Arcana | 22 – The World

Arcanum 22 – The World

Because it has been placed as the final point and in the position of fulfillment, The World indicates a major realization. It is an accomplished person, a soul in full joy, a perfect world, a happy marriage, worldly success. This card can also inspire travel: the discovery of the world in the literal sense of the term.
On the other hand, if the card appears at the beginning of the reading, it will represent a difficult beginning: realization is demanded before any action. The card is not in its rightful place and becomes an imprisonment. We could then look for traces of the first traumatizing experience in the intrauterine life or birth of the person receiving the reading, which has therefore formed an obstacle to future development. If we wish to avoid these kinds of speculations, we will need to take into account the closing evoked by Arcanum XXI placed at the beginning of the spread, and ask ourselves how and why this person is “stuck in his or her shell.”

Epilogue

Los Angeles, California – May 1992

Sitting in the driver’s seat of the black Chevrolet Suburban, Bill Bray glanced in the rear-view mirror and quietly tried to assess Michael’s mood. All the while, he turned left and took San Vicente Boulevard. The traffic was relatively scarce, even though it was about four in the afternoon, and he let out a sigh of relief.

Well… at least something worked the way it was supposed to do. And in days like this, when things that went as they should were very, very little, it was a bit of a consolation.

Slumped in the back seats, all alone, Michael was still quiet and unmovable like a statue. His elbow resting on the car door, his hand holding his chin, he had been staring outside the window for about an hour now and hadn’t said a word. Bill supposed that it was because Michael had already spoken plenty, considering the state he was in when the Chevy had arrived at Hidden Hills.

Bill had been summoned there by Michael himself, who, over the phone, had sounded nervous and irritated. And so, Bill had stopped playing cards with the bunch of friends he had over for the afternoon and had driven straight to Michael and Lisa’s house next to Calabasas. Much to his friends’ – and wife’s – chagrin.

After waiting for Michael outside the gates for about twenty minutes, he had walked over to the mansion and had just stopped at the front door, his fist raised mid-air, ready to knock. Then the noises coming from inside the house had frozen him mid-action.

Whatever it was that had been going on in there, it wasn’t good. Michael and Lisa were fighting, and it sounded like a verbally intense argument. At one point, Bill was pretty sure that he had heard Lisa crying, and then someone had stomped off the room, slamming the door shut. Nothing but eerie silence had followed.

Bill had felt immensely embarrassed. For a moment, he had hated his job and had rolled his eyes. He was about to walk back to the car and pretend that he hadn’t heard anything at all, when the front door had opened slowly and Michael had appeared.

He looked pale and beyond deflated. His shoulders were slumped and it was as if he was carrying an immense burden all by himself. Keeping his head low, Michael had quietly started walking to the car, and Bill had just followed him in silence.

Bill had let a few minutes pass. Then, since being in the car with a sullen Michael was uncomfortable as hell, he had tried to find out what was going on in that discreet, subtle way that he had learned to deliver after years of working as the head of security of the biggest superstar on the planet. Who also happened to be someone that Bill loved like a son.

“Mike…”

“Yes…”

“Is everything OK?”

At first, Michael hadn’t answered. Then, after a bit…

“Yeah. No. Not really. I mean, it will be… Eventually.”

“Is Riley OK?”

“Of course. My daughter is fine.”

OK, good. Hell, he had to ask! Bill had bitten his lip.

“What about Lisa?”

“What about her…”

“Is she OK?”

“I don’t really care right now.”

Bill had smiled, his eyes fixed on the road. Oh, how he recognized that miffed tone!

“Well, fine… But you will, in a minute.”

The minute had passed.

“We had a fight,” Michael had finally murmured, and there was no longer a single drop of venom in his voice. Only sadness.

Bill had nodded his head.

“Well… Couples do that at times. Does it happen often?”

“That we fight? No, not so often. I mean, we sometimes engage in pretty heated discussions, but I love those. They always leave me with something worth the effort in the end…” Another pause. “But crap like the one you likely heard today, well… it’s rare, but painful.”

“And then what happens? I mean… On those rare occasions when you two really fight and it gets a bit nastier than intended… What happens next?”

Michael had once again stayed quiet, and this time Bill had thought that he would simply not answer.

And instead…

“Well… We spend some time apart… And try to cool off, clear the air… and stuff…”

“Stuff…”

“Yeah. I mean… We both do what we gotta do to feel better. Lisa and I… We think about what’s happened. And then, when we’re both ready, we usually… ah… talk some more and patch things up.”

