Unraveling – Chapter 11

Chapter 11 – Swing

Lisa watched Michael as he fidgeted with the wine bottle. This time it was red wine, not champagne. Cleaning it, then struggling to uncap it. She knew all about the emotions he was experiencing. This felt somehow like the deja-vu of what had happened when they had first arrived in South Carolina, and yet the circumstances were very different.

“Are you nervous?”

At first he didn’t even reply. It was not because he hadn’t heard – or listened. He was lost in his own mind, as it usually happened as of late. Trapped in a place Lisa only had a vague, flimsy, temporary access to. And this time, unlike the past, she and Michael could not even count on their sexual chemistry, as that too seemed hindered somehow. What had always been the perfect mixture between fire and gasoline, a well-oiled machine that never stopped working flawlessly, had now been tampered with. The debris of their respective mistakes, fears and silences preventing the gears from turning.

Well, if only you hadn’t stopped him earlier this morning. When you were about to make love. If only you had taken that chance in the shower. You know he wanted you. You could tell how turned on he was… just because you were an inch away from him. It never fails. Not even now.

Lisa shook her head to herself and stared into space. Had she and Michael ever talked about their respective inner voices? Those pesky, at times petulant versions of themselves that would always remind them where and how badly they had fucked up? She couldn’t even remember. But right, she sure wished they had, at least in passing, because never before her own inner voice had sounded so lonely and defeated. And obnoxious.

Besides, it was also failing at its job. Because there was absolutely no way in the world that Lisa could resume making love to Michael after that phone call, after that conversation, and after the look that she had seen in his eyes. That scared, enraged, haunted look. The eyes of a man who felt he had been busted. It was just beyond any ability she had to cope with what was going on, and that in itself said so much, given how burning her desire for him was.

Alright, then… Maybe you should at least let him know. That you still want him, that is. Body and soul.

Leaving her safe place in front of the window, Lisa finally approached him. His back was still turned to her. He was facing the kitchen counter and was still engrossed in his task, as if it was the most vital thing to do in the world. She touched his back, her skin finding the soft fabric of the elegant jacket he was wearing. Michael flinched, then seemed to freeze.

“Hey… we can bail, if you’re not up to it.” She scanned his posture. She could tell that he was tense. “I mean, we can call doctor Plumb and tell her we’re not gonna do this. And then send the driver away.”

He put the bottle down and turned to her, leaning his back against the counter. He tilted his head, his dark eyes studying her. Why did he look so sad? Scared, almost.

“Do you want to?”

Now, that was a tricky, dangerous question. If she said yes, he would think that she didn’t want to try everything in their power to fix their marriage. If she said no, well… He might even convince himself that she…

“I don’t like it, but I think we’re here for a reason.”

There. Diplomatic response. His brow still a bit furrowed, Michael seemed to assess her words, then nodded.

“Right.”

Lisa sighed and just looked at him up and down for a moment. God, he was beyond gorgeous, all dressed up for the occasion. He wore black pants and a black jacket, a dark purple shirt and a silk tie of the same color. His black shoes shone. The loafers were gone and he had opted for something more classic tonight. Even though she knew why he had so carefully prepared for the night – because the event required so – a pang of jealousy assaulted her.

“By the way… We aren’t gonna walk on any red carpet, you know… You could have donned something more casual.”

She avoided mentioning that he looked like a whole meal. In fact, she purposefully kept her tone light and playful, even though the truth was that what had happened with Christine made her wonder. What if Michael had changed in a way that Lisa would have never been able to predict? After all, in the past she would have sworn that he was not the kind of guy who would easily take what was offered. She had been wrong.

“Oh, I know. And yet…” He took a deep breath and held it for a moment. “…And yet I would always feel much more relaxed back then… More in control.”

“Yeah. Me too, somehow.” She reached up, wrapping her arms around his neck in a reassuring gesture, smiling at him and doing as much as she could to make him feel more comfortable. And maybe comforting herself in the process, as well. “Even though I’m not a pro in the red carpet department like you are…”

That made him chuckle and his stance seemed to soften. He touched her face with the back of his fingers, a gentle gesture that he had done millions of times before and that always managed to make Lisa feel special, and unique.

