Push Play – Take 14 | Cross Cutting

Take 14 | Cross Cutting

Cross-Cutting

Cross-cutting is an editing technique most often used in films to establish action occurring at the same time, and usually in the same place. In a cross-cut, the camera will cut away from one action to another action, which can suggest the simultaneity of these two actions but this is not always the case. Cross-cutting can also be used for characters in a film with the same goals but different ways of achieving them.

Suspense may be added by cross-cutting. It is built through the expectations that it creates and in the hopes that it will be explained with time. Cross-cutting also forms parallels; it illustrates a narrative action that happens in several places at approximately the same time.

Lisa didn’t even remember who had introduced her to that guy. Lucky. That was how he wanted her to call him. A cute nickname, right from the start. Lisa had felt uncomfortable about it at first, because she didn’t know the man and they weren’t intimate enough for her to be using cute nicknames at all. But then, when she had discovered that his real name was Michael, she had decided that Lucky – or Dick, or Frank, or any other name – would do. The last thing she needed, right after the final big break-up with the man she was still so in love with, was to be dating a man with the same name.

Lucky – Michael – was nothing like her Mike, though. He was way taller and very lanky, his hair a washed-out blond, his eyes small, deep-set and cerulean. He wasn’t especially appealing from a physical point of view, but he seemed funny and easygoing. And so, when he had asked her out, Lisa had said yes.

At that point, Lisa and Michael had been separated for about three months and she was diving headfirst into some serious depressive state. At first she had thought she would make it, this time. After all, it was apparent that she couldn’t do anything to salvage their relationship. And she had been able to be good on her own for a while.

Then loneliness had started to creep in and chew on her like a parasite. Loneliness brought bad thoughts, nasty feelings, self-loathing, sleepless nights and so many tears. She was trapped into her own head and couldn’t escape. Not alone, at least. She needed some distraction.

One night, while she was out with some friends, one of them told her that it was time to let go and that she should start seeing other people. Fight fire with fire. Get distracted. And, more than anything else, get laid. If Lisa couldn’t erase Michael from her heart, yet, she could very well start by erasing him from her body.

Yeah… not likely.

Half-jokingly, Lisa had asked her friend if she knew someone interesting, and Lucky’s name had been brought up. Just to get it over with, Lisa had accepted his number – promising her friend she would think about it. Telling her that she would consider calling him.

“Yeah, you do that, Lisa. He’s a good guy. Easygoing. Maybe that’s what you need right now.”

“Yeah… Maybe.” She had downed her tequila, knowing full well what and who she truly needed. Being very much aware that no Lucky in the world could do the trick.

However, she had indeed called the guy a few days later. Over the phone, Lucky, the unknown guitarist, had sounded surprised – positively surprised – and happy to be talking to “Elvis’ daughter.” He had asked her out right away, saying that he would be glad to have dinner with her at his favorite steakhouse. Well, good. That was OK. No romantic dinners on one of the terraces at Mar-a-Lago this time. No passionate, soul-crushing lovemaking under a blanket of stars. Lucky’s style was so different from Michael’s. Which was all Lisa craved at that moment. She didn’t need to be seduced by those deep dark pools that Michael’s eyes were. She needed to take it easy and have fun.

Alcohol helped, that night, and she and Lucky ended up making out in front of her door, at Hidden Hills. Lisa didn’t know how she felt about that. The guy wasn’t able to make the earth tremble with his very presence, didn’t produce butterflies in her belly, didn’t cause her panties to fly off her and didn’t make her feel as if nothing else in the world mattered. But he made her feel attractive and desired in a moment when she felt anything but. However, she ended things right there and there, that night, and went to bed alone.

From that moment on, she saw Lucky again several times, for a few dates. She slept with him twice. The first time wasn’t great – and the second one was even worse. Lisa quickly realized that being friends with him was a much more appealing possibility. She didn’t feel the passion and rapture she used to experience with Michael, which was no newsflash. But Lucky seemed to love being around her, and his presence made her feel less lonely.

He told her about his plans as a musician, bragged about a few B-list celebrities he had worked with in the past, asked her if she knew anyone who could put him in contact with any major stars, and seemed pretty sure he would soon become very famous. Which was highly unlikely, but alright. Why don’t you make a record, Lucky had told Lisa at one point. I could be your guitarist. We could make great things together. With your name, the spotlight would be on you. Maybe we should – you know, start a band or something.