“When you both are ready?” Bill had snickered. He just couldn’t help it. He understood and respected Michael’s anguish, but there was also not a doubt in his mind that he and Lisa loved each other. Bill knew that, given the route they had chosen to take, everything would end well eventually. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that sometimes I am ready to talk and she’s not… and some other time, she’s ready to talk and I’m not…” Michael had sighed. “Our timing… we gotta work on that a little more, I s’pose… We aren’t always great in that department.”

“You mean like at the beginning of your relationship, when you both acted like two stubborn brats and were unable to see what was right in front of your nose? You, especially, deserved to be knocked off. I’m just saying.” Bill had laughed briefly.

“We never did anything of that sort. I have no idea what you’re talking about, Bill.” Michael’s tone seemed to have lightened up a bit. Bill had kept smiling, ever so slightly.

“Yes, you do.”

“I really don’t.”

“Oh, yes, you do.”

Finally, Michael had smiled. It came out a bit half-assed, but it still was better than nothing – given the circumstances.

“…Right… Something like that, I guess.”

“Then, Mike… This too shall pass.”

“If you say so…”

“Why were you and Lisa fighting, by the way? If I can ask.”

“I don’t know… It was about some stupid crap. I am not even sure I remember anymore. But she’s stubborn as hell and-”

“Hey, you ain’t a wallflower either, you gotta admit it.”

“I am rather undemanding and very even-tempered, thank you very much.”

Bill had snorted.

“Right… So it’s all your wife’s fault. That little bundle of dynamite is the only one who’s wrong here, correct?”

Michael hadn’t replied.

“You know why you married her, Mike? You remember, right?”

“Well, in times like this, I really wonder…”

“Bullshit! Guess what – you married the girl because she’s a little bundle of dynamite, that’s why! Because she doesn’t take any crap from nobody, not even you, and you need that. And because she gets you, and that stays true whether you choose to see it or not.”

Bill heard him laugh, dryly, from the back seats.

“Yeah… That’s probably why I did it. And because she’s also so much more than that.”

“OK… that’s better. See? You can be reasonable. Want me to take you back home?”

Michael had sighed.

“No, not now. It’s way too soon. Just keep going. I need to think.”

Bill had stared at the road.

“Alright… Where do you wanna go, then?”

“I don’t know. Maybe nowhere. Just keep driving.”

And now, about an hour of complete silence later, Bill started to wonder how long this little trip would take and if he would ever be able to be home for dinner.

He took Wilshire Boulevard and kept driving quietly for a few more miles. The secluded space of the Suburban was only filled with some jazz music coming from the radio. Glancing at Michael again through the rear-view mirror, Bill noticed that his silent passenger wasn’t even nodding along with the track, as he would usually do in normal circumstances. Now he just seemed lost in thought. Maybe he was finally coming back to his senses, he was starting to miss his wife and felt the need to go back home. Bill surely hoped so.

Then, while driving by the Consulate General of Brazil, Bill’s attention was caught by something. A little tock-tock-tock coming from the engine. Then a knocking noise coming from the bonnet. He frowned and turned off the radio. This was not good at all.

“Michael…”

Michael didn’t reply and Bill slowed down, carefully moving to the right side of the road as he kept listening carefully to the signals that the car was sending. A second later, the tock-tock-tock turned into a series of popping, spitting and backfiring sounds coming from the exhaust.

“Mike!”

“What? What’s going on? Why are you stopping? What’s that sputter sound?”

Oh, the engine was sputtering, alright! Clenching his jaw, Bill did his best to pull over as the car seemed to get heavier and heavier. He was moving really slow, but not because he wanted to. At this point, the Suburban simply didn’t allow anything but a snail’s pace. He ignored someone honking the horn a few feet away from them and kept going.

The moment he was able to finally stop the car across the Fine Arts Theater, the engine died almost instantly, and Bill and Michael just stayed there, stunned. It had never, never happened before and it was as if they both realized that they had not even fathomed that such unexpected accident could occur. Especially not during a very normal, very relaxed drive around Los Angeles.

“What the hell…” Bill murmured under his breath.

“Please, Bill, tell me it was you who switched off the engine.”

Bill chewed on the toothpick he kept in his mouth out of sheer habit.

“I wish I could tell you that.” He tried to turn the key, just for good measure, but the ignition wouldn’t turn over any longer. “But I think something broke. Maybe a piston, or a bearing… or some other moving part. I am not sure. I’m no mechanic, you know.”

