Arcana | 7 – The Lovers

Arcanum 7 – The Lovers

This ambiguous card prompts us to question our own emotional state: how is our emotional life going? Are we enjoying peace or experiencing conflict? Are we doing what we love? What place does love hold in our lives? Does the situation that is our chief concern have roots in our past, and if so, what are they? This card can refer to questions concerning the place we’ve been assigned within our family unit, and to work identifying the projections we cast on those now around us. The Lover will be one of the figures on the card, chosen by the subject of the reading, whose relations he or she can analyze. Whatever the question may be, it will be helpful to remember that the central Lover remains the large white glowing sun, which sheds its light on all living things without discrimination.

Panting.

The room was quiet, and the only sound Michael could hear was that of their heavy breathing, interrupted by soft moans or, in Lisa’s case, light whimpers.

He had no idea what time it was. Also, there had been moments when he had almost forgotten where they were, because her body had become everything that existed. Her body, the geography of it, had become his world.

When Lisa had asked him if he wanted to come in, inside the private quarters that he had set up for her, he almost had not believed his ears. For a second, he had wondered if it was because she wanted to keep talking, maybe about what had somehow transpired during their little tour on the golf car. At first, it had even seemed that it was going to be just that, despite the hot kisses they had shared near the bungalow. They had almost made him crazy with desire.

“Are you tired?”

He had closed the door behind his shoulders and had leaned his back against it.

Lisa had removed her jacket and had tossed it on the back of the nearby couch. She had raked her hand through her hair.

“Not really, no… Our little trip in the cold kinda revived me… Crazy ass…”

Michael had laughed, a bit forcibly. He had hoped she couldn’t see just how much her kisses had turned him on, just a minute earlier. How revived every part of him was. He was also shocked, realizing how nervous he felt. Yes, he was a shy guy, but once he set his eyes on a woman, he usually knew how to get what he wanted. While with Lisa… Well, everything was a little trickier than usual. Feelings that often were foreign to him would get in the middle, jumbling him up. It was all so very bizarre.

And even right then and there, the whole situation held a surreal quality that felt almost dreamlike. To have her there with him, when he had been convinced he wouldn’t see her at all, that he would leave for his tour without even the chance of saying goodbye, that she would forget all about him. And instead, the opposite had happened.

Magic… Or maybe fate. The thought made him scoff internally.

“You know, I was surprised when you told me that you didn’t want me to pick you up and bring you here at the ranch.”

Noticing that she, too, seemed to be wondering what the heck was happening had prompted him to break the ice.

Lisa had smiled.

“This is so funny. You seem surprised…”

Michael had shrugged.

“I don’t know… Usually women like that. You know, having a car picking them up… being driven around…”

His observation had made her laugh in such an unguarded, genuine way that he, too, had chuckled.

“Women? You mean the girls you usually hook up with? I get it, I’m sure they love that.” She had cleared her throat, her laugh subsiding. “But I’m not like them…”

Michael too had turned serious and they had stared at each other.

“Clearly not.”

“And why is that, in your opinion?”

“…Not sure yet. You’re just so very different from any other woman I’ve met.”

They had studied each other for a minute. Without any more words, she had once again walked over to him. Michael was still leaning against the door and had kept staring at her, observing her every move. Her hands had come up, caressing his cheeks, moving behind his neck, stroking his hair. Her fingers felt so incredibly warm despite the chill of the night. He had vaguely registered the flames in the fireplace, their shadows dancing on the walls.

Then Lisa had pulled his head down just as he had grabbed her by the waist, stepping into her personal space. They had kissed, their eyes closed, he didn’t know for how long – but it felt like forever and fleeting at the same time.

Before they knew what was what, they were on the bed.

Now, as he moved inside of her slowly, lying on top of her lithe body that seemed to writhe every time he touched those secret places he had craved to discover, they still couldn’t stop staring at each other. Lisa’s hand was tangled in his hair, the other clutching to his back. Then it caressed his sweaty skin, moving down, coming to rest over his ass and holding onto it as he kept dancing into her body.

They had stopped talking quite a while ago. Feeling strangely at ease with her, Michael had taken off his clothes without being terrified that she would find his skin condition repulsive. Something which he usually feared, every time he had a lady in his bed. But this was different. Lisa truly was different.

When he finally had gotten rid of his t-shirt, he had straightened his back and had just stood there, his torso naked, watching her, assessing her reaction, bracing himself for the worst… just in case.

Instead, Lisa’s eyes had roamed over his chest for a moment, then had moved up to his eyes again. The fire he saw in them hadn’t subsided one bit. She still wanted him.

The next thing Michael had felt, had been her hands tracing his chest, his sides and abdomen. Then her lips on his feverish skin, kissing and worshiping him, following an invisible route only she knew. Her fingers unbuckling his belt and unzipping his jeans. Dipping inside, finding him, touching him lightly. She hadn’t said a word, she hadn’t commented, she hadn’t seemed weirded out at all by the spots, the discolorations. Only immensely attracted to him. As if she didn’t care about him looking… different.

