent some productive hours in his art studio, was going to play with his youngest son, take care of a celebration and finally get treated with some visual extravaganza involving the absolute beauty standing in front of him.

This Saturday would indeed be a day to remember. In fact, it already was.

“Girlfriend… Michael looks like the kind of man who can’t keep his hands off you.”

“What are you talking about? He’s perfectly behaved.”

Alecia giggled and sipped her champagne before lightly nudging Lisa.

“Oh yeah. Of course. The King is definitely used to be in public and looks as cool as a cucumber. But I see the glances he throws at you when he thinks nobody’s watching. And believe me, they’re far from innocent.”

Lisa laughed. Leish was right and as usual her observational skills were spot-on. She was glad that her friend had made it to the party, even though it had been quite a last-minute thing. Lisa and Michael wanted to be surrounded by the people that meant something to them, and this certainly wasn’t a huge celebration… But their families, friends and even Priscilla were there.

“As long as he only watches me that way, all is fine.”

“No worries. I’ve been keeping an eye on him all night and the poor guy is totally hooked on you.” Leish’s arm snaked around Lisa’s shoulders, pulling her close affectionately. “By the way, how did you do it? Come on, tell me… What’s the trick? Just in case Carey and I go through the same shit…”

They spun on their heels in perfect sync and started walking toward the couch in the living room, which was packed with people. They sat down on the soft cushions, side by side.

“I really don’t know. At times, even I am surprised that we made it. Last year was really bad. On a couple of instances we were beyond hopeless and neither one of us had the balls to say it out loud.”

“I know, I remember.” Leish turned serious. “And I was very worried. For you and for him. I know how you get when he isn’t around, and even though Michael’s still some sort of plus one for me, I kinda consider him a friend. I don’t want him to suffer either.”

She stared at him for a moment and Lisa followed her gaze. Michael was holding Logan in his arms and all the while was patiently listening to Paris, who was chatting away after deciding that she needed her father’s full attention. Lisa smiled.

“We’re fine. In fact, we are better than we’ve ever been. But let me clear… It’s not that we weren’t good before last year… It’s just… There was obviously some stuff that needed to be sorted out and I’m glad we finally made it.”

“See how happy your kids look? All of them. I watch them and I only see happy, confident, fulfilled children who know they are perfectly safe in their environment. And that’s because their mom and dad work so hard at it, all the time. They do their best to be not only great parents, but also healthy, loving partners.” She sighed. “Be proud of yourselves, guys.”

Lisa didn’t reply, but Alecia’s words, so simple and yet so wise, hit her profoundly. She was right. The house, tonight, embodied the serenity that truly being a family entailed. And all the children, none excluded, were the physical manifestation of Michael and Lisa’s successful path to recovery. Despite their best efforts, the previous year the kids had ended up realizing that something was wrong with their parents – or step-parent – and they had been nervous, upset, sad. If only tangentially, the repercussion of what mom and dad were going through affected them too. Even the little one had been uncharacteristically bratty for a while.

Looking at Logan now, Lisa couldn’t help but notice how he had gone back to his old self. His lively, happy-go-lucky, and yet very polite and disciplined little self. She felt her eyes burn just observing his features, which were a perfect mixture of herself and Michael. From his curly hair to his green eyes, from that constant smile to that innate ability to dance whenever there was music of any sort, their five-year-old was the personification of the best version that his parents could ever be. And she could only hope that he would keep growing as the content, relaxed, confident human being that he was now.

She wanted everyone in her family to be happy. That was what mattered the most to her. Because they were stronger together than they could ever be on their own, and that was the most profound truth she could cling to.

Earlier that night, everyone had been amazed to find out about the next addition to the Jackson-Presley family. Lisa had to admit that even she and Michael had been surprised when the intercountry adoption process had ended up being successful. They had been ready to wait for years, and instead the whole procedure had taken about nine months. They had just recently applied for the kid’s citizenship and, according to the agency that Michael and Lisa had worked with, all would be ready before the end of January. This meant that little Mariam, which was three and was born in Ethiopia, would be home soon.

The mere idea gave Lisa butterflies, and Michael… Well, he was happiness manifested.

So, at the end of the day, Alecia was right. This party was now a celebration of so many things, both from a professional and personal standpoint. And even though the guests only knew about Mariam, it was implicit for Lisa and Michael that what they were honoring was also a brand new page in the book of their lives.

Everything had changed once again, quickly enough to make Lisa’s head spin. Michael had indeed dropped his extensive business commitments and, for the past year, had been putting all his drive into pure art – drawing, painting, sculpting. And my goodness, was he great at it. At one point, he had even told Lisa how he had never thought that taking care of his own art alone without anyone around handling his business could be so satisfying.

She couldn’t blame him: it was the natural consequence for someone who had been in the spotlight since the age of five, constantly observed by millions of people. It was time for Michael to do something by himself and for himself, at least in Lisa’s opinion.