More silence followed.

“What are we gonna do now? We need to call someone.”

Bill removed his hat and rubbed his head.

“Well, fuck! The car phone isn’t working either.”

“Shit…” Uncharacteristically, even Michael went for a more explicit choice of words. “We’re kinda fucked then. We gotta go out. Well… you, at least.”

“Mike, I ain’t gonna leave you here in the car on your own, are you kidding me?” Bill turned into the driver’s seat and stared at him blankly. “What if something happens to you and I’m not here to help? Whatcha gonna do, boy?”

“I’m no longer a kid, you know… I think I can deal with being alone for five minutes.”

“Well, good for you. I can’t. So either we go out together, or we think about a plan B.”

“What plan B? We’re stranded, Bill!”

Bill cocked his head to the side.

“We’re in Beverly Hills, Michael. Not in the darn Serengeti.”

Michael opened his mouth to reply and then almost jumped out of his skin when the knock on the car window cut his reasoning short.

Pulling his sunglasses down enough to focus on the person standing by the Chevy, he noticed that it was a middle-aged woman. A normal-looking lady just gazing at him and Bill with concern in her eyes.

“Bill…”

“Yeah, I saw her. Let me get out and take care of it.”

He pushed the car door open and walked around the vehicle, standing in between the woman and Michael’s door. Just in case.

Michael sighed, feeling grateful for Bill’s protectiveness – which had never changed through the years. His father-like figure still treated him as if he was a child, and although it could be obnoxious at times, it was in moments like this that Michael recognized how crucial to his own safety Bill was.

He tried to listen to the back and forth between the woman and his head of security. Still, the noise coming from the cars passing by made the conversation pretty murky to understand. However, after a bit he noticed that Bill was relaxing. It became apparent that he didn’t think of the lady as a danger.

And he was correct, because at one point Bill just turned and bent over a bit, grinning and squinting at Michael through the glass. He looked relieved. He motioned for Michael to open the door and he complied, making sure that the polite mask that always accompanied his public persona was in place.

The moment Bill moved to a side, Michael met the lady’s eyes and smiled. It was one of those things that came very natural to him – almost as natural as breathing. Partly it was because he had been trained to do so, to always be kind and polite, but also because he genuinely loved to interact with people.

“I know who you are!” The woman, lanky and with a head of curly red hair, covered her mouth with her hand and gasped. “I thought it was you, but I couldn’t be sure… This glass is so dark!”

Michael extended his hand but didn’t even pretend that he was going to leave the car. He just sat there, shaking the woman’s hand politely for a moment. He and Bill could deal with one person at a time, and Michael was also sure that Bill had told the lady to please stay calm and not attract any attention, but just in case… He stayed where he was. Given the current situation, the last thing that he needed was to have dozens of people pile on him while he was pretty much alone and defenseless. And without a darn phone!

“Well…” Bill cleared his throat. “…Michael, Miss Sharon, here, was just telling me that a friend of hers works nearby… Someone who runs a car rental company and-”

“Yes! I mean, I saw you guys stranded by the side of the road and before I even knew it was you, Mr. Jackson, I realized that we’re just a couple of blocks away from my friend’s Rent-A-Wreck.”

“Rent a what?” Michael frowned.

“Wreck. Rent-A-Wreck. It’s my friend’s company name. I like it. I think it’s funny. Isn’t it?”

He smiled again.

“Oh! Yes. Very.”

“So, yeah… I was just thinking that my friend Dave might help you out, here. You can rent one of his cars and go back… I mean, go wherever you were headed before this thing broke.”

Bill and Michael exchanged a glance. Bill shrugged, as if to say that what Sharon offered was possibly the quickest and most convenient solution.

“Well, OK… Thank you so much, Sharon. The only problem here is… Our car phone isn’t working any longer. So…”

Sharon smiled.

“Oh, well… That’s not really a problem ’cause…” She rummaged into her purse and extracted a Motorola Microtac. “…I got my portable phone right here. I always have to be available, you know… For professional reasons…”

Pursing his lips, Michael just nodded his head, cursing inwardly for having laughed off the idea of buying one of those things for himself. He couldn’t tolerate having to carry a wallet, let alone that huge object. It would have totally spoiled his look! And then maybe, had he decided differently, now he and Bill wouldn’t be stranded in Beverly Hills hoping that they could go home in a wreck of a car.

Sharon walked away for a bit and kept the phone pressed against her ear, talking excitedly to whoever was at the other end of the line. Bill glanced at her and then turned to Michael.

