Mister Nobody – Part 19 | Love, love is a verb, love is a doing word

Los Angeles, January 1993

Her heart racing in her chest, Lisa pulled over and turned the engine off, resting her forehead against the wheel.

What the fuck was she doing? Why wasn’t she at home, trying to work things out with Danny?

Because there’s nothing to work out anymore. It’s over. It has been over for a long time now, and you gotta accept it and move on. The shouting matches about every single subject will no longer do.

Why? Why had she accepted to go to Brett’s house knowing well that Michael would be there, too? What the hell was she trying to prove? That seeing him wouldn’t affect her at all? Well, in that case, the joke had been on her because, since that night, several weeks earlier, she had not been able to erase Michael from her mind. She should have just sent him the damn demo tape with her songs.

After their first and last passionate night together, that had left both confused and flustered, they had been pretty good at avoiding each other for more than two years – well, more or less. They had only spoken over the phone, now and then – long, heartfelt conversations where they both had always done their best to keep things on a friendly level.

Until a year after their sexcapade. At the MTV Video Music Awards, there had been that awkward moment after Michael’s amazing, spectacular performance when he and Lisa had bumped into each other in the backstage. She remembered his eyes: surprised at first, then inquisitive, finally captivating. But Danny was there too, and the only thing she and Michael had done was say hi to each other in a very awkward, inconspicuous way. When everything they wanted to do was saying so much more. Possibly in private. And certainly without her husband.

Meeting at Brett’s, the previous November, had been the last nail in the coffin and that was the reason why Lisa was now driving over to the Lindbrook – Michael’s condo. He called it his “hideout,” a place where he could just hole up and relax when he needed some privacy. The idea of she and Michael alone in his apartment was extremely dangerous, given the situation. Given the fact that at Brett’s, after having behaved practically all night – except for some innocent flirting  – they had ended up making out like teenagers against Lisa’s car.

While she said goodnight to the other guests, Michael, the usual gentleman, had offered to walk her to her car, and she had agreed without hesitation.

Of course. Seeing him again had that effect on her. Hearing him talk in his normal, deep voice, joking and even cursing now and then, had dragged her back into his spell one more time. And so easily. Memories of what had happened at Neverland in 1990, of that one-night-stand they had been so good at pretending they had forgotten, had flashed before her eyes and she was pretty sure had been in his mind, too. The couple of whiskeys they had sipped together hadn’t helped either. Tipsiness had lowered her inhibitions and she had said yes.

Sure, Michael, you can walk me to my car. Why not? I’m not going to tell you how many times I’ve thought about you, in the last two years. How many times I’ve woken up flustered after dreaming of having you on top of me, in me. How many times over the phone I’ve wanted to tell you so much more about how I feel.

At that point of the night, she was there alone. Danny had been gone for a couple of hours after having accompanied her at Brett’s. The truth was that she and her husband didn’t like to spend any time together anymore. Not even the birth of Benjamin had been able to fix things – but that made sense, after all. Kids couldn’t fix a couple that was not functioning. Lisa was unhappy, and she had sunk into some sort of resignation – once again forgetting all about intensity. Mother and the church had contributed dramatically in turning the once rebel girl into their version of a wholesome young woman. She had been programmed well. On the other hand, she had done her best to repress her memories of Michael and their night together, to the point that sometimes they almost felt like a dream.

That perfectly constructed dream had been shattered when she had found herself face to face with him again, during a mundane and yet intimate event at one of their common acquaintances’ house. The memories had come back in full force, slapping her right in the face. And, judging by the look in Michael’s eyes, he hadn’t forgotten either. But that didn’t mean anything. Michael freaking Jackson surely wasn’t pining over her. Apart from her name, Lisa didn’t think she had anything exciting to offer. She probably had just been a good lay, a distant memory in his restless mind and in his bed.

However, at one point during the night Michael had warned her – he had lowered his head and whispered something in her ear with a voice that betrayed his slight tipsiness.

“You and me, we can get into a lot of trouble… Think about that, girl.”