And he was immensely attracted to her, in a way that felt new and astonishing compared to all his previous experiences.

“Is it OK?” He had murmured as she kept kissing his collarbone. His breath was uneven.

Lisa had gazed up at him, her eyes looking shiny and soulful.

“You’re gorgeous…”

Michael had blushed, then smiled. Whatever he had implied with his question, she had understood. Touching her chin and tilting her face up to him, he had kissed her, desire running through him like wildfire. And then, feeling bold, he had kept kissing her as he slowly got rid of her clothes, garment after garment, until they finally were skin against skin.

She had taken his hand and had guided him to the bed. From that moment on, everything had been absorbed into a maelstrom of feelings and sensations that were hard to describe with words. Naked in the sheets, they had explored each other’s body unhurriedly, knowing well that they were safe and nobody would interrupt them this time.

This time was the right time. And this place was the right place.

Of course, as it usually happened when two people first made love, they were cautious, but not necessarily guarded. Both of them seemed to understand that, despite the absence of a definition of what they were to one another, this was not just a mindless fuck. This was purposeful and Michael knew he had wanted to make love to Lisa since that night at Leigh’s.

It was also uncanny how, at one point, he had noticed the same look of insecurity and self-consciousness painted on her face. Why? She was so beautiful. She had no idea how gorgeous she was. In his eyes, she was perfect.

“Lise…” Lying next to her, he had rested his hand on her stomach and kissed her again and again, enjoying the feeling of her fingers tangled in his hair, loving the scent of her skin. His kisses had moved down, finding her breasts. “You are so beautiful…”

She had blinked and swallowed, then had pulled his head down to her again. Her tongue sweeping into his mouth, caressing him. A seductive, sexy kiss.

“Come here… Michael… I need you…”

God…

Positioning himself between her legs had almost made him lose it right away. Looking down at the way their bodies slid against each other was more arousing than anything he had experienced in a very long time. Her hands tracing his muscles, dipping down, touching him, her lips latched onto his neck. Everything felt like a discovery and a conquest.

“Baby… Do you… I mean…” He really hated doing this, and he hated stopping when all he wanted to do was go, go, go – but he had to be responsible. Trapped between arousal and nervousness, he felt his cheeks go up in flames. “Have you…”

“Are you asking me if I’m a virgin?”

Was she really that able to read his mind so easily? How could she do that? She barely knew him!

“Yeah…”

As usual, Lisa had seemed to study him for a second, as if she found it surprising that he cared about such things. What kind of men had she dated?

“No, I’m not a virgin… and I’m also clean… and on the pill… so…”

Wanting to get rid of the pesky moment, he had lowered his head and found her mouth again, letting passion take over. She trusted him, and it was that detail that almost pushed him over the edge. Trust was seductive. No, it was more than that. It was addictive.

Now, as he kept moving inside of her, his thrusts slow and controlled, he couldn’t believe the moment could be more perfect. When he had finally glided inside of her for the first time, he had thought he would pass out for the heat and the friction. Her lithe body had closed around him, sheathing him so flawlessly, as if God had created that woman for him and him alone. Lisa too had looked affected, her torso arching against Michael’s chest as she let out a soft moan, her nails digging into his back. His head had started to spin, then instinct had taken over and they had begun their dance. They had danced as if they were one.

Once again, he had marveled at how easily they had found a rhythm, a synchronism. There was no discomfort, no awkwardness, nothing of that sort. They were making love for the first time and yet somehow it felt as if they had been one for a very long time.

Sometimes struggling to keep his eyes open in the vain attempt to keep the intense pleasure under control, he had witnessed her pleasure coming in waves. Her dazed expression when the first orgasm had swept her away, making her tremble and cry out, as if the climax had taken her by surprise. And then the second one… the third one. She had almost looked startled, and Michael didn’t know why. What he did know is that he loved pleasuring her, it was the biggest turn-on, and made her feel like that was everything that mattered to him.

However, it was hard to resist so much beauty, such intense desire. He felt the detonation approaching and tossed his head, strands of sweaty hair partly obstructing his view. His movements picked up speed.

Lisa’s eyes, up until that moment half-closed, widened and she lifted her head from the mattress. He felt her tongue licking his neck, then her lips were over his.

“Girl… I think I’m about to come…”

Nothing but a whisper against her mouth.

He felt her thighs locking around his waist, holding him in place. Without any word, she told him what she wanted. It was also what he needed.

Her right hand was pressing against his chest and he took it, interlacing his fingers with her, pinning her hand down on the sheets. Lisa cried out just as he gritted his teeth and let go of all inhibitions, all the while desperately trying to hold on just a moment longer.

“Oh, God… Oh, fuck…”

Their gazes locked and, the moment he felt her writhe and contract around him, he started to come with her, his eruption unstoppable. He knew they both moaned, but wasn’t sure of what was said. He knew it lasted forever. He also knew he thought he would die, his heart up in his throat, the pleasure too intense, her body too hot, too perfect for him.