“You’re my very personal work of art, Lise…” Tilting his head to a side, Michael pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “…I never liked to share you. With anyone.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, he bit his lips and his gaze dropped. His cheeks going up in flames. Oh, of course… He had just realized that Lisa didn’t like to share him either. And yet, somehow, it had happened. She had shared him with another woman without even knowing. Although this situation right here was so different from everything they had experienced with Debbie, it still felt like an unwelcome jump in the past.

They read each other’s thoughts almost as if they were clear words written on a piece of paper. And despite the horrible feeling, the dreaded suspicion of having somehow pushed him in that direction…

Both times. You think you did this to him. Back then, and now.

…Lisa knew that the love she felt for him spoke even louder.

She tangled her fingers in his hair and brought his head down, kissing his lips in soft, gentle pecks.

At first, Michael stayed pretty much still – just enjoying the intimate contact. So rare these days. When Lisa pulled back ever so slightly, just locking gaze with him, he stared back at her for a few seconds, his face turning serious. She framed his face with both hands and kissed him again, passionately this time, sighing in the kiss. He seemed taken aback for a second, then reacted in the most natural way. Just holding her by the waist, pulling her against his own body, not granting her any escape as he fully engaged in the moment, his eyes closing.

They got carried away like that and it felt so utterly magnificent, to the point that he forgot what they would soon be dealing with. He just hoped the kiss would last forever.

But of course, it couldn’t. Michael was the one breaking the spell and took in a big gulp of air. Almost feeling dizzy. Gently letting go of her, he scanned her attire, from head to toe.

“You’re so gorgeous tonight. Even more so than usual.” He gave her a sad smile. “I wish the occasion was different. That you had different reasons to do that. That I gave you more reasons to do that.”

Lisa wore a short, black cocktail dress and its satin fabric matched Michael’s outfit impeccably. It was classy but not overly formal, perfect for the evening. Sober and simple, the dress showed her perfect legs just the right way and the V-neckline and wide straps enhanced the flawless lines and curves of her torso. She had accessorized it with a little silver necklace and black high heels. With little effort, Lisa could look like a goddess and the realization of that simple, taken-for-granted fact struck him.

Michael wondered if men could get used to beauty when they had it by their side every single day of their lives. He wondered if that was had happened to him too. To become blind to his own wife’s internal and external grace. Well… He would soon find out. He would soon discover if other guys looked at his wife in a way that would make his blood boil.

Maybe that was what he deserved, after all. Some penance.

“You’ve always done that, Mike. Don’t underestimate what you can do to me.”

He chewed on the inside of his cheek, lost in thought. Then he seemed to snap out of some sort of reverie.

“…You know what? I’m gonna go check if the driver is ready.”

Lisa had to scoff.

“Mike! He’s out there waiting for us. You already know that, so don’t worry about it.” She gave him one final kiss. A soft, light peck. “Besides… Weren’t you about to have some wine?”

“Yeah, well… Maybe later. I think we might drink plenty tonight and then…” Sighing, he once again touched her face very gently. “…Then, once we get back here, we’ll see if there’s something that deserves a toast or not.”

The drive to the very exclusive apartment downtown was quiet – another confirmation that Michael was, indeed, way more nervous than he wanted to admit. The reasons were many, and Lisa knew each and every single one of them. That was why she had tried to reassure him as best as she could – needing reassurance in return, too.

First of all, Michael was not a social person per se – and he had become even more private since the trial. He now paid maximum attention to the people he surrounded himself with and his self-control had kicked in like never before. Compared to the couple of years where he had been so lost, so forlorn that too many vultures had been able to circle around him, to close in on him to the point that they all had their claws in his flesh, he was now constantly clear-minded. Afraid that he would be exploited once again if he ever lost focus. Of course, he had so much to lose in letting himself adrift again. He had a whole, complete family to take care of now. A wife, a toddler, and three other kids. And two stepchildren. Lisa knew very well that, despite what had happened with Christine, Michael had never really wanted to disrupt their family unit. That what he had done was the result of a nasty slip-up, and maybe his new version of getting lost into himself again, for reasons that were different than those that had pushed him to the brink in the past.