“Hey… I think I’ll ask her if we can make another call. I wanna make sure our people know where we are, just in case something goes wrong… Or they try to scam us.”

Michael raised an eyebrow. He knew that Bill was right. He had been in the spotlight long enough to know that the biggest smiles often hid the most unimaginable intents.

“Yeah… Sounds good.”

A moment later, Sharon came back – looking elated and very much pleased with herself. Probably she was just happy that she could help, but Michael was still on alert. He had at times scolded Bill for being a little too mistrusting, but the truth was that they had never found themselves in anything like this before. And although Michael craved to experience what ordinary people’s lives felt like, he also understood that it could be tricky for someone like him. It could involve hidden motives. Because he was rich, he was famous, and he was perceived as eccentric. Such a convenient target…

“Well, all set. My friend is going to come here with his truck and pick you up in five minutes. He can’t wait to meet you, Mr. Jackson!”

“And I can’t wait to meet him!”

He flashed his biggest smile and leaned back into his seat, just listening quietly as the woman and Bill talked about this and that. He wasn’t really interested in what they were saying and, in fact, he started to realize that he didn’t want to be there any longer. He wanted to be home, he wanted to be with his wife and his daughter. He wanted to see Lisa and talk to her, patch things up, and even apologize. She was explosive and stubborn, yes, and insufferable at times, but he too could be an asshole. He knew he had some issues in seeing his own behavior for what it was while he was delivering venomous words, but afterward… after he cooled down, Michael’s mind would always become clear. And at that very moment, he only wanted for this thing to be over quickly and go back to where he needed to be.

As he watched Bill borrowing the lady’s phone to make the call, it occurred to him that they had been lucky. Sharon was obviously far from a threatening character. But what would have happened if a different kind of person had recognized him and taken the opportunity to rob him, for example? Or kidnap him.

A shiver ran down Michael’s spine. He had never really felt the danger that his position entailed until Riley’s birth. But now that he had a daughter, his reckless disposition had started to change. Fear and anxiety at anything that could be potentially dangerous for him and his family had become a reality. What would Lisa do if something happened to him? What would their baby do?

His thoughts were cut short by a red truck pulling over and stopping right behind the Suburban, and Michael took a deep breath. He noticed that Bill was once again leaning against the car door – which was still open – in a relaxed, yet protective stance.

Michael turned in his seat and watched a middle-aged man climb down the truck and walk over to Bill. They spoke for a minute, then Bill moved to a side one more time.

“Hey… Hi, I’m Michael.”

Once again, Michael extended his hand. The man, sparse gray hair and old acne scars all over his face, smiled.

“I know! I’m Dave. Dave Schwartz.” They shook hands briefly. “If you guys wanna jump in, we’ll go back to my car rental right away so you can pick a vehicle. Meanwhile, I’m going to send one of my guys here with a tow truck and we’ll see what we can do with your car. We got a partnership with several mechanics around here, you know, just in case you need a quick fixing up.”

“Sure… OK…” Michael grabbed his fedora and put it over his head. “Bill? Are we good?”

Bill glanced around.

“Yeah… I think we’re good to go.”

Dave’s smile became larger.

“Amazing. On our way there, I’m going to call my wife. My stepson is a massive fan of yours, you know?”

“Oh, is he?”

“Absolutely! If you don’t mind, I’ll ask my wife to bring Jordie to the office, so you guys can meet. What about this, Michael – you sign an autograph for him and I will let you hire one of my cars for free. What you think?”

“Well…” Michael’s eyebrows sprung up and he shrugged. “…Sure, no problem. Thanks.”

“My pleasure!” Schwartz pushed himself away from the Suburban. “OK, let’s go then.”

“Alright…”

Michael got off the car after pulling up the lapels of his jacket, hoping to just remain invisible in that short distance that separated him from the red truck. The moment he straightened his stance, a sharp, razor-like flash of pain cut through the lower part of his back and he flinched. He stopped cold and held onto the car roof for a moment.

Bill touched his shoulder.

“Mike? You OK?”

“Yeah… Just a minute, please…”

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know… a cramp, maybe. It’s nothing.”

He took a deep breath and allowed the stabbing pain to slowly leave his body. He had noticed that it happened quite often, as of late. At thirty-five, his back was starting to send very specific signals: he had done so much, for so long, and now he needed to rest more and take good care of himself. Lisa would always tell him the same thing. The memory of her voice filled his ears and the expression on Michael’s face softened. God… He missed her. He needed to go home, to her. He didn’t want to lose her, and he didn’t want to waste any more time fighting foolishly.