Her eyes stayed open as she moaned out loud again, cursing, and then he saw her tears as her other hand clung to his head, holding it close to her, as if she needed him to not back off. Which he had zero intention of doing.

Worried, Michael held his breath, hesitating, slowing down his sharp movements. She reacted by immediately kissing him. Her eyes were still welling up but she didn’t look sad, nor in pain. She seemed caught in pleasure. He didn’t know what to do. He had no idea what was going on.

“No… Don’t stop… Don’t…” She whispered in between kisses, her pelvis rocking against him, her body closing down on him once more.

Oh, shit.

Surging forward, Michael cried out, white specks dancing before his eyes as electric shocks ran through him, and finally collapsed on top of her, his face buried in the crook of her neck, his breath ragged. He felt Lisa’s arms close around him as she kissed his temple, softly, repeatedly, and he closed his eyes.

OK… if Michael didn’t throw her out of his ranch now, he at the very least must have considered the idea. Because starting to cry like a loon while having the most intense orgasm she had ever experienced surely had been shocking to her, while him… Well, he likely thought that she was nuts. Oh, God, this was so embarrassing!

The truth was that she had been blown to smithereens when they had started making love. She had never found a man who made love to her like Michael had, and the further they went, the most obvious it became.

Despite the strong image of herself she wanted to project, Lisa was sensitive to a fault. And when she and Michael had entered the bungalow, she hadn’t had the heart to tell him that she was scared shitless. She wanted to be with him with every fiber of her being, but it strangely felt like the ultimate first time. She had been honest when she had told Michael that she was not a virgin, however the moments she had experienced with him – the kissing, the touching – had nullified whatever previous encounter she had engaged in. It all felt different. Because he was different.

There was a uniqueness, a fire about him, just simmering beneath the surface, and yet he looked very much capable of keeping himself in check. He also never seemed to lose sight of her – metaphorically, too. He seemed to care. And that had been the biggest pull that had propelled Lisa to jump into the void.

When she had walked over to him, seeking his kiss, she was well aware of what she was communicating. She was his, at least for that night, and she trusted him. The message, albeit wordless, was clear and Michael had understood. She just hoped he hadn’t realized how nervous she was as she took his hand and guided him to the bed. How much she trembled.

Then his heat had incinerated her. All fears had vanished. She had been transported in nowhere-land and she had felt safe with him.

Michael had taken Lisa to heights she did not know existed. His lips on her body were scorching, singeing her wherever they touched. He had traced a route of kisses from her neck and down to her collarbone, her clothes gone, his mouth on her breasts and belly, and once again she had taken his hand, guiding it down, over the flat plane of her abdomen, lower still…

When he had touched her for the first time, her body had vibrated like a diapason. And when he had reciprocated her gesture, taking her hand and guiding it where he needed it the most, Lisa had closed her eyes, reveling in the tactile feeling of his hot, hard flesh. He was…

“Oh, shit…” She vaguely remembered whispering at one point, as they kept kissing.

Once again desire had mounted, together with a slight feeling of nervousness. How was she supposed to take him? And yet, even though she was aware that his size would likely hurt, she had never wanted anything more than having this man make her his.

When it had happened, when she had felt him push inside of her lightly, and then with increasing determination, Lisa had held her breath, wincing slightly, as her body adjusted, worked to accommodate him. Her eyes had stayed on him. He was so very gentle, so cautious. He had started to perspire and it had been the biggest turn-on, to the point that she had kissed and licked his neck, her leg closing around his hip, her foot pulling him into her as she whimpered.

“You OK? …Shit…” Michael was panting.

Lisa had swallowed and nodded.

“Yeah… Kiss me…”

His kiss, passionate and sweet, was in sharp contrast with his steel invading her. The sheer feeling of him entering her for the first time had almost made her come. Such was the intensity of it all. Such was the perfection.

His way of making love was unlike anything she had ever experienced. It wasn’t that her previous encounters hadn’t been pleasurable – however, several times she had found herself almost crushed under the weight of her partner. Guys who didn’t seem to be paying too much attention to her, just jabbing mindlessly into her body, looking for their own pleasure. Lisa loved sex and had learned to enjoy it, but that didn’t mean every experience had been memorable. Quite the opposite, in fact.

But not this time. Not with Michael.

He seemed focused on her and her alone. When she had come for the first time, unable to suppress the tidal wave of pleasure brought by his hips skillfully moving against her, his hands touching her, his lips kissing her, she had been speechless. Such had been the violence and intensity of it. Opening her eyes again, blinking as if she had inhaled smoke, she had caught him smiling, never losing a beat. Grinning herself, she had for the umpteenth time pulled his head down and they had kissed some more. The passion, the flames. Devouring them from the inside.

It had been a never-ending circle of pleasure. Lisa had never stopped feeling. She had felt dizzy, vertigo making her head spin. He had left her breathless, even though she could tell he was restraining himself and he too was unprepared for that onslaught of pleasure. For a moment, she had almost told him to let it all go and drop whatever guard he felt he had to keep up, but she was supposed to have a voice for that.