Oh, she was thinking about that alright. She knew that Michael had been kind enough to listen to her songs and had probably even been honest when he had said that he liked them, that she had something to say when it came to music. She should have just left it at that. He was a professional, and his words didn’t mean squat on a personal level. And she was almost going to do the right thing – the thing any good girl would do: leaving. Until he had whispered those words.

“You and me, we can get into a lot of trouble.”

You and me.

They had walked to her car quietly, side by side. After a few seconds, Michael’s cocky mask had dropped. Another persona was being pushed back into the magician’s hat, and the real man was emerging. The sudden metamorphosis startled her.

“I am happy to see you… finally.” His voice was gentle and Lisa had turned to look at him. There he was. The man she had spent the night with, at the ranch. The one she loved to speak to, over the phone. The shy and yet passionate guy who had taken her breath away, bringing her to heights she didn’t even think existed in real life. Eyes soulful, bashful smile. That gentleness, the rawest, most disarmed one he only rarely showed to people.

“I am glad to see you, too.” Lisa had crossed her arms over her chest, shivering in the cold air of the night. “You look… great.”

Michael had smirked.

“…Not sure about that. But you look amazing.”

Lisa had scoffed, shaking her head.

“No, Michael. I really don’t. I just had a baby, and I look like a killer whale. I am not even planning to go to the beach until I manage to shed some pounds. Sea Shepherd might send a team to rescue me.”

He had giggled.

“You’re silly.”

“Yeah, well… A couple of hours with you and I’m already learning from the best.”

“No, but seriously. You look beautiful, Lise. You’ve always been nothing but breathtaking, to me… you know that.”

They were standing by the car, the darkness surrounding them almost entirely.

Lisa had rested her back against the passenger door, Michael’s words shaking her to the core. How could he do that? How could he change every perspective she had ever had just by tossing out a couple of words?

“Well, then… thank you, Michael. And thanks for listening to my songs… it means a lot to me.”

He had stepped closer, almost entering her personal space. Almost.

“They are good. I love your voice. It’s so deep and expressive. And I think you have a real talent as a songwriter.”

She could see his eyes in the dim light of the road. They were black pools promising the most heavenly emotions.

“Glad to know I’m still able to impress you.” As soon as she said the words, she bit her tongue. No… This was wrong. They were not going to go down that road.

Before she could say something else she would later regret, she motioned to walk around the car. It was time to leave. She didn’t like being uncomfortable in her own skin. Above all, she didn’t know how to react to that sudden feeling of being pulled out from inside.

“I gotta get going… Good night, Michael.”

Before she could even turn, his hand had closed on her wrist and he had pulled her against his body, gently but firmly. Lisa had collided with his torso and, instinctively, her other hand had come up, resting on his chest. His heart felt like it was beating right against her palm and she had looked up at him. Michael’s face was calm, but inside he was a mess. Just like she was.

“Come to my condo. We’ll talk more.” Biting his lip, he had stared at her for a moment, his eyes prying, tempting.

The scent of his skin, so unique and intoxicating, had made her head spin. She had tried her hardest to fight against what felt more and more vital and inevitable.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea… What about Danny?”

“I don’t have anything to say to him. He can stay home… But I wanna see you.”

Lisa had snorted. What else could she do?

“You truly are something.”

“Come visit me at my condo… I’ll be home until the end of the month, and then I gotta leave again…”

“For your tour, I know.”

“And if you can’t, right now, it’s OK. I understand…. You know, with the baby and all. But I’ll be back in January, and I’ll be waiting for you.”

“Oh, you’ll be waiting for me, huh?” She hoped her mocking expression could deter him. It didn’t.

“Yeah.”

She hadn’t even realized she had intertwined her fingers with his. The same gesture that, two years earlier, had ignited the bushfire.

“I don’t know, Michael. I am not sure it’s safe for us to be… you know, alone.”

He had cocked his head to a side and had smiled that blinding smile of his.

“Come on, Lise… What do you think could happen?”

Her eyebrows had sprung up.

“Dude, are you shitting me?”.

He had laughed, rolling his eyes.

“You’re right… This, might happen…”

Without any warning, he had bent his head and kissed her.