Of course, Lisa had always caressed the idea of creating her own music, but at that very moment she wasn’t really in the mood for anything of that sort. She had dodged the question and Lucky had started talking about a guitar that he really, really wanted to buy. Too bad he could not afford it: way too expensive for him. Something inside of her had moved, and she had offered to purchase it for him without even thinking. Why not, after all? Lucky was being such a fantastic friend to her. Listening to her pining over Michael. Reassuring her that everything would be okay eventually. Telling her that she would get over Michael at one point – something Lisa was not sure was ever going to happen but hey, dreaming was sweet at times. And so she had walked over to her safe and had taken the money.

The money for Lucky’s very expensive, handcrafted guitar. And that had been her mistake.

Michael stared at Lisa and listened to her, his face serious and collected. And yet she could tell that he was aggravated.

“And you’re sure it was him.”

Lisa’s gaze dropped. They were still in the pool, face to face now, the beautiful pink sky forgotten all of a sudden. She was ashamed of herself. Ashamed of having allowed a stranger to know and take note of things that he was not supposed to know. Ashamed of having let her guard down with someone as untrustworthy as Lucky. Especially after discovering how unfair and nasty he had been to Michael, in the past.

“Yeah. He… when I opened the safe and took the money, he was there. I really didn’t think about it. I guess he memorized the code. I have no idea how he managed to do that but -”

“Photographic memory…”

“Yeah…” Lisa shrugged, her eyes unfocused on the surface of the water. “Maybe.”

“Why did he leak that tape? I mean… why did you think it happen?”

“Likely because I told him that I didn’t wanna see him anymore…”

Underwater, Michael reached out and took her hand. She let him.

“Why did you stop seeing him? Did he hurt you? Lise… What did he do?”

“He didn’t hurt me…” Without looking up at him, she held onto his fingers. They were incredibly warm despite the water being cold. “But I got the feeling he was taking advantage of me. Of my… you know, of my money.”

She pursed her lips. How many times Michael had told her that he was sure that she would never be with him for his money. And he was right. However, the same principle could apply to her. Finding people who didn’t want to turn you into their sugar momma or sugar daddy wasn’t an easy feat. And she had a feeling the blond guitar player wasn’t as selfless as he wanted to appear.

She still remembered the last time – well, second to last – she had seen Lucky. At the studio where he had been working, where he had asked her to stop by, just to say hello. As she watched him play, all of a sudden Lisa had felt incredibly uncomfortable. There had been a part of her that just had wanted to run away and never turn back. She didn’t know why, but chills had run down her spine, as if a mental image crawled into the back of her mind. What if she ended up with someone like him? Someone like Lucky, easygoing on the outside, but always with a tag price for everything he did, everything he said? She had already started to realize that was how he rolled, at that point. Underneath that apparently smooth, placid surface.

Then the feeling had quieted down for a bit. Until Lucky had driven her home and, as if he had wholly forgotten the boundaries she had set for their friendly relationship, had tried to kiss her. Just like that, out of the blue. Lisa had pulled back, telling him that they were not going down that route again. He had smirked and his cerulean eyes had looked so cold and detached for a moment. However, he hadn’t seemed too bothered. But he had asked her if she was willing to sponsor one of his next shows – and possibly jump on stage for a song or two.

A few days later, Lisa had finally picked up the phone after he had tried to call her again and again, to no avail. And she had told him that she didn’t want to see him anymore. She had been on the fence for a while, wondering if she wasn’t being too paranoid, but then something had happened that had caused her to make her decision – and she knew there would be no turning back.

Surfing the internet, looking for information about him, having a feeling that not everything about Lucky was the way it appeared, she had come across some interesting information about his former band. On a very popular social network, Lisa had found posters and flyers promoting the band’s shows. And one of the leaflets had left her stunned. Drawn like a cartoon bubble, it portrayed Michael – her Michael – like a creepy predator. Lisa’s blood had started to boil. It was as if someone had slapped her in the face. She had felt betrayed and deceived. And yet she hadn’t mentioned the thing at all when Lucky had called her.