Finally, when his control too had snapped and she had watched him get lost in that moment when everything ended and began, she had reached the peak with him and the tears had come before she even had the chance to know what was going on. It had simply been too much, in all the best ways. There was just something so intimate in them being skin on skin, no barriers in between.

And there was also something else. He had taken her hand, interlacing his fingers with hers, holding onto her. That had been the most intense connection, the ultimate seduction. In that moment, everything was perfect and all darkness had evaporated. He seemed to have that power over her. To never make her feel alone. To chase the ghosts away.

Madame LeFleur’s “prediction”, of course, had come to mind, and Lisa had remembered her exact words, but had tried not to focus on that. Michael was all she saw and all she felt.

And even now, afterward, he surprised her. Lisa was used to men falling asleep right after rolling off her, or smoking a cigarette as they pulled away, or getting up and going to the bathroom… or whatever. To be completely honest, she would have loved a smoke at that very moment, but Michael spooning her, his chest pressed against her back, his lips on her shoulder were a much better alternative.

He was being… cuddly. And she loved every minute of it.

Knowing well that he could not see her face, she smiled and kissed his forearm, still wrapped around her torso.

Michael nuzzled her neck.

“Why are you smiling?”

Damn him! He rubbed his chin against the soft skin and his night stubble tickled her. Lisa giggled.

“I wasn’t.”

“Oh yes, you were.”

This time he bit her gently, making her squeal and she turned, finally coming face to face with him. God… He was so handsome. It was the first time she observed him after making love, really, as up until now she had been shy. Well, to be honest she had become a bit shy all of a sudden after they were done, not really knowing why. But anyway… Michael was indeed handsome. Hair wild, eyes shiny and bright, and that playful smile were a heady feast, together with his wonderfully naked dancer body and the scent of his skin. Instinctively, she reached up and touched his cheek.

His smile subsided but his eyes stayed serene, just staring at her for a moment.

“Hey… Are you OK, Lise? Did I hurt you?”

Yeah – in the best possible way. And she hoped he could soon hurt her some more. Repressing a grin, Lisa shook her head.

“No, I’m good. You?”

“Better than I’ve been in quite some time.” He covered her hand with his own. “Oh, about… you know, earlier. I just want you to know that I, too, am clean.”

Oh, right. That. Lisa didn’t even know what the heck she had been thinking. Asking him to go bareback. It was something she never, ever did. She could be wild, but not that reckless. However, as he hovered over her, sliding against her without entering her yet, she had felt the sudden urge to feel all of him. To have him take her without anything in between. To feel him tremble and release inside of her. And it had been so worth it. Once again, it was a new feeling – and she had no idea where it had come from. But sure as hell it had felt magnificent.

“I believe you.” She took a deep breath. “I know you’re telling me the truth. And I just want you to know… That’s not something I normally do. As a matter of fact…”

“I never do it…”

“Yeah, same here…”

They smiled at each other and he turned his head, kissing the palm of her hand. His eyes, however, stayed on her.

“Then why, Lisa? Why did you trust me with this?”

The million-dollar question. What was she supposed to say when she didn’t have an answer?

“I don’t know. I just did. I think…” She blinked, trying to shape her chaotic thoughts into something resembling a verbal response. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

“Other than me… over and over?”

His lopsided smirk made her snort and she slapped his shoulder playfully.

“Yeah, other than you. Gosh… You’re such a dork…” She couldn’t help but laugh and he grabbed her hand, pulling her close and then over his body. Making her sit astride him. He took her head into his hands, gently, and kissed her slowly and thoroughly.

“Don’t know about you, but… I loved it…” One more kiss. “It was magical…”

Magical, indeed. It was like watching a kaleidoscope change its colors according to the light. One moment Michael was sweet and cute, then funny and dorky, then seductive, charming, sexy. Lisa kissed him back with renewed passion and it took them a while to stop and catch their breath. All the while, she pretended to ignore how aroused he was once again. And she, too.

“It’s just that it felt right. To have us make love like that.”

“Make love…” Cocking his head to a side, Michael seemed to weigh up her words. Lisa lowered her gaze.

“Well… fucking. Having sex… or whatever you wanna call it…”

“No… making love works fine…” He pulled her hair back to take a look good at her face. His expression was soft, intense. “It works perfectly…”

She tried to detect deceit in his eyes, in a way almost hoping to find it because the worst-case scenario was often the only one she knew, and yet she didn’t see anything but honesty. It was dangerous. He was dangerous. And irresistible. He was her truth serum.

She kissed him again and allowed his hands to roam all over her body, his touch stoking the embers just fine.

“Lisa…”

“Mh…” She became enraptured by his neck and started kissing it. His arousal, at this point, was impossible to hide and she faintly wondered how he could keep the conversation going despite being so obviously directed to nowhere-land once again. She had to admire his self-control.