It had felt new. It had felt ancient. It had felt real and right. Lisa had acted on pure instinct and reciprocated his kiss immediately, parting her lips and letting his tongue stroke and caress her. It had not been tentative or awkward in the least – during their one night together, they had kissed hundreds of times, explored each other’s body repeatedly and thoroughly and the memories she believed to be well-stored in some inaccessible part of her memory were now resurfacing without the slightest effort. A touch, a kiss and it was as if they had never stopped.

Michael had backed off slightly and showered her face with light pecks. All the while, he had drawn her in closer, holding her in his arms.

“The right time is right, now, Lise… I can feel it.” His breath was labored. “…Can’t you?”

She could. Pressed against his body, she also felt something else. Her hands tingled from the desire of touching him all over, of holding him close to her body and her heart. Not before, nor after Michael she had ever experienced a sexual desire or pleasure that could be compared to the way he made her feel. And such an intense emotional connection.

Theirs was a pure, chemical reaction.

She had swallowed and then had just surrendered to the pull once again, grabbing him by the front of his shirt and capturing his lips one more time in a frenzied, uncontrollable kiss. She had closed her eyes, feeling his fingers rake through her hair.

“I don’t know, Michael…” She had whispered in between kisses, her body trapped between his solid torso and the cold surface of her car. “I need to think about it… There are things I have to do, first… things I need to understand.”

“OK…” He too had spoken right against her lips. “I trust your instinct, Lise… I know you’ll make the right choice.”

And well, he had probably been wrong about that. Because the right choice was to make a U-turn and go back home, to Danny. And try once again, for the millionth time, to work on a marriage that had been in a cardiac arrest from the very beginning. A marriage that was over.

Lisa had fought the urge to see Michael for as long as possible. Considering how she felt at the mere idea of seeing him again, she was quite proud of herself. They had spoken over the phone on Christmas, wished each other a happy new year on New Year’s Eve, and that had been pretty much it. Until he had called her at the and of the Asian leg of his tour.

“I’m home, Lise. I wanna see you. Come to the Hideout.” His voice gentle, but firm.

Eventually she had relented, thinking that maybe she just needed to get him out of her system, because perhaps she had just inflated her memories with more pathos than they held. Sometimes, a good reality check was all she needed to rattle her brains back to sanity.

Come on… Who was she fooling? She was dying to see him.

Sighing, Lisa turned on the engine and decided just to follow her instinct.

Michael opened the door even before she could knock on it and they stared at each other for a moment, neither of the two really knowing what to say.

He looked at her, and his stomach fluttered with thousands of butterflies. She was so gorgeous… While he, his face stubbly and his white t-shirt crumpled, was certainly not at his best. But she had called him right before leaving her house, telling him she was coming over, only giving him the time to take a quick shower. Unpredictable Lisa.

For days after their encounter at Brett’s, Michael had been stuck in a stupor, sure to have destroyed every chance he had with her. Maybe he had just been too aggressive, kissing her like that, acting so cocky and confident. What was he, fifteen? But he had a bit of liquid courage, and that had rendered him a little more assertive than he usually was. Yeah, probably he had scared her away, and now she thought he was weird and creepy and he would never see her again. He hadn’t dared touch the subject over the phone. Too embarrassing.

Well, facing her now, he had never been so ecstatic to be wrong about something. The way she was looking at him told him that things weren’t so bad after all. She seemed… relieved. And happy to see him.

“Lise, girl, first of all, let me get this outta my chest. Let me tell ya how sorry I am I was so aggressive at Brett’s. I mean, I had the chance to think about it and it just ain’t who I am, I should have…”

“Shut up, Mike…” She shook her head in frustration and walked straight into his arms. She held him in a tight embrace and her head rested on his chest. He exhaled, pushing the door closed, reaching over and locking it behind her shoulders, all the while closing his arms around her, just holding her tight.

When she pulled back and looked up at him, he knew what was going to happen. The ancient chant was humming in the pit of his soul again, vibrating in his cells. He was exactly where he wanted to be: in her arms.

Lisa caressed his stubbly cheek and tilted her head up, finally wrapping her fingers around the back of his neck and gently pulling him down, toward her lips.