In the early 2000s, his last, nasty breakup with Lisa had been a catalyst for so much. Now, there was no breakup involved – just some other unresolved crisis that she and Michael had carried with them in their new life.

Then again, that didn’t mean that their predicament could be resolved easily. And as much as Lisa emphasized Michael’s feelings, at times it was just so hard to be calm and controlled when all she wanted was to slap the daylights out of him. Not necessarily for kissing Christine, but for having allowed himself to get there. For not having told Lisa what was wrong with him and how unwell he was. The vase had to be broken into a hundred pieces before they could even try to put it back together, reattaching the fragments with liquid gold. If that was even possible at this point.

As she calmly waited for their car to stop in front of the house, Lisa wondered if this was going to be a make it or break it kind of night. If having to deal with these people would be the end of her marriage to Michael, or his love for her. Because when faced with the temptation, one could only react in two ways: either go with it or realize that it wasn’t a temptation at all. Black or white, no middle ground. Lisa wouldn’t have accepted anything less but one of those two options – either one or the other. Simply resisting the temptation would just not do, because one thing she knew: those sons of bitches would always show up at one point or another.

The driver, a composed, middle-aged guy Lisa and Michael had never seen before, slightly turned in their direction.

“Ma’am… Sir… We’re here…”

Lisa and Michael locked gaze, then he took her hand and nodded at the man.

“Alright, then… Let’s get this over with.”

Fixing his tie and squinting, he waited for the driver to open the door and got out of the car first.

Lisa followed him a bit hesitantly, and it was as if the whole scene displayed in front of her eyes in slow motion. Michael clearing his throat as he scanned the traditional Charleston house – obviously fighting against the urge of running away because this whole thing was so unlike him. Then smiling, politely, as the driver tipped his head and calmly told him that he would be waiting for them there, in front of the mansion.

Twenty minutes later, Lisa and Michael were in a place they had never seen before, involved in what they had heard some of the guests call “a lifestyle party”. Of course, the previous twenty-four hours had been enough to talk about what such parties entailed, and for a moment Michael had been worried that he and Lisa would be the only ones there not wearing a mask, or some sort of disguise. Now more than ever, they needed to blend in and go unnoticed. Be silent observers in a place likely crowded with doers.

The apartment was huge and looked more like a penthouse, and there were about a dozen people there enjoying the evening. Some already knew each other, Michael could tell, while others were only meeting for the first time. It looked like he and Lisa were the only fish out of the water – totally out of their own element.

However, they were not completely unprepared, as doctor Plumb had been pretty clear in her notes. The party was a special occasion and a different setting for Lisa and Michael to explore and discover. According to the therapist, this new experience could be used as a tool to unhinge some of the doors that, in their relationship, seemed to have become locked and rusty. She was so going for the shock factor and, in her opinion, Michael and Lisa would soon understand why they were there. And what for.

Up until this point, Michael wasn’t really thinking about anything. He was still just scanning the room. All in all, he appreciated how privacy-oriented the event seemed to be. Everyone who entered the house signed an NDA and, hopefully, nothing at all about all this would leak to the press. Not that he was concerned. As of late, the media had become the least of Michael’s issues. Plus, he and Lisa had decided that they could trust doctor Plumb. As unusual as her approach was, they had made enough background search on her to know that it often worked.

Often. But not all the time. Maybe you and Lise will end up being the exception to the rule.

Shaking his head, he once again ignored his inner voice and sipped his wine, loving the feeling of Lisa’s hand in his own bigger one. It was weird to feel as if he needed to protect her when he knew darn well that she was strong enough to take care of herself even in such bizarre situations. However, for many of the male guests – and some females too – she looked like a steak dangling in front of the eyes of a carnivore, and Michael didn’t like it one bit.

Almost on cue, Lisa rose on her tiptoes and spoke right in his ear.

“I don’t like the way these women are looking at you.”

He almost burst out laughing, more out of nervousness than anything. Instead, he turned his head and kissed her on the cheek.