“It felt so new to me. Doing this with you… All of this…”

She kept kissing his neck, her lips moving over to his throat. He tilted his head back, granting her full access, and sighed.

“Yeah… must be because we had never done it before…”

“No, it’s not that. Usually, I just don’t roll this way.”

Well… It looked like Michael really cared about this conversation. Lisa had tried to distract him – and herself, too – by the apparent intensity of their words. It hadn’t really worked out. Whatever he wanted to say, it became evident that he needed her to listen.

Sitting up, she started to caress his chest and loved the feeling of his hands on her, touching her thighs, her ass. She usually was a bit self-conscious, but not with him. With Michael, she could stay naked in his lap, having his dark eyes roam all over her nude body, and feel at ease. Sexy, even. And she loved how he seemed to be just as comfortable – especially after he had looked so shy when he had first gotten naked. As if she cared about those discolorations. As if he was anything but the sheer beauty she saw.

“No? And how do you roll, Mr. Jackson?”

He chuckled, then turned serious. Once again, he took her hands and their fingers interlaced.

“How long are you gonna stay, Lise?”

“Why, you want me to leave now?”

She was only half-joking.

“No. Quite the opposite. That’s why I’m asking.” He kissed her knuckles. “I wish you could stay here with me.”

“How long?”

“Reasonably? As long as I’m staying. For a couple of days.” His eyes narrowed. “Will you stay?”

“For a couple of days? You want me here for two nights, still? But you told me your tour will start again soon. Are you staying here because of me?”

Well… Maybe. Michael hadn’t really planned to stay at the ranch at all. But now… well, now things were different.

“I’ll be in Missouri in about three weeks. That’s where the final leg will kick off. In the meantime, I’ll have to keep rehearsing. But I still have some free time… And I’d love to spend it with you.”

“I see…”

She didn’t seem convinced. Really? How suspicious of everything, everyone she was? He pushed the envelope some more. After all, he could take some risk. Everything was under control. Sorta.

“Also, I wish I could see you again before I leave. And even afterward… during my tour, I mean. It’ll be in the US this time, which means that I’ll never be that far from you, after all. So… If you’re free… If you’re up to it…”

Lisa laughed, a bit forcibly. This whole thing was getting scarier by the second. Not because she didn’t want to see him again, but because she wanted to see him too much and she didn’t like the feeling that went with it. That complete lack of control. This guy, naked in bed with her right now, was also a superstar at the apex of his success. He had stuff to do, places to be… While she had nothing of that sort. She still had to build everything.

“Mike… I can’t follow you around like a puppy. I have a life, you know?”

He just stayed quiet.

“What about these two days, then? We could keep celebrating your birthday…”

She snorted. There was something so endearing in his insistence. Besides… At that very moment, the idea of spending some more time with him, just the two of them, was the most alluring scenario she could imagine.

“Look – this was fun. But you don’t have to do something for me just because-”

Michael shook his head, then flipped her over, coming to rest on top of her. Automatically, Lisa’s hands went around his neck and they kissed. His cock against her center was the sweetest seduction.

“Let me rephrase. I don’t do stuff I don’t wanna do. Ever. I want you here. With me. Possibly in this bed.”

“Well, I’d have to get up sooner or later.” Yeah… maybe joking about it was the way to go.

“But not for now…” One more kiss, his hips sliding against her. She started to lose focus. “Lisa… I want you again… Stay with me…”

Staring at him, Lisa reached down and guided him inside of her. God… how was it even possible? She had just had him. How could it be that she wanted him again with such intensity?

She moaned when he breached her and he too let out a groan.

“Michael… fuck…”

“Yeah… I know… Getting there…”

He was still immobile, and yet her pleasure was already mounting, unstoppable. Was there a way to stop the waves from crashing against the shore? Surely not. And Lisa felt exactly the same way.

“I don’t think you realize what you do to me, girl…”

“That’s why I asked you how you roll…” Keeping her voice in check had become suddenly very difficult, but she was comforted by the fact that he too seemed affected. His eyes glazed over, his steel throbbing, his breathing a bit uneven.

He began to move in slow, languid strokes.

“You’re the first woman I wanna have here… In my home…” He kissed her again and Lisa ran her hands down his back. They came to rest over his perfect, firm ass and she sighed when she felt the way his muscles contracted under her touch. “And you’re the first I can’t imagine leaving anytime soon…”

“Really?”

She swallowed.

“Yeah, really… You do something to me, girl… Something I’ve never felt before. Something I can’t explain.”

“OK… Then show me…”

“Hello?”

“Mom?”

“Lisa Marie! Thank goodness! Where are you? Why didn’t you come back home last night? Are you OK?”

Lisa sighed.

“Yes, mom. I’m fine. I’m just taking a…” Glancing behind her back, she playfully pushed Michael away. How was she supposed to speak normally with him kissing her neck? Was this man ever tired? “…Couple of days off. I need to unwind.”

“You need to unwind? You do nothing at all, how are you supposed to be stressed out?”