The next day, he had appeared at Hidden Hills, unannounced, looking like a battered dog, telling her that he did get her point, that he was sorry he had overstepped and tried to kiss her, and that he wanted to give her back part of the money she had spent to purchase his guitar. About a hundred dollars – for a piece that was worth more than five thousands. Lisa had refused the money and had sent him his own merry way. Then she had just forgotten about him altogether. Nothing but a blip on her radar, in the grand scheme of things.

Until her mother had called her and told her he was the culprit. It had been then that Lisa’s head had started to spin.

“What? Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. Do you really think I would call you if I weren’t?”

“No… You probably wouldn’t.”

“But, Lisa Marie… Who is this guy? You never told me anything about him.”

“There was nothing to say. It was over before it began.”

“Was it? ‘Cause he said you two were getting serious.”

Lisa had scoffed.

“In his dreams, maybe.”

“Well… But you were dating him, right? At least for a while. It is obvious that he was in your house. But how could he possibly know about the safe?” Her mother’s voice over the phone had sounded curt, sharp, and incredulous. Lisa had closed her eyes, not really knowing what to say. Not really in the mood to talk to her at all. She had started to feel nauseous.

“I’ll deal with him,” she had murmured eventually.

“You’ll deal with him? Well, there’s no need. Roman and I already have. He won’t bother you anymore. And don’t worry – he doesn’t have anything else. Mark my words. He tried to bluff, but that tape was the only thing he was able to duplicate. Thank goodness. What you should do now, if you ask me, is sue this man.”

Well, Lisa hadn’t asked.

“What for?” She had sat down at the kitchen table, her gaze lost in thought. She just wanted this whole story to be over with, gone and forgotten. And she never wanted to hear Lucky’s name in her life. Ever again. What a son of a bitch! She also had to tell Michael. But not over the phone – she needed to see him in person. Assess his reaction. Because for a long time she had thought she had nothing to do with the leak, and deep down she had believed another copy of the tape existed somewhere. But no – this was on her, and her alone. Fuck it all to hell.

“Are you serious? Oh my God… Lisa Marie, what am I going to do with you?” She had heard Priscilla’s exasperated sigh in the receiver. Her mother had paused. “And one day, when you’re ready, you’ll have to tell me why in the world you still keep those… tapes. Of you with… that man. Or why you two decided to make those videos to begin with.”

“Lisa?” Michael’s voice brought her back to the present, and she glanced up at him for a moment. She wasn’t going to tell him about the damn flyer. She didn’t want to hurt him. Even better – she didn’t want to give such a nobody like Lucky the power to hurt a man like Michael.

“Yeah…”

“How… you know, how do you think he was able to…” He shrugged.

“Get his hands on the tape? Oh, I think he already had, at that point. As some sort of sick insurance. At least according to my mother… And Roman.”

“Roman… That’s why he helped Priscilla. To get back in your good graces.”

“Possibly. But yeah… He did.”

“When did he get it? That dude…”

“What?” She was having a hard time focusing. When her mother had called her, it had been difficult. But having to face Michael and admitting that what had transpired was all her fault was even worse. Lisa was not prepared for the barrage of emotions assaulting her. Choking her.

“When did he get the tape?” His voice became lower. Lisa scrunched her forehead.

“When we slept together, I guess…” Possibly while she took a shower. Or was asleep.

Michael set his jaw and once again she felt incredibly uneasy.

“I’m kinda positive that, by the second time it happened, he realized I wasn’t really into him.”

“Did it happen… again, after that?”

“Michael – friends don’t ask friends this kind of shit.” She tried to pull her hand back, but he didn’t allow her.

“Yes, they do.”

“Well, I ain’t answering.”

“Did it happen again?”

Lisa rolled her eyes. “No. Jesus Christ… You’re impossible.”

His grip on her fingers loosened but still, he didn’t let go.

In her peripheral view, she saw Michael’s free hand come closer to her face. He touched her chin, gently.

“Look at me, Lisa Marie.”

She felt like crying. Her eyes burned. Blinking, she complied and found his face. His features softened.

“Are you crying?”

“Nope. Not crying.”

“Yes, you are…” He sighed. “Come here…”

This time she didn’t even wait for him to move closer, and even less she stepped back, trying to evade his embrace. She needed him and went straight into his arms. Where she knew she belonged. The physical contact between their naked skins felt comforting and electrifying at the same time, and Lisa buried her face in the hollow of Michael’s neck. Seeking peace and solace – and finding it.