“I’m good… We can go now.”

Looking over his shoulder, Michael noticed that Dave was already waiting for him and Bill in the driver’s seat, and that he was on the phone. He was also smiling.

Michael guessed that he was talking to his wife about coming over and meet the dancing bear, tied to a chain by his neck. He realized that he felt slightly blackmailed from an emotional point of view. Of course, he could pay for the car just fine, he didn’t need to rent a wreck for free – but as usual, he had been unable to say no.

Well… It was just a quick meet and greet. He just wanted to do what he had to do and leave.

As he finally approached the truck, followed by Bill, Michael noticed a black car coming in their direction, turn signal on, ready to pull over near the Suburban. He squinted his eyes and realized that it was Lisa’s car.

Instinctively, he smiled.

The car stopped and the hazard lights started to blink. The passenger window came down slowly and Lisa’s beautiful face appeared pretty much out of nowhere. She pulled her sunglasses down on her nose and her blue eyes focused on Michael.

“Hey, guys! Need a ride?”

He exhaled a sigh of relief that he didn’t even know he had been holding. Bill too smiled and pushed his hat back, uncovering his forehead. Touching Michael’s elbow gently, he leaned closer.

“You go with her. I’ll take care of this.”

“No, come with us, Bill… I don’t wanna leave you here.”

Bill studied Michael’s face.

“I’ll be fine. Mr. Schwartz bothered driving all the way over here and offered to have our car fixed. I don’t wanna send him away empty-handed. But you don’t have to come. I can see you’re uncomfortable…” His eyes narrowed. “…And I think you and your girl might wanna spend some time together. How amazing it is that she’s here, by the way?”

Michael nodded, ever so slightly. There was not a doubt in his mind that Bill had something to do with Lisa’s sudden apparition.

“Are you sure?”

“I am sure.”

“What about the man’s wife and kid? I just told him…”

It was just so immensely hard, for Michael, to let go of what he perceived to be his duties.

“I’ll meet them and talk to them and write down their address so you can send them an autographed picture… or something. And I also wanna pay for the darn wreck that I’m renting. I don’t like this one bit. I don’t want you to feel like you owe them something. You don’t.”

Right. Indeed.

“Go. I’ll see you later, Mike.”

“OK… Come over tomorrow, for lunch. With your family.”

“Sure thing… I will.”

Glancing at Bill one last time and then making sure that the path was clear, Michael made his way to Lisa’s car and got in without a word. Lisa’s eyes stayed on him for a moment, and they looked mysterious and aqua-like. Then she waved at Bill, rolled up Michael’s window and sped off.

The following five minutes or so were filled with silence. Feeling a bit uncomfortable, and realizing that all his bravery in resuming any talk with Lisa had kind of vanished the moment he had gotten in the car with her, Michael turned on the radio. Classical music. Just perfect.

He leaned back into the seat and closed his eyes, trying to relax and waiting for the right words to break the ice. Lisa preceded him.

“Are you gonna fall asleep on me?”

Her tone was casual, and possibly a bit amused. Michael kept his own grin at bay, even though he could tell that the atmosphere was already way more relaxed.

God, their fight, earlier that day, had been so nasty. And unnecessary. Maybe they both had been just a little too nervous and had lashed out at one another. Even though he couldn’t really remember what the fight was all about, he knew that he had said things that he didn’t mean and that she had said things that she didn’t mean. She had told him that he was a selfish asshole. He had replied that he was a spoiled bitch. Neither one really thought any of that crap of the other.

“Do I ever fall asleep on you?”

Lisa snorted.

“Rarely.”

“Well, then…” He cleared his throat. Then he removed his hat and threw it on the back seats. “What were you doing around here?”

“Shopping for groceries.”

“In Beverly Hills?”

“They have magnificent avocados just down the road. Pretty convenient, huh?”

“Are you serious?”

“As serious as the IRS.”

“Alright…”

“Oh, by the way… Riley is with your mom and Jackie. They’ll bring her home later tonight, after dinner.”

“OK…”

More silence. It took Lisa almost five minutes to speak again. Her voice, this time, sounded much less casual.

“Mike… I am glad I was there, earlier. When Bill called my car, I was already worried sick. Don’t ask me why, ’cause I don’t know… It was just a gut feeling. I had no idea where you were, and I was afraid you wouldn’t come back. I mean… I know you weren’t in danger or anything, that Bill was with you and that you were safe, but still…” Her tone was serious and sad now, and Michael opened his eyes, turning to truly look at her. “…I always want you to come home to me.”