Michael closed his eyes and felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders.

They kissed, very gently, and it was magical. He inhaled her amazing scent and it felt familiar and tantalizing. His nerves and synapses stirred and his hands roamed over her back, trying to take her all in, her very presence still too unreal to fully register in his mind. When he felt tears wetting his cheeks, he realized that she was crying.

He pulled back and watched her intently, from one eye to the other.

“Lise… what’s going on? Why you crying? What’s the matter?”

She just kept staring at him, her hands cradling his head, her fingers in his hair. Her thumbs smoothed down his long sideburns, and she pursed her lips, then rested her face against his chest again. Quietly, Michael hugged her, his chin resting on the top of her head. He was confused.

“I want a divorce.” She murmured, and her voice broke.

Oh. Sad. 

What the fuck was he kidding… It was amazing news.

“Already? Isn’t it a bit premature? We haven’t even gotten married yet.”

She chuckled in between the tears.

“Gosh… You’re such a… dork.”

Michael backed off again, keeping her at arm’s length and gave her a crooked grin. It came out a bit sadder than he intended but hey, at least he had lightened the mood. Sort of…

“Yeah, I know. So, you guys are no longer together? Is that what you had to do? For real, girl?”

Her blue eyes were bright and deep. Honest.

“For real.”

He turned serious and placed his hands on her shoulders.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t love Danny. And I can’t be with him anymore.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you… in love with someone else?”

Lisa swallowed and chewed on her bottom lip, her gaze lowering.

“Maybe…” She admitted, in a whisper. “But that’s not the point. I’ve realized that I can’t stay married to someone I love but I’m not in love with. I won’t do it any longer.”

“What about the guy?” Michael’s heart threatened to burst out of his chest, yet his voice remained calm. Oh yeah. Years and years of practicing had turned him into the perfect performer. The greatest pretender.

“What about him?” Lisa kept her eyes down.

“Does he know?”

“That I want to divorce?” She rubbed her forehead and moved a step back, leaning against the wall by the door. “Yeah… I told him. He didn’t take it well… but we’re separated now.”

He loved how quick-witted she was. How she was trying to snow him pretending she didn’t know he wasn’t talking about Danny. Who the fuck cared about Danny.

“No, I mean… the guy you’re in love with…” A tragic suspicion suddenly crept into his mind. Was Lisa in love with someone… else? Was she talking about another man, and not him? Had he taken her for granted?

Her eyebrows sprung up.

“Oh, him…”

“Does he know? About your feelings, that is…” Still that calm voice and he wondered how he managed to pull it out.

She hesitated, just for a second.

“I didn’t say I’m in love with him. I said maybe.”

Michael frowned and closed his mouth.

“Anyway… well, I don’t know if he knows, and I’m not even sure he cares.” She sighed. “Michael, this conversation is crazy. Maybe I shouldn’t have come.”

“What?” He reacted as if she had slapped him in the face. The whole thing was getting absurd, indeed. Miscommunication to the nth degree.

“Yeah… I’m sorry, I am just not as clear-headed as I thought, I better go.”

She spun on her heels and reached for the door handle, and he just didn’t let her. Immediately, he moved a step in her direction and placed his hands on her waist, his chest slightly brushing her back, his face only an inch away from her hair. She stilled her movements, and he closed his eyes feeling her shiver under his touch.

“Maybe you should just tell him, you know?” He said quietly, then paused for a moment. “And if it’s another guy you’re talking about… if it’s not me, you may have feelings for… then… yeah, Lise, then it’s best if you just leave. At least for now.”

She placed her hand on the cold surface of the door as if she needed to steady herself.

“It’s you… Of course, it’s you, Mike. I think I’m falling in love with you, OK? And I’m scared shitless. But don’t worry… I am not here to make any demands. Danny and I are separating because it’s the right thing to do, regardless of what happens between you and me… If anything will happen at all. I don’t want Danny to get stuck with a woman who’s not in love with him… And I can’t stay with someone if I’m constantly thinking about another man.”

