Mister Nobody – Part 5 | I put a spell on you

Lisa’s lips brushed against Murphy’s ever so slightly. It was a feather-like contact, and yet she thought she would pass out. Her fingers still clasping his hair, brushing the nape of his neck, she gently pulled him closer once again, trying to fill the imperceptible gap separating them. Needing to kiss him more than she ever remembered having needed to kiss a man in a very, very long time. Seven years, to be precise.

His neck stiffened, and he desperately tried to oppose a silent resistance to something that was, all in all, unavoidable. Lisa didn’t relent. With the bit of rationale she had left in what felt like a purely instinctual moment, she noticed that his hands had slid down, reaching the small of her back, resting there. Holding her firmly.

She was nothing but a bundle of nerves, skinless, exposed and completely bare. Every inch of her being felt the pressure of his body against hers.

His body. So foreign, and yet so eerily familiar.

Her ability to think became weaker and weaker. The sane voice in her mind told her that it was time for her to stop, that she didn’t need to be rejected again. That her heart had already betrayed her one too many times in her life. Lisa tried to listen, but couldn’t. There was another part of her, way more ancient, profound and fearless, urging her to keep going – it didn’t matter what would happen next. She needed to know. And now it was time to know.

“Kiss me…”

The words were breathed out against his lips.

He let out a soft, painful moan and his fingers gripped the fabric of her dress, pulling her back slightly, no longer allowing her torso to touch him. Her hands moved to his face, framing it, her thumbs tracing the shape of his jawline. She tilted her head back and opened her eyes.

Her eyelids felt heavy when she looked at him.

“Why won’t you kiss me?”

She studied his face and didn’t know what to do with the sorrowful look she found. Behind the blueish lenses of his glasses, Murphy’s eyes were pained.

“Lisa Marie… I…” Without breaking eye contact, his hand came up and covered hers, removing it from his face and pressing it against his chest instead, over his racing heart. He let out a shaky sigh. “I am so sorry… I don’t think I can… Please…”

“Why?”

She was surprised to discover that her whisper was charged with utter desperation.

She saw him fight against something invisible. Shaking his head, he bit his lips.

“Lisa…”

It almost sounded as if he was begging her. Under her fingertips, she felt him shiver. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she pressed her hands to his chest, pushing him back slightly. Away from her.

“It’s alright… I get it.”

His eyes narrowed, studied her.

“No… I don’t think you do.”

Again, that sorrowful look in his eyes and whatever it meant, Lisa couldn’t stand it anymore. What was she supposed to say? What was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to react to this?

“No, I really do. The message was loud and clear. You won’t kiss me – I get that. I’m sorry, it’s my fault…” She closed her eyes, trying to regain control over her shaken nervous system. God. She felt so stupid. “…I obviously felt something that wasn’t there.”

“You didn’t… It’s just…” She saw him shake his head one more time, his lips parting as if he wanted to say something, then closing again.

Lisa felt the bitter aftertaste of the brushoff. She felt refused and lonely, and suddenly realized that she needed to leave. She had to get away from him – because the only thing she wanted was to be with him. And that understanding scared her to death.

“…It’s fine. Look… I gotta go. I need to get out of here.”

“Lisa…” Flustered, Ethan squeezed his eyes shut for a second and reached out, blindly, as if he wanted to stop her. But when he opened his eyes again she was already walking back to their table. “No, wait… Oh, damn it.”

He followed her slowly, his hands pushed deep into his pockets, his eyes fixed on the floor. Had he been a dog, his tail would have been in between his legs. He only glanced up when, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed her grab her purse and put on her coat hastily. She was furious, and he was mortified.

“Wait… Lisa Marie, can you just… Wait a minute. Let’s talk. Let me explain.”

She scoffed.

“Explain what? No, thanks… No more talking, Murphy.”

He winced hearing her call him by his last name.

“You know what? You don’t like talking, and I am done listening. So it’s a win-win situation. I just wanna go home. Please, take me home. Or I can call a cab, and you can stay here and have…. dessert… Or whatever. I don’t give a shit.”

He slowly put his coat on, exhaling quietly.

“No, you don’t need to call no cab. I’ll take you home.” He raised his hand slightly, catching the head waiter’s attention. “Let’s go…”

Outside, the rain was pouring down and the night sky looked just like Lisa’s mood: stormy and threatening.

She and Ethan quickly walked to the Jeep and jumped in, not exchanging a word.