“Are you telling me you were looking for me around town?”

Hey… Maybe trying to joke would help him control the torrential emotions that he was feeling.

“Nah, you fuckpuddle. I just wanted avocados…” She sighed. “But not as much as I wanted you to come back.”

Michael felt a lump in his throat for no apparent reason, if not that he genuinely wanted to go home to her. Always. Even when they fought and he would leave, he never thought it would be forever. In his mind, going back home was always the end game. But maybe Lisa still needed to be reassured about that. Wholeness and fulfillment always moved through constant growth and soul searching. And at this very moment, he loved her so much that his eyes burned.

“I will always come back to you.” His fingers flexed in his lap. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but couldn’t. Not right now. It was too much, and she was right. Not even he knew why. It was just a gut feeling – akin to the sensation of having just dodged a bullet. “I never want to leave you. Ever.”

Lisa didn’t allow any more stalling and, although her eyes stayed fixed on the road back to Hidden Hills, she reached over and grasped his fingers.

“I am sorry for some of the things I said earlier.”

He had to laugh, and it felt so unexpected and refreshing.

“Some?”

Her lopsided smirk didn’t do anything to tame his amusement.

“Yeah, well… Some were sorta-kinda true, while others… It’s just not what I think of you. I was just pissed.”

“Others like what?”

“I don’t think you’re a selfish asshole.”

Michael just nodded his head and held onto her hand tighter.

“Well, thank you. Just so you know, I don’t think you’re a spoiled bitch.”

Lisa giggled.

“I totally am.”

God… He loved her. So damn much.

“Pull over, Lise…”

“What?”

“I said, pull over.”

Her eyebrows springing up in surprise, she complied. He knew that she loved it when he was a bit commanding.

The car stopped and she turned in her seat, facing him fully.

“There. So?”

Without a word, Michael grabbed her head and kissed her. Hard. Deeply. Passionately. His eyes were closed and he sighed when he felt her cool fingers tangle in his hair.

He pulled back slightly and spoke pretty much against her lips.

“I am so sorry.” He inhaled her scent. “I do love you. Like crazy.”

Her hands moved, caressing his hair. She spoke with her eyes closed.

“I love you too… Let’s go home, Mike…”

“Yeah… Let’s go home.”

He felt relieved. As if Lisa’s sudden apparition on Wilshire Boulevard truly had saved him from something unfathomable. As if she had been at the right place at the right time.

They definitely loved the sanarium they had recently installed in the house. It was perfect after working out – whether it was Michael’s dancing or Lisa’s swimming in the pool – and sometimes to just relax and let go of some tension.

But it was also a fantastic place to make love in complete peace. And benefiting from five different climate zones in one single sauna, having the chance to adjust both the humidity and temperature of the setting, certainly worked as a plus.

Today, they had gone for the aroma bath – much easier to tolerate temperature-wise, especially since their extra workout could provoke dizziness. Neither one of the two wanted to faint in the sauna. And so they had opted for an amazing, multi-sensory experience enhanced by the intense pleasure they were inflicting upon each other. The aroma bowl scented the air. The essential oils soothed the atmosphere. Everything was just perfect.

The sanarium – big enough for at least five people – was filled with moans and sighs as Michael and Lisa made love unhurriedly, pretending that they had all the time in the world.

He was sitting on the bench and Lisa was in his lap, facing him, her arms closed around his neck. One hand clinging to his back, the other entangled in his wet hair. The experience was beyond magnificent on so many levels – from the lack of oxygen, creating a heightened sensitivity, to the heat, increasing the blood flow – and hence the vibration on every inch of their naked skin.

Michael let his hands run up and down Lisa’s back, loving the feeling of her slippery body under his fingers. What a luxury to be in a private environment where they didn’t have to be forced to keep their moaning to the minimum. What a delight to feel free, to be free, to have this balance – continually growing, perpetually evolving. To love each other for who they are, and not for what they had or could give. If anything, Riley’s birth had unveiled that secret: he was in love with Lisa, regardless. He adored that she was the mother of his child, but there was just something in him that told him that he would have been hopelessly in love with this girl even without any babies in the picture.

It was just the way it was.

Lisa leaned her forehead against Michael’s as they moved slowly, languidly. However, every single thrust felt magnified. Maybe it was the position, maybe it was the setting, or perhaps it was just the fact that they were finally making up for real after fighting so badly. Whenever they had sex after an argument, their lovemaking always felt as if it had some hidden, added value.