“Why did you sleep with him, Lise?” There was pain in his voice, but it was barely perceivable. As if he was trying his hardest to keep it at bay. “We had just…”

Broken up. Yes. She knew.

“Michael…” She shook her head and held him tighter. Her arms around his neck now. Knowing well that he hadn’t been alone either. Rumors would always find a way to reach her, even when she didn’t wanna hear them. She and Michael were so fucked up. They were imperfect when they were together, but so messed up when they were apart.

“I know I shouldn’t have. I knew back then, and I know now.” Her hand came up, resting on the back of his head. “I’m so sorry.”

“About sleeping with him?” His lips moved against her skin, on her shoulder, then kissed it. Lisa shivered.

“Yeah, that too. But most of all, I’m sorry he was able to get to our… private stuff. It’s my fault he did. And then he sent that note to you. Because he knew…” She took a shaky breath. “He knew that upsetting you would hurt me more than anything.”

Michael grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled back from her body. She felt lost. His eyes searched hers.

“It’s not your fault. He did this. It has nothing to do with you.”

“Yes, it has, Michael! I should have been more careful! I never, ever, ever open that damn safe when someone else is around… unless it’s people I trust. Like the kids… or you. You know that.”

Once again, his face seemed to soften and Lisa didn’t even realize that her eyes were flooded with tears.

“It’s my goddamn fault. I did this to us. To you. I put you in the spotlight with my bullshit.”

“No, you haven’t done anything. Stop being such a stubborn brat.” This time he grinned. “And stop crying.”

Out of frustration, she slapped the surface of the water and he winced. “I’m not fucking crying!”

Michael giggled. “Girl, you’re a mess. Come back here. It’s alright.”

He pulled her back into his arms and cradled her face in his hands. His thumbs drying her tears. They stared at each other and there was a serenity in him that surprised her.

“Stop crying, ‘kay? It’s all good.”

Yeah… only, it wasn’t. They were friends and she was in love with him. Goddamn it!

“Sorry.”

“And you said he has nothing else to leak.”

“No, he’s got nothing.”

“Great. It’s over, then. We got this… You and I, Lise. It’s done.”

She kept staring at him and allowed herself to get lost in him for a moment. The tiny, cocky smile slowly disappeared from his face and Lisa saw that gravitas again. As if there was something he couldn’t or wouldn’t say. Moving closer, Michael kissed her forehead, then her temple. His lips were warm and soft. They reached her closed eyelids and she let out a breath, her hands coming up, caressing his forearms. When his mouth reached her cheek, the corner of her mouth, she wasn’t even surprised. Only elated. Only comforted. She tilted her head ever so slightly and their lips met in a series of soft, gentle, innocent pecks. Her body warmed up immediately, as if she was finally exposed to the sun. They kept going for a bit, lingering a little, paying attention not to deepen the kiss – then he finally pulled back.

Lisa opened her eyes and saw the tight control he was exerting on himself. She knew he wanted more. She wanted it too. And she also knew how painful going cold turkey was – when two people shared the addictive passion she and Michael shared.

“I’m sorry.” His voice sounded raw, raspy.

“It’s fine…” Finally feeling better, Lisa offered him a bashful smile. “And – you know, at least we were careful not to…”

“Yeah, no tongue was involved.”

She snorted, then hugged him again. “I still think it was my fault too, Mike.”

“Yeah…” He caressed her hair. “I know you do. You stubborn little lady.”

“I’m not only talking about Lucky. I was thinking – you know, about last year. The things you said to me the last time we…”

“…Made love…”

She blushed and nodded. Just saying the words distracted Michael from all feelings of rage and outrage he had experienced so far. Not kissing Lisa again became extremely difficult all of a sudden.

“I appreciate how you took responsibility for it, but it wasn’t all your fault, you know… I thought about it so much lately. I am so sorry it ended the way it did… between you and I. I should have been more patient and…” Pulling back, she took a deep breath. “…I should have come back that day. After our fight. I knew you were hurt.”

Her words were the last thing Michael expected and he felt frozen. Did Lisa really think their final breakup was her fault, too? He still held her accountable for their divorce, at least for setting the whole thing in motion, because she had been the one doing it – triggering his response, which had been just as childish, in retrospect. But for this? For not coming back to him after he treated her in a way that he himself considered intolerable, unforgivable? After he had fucked her like she was nobody to him, and told her things no woman should ever hear?