“I have no idea of what you’re talking about.”

Her eyes told him that she knew that he was trying to bullshit her, but they were still playful and Michael felt grateful for that. And so, so in love. He wished that he could tell her, right then and there, but again – his emotional ability felt stunted. He swallowed, then handed her his glass, watching her take a sip of wine.

Looking over at the hosts, he noticed that they looked pretty comfortable in their surroundings. It was obvious that this was not their first rodeo, that they were experts in the field. Despite hating this whole thing while being at the same a little intrigued by it, Michael appreciated how the masters of the house seemed to be carrying the entire evening on their shoulders. Also, not everyone’s eyes were on him, which was quite a surprise. He had told Lisa that he was concerned about it, and she had replied that the dimmed-out lights and him looking quite different from his usual public image were probably working in his favor.

Then, of course, Lisa didn’t like to be at the center of the attention either. She wanted to go unnoticed, and if Michael managed to slip through the cracks, so would she. As introverted as she was, she would have never been capable of interacting with these people as if nothing bizarre at all was going on. And Michael… well, despite his well-trained public mask, he wouldn’t have been either. This was something they would have never expected – not as individuals, and certainly not as a couple. A married couple at that!

And so, just like Michael, Lisa scanned the environment and decided to stay put. Standing by the cocktail table, she barely tasted a couple of appetizers as she observed the guests conversing pleasurably.

Then the hosts made their way over, smiling and introducing themselves.

“Hey… It’s so nice to see you. Suzanne told us you would be here tonight, but we weren’t sure you’d show up.”

Michael looked puzzled.

“Suzanne?”

“Doctor Plumb.”

“Oh.”

Lisa shook the man’s hand.

“Yeah, well… We weren’t sure either.”

The master of the house smiled, then began talking. Within about five minutes, he pretty much laid out his resume for his thrilling new guests.

Julian Collins was forty-five and described himself as an American Buddhist that loved bridge and trekking. He was certainly an attractive man, in a pretty good shape, tall and tanned, with shiny green eyes and dark hair. He told Lisa and Michael that he grew up in an upper-class neighborhood in Virginia and that after the death of his father, he was raised by his single mother. According to Julian, his work was the best in the world, hands down, especially because he had the chance to share it with his wife.

He meant Olivia, the other host – who of course, looked just as flawless as her husband.

Olivia Collins was probably forty, according to Lisa’s observational skills, and not a year older. Of course, she was just as attractive as her husband, with her black jet hair and hazel eyes. Tall and with long legs, and all her curves in the right place, she made Lisa feel slightly uneasy. Olivia looked just like the type of woman that Michael would choose for his short films, and that gave Lisa pause.

The feeling that she experienced was so similar to what had been so familiar to her when she was very young. To not be enough. Not tall enough, not striking enough, not memorable enough. Not for Michael, at least. It wasn’t really jealousy – it was more like intense insecurity stemming from a place inside of her that Lisa had believed to be long gone. How wrong she had been. Her own nightmares would always, always find their way back to her at one point or another.

It had taken her a couple of sips of wine to smother that sensation, and now she just stared at the hosts, suddenly feeling far from in control of the whole situation.

The man laughed when Olivia, talking to Michael, told him that she and Julian spent way too much time together, and that she was glad that they didn’t enjoy the same hobbies. Oh, Lisa could tell that this woman found Michael fascinating. And it was no newsflash, because he was.

“…We love having our personal space. And so, whenever he goes trekking, I go sailing. It’s like a quirk for me. He’s on the land and I’m in the water. But we still love to share parties like this one with some amazing guests.”

“We sure do…”

Smiling at his wife, his eyes sparkling mischievously, Julian too sipped his wine. Their complicity was apparent, very visible. After all, it couldn’t be otherwise.

Olivia kept talking in her soft, suave voice for a few more minutes. Telling Michael and Lisa all about her post-graduate in Philosophy before she decided to focus on couple counseling. On sexology, to be precise. Just like Julian.

Michael and Lisa were both stunned. Sexology? The masters of the house were sexologists?