Priscilla’s bitchy tone made Lisa roll her eyes. She hated having to make this call. She hated having to justify her whereabouts to her mother even though she was an adult. However, she also was aware that being a grown-up didn’t automatically mean that you stopped behind under someone’s thumb. And she knew she was still under her mother’s thumb in so many ways.

“Well, don’t you worry about that. I just called you to let you know that I’m OK and that I’ll likely be back home on Thursday.”

“Or maybe next week?” Michael whispered from behind her shoulders and Lisa turned, covering his mouth with her hand. When he kissed her palm, his eyes laughing, she melted inside.

God, she was exhausted. And so sated, both physically and otherwise. It was almost noon and she and Michael had finally managed to get out of bed after a pretty much sleepless night. They had maybe been able to rest for a couple of hours around dawn, before once again resuming their lovemaking marathon. It had felt like a never-ending stream of pleasure, and Lisa knew she was already hooked good to this man. She was rushing toward the most dangerous feeling at neck-breaking speed and she had no idea how to protect herself.

The things he made her feel… The ways he played her body. It wasn’t even funny. She knew she had to guard her heart because Michael surely was not someone you could easily forget. It didn’t matter how fleeting what they were doing was.

“And where are you, pray tell?”

“At a friend’s house. You don’t need to worry, mother, I promise.”

“Who’s this friend? Someone I know?”

“Mom – I’m sorry, but I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

No, her mother certainly didn’t need to know that Lisa had spent hours in the arms of a man that Priscilla didn’t like one bit. Too big. Too powerful. Maybe even a little too black for her taste. She didn’t need to know that Michael had wakened Lisa up with a tray of croissants and orange juice, that he had fed her, and then had made love to her again in a way that had made Lisa feel as if she dangled by an invisible wire, right in the middle of the Milky Way. Priscilla didn’t need to know any of that at the moment.

“Well… I’m just asking because I know for a fact that it’s not Danny. He called earlier, asking for you. He wanted to know if you were still mad at him.”

“And you spoke to Danny? Why?”

Of course she had. Lisa winced and, behind her back, she heard Michael take in a deep breath. It was as if the atmosphere in the room had changed drastically the moment Danny’s name had come up. Michael didn’t like him, Lisa had no doubt about that. And why should he, after all? Especially now…

She kept her eyes fixed on the green valley outside the window. She couldn’t deal with Michael too, at the moment. As a matter of fact, she didn’t owe anyone anything.

“Well, yes. Was I supposed to ignore him?”

Yeah, her mother was supposed to mind her own business for once.

“Nothing happened. I wasn’t having fun, so I left. That’s all. No drama, no problem. You and him both just need to let me breathe for a moment, OK?”

Now she was getting miffed. She had called just because she knew her mother would get worried, and Lisa didn’t want that. At the same time, she hated being controlled. And she hated the feeling of being controlled from behind the scenes even more.

“Look, Lisa Marie. You’re a woman now. If you think you need to stay away for a couple of days, I guess I can accept that…” Priscilla backed off, recognizing the change in her daughter’s tone and knowing well that Lisa being defiant equaled to Lisa being even more rebellious. “However, I need you to be here by Thursday. No ifs, no buts. We have to be in Clearwater, you have your auditing session booked later in the afternoon. So… Don’t disappoint me.”

“I’ll see you on Thursday then, mother. I have to go now. Have a wonderful day.”

Her hands trembling, Lisa hung up the phone without waiting for Priscilla to say goodbye, then pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes. Her heartbeat echoed in her ears.

She took a moment just to try to calm herself down, needing the peace, needing the silence. And being glad she had decided to stay away for a while. Michael was an incredible, unexpected plus. Or maybe the center of it all, she was not sure.

“Hey… are you OK?”

His voice called her from behind, reeled her out from the fog of her own anxiety. He sounded concerned. Sighing, Lisa turned.

“I’m good.”

Michael looked at her, his eyes narrowing.

“What did Danny want?”

“Nothing. Why?”

“Then why did he call?”

His cheeks were flushed and she could tell that he was uncomfortable. At the same time, Lisa realized she was this close to losing her temper. She had just been pestered by her mother and the last thing she needed was for Michael to bombard her with stupid questions. Controlling her, too.

“Because he could. Look, I’m gonna take a walk. I’ll see you in a bit.”

He found her in the stables, standing by one of the horses’ booths, finding comfort in the peaceful, calming eyes of the animal. Michael had given Lisa about half an hour, then he had been unable to restrain himself and had gone looking for her.

The reason was still foggy. He wanted to know if she was alright, sure, but he also missed her and he didn’t want to lose a minute of their time together. He also knew he had kind of messed up, acting like a jealous fool and not even knowing why he had felt that way. He just hadn’t liked that Danny, that other dude, was acting all possessive about Lisa. Calling her house, talking to her mother. What the hell did he want?

What had happened the previous night – Michael wasn’t sure Lisa understood the magnitude of it. At least as far as he was concerned. Or maybe he was just good at keeping his poker face in place even when he was not supposed to play poker at all. Even when he was supposed to be honest, transparent and vulnerable.