Michael just stared at her, suddenly speechless.

“And so…” She sniffled and when she looked up at him again, she was no longer crying. “You know, I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry about that too. I know I did try to love you as best as I knew how, but I also know that I’m a lot to handle. I see that now. And I hope she’ll make you happy.”

She.

Zoe.

Back to the present

Thinking about that day forced Michael to glance out of the window. Summer was coming to an end. The pool area was deserted. Hell, the whole ranch was pretty much deserted, as he had asked most of the staff to leave for the day. He didn’t feel like seeing anyone. His mood was horrible, despite having plans for the night.

Plans involving Zoe. Meeting her parents, after so much insistence on her part. Michael sighed and stared at his cell phone again. No new texts. Biting his lip, he typed what came into his mind without even thinking about it.

Hey Lise

As if she was waiting for nothing else but his message, she replied within a bunch of seconds.

What

What you doing

Taking a walk downtown - shopping
why

Is Roman with you?

He didn’t like bringing up the guy at all. That day, in the pool, Lisa had told Michael that she would call Roman and thank him for what he had done, for helping Priscilla finding out who had leaked the darn tape to the public. Essentially, Michael himself should have been grateful to Roman. Too bad he wasn’t. Because, just as predicted, Roman becoming an ally hadn’t much to do with virtue or justice – it was just the perfect way to get closer to Lisa again, after she had dumped his boring ass. Just like he deserved.

Michael had called Lisa a few days after she had visited the ranch with the kids, trying his best to sound inconspicuous. He knew she had already met Roman in person, at that point, but afterward she had not gotten in touch with Michael at all. Which was suspicious and unnerving. He so hated being left out of the loop!

When, after a bit of prodding, Lisa had told him that she had decided to give Roman another chance – and that they basically had gotten back together – Michael wasn’t even too surprised. And yet her words had almost knocked him off his feet. The sudden acidic feeling in his stomach could not be ignored either. But what did he expect? He had been clear: he was still with Zoe, and she was willing to have his baby. Was Lisa supposed to stay single and virginal forever?

Why was accepting the decision they had made together so hard? He and Lisa had spoken about it, plenty. They had rationally listed all the whys and hows their relationship would not go anywhere. They had made it a point to keep their friendship intact and try to move on. And yet Michael felt as if he was stuck in quicksands, unable to go anywhere. Shackled.

Shackled to Lisa because of the love he still felt for her, and shackled to Zoe and to her willingness to have another kid. Which was something his heart wanted so much. If only it could happen with the right woman… then it really would be perfect. Zoe wasn’t that, but the possibility alone was so very tempting for a man that was born to be a father.

At forty-two and despite having kept his childlike spirit pretty much intact, Michael had matured and was now old enough to know that dreams didn’t always come true. He could bullshit himself and others by telling everyone that the sky was the limit, but the truth was that sometimes boundaries existed and he was not supernatural. He was only human, and his godlike veneer was way thinner than it looked. At least when it came to his personal life, which he always had been able to manage sorta-kinda.

How funny it was that he was so in love with a woman that had always seen herself as smaller than she really was. While in fact, she was everything he feared and wanted, big enough to fill his heart.

He knew Lisa had been blaming herself so much for the tape, despite his reassurance. He was not mad at her. He knew she would never do anything like that on purpose. And yeah… he knew plenty about leeches. How they found their way in people’s lives. How trusted they too often appeared to be. How subtle their rotten pollution was. You didn’t realize you were infected until your limbs started falling off. That guy – what was his name again? Oh, right. Lucky – he had taken advantage of Lisa’s generosity and compassion. Because Michael knew, behind the tough girl persona, how soft she was. So very sweet. If anything, the idea of anyone exploiting her made him see red.

As she told him about that guy, that day, in the pool, Michael couldn’t help but wondering if Zoe had been doing the same thing with him. Leeching off him. But no, it didn’t make one lick of sense. Zoe was a professional model, wealthy and independent, self-confident and in need of no-one. Not even Michael Joseph Jackson. She had never asked for anything but his company. Even more than that: Zoe had been giving non-stop. She had been giving Michael her time, her body, her undiluted attention and – yes, he knew – her heart, too. Michael knew she was in love with him. That was why she was willing to become pregnant with his child. So tempting. So scary. And so suspicious.