This entire situation was beyond weird. Never would have Lisa expected to find herself involved in a so-called lifestyle party whose hosts were therapists specialized in sex. It would have been hilarious if only it hadn’t been so tragic, to realize that she and Michael had stooped so low. Low enough for their therapist to think that this could be part of their healing process.

Throughout the conversation Michael never said a word, if not for some vague “huh-uh” every now and then. Just to show that he was awake and mentally present.

The fact was that he was not. Lisa could tell that his mind was far, far away, even though his eyes stayed fixed on the couple, and at times moving over to Lisa. He was trying to guess her thoughts and she wished she still had the power to communicate with him without words. They both had had that power in the past, but now it seemed to have disappeared together with another million little things.

“Can I ask you something?”

Michael’s sudden question startled her and she held onto his hand tighter. She also took another glass of wine the moment a waiter passed by with his tray. Yes, she needed some more alcohol to get through this. Whatever it was… or would end up turning into.

Julian did not seem surprised by the sudden interruption.

“Of course. That’s what we’re here for. To answer all your questions. We know this is a first for you.”

Michael’s eyes narrowed and Lisa knew that he did not like that guy one bit. Michael found him suspicious, maybe even a tiny bit slimy.

“Is it really necessary to indulge in such personal matters? This small talk, that is. We’re not here to become friends or anything.” He leaned back against the wall in a protective posture. “I am not an expert on the matter, but as far as I know, Plumb is our therapist, not you…”

Olivia tilted her head as if agreeing with Michael. And Julian, too, nodded.

“That’s indeed an excellent point.” He turned serious. “No, all this isn’t necessary if you don’t want to. In fact, everything that happens tonight will depend on what you are willing to do. Or not. But see, in my experience, some couples like to-”

“Lisa and I aren’t just some couples.”

Lisa put the glass on the table and sighed.

“Michael?”

He kept staring at Julian, as if he hadn’t even heard her. Lisa tugged at the sleeve of his jacket and he blinked, very slowly, finally turning his head in her direction.

“Mike… Can you come with me for a second? I gotta tell you something in private.”

He peeled himself off the wall deliberately and in a very controlled manner, then followed Lisa in a secluded corner of the room.

Lisa pulled Michael into the dark hallway that connected the huge living room to the just as impressive kitchen. The guests’ voices became an echo in the distance and she felt dizzy all of a sudden. She didn’t know why, but her legs felt mighty wobbly and her heart was up in her throat. Glancing up at Michael, she noticed that he was looking over his shoulder, as if he expected that someone would follow them there. His whole body seemed as tense as a violin cord.

“Michael…” Once again she tugged at his sleeve. “Baby… Look at me for a second.”

Half-heartedly, he complied.

“We’re going pretty much unnoticed. Except for those two, I mean. I gotta say I’m surprised. Aren’t you?”

“What?” Lisa frowned. “Look, I wish you wouldn’t be so antagonistic. Why are you being so openly hostile to that guy?”

He grinned, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“This is far from me being openly hostile. You should know.”

“Sure, alright, but I still think we should lay low and don’t make a fuss. What is your problem?”

His eyes narrowed again in that posture that always preluded a storm.

“My problem? That guy looks at you as if he wants to fuck you on that damn cocktail table and I’m supposed to be okay with it? Is that what you’re saying?”

Lisa had genuinely not noticed anything of that sort, but she knew something about Michael’s jealousy. It was a well-kept secret to most people, but not to her. She had seen flashes and glimpses of it through the years, and although he loved to pretend that he was not that kind of man, he was. The only surprising thing was that he felt threatened at a moment when the very thought of any other man would never cross her mind. How could he not see that? Even worse, how many things he had become blind to, when it came to her? To their relationship? Didn’t he feel secure?

“I don’t think that’s the case at all, and certainly that’s not what I was trying to say. Don’t put words in my mouth now.”

Michael rested his hands on her shoulders and bowed his head to fully intercept her eyes.