Michael stood still, the shock too intense and unexpected to allow him even to move a muscle. This didn’t feel real at all. How many times had he hoped to hear her say those words? How many nights had he dreamed of seeing her drive back to the ranch after their night together, and just try to make something real out of it? Something more than a fuck, or a memory to be forgotten.

Lisa’s head dropped and she let out a shaky sigh. What a fool she had been. Once again, the joke was on her. Apparently, he only wanted her to admit that he was the one. But he had nothing to say about it. Not a single word.

“OK… Your silence speaks volumes. Please… Let me go. Goodbye, Michael.”

She didn’t even have the time to reach for the door handle.

He just turned her around like a ragdoll and pulled her into him, kissing her hard and strong, hoping to be able to communicate everything his silence was lacking through that kiss. It was not that he didn’t want to talk to her. He just couldn’t. His brain felt frozen.

Michael felt her stiffen for a moment, her hands automatically pushing against his chest as she tried to pull back from him. Then she melted, and her arms came around his neck as she angled her head, fully reciprocating his kiss. It was different this time – it was deep and passionate and slow and conveyed so many emotions that they both stumbled and her back ended up against the wall once again.

“Haven’t you heard me, Lise?” He kissed her again. “When I said you could leave if you weren’t talking about me?” Another intoxicating kiss, her cool hands on his face, as if she was proving to herself that he was really there. “Gosh, girl, you gotta listen more.”

She just shook her head, breathlessly, then pulled him down to her mouth one more time. And then, just like that, it happened again.

Their second first time was very different from their very first time. There was no embarrassment, no fear to be rejected, no doubts, no hesitations. Blindly, still wrapped in each other’s arms and kissing, they stumbled across the apartment and somehow managed to reach Michael’s bedroom, bumping into walls and furniture along the way. And yet never such a crooked, unstable dance had felt more perfect.

Lisa found herself lying on her back, on the bed, his body on top of her, and his weight felt amazing, the feel of his muscles under her fingertips like the topography of a newly found island. Her island. The island where she wanted to be stranded… forever.

They were not frantic or in a hurry, but they were passionate and intense. Pent-up desire and longing seemed to guide their movements, their fingers getting rid of garments and exploring naked skin. Over two years without touching each other suddenly felt like an eternity and, at the same time, as fleeting and unimportant as background noise.

On the other hand, what Michael felt extremely real was Lisa’s tongue in his mouth and her warm hands framing his face. His eyes closed, he remembered how frustrated he had felt that night at Brett’s after she had driven off. He had stayed there in the darkness for a few minutes, waiting for his raging hard-on to subside before going back to the house and trying to make sense of what had just happened.

He now felt that every piece of the puzzle was finally falling into place. Having her there, in his arms, kissing him as if her life depended on it, made his heart soar to a place that was still almost foreign to him, and yet so warm and welcoming. And her words – she had said she thought she was falling in love with him!

Wait!

What an ass he was! He had said nothing in return! 

He pulled back abruptly and his eyes struggled to focus on Lisa’s face. Her breath was labored, her skin flushed, and those sultry lips were parted, gleaming and waiting to be kissed again.

“Lise…”

“Yeah…”

Her voice barely a whisper, her fingers immediately raking through his hair, with the softest, most loving touch. Those blue eyes hooded, the long eyelashes. His heart soared some more, and he felt tears threatening to spill.

“You really feel you’re… falling in love with me?”

Now her eyebrows scrunched a little. A hint of fear in her eyes – she was disarmed. Vulnerable. And he knew that she didn’t like to feel like that. She had always needed her strong armor to carry on, since she had never recovered from the trauma caused by the death of her father.

He bent his head and pressed his lips to hers, inhaling her scent, and then softly kissing her some more.

“…Are you?” He asked again.

She glanced up at him and studied his dark eyes. They were open, exposed. They were eyes that could not be escaped. She swallowed.

“Yes,” she admitted, her voice faltering.

Michael blinked, then his features distended in one of those beautiful smiles that had contributed so much to her fall from grace. Oh, she was fucked alright. There was no way she could avoid falling in love with him. As a matter of fact, it had already happened. Her last defense was to pretend it was still just a risk, while she knew losing herself to him would be inevitable.