When Lisa had asked Michael if he and Zoe had been actively trying to have a baby, he had not tried to dodge the question. The truth was that he would not have known what to say. Were they having sex? Yes. And yet, every time Michael would find an excuse to put on a condom.

I’m still working on my album, right now. I gotta stay focused.

Your career is important. You’re off the charts. We don’t need to hurry.

And so on, and on, and on. He had no idea why he was behaving that way. In another life, possibly in different conditions, he would have taken the chance right away. Not leaving the bed until his woman was indeed pregnant. But not now. His own behavior had managed to leave him speechless, as if two souls were battling inside of him, one wanting to forge ahead, another one holding back.

You know the truth, brother. You just refuse to admit it.

Nah. Wrong. He had no idea what the truth was any longer. His life looked like such a smooth sailing on the surface right now, but beneath the placid blue water, he felt there was a storm coming.

Michael’s phone buzzed. Another text. Lisa. His anchor.

No, I’m with Leish. She says hi.

I still haven’t met her in person. This is awkward.

Don’t be a jerk. Just say hi :-)

He smiled. She sounded in a good mood.

Hi!

:-) What u doin

He got up and walked over to the huge French windows, phone in hand. What was he doing, indeed? Stalling. Buying time.

He flipped the phone open again.

Should be getting ready for my night out
Am supposed to meet zoe’s family later

Lisa made him wait a solid five minutes before replying.

R u getting ready?

Not really

Why not

He didn’t answer. And of course, she turned into a puppy holding onto a bone right away. Not letting go.

Mike?

What

Don't u wanna go?

Not sure

Want me to call you? For like a minute?

For like a minute? What was with the clockwork call? His pride told him to say no. That he got this and would take care of it just fine, that he was going to get ready and was ecstatic at the idea of spending the night with Zoe’s mom and dad. Who, more likely than not, would be thrilled to meet him.

His fingertips moved on the small keyboard.

Yeah

And then his phone rang.

Lisa glanced up at Leish and found her staring back at her, half-smiling.

“What?” Lisa frowned.

“Nothin’. You just got that look…” Her friend tried hard to repress a laugh.

“No, I don’t. Listen -”

“Is it him? The sparkling guy you’re still so in love with?”

Lisa rolled her eyes.

“Cut it out… We’re just friends now. I told you.”

“Yeah, right… Just friends.” Alecia cocked an eyebrow, then glanced around with a sigh. They were in one of the most exclusive boutiques on Rodeo Drive. “You want me to take a look around? You seem busy.”

“I’m not busy. We’re just texting. But he sounds… ah, upset and…”

“Sure, go ahead.” Alecia made a sweeping gesture with her hands. “Call the guy. Like the good friend that you are. I’ll be in the dressing room when you’re done. See you later.”

And just like that, giggling, she sauntered off toward the lingerie section. Lisa shook her head. Was it so obvious that she was still in love with Michael? No, she didn’t think so. In the past weeks, she and he had both done their best to conceal whatever feelings they still felt for one another, and she was pretty sure they were now more than capable of standing in their respective lines. Alecia was just prejudiced and knew their history, that was all. But from an external point of view, Lisa was sure she would just look like she was worried about her friend. Which was all that she was!

Lisa walked over to a desert area of the shop, smiled politely at one of the assistants and sat down on a plush chair, in front of a huge mirror wall. She noticed the look in her eyes and realized it was not the look she usually had when she was about to call a friend. Well… Michael didn’t need to know, as they would be over the phone anyway.

He picked up almost immediately.

“Hey…”

His voice sounded somber, and Lisa scrunched her eyebrows.

“Hey, you… What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m just…” He sighed. Lisa sat back into the chair.

“Mike… ‘fess up.” Her forehead distended. “You know you can talk to me.”

“Yeah. And I know you know my moods.”

She smirked.

“I was right, then.”