Which was such a beautiful concept from a theoretical point of view, but quite challenging to deliver in practical terms for a man whose life had always been about guessing everyone’s next move, to be a step forward.

On the one hand, he wanted to be completely open with Lisa. Let all his emotional inhibitions go. He had felt it, felt her, while they were making love. She too wanted the same thing, and she was also guarded. Their walls were high and very thick. When he had slid inside of her for the first time, he had been barely able to keep his eyes open. At the same time he needed to stare at her, see the same passion reflected in those cerulean irises. The way her body had welcomed him had almost killed him with pleasure right away. Too hot, too tight, too sinewy, Michael had thought he would pass out. Lisa seemed to have been created to mold into him so perfectly.

The synchronism of their movements, as if they had been making love forever, had struck him deeply. He knew for a fact that the first times were usually a bit awkward, a bit messy, not necessarily satisfying. However, with her it had been so different – to the point that when his orgasm had started to drag him away, he hadn’t acted as he usually did. He hadn’t closed his eyes and gotten lost in the moment, no. He had grasped her hands and interlaced his fingers with hers and had drowned into her eyes as much as he was drowning into her body. Such an intimate gesture, so different from the normality of his one-night-stands, of his fleeting affairs.

He had sworn not to get too attached to anyone, to keep himself at a relative distance from the women he frequented. However, while he and Lisa experienced their pleasure together, he had also wanted that moment to never end, and that was why he had come looking for her, eventually.

“Lisa…”

“I was going to get back, I promise.”

Her voice was even, and she looked as if she had calmed down.

“It’s OK…” Michael walked over to her slowly. “Do you like horses?”

Still staring at the animal, still stroking his head, she smiled.

“I love them… Always have. It’s one of the good things I have inherited from my mother…”

Grinning, he covered her hand with his own and they both caressed the horse’s muzzle. The animal puffed and closed his eyes for a moment.

“His name is Napoleon…”

Lisa laughed and relaxed.

“Of course. Perfect name for an Ariegeois… Makes total sense.”

His head dropping, Michael smiled to himself and stayed quiet for a moment.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better…”

“I do. Sorry I left that way.”

“No… I mean, I should be sorry. I guess I was maybe a little bit pushy.”

Maybe? This time she did look up and found his eyes.

“And why were you? Why do you think it happened?”

Michael was not sure if hers was a genuine question or a rhetorical one. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

“Not sure. I guess I got miffed that guy called your house.”

“Michael… Danny is my friend. If he wants to call my house, he can.”

“I am under the impression that he would love to be much more than your friend. No matter what you think.”

He kept his voice even, collected. In perfect contrast with the fire he felt inside. Because it didn’t matter what Lisa had told him at the wedding, he was sure Danny was aiming at something much bigger than Lisa’s friendship. Especially considering than she had opened that door for him before – at least sorta-kinda. At least before meeting Michael.

“And you’re not OK with it.”

“Well, it’s not really my business.”

Oh, the bullshit we tell ourselves. Michael almost had to wince at the blatant lie, and Lisa didn’t seem convinced either.

“OK… If you say so.”

“Just like you said you had stopped seeing him?”

Her blue eyes narrowed and her jaw tensed.

“Are you here to talk or fight? He had a birthday party planned for weeks. What was I supposed to do?”

Not going. Accepting Michael’s offer right away instead of making him feel like some second choice. Or whatever. Shaking his head, he sighed. What the hell was wrong with him? He thought of her as an insecure girl, and yet he too was riddled with doubts.

“Look… OK. I just want us to be honest. As much as we can. Because I don’t know about you, Lisa, but I usually don’t ask a girl to stay if she and I are planning to bullshit each other.”

“Then what is it, that you want to know? Just ask. I am not gonna bite you.”

“If me acting… ah, a bit pushy maybe, miffed you. And why. Why you were so mad that you had to leave, earlier… What’s the matter with your mom… And why you didn’t tell her you’re here… with me… as if it’s something to be ashamed about.”

“What?!” Lisa frowned and removed her hand from the horse’s head. “You think I didn’t tell her about you because I’m afraid of what she might think?”

He straightened his back and looked down at her.

“Well… How am I supposed to know? I mean, it’s obvious that your mother doesn’t like me at all. It just makes me wonder…”

“Oh, you think you have all the angles covered, don’t you.”

“No, I don’t. And that’s why I’m asking.”

“No, you aren’t. You’re doing it again, Michael. What you did before.”

OK, now he too was getting mad at her dismissive attitude. As if she didn’t trust him one bit. As if he was somehow trying to trick her. When only hours earlier, he knew she had trusted him with her body so completely that something had stirred inside of him. Something he had not even idea existed any longer.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Really? At Branca’s wedding, only days ago? When you took it for granted that I was in some sort of committed relationship with another dude and fooling around with you anyway?”