To think about how it all had started one night, by pure chance, still seemed unreal. How a tiny little moment, a trivial event, could turn into something so focal and essential.

That night, Lisa had woken up and had found Michael sitting in the armchair next to the bed. He had been drawing while she slept, after making love to her. As she stared at him quietly, she had remembered that she hadn’t seen him do anything of that sort in a very long time. Years, maybe. The only recollection she had of him drawing was from before they had gotten married for the first time. Glancing over, she had recognized the subject on the sketchpad.

“You don’t think you should ask permission before doing that, huh…”

“No, why should I?” He had given her one of those bright smiles that she had always lived for. “When you’re asleep, you’re asleep. And you’re so beautiful… How could I not draw you…”

She had rolled over in bed, just to get closer to him, and had noticed the folder on the floor, next to the armchair.

“What is that?”

Looking down, Michael had shrugged as his pencil kept moving on the sheet slowly.

“Nothing. Just my other drawings.”

That was how she had found out that he had been doing that thing for quite some time, utterly unbeknown to her. She had never seen the folder or what it contained before and, after some insistence, he had finally allowed her to flip through the pages.

Lisa had been at a loss for words.

Not only he had drawn countless times in the recent past, but he absolutely excelled at it just like he had always done. In fact, it almost looked as if he had become even better, which was far from surprising, given how much commitment Michael put in everything he did. Still, what had amazed her was the feeling that visual arts had become a little more than a fleeting hobby for her husband.

In those drawings, there was something that reminded her of the pure magic that Michael would always emanate whenever he danced. The subjects too were interesting: the house where they lived now and Neverland, little details from rooms that she identified as part of Hidden Hills and big, detailed depictions of some of his favorite trees at the ranch. But mostly, portraits of people that he loved. The kids, all of them. His mother, even Joseph. A drawing pictured what looked like a ten-year-old version of Janet.

And then… there was Lisa. Lisa sleeping naked in the sheets, her long hair like waves on the pillows. Details of her face and body. Lisa smiling and looking pensive… or sad. Depicted in moments of her life over a span of decades, in circumstances that she couldn’t even recollect. In those sketches, some painfully detailed, some looking like nothing but minimalistic doodles, Michael had been tracing the shape of things. Things coming from his past and somehow still living in his present, but also things that he wished would be still there in his future.

He only needed graphite pencils, pastels, charcoal sticks and ink to do that. Michael was magical because he needed very little to create so much. It had always been that way and Lisa had found herself misty-eyed.

“Are you crying?”

She had sniffled.

“Yeah. It’s just… overwhelming.”

“It’s nothing, Lise… It’s just…”

“It’s you. How can it be nothing?”

He had just watched her, his eyes soft.

There was so much love there. It had become a staple in their relationship, all the time, it didn’t matter how hard it was to carry on some days. She knew that their expressions of devotion never stopped once sex began or ended. They were always there and continued throughout, caught in an eternal cycle. Even when things seemed to be bad on some days, Michael and Lisa would always tell each other how much in love they were. Of course, when it happened during their lovemaking every word always managed to make everything feel even more intense, but the feeling that she had experienced seeing his art wasn’t half bad either.

When she had asked him why he had never told her about it, Michael had gotten shy. Eventually, he had replied that he had never deemed those drawings important, especially given how much they reminded him of his old life. Of something that he felt was no longer part of who he was.

“Every single thing you do is part of you. The good and the bad. And I don’t know how you manage to do it… but it’s always beautiful. Damn you, Mike…”

He had smiled. She knew that her silly words were the most endearing thing to him. Then he had kissed her, and they had made love again.

It had been another one of those serendipitous moments that had ended up changing everything once again.

In the following weeks, Michael had started to truly put himself to the test. Within days, he had become fully committed to visual arts. Drawings, yes, but also paintings and – later – sculptures. Lisa had never failed to remind him how magnificent he was at all that, and had offered her unconditional support.

In the end, it had turned out that she wasn’t the only one having that opinion, given that Michael’s first exhibit was set to begin in a few weeks, right after New Year’s celebrations. And if it ended up being successful, something Lisa had no doubts about, a tour between several different famous art galleries in the world would likely follow. Paris, London, Milan, New York, Los Angeles, Madrid, Munich.

A small, private preview had already been held in Toronto and Lisa remembered Michael being more nervous than she had seen him in years. He was worried that the press would relentlessly attack him and, in all frankness, she could not blame him.

They had been both wrong. His work had been widely appreciated and described as some of the most interesting art pieces currently on display.

The world was once again about to enter the pure magic that Michael was. Only, it would be in a different form and hopefully, this time he would be protected and sheltered by a much safer environment. And if someone tried to take advantage of him again, Lisa would bite their head off, chew it and then spit it out.

Because having Michael, loving him and being loved by him was breathtaking, but protecting his happiness mattered even more.