“I am falling in love with you, too,” he replied instead, just looking at her with those honest eyes, and taking her completely by surprise.

Lisa could only chuckle and sob at the same time before pulling him down to her mouth again.

They found themselves in the sheets, skin against skin. This time, he didn’t ask her to turn out the light and Lisa didn’t feel the need to hide under the sheets, worried about the few pounds she hadn’t managed to shed, yet. In fact, the dim light in the room allowed them to look at each other and live the moment in its complete intensity. It was their moment, and it was the right time.

Her arms pinned above her head, her fingers interlaced with Michael’s as he moved into her with deep, hard, slow strokes, delighting her with his little sobs and moans, Lisa realized that her life would never be the same again. This was it. She would have to go home eventually, she had her babies to take care of, but this time she knew she would be back soon. Back to Michael, where she wanted to be. Where she needed to be, and where her heart already was.

“You’re so beautiful Lise… so perfect…” He panted, invading her body and her soul. “I’m crazy for you.”

“Fuck… Baby, you feel so good… so good.” She gripped his fingers harder and lifted her head, kissing and licking the moist skin of his neck. He moaned in return and she rested her head back on the pillow to take a good look at him.

His hair damp and messy, loosely tied in a ponytail, rebel curls falling in front of his flushed, sweaty face, his features a mixture of agony and intense delight, he was the most handsome man she had ever seen in her entire life.

She felt him vibrating and hardening even more inside of her, his impressive manhood stretching her almost to the point of pain and touching her everywhere, and the intense heat sprung again at the base of her head and down to her core. She was there with him after he had rocked her body again and again, orgasm after orgasm. Who was this man? What was he doing to her?

“Shit… Oh… fucking hell…” Michael gritted his teeth and let go of her hands, pushing both his palms into the mattress and lifting his torso, needing more leverage. “I’m gonna come, baby… Oh shit…”

“God… oh god… oh god…” Lisa could only moan, grabbing his ass and pulling him into her as he surged forward and thrust into her body forcefully, shattering her and turning her into dust.

Then, the sizzling white haze consumed them both.

Lisa exhaled a long, deep breath and rotated her hips carefully, watching Michael close his eyes in blissful agony. She let out a faint smile and rested her hands on his strong, broad shoulders, keeping her movements slow but entrapping him into her body to the hilt, squeezing him with her strong muscles. Controlling herself was so hard, as each and every cell on her body pulsed and thudded.

They were still sitting on the couch and she was in his lap, and the remembrance of what had happened at the Hideout so many years earlier had generated some interesting reenactment of those events. With the obvious vantage point given by their respective experience and perfect knowledge of the other’s body. Plus, an increased passion that defeated time and space. Now, every time felt like the first time, and their mature lovemaking was soul-shattering in its intensity.

“Stay…” Lisa managed to say the words in the most measured way she could. “Don’t move yet…” It was a chore, really. She was hovering on the verge of her umpteenth climax, and she knew she would go off any second now.

His arms spread and resting on the backrest of the couch, almost in a crucified position, Michael let his head fall back, and she kissed his sweaty neck, licking his skin and reaching his earlobe.

“Shit,” he cursed under his breath, his hips pushing up almost involuntarily, making her gasp and flinch.

“Bad boy… You’re such a big, bad boy…” She bit down on his shoulder. “I said stay…”

He grinned, his eyes still closed.

They were both still half-dressed. His shirt was opened on his naked chest, his pants were also unbuttoned and unzipped, slightly pushed down on his hips to give him more space to maneuver himself into Lisa’s body.

She was still wearing her dress but Michael had pulled the top part down, freeing her breasts, and pushed the fabric up to uncover her strong, beautiful thighs.

They had not been able to reach their bedroom, the urgency too extreme to be avoided or ignored.

And so there they were, Lisa sitting astride him, keeping him safe and snuggled inside her tight warmth, clutching him so hard that he thought he would pass out for lack of oxygen to the brain.

“And you are one bossy little lady…” He spoke in a raspy, husky voice and lifted his head, staring at her through half-closed eyes.