“I’m glad you won’t be going on tour, you know…”

Her voice, husky and smoky, caressed him just as much as her touch. He swallowed and stared into her eyes, even though their close proximity made her face blurry.

“Yeah… I thought about your decision to not perform live…” He kissed her as his hands descended on her ass and pulled her into him. “…And I said to myself… you know what… what a fucking great idea…”

Lisa smiled and kissed him some more. She caressed his chest in slow, tantalizing circles.

“Well… You’re the boss, baby…” She spoke right against his lips, almost in a whisper. “… You’re solid… You can choose…”

“And I did…”

“Yeah… And I’m so fucking happy with the outcome.”

Oh, he knew that she was happy. He was too. For just a moment, it had looked like he would be forced to engage in another world tour, possibly for a couple of years. But the truth was that he didn’t want to. And he didn’t even have to. He had put blood and sweat onstage for decades, he was done. He wanted to focus on something else. And so, while his new album reached number one, Michael had closed some interesting business deals. Some very good, very convenient contracts that would allow him to just say no and do whatever he pleased. To just stay home and focus more on his music, his art in different, possibly new forms. And most of all, his family.

It all felt like the beginning of a new cycle. Or even better, as if the cycle was over and another one was about to start. It was like a carousel that was about to spin again, and he was ready for a new ride.

So many things had changed in just a handful of years and, if at times he had felt lost and insecure about something, one feeling he had never experienced: it was loneliness. Lisa had always stayed by his side. She was his anchor just as much as he was hers. Neither of them would let the other slip away.

He only had to choose what to do. His active involvement in the world could happen in so many different ways. From music to charity, from plays to movies. Michael was sure that wholeness and fulfillment would be the result of each and every single one of the choices he would make from now on. And maybe, just maybe, he and Lisa could also start considering a new addition to the family… Since he would be home more and all.

It was interesting that, in the past few months or so, they had also stopped taking precautions. Well, she had stopped with the birth control, since he was a lucky man and had never needed to wear a condom with her. Once again, it was such a luxury to be sure that the woman he longed for, every day, with every single cell of his body and every single vibration of his soul, would never trap him. That he could trust her.

Yeah…

He grabbed her head with both hands, kissing her deeply as he kept his rhythm slow and steady. Maybe he would tell her. But later, not now. At this very moment, Michael was way too busy trying to hold on a little longer before the storm swept him away. The pleasure was way too intense to be restrained.

Everything was slowly spiraling out of control in the best possible way, and the fire was starting to mount inside of him. Doing his absolute best to just tame his own body some more, he pulled back slightly, panting. His eyes opened and he saw her throw her head back, her torso arching to the point that he couldn’t do anything but bury his face between her perfect breasts. He inhaled the intoxicating scent of her skin as she started to come, whimpering. Michael licked her nipple, then took it in his mouth as blood began to thump between his temples.

“Oh… yeah… Oh, shit!”

Lisa’s movements in his lap became sharper for a moment as her body tensed and spasmed, doing absolutely nothing for his staying power. Michael gritted his teeth, pulling her into him, burying himself inside of her even deeper.

Lisa’s eyes snapped open.

“I feel you…” Her hands framed his face and she kept her movements steady. “I feel you, Michael… I know you’re there…”

“Say it…” He wanted to stand up and take her against the wall, but his feet felt rooted into the ground. He was allowing her to take the reins and dominate him for a moment and, just like it happened at times, he loved every minute of it. “Tell me…”

She moved her body back slightly and their gazes fell down, to the point of their connection. Lisa stood still for a moment, just breathing in and breathing out.

He knew what she wanted and he resumed moving inside of her, almost imperceptibly. They both felt everything and saw everything. There was just something so sexy in the way their bodies looked when they were connected like that. Their skins shiny and sweaty, their limbs entwined.

“I love you…”

“Say it again.”

“I fucking love you.” Her lips touched his ear and her whisper stroked him like a caress. “And I love to feel you come. I love it when you come inside of me…”

She kissed him hard and he realized that it was time to let go. Her words were the last push that he needed to jump off the cliff and into the water. And so he did.