She kept quiet for several minutes, trying to ignore his furtive glances. She could tell that he was uncomfortable, and she knew she was great at making men feel that way when she wanted to. She didn’t know that he felt like an astronaut ready to be shot into space without warning. Without oxygen, and without even wanting to be there.

Houston, we have a problem. She is petite and feisty and is sitting right here, next to me.

He tried to keep his eyes focused on the road, ignoring the windshield wipers furiously working against the storm. This was a storm without grace, apparently. He knew what was coming.

When Lisa finally spoke, it was apparent that she was still aggravated but also that she was trying her best to sound even and controlled.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure…” Murphy kept his eyes fixed on the road.

“Are you gay?”

Taken completely off guard he chuckled, dryly, then threw her a lopsided look.

“What? Am I…” He scoffed. “No… I’m not gay…”

Lisa studied him for a second.

“Do you think it’s funny? It ain’t. It would just make motherfucking sense.”

OK… She wasn’t that calm and collected after all. Lisa was pure dynamite, and her fuse was notoriously short. Always had been.

“Lisa… Nothing is funny right now.” His attitude remained casual, but her potty mouth made him smirk and he shook his head. “I just don’t know what to say. Or what you want me to say.”

“Then… Is it because you don’t like me? Is that why you won’t kiss me?”

And here we go again… Women!

“Actually, I think you’re beautiful…”

“…But?”

“But, what?” He kept staring at the road, paying maximum attention to the rain. The road was very dark and, if possible, the storm had become even more ferocious.

“I think you’re beautiful, but…?”

He frowned.

“There’s no but. I think you’re beautiful and I never said I don’t like you…”

“You never said you like me, either.”

“Well… But I do. I do like you.”

“Yeah?” He felt her eyes on him like lasers.

“Yeah!”

“Then why won’t you kiss me? You have a thing for younger women?”

He let out an amused smirk.

“You’re about ten years younger than me, Lisa…”

This time she eyed him suspiciously.

“How do you even know that? I’ve never told you how old I am…”

“Ah, you’re Elvis’ daughter, remember? Your date of birth is all over the internet…”

Lisa pursed her lips, clearly frustrated with his answer.

“So you went on the internet to find out how old I was? So not cool. What about you, by the way?”

“I’m fifty-seven. And no, I didn’t act like some creep online… I just remember having read something about you a while ago…”

“And where were you born, again?” Her questions didn’t sound like questions anymore.

“Again? I never told you. Brooklyn, anyway… New York.”

She didn’t lose a beat. And neither did he.

“Really? That’s so weird, Ethan, ’cause you don’t sound like a New Yorker at all.”

“That’s because I spent many years traveling around the world, I told you already.” Murphy’s voice and face had become impenetrable. “You only rarely sound like a Southerner, but I don’t nag you for that, do I…”

“Why don’t you ever take off your glasses?”

She wasn’t relenting.

“’Cause I’m blind as a bat and I can’t see shit without ’em.”

“What’s your date of birth?”

He snickered.

“Oh my God! Are you nuts?”

“When were you born, Ethan?”

Well, at least she had stopped calling him by his last name. It was progress. Not.

“March 16, 1959…”

“So you’re a Pisces.”

“Yep….” His eyebrows sprung up, and he nodded slowly, exhaling a long sigh. “So they say.”

“Once again, weird. You don’t sound like a Pisces at all. You sound more like a fucking obnoxious Virgo…”

“Do I?”

“Yeah. Virgos are the worst…”

“If you say so, I trust you. I wouldn’t know the difference since I’m not into that kind of stuff.”

“Have you ever been married?”

“Nope… Never had a wife…” He glanced at her quickly, then turned his eyes back to the road. They were almost there. He just had to push back just a little longer.

Thank God!

“Lisa, Lisa… I really don’t know why you’re acting like this. Come on… Speak up. What do you wanna know?”

He slowed down and stopped the car in front of her house.

Silence fell for what felt like an endless moment. Then she dropped the bomb he was not prepared to dodge.

“Are you Michael Jackson?”

It felt like a fist in the face.

Quietly, he turned off the engine and then shifted in his seat, turning his body so he could face her fully. She stared back at him, fearlessly, her arms crossed over her chest in a defensive posture. Her blue eyes looked like liquid lava in the semi-darkness. She had decided to take the bull by the horns and maybe it was even working, after all.