“Lisa… This is a fucking swingers’ sex party and just got off to a bad start, in case you haven’t noticed. Remember what the notes said? That it was just going to be an observational experience for us? Well, these people don’t seem to care.” He swallowed. “And I can’t even blame them, because you are… You look…”

He shook his head and his words faded off. For the umpteenth time, that look of pain on his face. Lisa didn’t know how long she would be able to tolerate a wound that she had never seen appearing in the first place. She had no idea when and how he had gotten hurt so much. All she knew was that he kept bleeding. That everything even remotely connected to her, now, made him bleed.

It was too much.

“Listen to me. Maybe we should just get the fuck out of here. Tell them that this is way too awkward for us.”

Her voice sounded weak. As much as she had been able to control herself for weeks, all of a sudden she felt as if she no longer had any energy left.

She saw Michael’s head drop forward and heard him take a deep breath. He stayed quiet for what felt like forever, as still as a statue. Then he glanced up at her again.

“No. We’re staying. I’m not running scared from this. And neither are you. We…” He swallowed and blinked, then moved even closer and into her personal space and Lisa’s eyes widened. She had not been expecting his reaction at all.

Michael’s hands framed her face and he leaned his forehead against hers. Speaking almost in a whisper, and yet letting that low baritone voice that always managed to do a number on her emerge.

“Together, we can face everything. You and I.” He sighed. “I don’t doubt you. But I can see it, when other men want you.”

Without even thinking, Lisa too reached up and replicated his gesture. She felt his soft, short beard against the palms of her hands.

“I don’t care what he thinks of me. And when it comes to you… I want you to know that I’m not worried. I just feel a bit uneasy.”

“I know, Lise. I do too. But remember? We promised…”

“…We said that we would do anything. Yes, I remember.”

“This is weird, though.”

She had to smile at how naturally his words came out. Devoid of any self-defense mechanism.

“You’re right, it is.”

They kissed. With abandon. No restraints, no fears – or maybe there was plenty of fear there, but had become clouded, shrouded by a blanket of passion that they were both too tired to contain. Choked by their need of being close, complicit, one.

All of a sudden Michael broke the kiss. His eyes scanned her and Lisa felt naked. She could see, feel, taste his desire. And his restraint. There was some odd mixture there, too. Hope, expectations, concern, and confusion.

“Besides…” His voice sounded affected, and he was slightly breathless. It did something to her to see him in such a state, for so little. A kiss, nothing else. Even though maybe what they had been experiencing was so much more than that. “I really wanna see what happens next…”

Now, that was absolutely predictable. Michael was curious by nature… And he loved challenges. He would never, ever leave the premises without having regained full control of the whole scenario. And Lisa had always adored that stubborn, assertive side of him. Even more so now, since it too often felt buried under a massive pile of bullshit.

She caressed his neck, then held onto the back of it. She kissed him again, softly this time.

“Yeah… And whatever that is, we are a team. You and I.”

He stared at her again and seemed to hesitate – and again she wished, with all her heart, to still have the talent to read him like she did in the good old times.

“Lisa…”

“Yeah…”

He swallowed hard and kept framing her face.

“I am so in love with you.”

Had he slapped her, the pang would have stung less. How many times had he told her that he loved her since their little getaway had started? And every time he did it, she feared it would be the last time. That he would no longer be there to say it again. She felt tears burn behind her eyelids when she closed her eyes and held onto him for dear life. The sensation was almost painful in its intensity. She felt breathless and dizzy.

“I am in love with you too.”

His eyes sparkled.

“Then… Let’s handle this.”

Their intimate moment must have not gone unnoticed, because the moment they walked back into the spacious living room, several guests were observing them with renewed interest.

Julian and Olivia were no longer by the cocktail table. They were standing by the French doors, across the room, and quietly speaking to each other in a very low voice. It was evident that they had noticed the shift in Michael’s mood, but they did not seem too bothered by it. Lisa wondered how many times those two had gone through the same actions and reactions, and with how many people.

Michael took her by the hand.

“Let’s go over there. Let them stare. I don’t give a shit.”

She followed him quietly, almost bumping into a couple of people who stepped closer, as if they wanted to start some sort of conversation. It was obvious that Michael was not having any of that. His protective, possessive streak had now come out in full force and she knew that complying with him was the best option. With time, she had learned to trust his gut feeling – especially when it matched hers.