Oh, right. Then…

“It was different, back then. I thought…” He shook his head. “She had said…”

“Yeah. She. Not me. See? That’s my fucking problem. People assuming crap. Thinking they know what I want, what I need, what I feel, better than I do. People who think they can control me.”

“Like your mother?”

He moved a step in her direction and she stood perfectly still, not backing off one bit.

“She’s one of them. One of too many.”

“So is that it, Lisa? You’re mad ’cause you got people telling you what to do?”

“Yeah. That’s one of my many fucking problems. And if you too are planning to do the same, you can very well fuck off, Michael. I ain’t taking orders from nobody.”

And just like that, he started to see red. Only, it wasn’t just rage. There was also fear in there, because sure as hell he was not like the people likely surrounding her. He knew about that kind of folks better than Lisa imagined. Another step forward and he grabbed her arms, not tightly, but with enough decision to freeze her in her tracks, as he was pretty sure that she was planning to leave him there like a fool once again. Well, that was not going to happen. She was done running away.

“Listen to me. I don’t wanna control you. I want you to be free to do whatever the fuck you want. I want you to be here because you want it… Because you want me as much as I want you.”

He saw her swallow and that was the implicit confirmation that he had to keep pushing.

“I ain’t gonna talk crap about your mom… ‘cause she’s your mom, OK. I get that. I respect that. But you gotta understand, girl… This ain’t some kind of game for me. I didn’t fuck you. I made love to you. And I think it was the same for you. And so…” He exhaled. “…And so, yeah… Maybe Danny trying to reach out to you is my business… somehow. Because I don’t like him around you.”

“Why?”

Her eyes seemed to have taken a grey hue, making them look as if they were made of steel.

“Because what I feel when I’m with you, I never felt with anyone else. And if it’s not the same for you… If it’s all in my head, and I’m some kind of plaything for you, I need to know now. You gotta tell me right now, Lisa. And then leave. If this is a joke for you, you have to leave and never come back ‘cause I’m not doing any of this.”

They stared at each other for a moment. And then it was as if a rubber band stretched to the extreme broke with a crack and they were kissing. Complete lunacy. In the corner of his mind, Michael remembered that they were alone. A second later, he was pushing Lisa toward the back of the stable, in a secluded area where the sun shone only through a small window. A slice of yellow rays breaking through the darkness.

Panting, they found themselves backed up in a corner, constantly shifting their positions. Lisa against the wall, then Michael. They could barely see each other but what their eyes could not do, their tactile experience supplied.

It was a cold day, the temperature way too low to get naked. However, some unnecessary garments were discarded and when Lisa touched Michael’s skin, it was boiling hot. She needed him with an intensity that was more than concerning. How could he really think that this was a game to her? Did he really believe she would allow any other man to take her that way?

Her words couldn’t take any verbal shape and her lips made up for it in the only way they knew. She kissed him until he was breathless, then traced a route down his neck, all the while opening his shirt with trembling hands. Michael took off his jacket and then got busy discarding Lisa’s coat, unzipping and unbuttoning her jeans. She mirrored his actions and, the moment he pushed her pants and underwear down and she stepped out of them, she freed him from the constraint of his trousers. Holding him. As if he was hers.

Forehead against forehead, they stared at each other in the dim light.

“Does this feel like a game, Mike? Don’t you know… you really don’t know…”

His hand between her legs made her lose focus and she pushed him back, until his back once again collided with the wall. All the while, she crouched down in front of him, grabbing him by the hips with one hand, while the other kept stroking him. Needing to do what she had wanted to do for quite some time now. Something she had not granted him yet – the most intimate contact.

“Lisa…”

Michael’s voice sounded hoarse, but he didn’t stop her. He just looked down at her, one hand coming to rest on her head, stroking her hair.

Lisa gazed up at him.

“I’ve been reckless in the past… Often unsatisfied. Just going through the motions… Like a leaf in the wind. But not right now. Not with you. You gotta understand this.”

He bit his lips. Wanting so much to tell her that he understood. That he had been a shy lover, self-conscious and insecure. And that he had never felt as powerful as she made him feel. Perfect, invincible. He wanted to tell her, but he couldn’t. Not yet. The realization that she had awakened parts of him that were still foreign to him too confusing, still.

“Tell me what you want, Michael… I’ll die if you don’t…” Her face looked pained for a moment. “There’s only a few occasions when someone can tell me what to do.”

Her eyes seemed to shine. Yeah – that, he had noticed. That she seemed to get off when he was a bit domineering. Which was so paradoxical, as she had just told him that she hated being controlled. However, deep down, he knew that this simply wasn’t the case. Control, in sex, was such a subtle animal. Dominance and submission swung between extremes, their contours blurring. The domineering partner only doing what the other allowed him to. The submissive partner being the one indeed in control. But as long as Michael had at least the illusion of control, it was fine. In real life, he wouldn’t have tolerated the smoke and mirrors, but with Lisa it was different.

“Open your mouth…”

Lisa grinned and blinked very slowly, then complied. A handful of seconds later, Michael – and she, too – simply stopped remembering that a world outside their own existed.