The only thing he could do was measure his words carefully.

“I am not sure I understand what you mean.”

“What’s there to understand? I just asked you if you’re my ex-husband.”

Lisa’s voice sounded flat.

“Michael Jackson is dead,” he replied quietly.

The corners of her mouth raised, imperceptibly, and her eyes darted. If there was a smirk there, it was devoid of any joy.

“That’s not the answer I was looking for… And you damn well know it.”

He took a second to think his words through.

“No, I really don’t. As a matter of fact, I have no idea what you are trying to accomplish here. Or what you want from me.”

“I am just trying to understand if I’m losing my mind or if there’s some truth in what I feel.”

Ethan’s face was grave.

“And what is it, that you feel?”

“I feel that… you’re not who you say you are…”

He swallowed and shifted in his seat once again. But he didn’t say anything.

“I feel you’re keeping something from me. There are things about you… That you don’t want me to know. Or maybe you do, and you just can’t make up your mind. You’re all about mixed signals, running hot and cold. But I know you wanted to kiss me… I could feel it.”

“It’s true, I did,” he glanced up at her briefly, then went back to staring at the rain pouring over the windshield. “And you got no idea what it does to me. It’s killing me.”

She was not expecting that. Her eyes widened.

“It’s killing you that you wanted to kiss me? What am I, some kind of a monster? An ogress?” Her voice broke.

Murphy shook his head stubbornly and unclasped his seat belt.

“No. That’s not the point. But you know what? This conversation ain’t going anywhere… Obviously, this is not the best time to talk. Maybe we should try again in the clear light of day.”

“No shit…” The remark came out sarcastic, but something shattered inside of her when she realized that he was walling up. She had pushed it too far. She had antagonized him, and he wanted none of it.

Which felt exactly like…

Cognizance started to dawn on her. She knew that reaction. She had seen it many times before and suddenly, in the haze of her mind, a bulb lit up. His mask was crumbling. She didn’t know what to do with it, though… Not yet. She needed him to say out loud what she felt so real inside of her. Which meant that she needed to forge ahead, whether he liked it or not. And he probably would not like it one bit.

“Ethan… It’s not even about timing. This conversation won’t be going anywhere as long as you keep lying to me.”

There, she had said it. Let him chew on that for a second. Let the words marinate a bit. He had to know that she saw through his bullshit… maybe. And oh, how she hoped he had been bullshitting her for weeks.

He shook his head again and pushed the car door open. His body language couldn’t be more straightforward: as far as he was concerned, the conversation was over. She watched him walk around the car, under the pouring rain and open her door. Even pissed, he was still a gentleman.

“I’m sorry… I don’t have an umbrella.”

Lisa climbed down the Jeep and brushed past him.

“Oh, fuck you… and the umbrella… who cares!” She started walking in the rain, straight to the entrance of her house.

“Fuck me?” Squinting his eyes in the pouring rain, Murphy pointed at himself incredulously.

She didn’t even bother turning and quickly climbed up the stairs that led to the patio.

“Yes, Ethan. Fuck you, your games and your lies. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

His voice rose over the racket of the rain. He moved a few, unsure steps in her direction. In the meantime, Lisa had reached the front door and leaned her back against it. She looked down at him. He was still standing in the garden, under the rain, and was getting soaked. Shivering, she realized that she needed to steady herself, because her legs felt wobbly.

“This is so fucked up. You know what? I would rather put a campfire out with my face than going through this again… making a fool out of myself for a man.”

Murphy scoffed. His hair plastered over his forehead, rain drenching from his beard, coat thoroughly wet, he was the most stunning sight she had seen in years.

“And you know what? I don’t know what’s wrong with you, lady, but I guess nothing I said would make a difference at this point. So… good night, Lisa. Sleep well. Clear your mind. Sober up… or whatever. And I see you when I see you.”

“Yeah. Good fucking night to you.”

Shaking his head, he started to walk across the garden and toward his house, his hands buried in the pockets of his coat. Lisa stared at him, her whole body ravaged by shivers.

“Yeah. You do that. Run off. Make one of your quick exits… You’re good at that, after all. In fact, that’s what you do best… Right?”

Turn around, you fool. Stop this madness.

“But you know what? You can run, but you can’t hide from me forever… Michael.”

He stopped abruptly and his head sank forward. He suddenly felt deflated and emptied. And oh, so replenished and liberated. There was not a dry inch on his body anymore.