Still moving over his body, her breath uneven, she held his gaze and saw him. On his more mature face she saw the appearance of the young man she had fallen in love with, so long ago. In those sexy as fuck, handsome features and in those eyes she saw all the reasons why she still loved him so much. Every layer of skin shielding those feelings had been destroyed. They were all there, bared and exposed. She had always loved him so much. And even more so now.

And she didn’t want to leave him.

“Yes… I am one bossy little lady who’s gonna miss you desperately…” She caressed his chest, feeling his strong heartbeat under the palm of her hand. Oh, how she loved to listen to his beautiful heart. She didn’t take anything for granted now. Not anymore.

Michael’s eyes couldn’t hide the pain. He pulled her in by the back of her head and kissed her in a long, stirring kiss. A kiss full of longing and love.

“I don’t want you to go…” The words were whispered against her lips. All the while, his hands slid down her back, cupping her ass and he slightly lifted her body off him, looking for more space to thrust into her. Lisa winced, one hand gripping his sweaty hair on the back of his head, the other grabbing his shoulder.

“And I don’t want to leave you…” She murmured and then moaned, loudly, as he filled her completely with one well-delivered thrust. “Fuck, Mike…I don’t want you to be on your own… all alone.” Her hands raked through his sweaty hair, smoothing down his curls lovingly.

His breath became ragged as his movements picked up speed.

“Remember when I said that distance makes the heart grow fonder?”

He watched her as she opened her eyes for a second and looked back at him, the memory flashing like a comet and reflecting on her face. Oh, she remembered alright. It had been a sore spot throughout their marriage.

“Yeah…”

“Well…” He gritted his teeth for and thrust into her again, making her shake and gasp one more time. “I found out that it’s utter bullshit… I don’t wanna be without you ever again.”

Lisa chuckled, breathlessly, her forehead resting against his.

“Good… Since I plan to come back to you as soon as I can…”

“Will you be OK?”

His voice strained, he leaned in and kissed her breasts. She shivered and held his head there, where she wanted him. She glanced up at the ceiling and blinked her eyelids. She felt like crying. She felt completely overwhelmed.

“Fuck no… I’ll miss you badly, Mike… I’m gonna miss you so fucking much.”. She moved his head and sought his lips again, sliding her tongue into his mouth, stroking him, caressing him. “But I’ll be a good girl, I promise.”

“And you’ll come back to me.” He stilled his movements for a second and their eyes locked.

“And I’ll come back to you. Always. Cross my heart.”

She smiled, but couldn’t avoid that lost expression in her eyes again. Fear. Worry. Powerless desperation. He too noticed it.

Unable to look at him any longer, Lisa gently placed her hands on his eyes, and he closed them, sighing. Then he felt her lips over his and kissed her again.

“Lise… Lise, look at me, baby.”

Her hands moved from his eyes and rested on his cheeks.

“I do love you.”

She watched him, from one eye to the other.

“I love you, too.”

“And I’ll be waiting for you.”

“Good. You do that, Mike… You wait for me, ‘kay?” Repressing her own desperation, she managed to give him another soothing, comforting smile and her hips rotated on him, pushing down on his body with more force now, making him jump and jolt forward.

“There you go, baby…” Lisa’s breath quickened, feeling him swell even more inside her body, touch every nerve, every spot in her. “I feel you… there you go… God, you’re so amazing.”

She pushed down again, clenching her muscles on him and he moaned.

“Fucking shit… Oh, damn it…”

He couldn’t hold off any longer.

“Come on, baby… come with me. I’m right there with you… And I need to let it go… Let me feel you… Let me have it…”

She rose on her knees slightly, holding him inside, and he immediately grabbed her ass, pushing his hips up with hard and deep jabs that made her whimper out loud.

“Damn… oh damn… Shit!” He growled in between clenched teeth the moment she started to come and trapped him in her tight vise. Without even realizing it, he started to shake and finally released into her violently – stardust exploding in his soul, running through his veins, blinding his sight.

He closed his arms around her, rocking her, holding her tight, not wanting to let her go. Their bodies still trembling in the aftershock of their shared, mind shattering orgasm, they both kept silently wondering how they were going to survive two months apart.

Chapter song