He didn’t reply, and once again she tried to guess what he meant with his silence. Michael was a very peculiar man. He could talk a mile a minute if he was in the mood for it or felt comfortable, but usually he was quiet, shy. Not all the time, but definitely when his emotional state was not at its best. Michael had a hard time conveying some of his feelings in the most comprehensible manner. It would happen while he and Lisa were together and it still happened now. He was great with music and lyrics, dance and drawing, but when it came to words… he could be misunderstood pretty easily. Not by her, though.

“You’re not sure you want to go. That’s what it’s all about, right?” She asked, softly.

“I know I have to. And I don’t like feeling forced to do something I’m not sure I wanna do.”

“You sound stressed out. Just try to keep a cool head. You feel like she’s pushing you?”

“It’s not that she’s pushing me… Lise – She just asked, you know. And I said, OK, let’s do it.”

Lisa’s smile vanished, but she kept her voice low and calm, reassuring.

“Michael… relationships should never be out of obligation. You’re divorced now, you’re free. Just do what you feel like doing. Go if you wanna go, stay home if you’re not up to it. It’s that simple.”

Of course, when she had mentioned his freedom she was talking about his recent divorce from Deb. But also his not so old separation from her. The thought made her sad. She wondered if he was stuck in some sort of cycle where he felt he had to do shit just because he was with someone. Which could be partly true, as relationships required compromises and commitment, but at the same time they were not business deals.

“I might be thinking it’s a little too soon for this.”

Lisa exhaled a long breath.

“Well, I don’t wanna play the devil’s advocate here, but… you and Petunia have been talking about procreating together. That’s not exactly noncommittal. In a way, I understand why she’d like for you to meet her family before you… you know, proceed.”

“Stop calling her Petunia – Yeah, I get that. I do. But we ain’t actively trying… yet. So maybe – I don’t know, maybe I should have told her to wait.”

“Why aren’t you actively trying?” Lisa had to ask. Because he had been so evasive about the subject, and at first she thought it was because things were more serious than he could ever express verbally.

“Because I’m still busy with my album and my mind is someplace else. And she’s doing her thing with those fashion houses.”

Well, that was bizarre. When she and Michael were married, he was busy recording HIStory, and yet that had not stopped them from actively trying to have a baby. The pregnancy had just not happened. Then things had started to go downhill, and the baby hadn’t arrived because Lisa didn’t feel safe anymore. Michael’s words sounded so unlike him, but she didn’t feel elated at all. If anything, he probably had matured enough to understand that a couple needed to be in a good, safe place before thinking about putting a baby into this world.

“I see.”

“And that’s why I think we should maybe slow down.”

“Hey, is there anything you need to tell me? Like, are you gonna ask her to marry you in front of her parents or something?” She was only half-joking.

Michael let out a humorless laugh.

“My ass. No. I’m not planning to get married to anyone anytime soon.”

Lisa swallowed. Right. Why should he even be thinking about getting married again. It wasn’t that he had found the perfect wives anyway.

“Well, then… I think you’re safe, Mike. You’re just gonna have dinner with those people. And if once you’re there you feel like you wanna go home, just go home.”

“She told me her parents are excited to meet me…”

“Of course they are. You’re…” She bit her lip. “You’re a great guy.”

He let the words linger for a bit. “You really think so?”

“Yeah. I do.”

“Thanks… You are too.”

Lisa snorted. “I’m a great guy? Fuck off and thanks a lot.”

Her silly joke made him laugh and relax a bit, and she smiled.

“Oh no. You’re definitely all woman, Lise… All female, without a doubt.”

The drop in his voice almost made her drop her panties. This was not good. Flirting with her friend as he was going to be introduced to his girlfriend’s mom and dad? Unsavory. Lisa cleared her throat.

“Look, I’ll tell you what. Feel free to call me back if you wanna talk again, later. OK?”

“Even if it’s late?”

“It never stopped you before so, yeah…”

“Cool. Hey, I just don’t wanna bother you… or Roman.”

“Roman isn’t staying at Hidden Hills tonight. You know we no longer live together. We’re just dating now.”

Of course, he knew. But he loved hearing her say that, despite having taken the guy back, she was way more guarded now. He loved being reminded, without words, that she had never been as reckless as when she had fallen in love with him. Little shit!

“Yeah, I remember. I just wanted to make sure.”

“Alright, then. Go get ready, Jackson. I’m sure they’ll love you.”

And if they loved him at least ten percent of how she loved him, Lisa thought he would be alright, after all.