What happened next was a blur in Lisa’s mind. Even years later, trying hard to go back there with her mind’s eye, there was nothing but a fuzzy vision moving in slow motion. And she never could tell where those words had come from. Why she had called him out like that. After all, she was not sure of anything and had been acting on pure instinct.

And yet something happened. Something unexpected, something crazy. A miracle happened, right there and then.

Lisa watched him as he slumped his shoulders and lowered his head. He stayed completely motionless for about a minute, just standing there under the rain, then spun on his heels and marched back to her, his calm demeanor suddenly dissolving. At the same time, his hand removed his glasses and put them in the small pocket of his drenched jacket.

And at that very moment, she saw them. Michael’s eyes. They were unmistakable. Michael could get older, grow a beard, change his hair color and style, gain several pounds, alter his facial features just enough to look slightly different, introduce himself with a new name and a new voice, a new accent even, dress differently, but his eyes would always be a dead giveaway. There was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

It marveled her how, in the short span of those few steps, even his posture and walk changed, turning into something she knew oh so well. It felt like witnessing a statue disintegrating, revealing the real person hiding inside of it.

Her feet felt rooted to the ground, and she could only swallow as he quickly climbed up the three stairs that led to the patio. Then, his cold hand was on her cheek, and his lips crashed on hers.

Lisa clung to his shoulders as if they were a lifeboat, feeling like drowning in that kiss, the memory of his lips and his tongue in her mouth suddenly resurfacing. His kisses stopped being a memory and became a reality. Her dreams had been pretty accurate, but nothing could rival the real thing. Nothing.

And that was definitely the real thing. She felt it, in that kiss. She knew it. Ethan Murphy was Michael. Her Michael.

His hand moved to the back of her head and his fingers clasped in her locks, destroying her hairdo. His tongue stroked hers, and he moaned longingly into her mouth.

Frantically, she let go of his shoulders and, blindly reaching behind her back, somehow managed to open the front door. They stumbled inside the house, and Michael kicked the door shut.

“Fuck…” Lisa breathed out, trapped between the cold surface of the door and his body, still wrapped in that wet coat and yet sizzling in pure heat.

His lips moved down and he started to kiss her neck with passionate, open-mouthed kisses, and her soul silently sang a Hallelujah. Tears threatened to spill but, at least for the time being, remained caged behind her closed eyelids. She was still shell-shocked.

She grabbed his head and backed off slightly, forcing him to look at her. She needed to see his eyes again.

“It’s you… I was right, it was you… It was you all along…” Her voice broke.

He blinked repeatedly, and it occurred to her that he, too, was as shocked as she was. His body trembled, but the chill of the night and the cold rain were evaporating and all that remained were lust, longing, and love. He kissed her again, like a madman, as his hands started to roam all over her body, pushing her coat off her shoulders, then letting it slide on the floor.

Lisa mirrored his actions and helped him take off his coat and jacket as he started to kiss the exposed skin of her collarbone. She let out a sob and blindly reached for his tie, loosening it, her trembling fingers unbuttoning his shirt. She needed him – she needed to feel all of him, she had to make sure that she was not dreaming.

“Lisa… Lisa… Oh…”

He kept repeating her name like a mantra. His voice had begun to sound strained. It was no longer controlled, no longer masked, no longer different from what she remembered it to be.

Without even realizing it, and despite the thundering heartbeat resounding in her ears, Lisa reached down and touched him right below the belt, her hand spreading against him. What she found was probably the reason why, in the ballroom, he had pulled back from her body when she had asked him to kiss her.

She knew him. She knew how they functioned.

Apparently, that hadn’t changed.

Michael moaned against her neck, and his hands disappeared under her dress, running over the velvety surface of her stockings. Simultaneously, Lisa grabbed him and started to massage him through the soft fabric of his pants. She wanted to cry.

“Oh shit… Oh, fucking hell…” His breathless moan only managed to amp up her frenzy. “I can’t believe I can finally do this…”

She felt inebriated – high on his scent, on his kisses, on his skin that she was slowly rediscovering, on his mere existence.

Her hands shaky, she unbuttoned his pants and pulled down his zipper, her fingers immediately dipping into his briefs and closing around his steel. God… She had almost forgotten what it felt like to touch him. She exhaled, relieved at the familiarity she found, and smiled.