Holding onto her as if she was the last sprinkle of a nebula in the darkest universe, he climaxed so violently that his head started to spin. Her following him in his orgasm instantly amplified his pleasure and he cursed and moaned, loving the feeling of her hands on his face, stroking his skin, the sharp sensation of her teeth on his neck. His arms closed around his body and he held her close, focusing on the way she kept him entrapped inside of her liquid heat. It was as if everything that he was, everything that he would be, was concentrated in that intimate, perfect contact, and at one point he wondered if he would ever stop coming.

It lasted forever and when he was finally spent, she was too. They were reduced to two panting mess. Lisa’s forehead was leaned against his shoulder and Michael kissed her hair again and again.

“You’re gonna kill me… Man, you’re lethal.”

She laughed, breathlessly.

“No, you can’t leave me. You gotta stay alive. We got stuff to do.”

He giggled and raked his fingers through her long hair, pulling it back.

“Yeah?”

Lisa’s eyes found him, and they were mischievous.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

They kissed. Several soft, gentle pecks.

“Babe…” She too replicated his gesture, pushing some rebellious curls off his forehead.

“What… What you want, Princess…”

“I’m thirsty. What about a drink?”

He smiled.

“Of course… I’m gonna grab some water, ‘kay? You just wait here and relax for a minute.”

He slowly got up, still holding her in his arms. Still buried inside her body. When he finally put her back down, she swayed for a moment and then hugged him, her cheek resting against his chest. Yeah, he knew that feeling.

“No, not water… I want a real drink. There’s a bottle of your favorite wine in the kitchen. How about you take care of it? The evening is still young…” She winked and he kissed the tip of her nose.

“Alright… And then… shower together?”

“Absolutely.”

Michael’s eyes narrowed. There was just something in the way she was looking at him – something that he could not quite pinpoint. But he was so high on the post-orgasmic bliss of their lovemaking that he was probably just hallucinating. Shaking his head, he grabbed a towel and tied it around his waist, then left the sanarium.

Walking into the kitchen, he saw that the LED lights were dimmed down and only part of the counter was illuminated. He also noticed the bottle, neatly placed on the smooth marble surface. It was decorated with a ribbon and a white card was attached to it.

What was going on?

Slowly, Michael approached the kitchen counter with caution, as if it was some alien-like form. All the while, his heart started to hammer in his throat for no apparent reason whatsoever. All this seemed…

…Planned?

He could see that the card sported Lisa’s unmistakable handwriting. He blinked several times, realizing that his eyesight was not as good as he loved to pretend it was. He was willing to bet than in five years maximum he would be forced to wear reading glasses.

Lisa’s swooping, very feminine handwriting welcomed him. A few words. So much meaning in only a couple of lines.

“Drink up, daddy. Your designated driver expires in about eight months.

PS: I was just kidding earlier, my love. Only water for me. You know the drill.”

His vision became blurred and he shook his head as his eyes welled up. He didn’t even flinch when she hugged him from behind. He always felt her presence, even when he couldn’t see her. Her warm lips touched his back and she kissed him softly, again and again.

Holding his breath, Michael put the note down and turned, finding her eyes. They were big and blue.

Her crooked smile made him laugh between the tears.

“Are you for real?”

“I am for real. Our baby is the size of a poppy seed, but it’s definitely there.”

She touched her flat belly through the white robe that she was wearing.

“When did you find out?”

“Last week.”

“Why didn’t you tell me then?”

“Because I wanted to be sure. Even though two home tests said the same thing. So I went to the doctor…” Her hand came up, touching his face. “He called me back this afternoon, right after you left… To tell me that I was right. I am pregnant.”

Michael’s smile faltered and her eyes looked concerned.

“No… Please, don’t. Don’t.” She took him into her arms and he felt as if he was shrinking. Drowning and flying at the same time. He also felt as if she could fully encompass him with her love. “Don’t be sad. It’s OK. It’s all good. You’re here now.”

He smiled, trying his best to get rid of the bittersweet sensation of having risked losing everything for a stupid fight. Of course, he knew that whatever discussion they had engaged in, earlier that day, didn’t mean that they would break up. But making love to her first, and then finding out that she once again was pregnant with his baby, that he would become a father for the second time, solidified the feeling. He did not want to lose her. Ever. He needed her because he loved her.

“We’re having a baby…” He whispered, holding her as if his ability to breathe depended on it.

“We’re having another baby,” she replied, her voice calm and serene. Secure.

It was the sound that testified the beginning of a new journey.

Closing his eyes, Michael took a deep breath and felt lighter all a sudden. As if he was standing on the top of a Ferris wheel, knowing well that the ride was about to resume, and knowing well where he and Lisa were going.

End.