Then his mouth sought her again and they kissed with all the desperate, pent-up passion they had repressed for so long. He was starved, and his beloved, familiar taste filled up her soul. She stroked him a few times the way she remembered he liked and when he leaned against her, she felt him tremble against her body. She was so turned on that she risked coming right then and there, just by touching him, just by feeling him grind against her hand in that familiar rhythm that had been part of their dance for so long.

She recognized the urgency of what they were doing. She knew they didn’t have much time, but it was OK. They were going to make up for all the years they had lost. Right now, it was all about losing themselves in one another. The safety lock had been pulled from the grenade. There was nothing to expect but an explosion.

Almost reading her thoughts, never leaving her mouth, Michael pushed down her thong and she stepped out of it just as he rested both hands on her ass, lifting her up and pressing her against the door. Immediately, her legs wrapped around his hips. She managed to keep her hold on his hardness and guided him where she needed him, biting down on his bottom lip and then soothing the soft skin with her tongue.

He was breathless.

“Lise… girl… I need to… I need…”

“I know, baby… me too… Put it in… Come on… Please, baby… Take me… ” She rested her hand on his cheek, her forehead leaned against his. His face too close not to be blurred, his eyes still so bright. “I have to feel you inside… I need to feel you, Michael…”

He was big and she knew that feeling him again after all that time would hurt. She didn’t care. She wanted him to hurt her just the right way.

But he did care, and kept a steady control over himself as he breached her, inch by inch. The feeling of him invading her took her breath away and she gasped.

She tangled her fingers in his hair and pressed her lips against his forehead.

“Don’t hold back… Let it go… It’s OK… I’m re – Ah!”

He surged forward and filled her completely. Their movements stilled, and they just stayed there for a moment, panting. And then, like an ancient, never forgotten ritual, they started to move together. As if they had never stopped and all the time they had spent apart didn’t matter.

Michael thrust into her with an intensity that took her breath away, and she felt her soul soar into infinity. She felt like flying and disintegrating in the atmosphere, becoming dust and then solid once again. With each and every one of his jabs her spirit was restored, her body vibrated, the diapason of her heart hummed, in perfect sync with Michael.

Time stopped functioning. The foyer filled with whimpers and moans and sobs, shallow breathing and incoherent words. He told her that he loved her. She told him that she couldn’t believe he was really there. He told her that she drove him crazy. She asked him to make love to her again and again and never stop.

The umpteenth first time of their long relationship didn’t last long, and yet was one of their best. When Lisa started to come, she felt him throb and twitch inside of her and knew that he was there, too. She framed his face with both hands and pressed her lips to his, loving the feeling of his beard against her fingers.

“That’s it…” She panted against his mouth, trying hard to focus on his eyes as his movements became sharper, even more driven, as he moved into her so hard to push her up against the door with each thrust. “That’s it… there you go… Come with me, I’m here, I got you, Mike… Come with me, love… I love you so much… I love you.”

He sobbed and it was the final push.

Michael winced, almost in agony, then violently jabbed into her again and again and she experienced the first real powerful, detonating, truly explosive orgasm in years.

“Fuck! Goddamnit! I love you, Lise… I love you, I love you…” The pleasure was so intense that he thought he would pass out. “Oh, fucking… hell…”

But he didn’t, and when they both finally came down from their high, they just stayed still for a long moment, panting, their bodies clammy and hot. Eventually, he put her back down and held her tight against his trembling body, never wanting to let go. Still shaking, Lisa put her arms around his shoulders and closed her fists in his crumpled shirt.

A second later, she lost it and started to cry desperately. Immediately after, she feebly slapped his shoulders and back.

“First of all, fuck you!” Her voice was a muffled sob, her face still pressed against his chest. He let out a long sigh and didn’t let her go, but stroked her hair quietly instead. When she slapped him again, he held her even tighter.  “You douche… Fucking jerk…! What the fuck! Fuck you!”

“OK…” His voice soft, his eyes closed, he cradled and rocked her.

“…Why you always gotta be such a shithead? Fuck isn’t even enough of a curse, right now!”

“I know, baby…. Shush…. It’s OK. I’m here now. I got you.”

He pulled back and kissed her sweetly on the mouth, lingering there, his tongue gently stroking hers.

She held him close.

“I love you, Mike… Heaven help me… I love you like crazy.”

“I love you too… You know I do. Please, calm down now. It’s gonna be OK, I promise. It’s gonna be fine.”

Chapter song