They sat down on a small sofa, somehow managing to mingle in the posh private apartment. The new perspective was way more privileged than the previous one, because up until that point the guests crowding the room had made the totality of it vague and unfocused.

They watched the guests quietly, and Lisa noticed that everyone was dressed up for the night. The women were in party dresses, the men in suits. It would have all looked like some sort of corporate event, hadn’t it been for the chair sitting right at the center of the room, illuminated by a small spotlight. It was still empty, but a 1920s-style feather boa had been put across the backrest. The feathers, blue and purple, sparkled in the light.

Before she could wonder what would happen next, she felt Michael’s slow, regular breathing against her ear.

“I can count at least five different categories of people in this room.”

Unexpectedly, his whispered voice had now a playful undertone that almost sounded misplaced. She turned to look at him and his eyes were slightly impish. It made her smirk.

“Yeah? Tell me more.”

He pulled her closer to his body and straightened out his legs, crossing his ankles in a very relaxed posture. All the while, he reached up and loosened his tie. His fuck it attitude did something to Lisa and, out of sheer instinct, she rested her hand on his chest. If this was the game he wanted to play, if this was his way to mingle and not look too much out of place, she would follow his lead. After all, every new experience felt enticing the moment she realized that she and Michael were, or could be, a solid unit.

“Well… First of all there’s the networkers. See that lady over there?” He vaguely tipped his head in the direction of a woman who looked classier and a little older than the rest of the guests. She was talking to a man and handing him a business card. “She’s obviously not here for the sex. She just thinks some of these people can help her business… or she just wants to be in their circle. Her chaperon looks like-”

“…An employee,” Lisa finished at his place and Michael grinned, then nodded. She smiled, finally relaxing a bit.

They had played that game before. Trying to guess people’s professions, hobbies, or whatever, just by watching them. It had been one of the things they had shared the most at the very beginning of their relationship, when everything was new and somehow unexplored.

“Keep going. I like your observational skills.”

“Alright… Then we got the pros. Yeah, I think mine is a pretty good definition. Very fitting. Look at those two dudes…” Once again he tipped his head, vaguely indicating a couple of guys who were a little too good-looking to not be noticeable. Although they were clearly there together, Lisa could see that they were not a couple. They looked like professional models and casually glanced around the room and talked to everyone who approached them.

“What do you think about them? They sure look like studs.”

Alright, she had to admit that her choice of words had been purposeful. Just to evoke a reaction in Michael. And react he did, since he turned and stared at her without a word. Lisa laughed.

“But not as studly as you are, daddy.”

The little pet name slipped out almost without her noticing. How long since she had called him that? It felt like centuries. He too must have noticed, because she saw his cheeks redden. Yeah… It was nice to know that some things still had the same effect on him.

Just for good measure, she kissed him gently on the lips. Just a little peck. Despite his coming and going penchant for making out in semi-public spaces, she was not sure that he was down for this. Pulling back, she touched his cheek.

“You were saying?”

Michael cleared his throat and stared at her lips for a moment.

“…That they’re probably here to encourage people to socialize, more than to fuck them.”

It was now Lisa’s turn to feel the familiar heat in her belly. It would always, always happen when Michael’s usually polite and clean vocabulary disappeared, leaving some space to that dirtier, darker side of him.

“Okay…”

“Those three couples over there are voyeurs, I think. As soon as the party truly begins, they’ll be watching other people having sex. They won’t engage, but they’ll get off seeing others do it.”

“That’s the worst I would let you do, by the way,” Lisa joked, as once again she grabbed a couple of glasses from one of the waiters passing by.

“Yeah? You mean I can’t have sex?”

“Not with anyone but me, no.”

She had to admit that the wine was a great help in letting her most intimate thoughts leave the strict confines of her mind. No way she would have been able to say anything like that while sober. And no way she would have probably been that blatant before that very night. She saw Michael savoring the words, tasting them, digesting them. She saw the satisfaction and hope in his eyes. She also knew they were far from an actual resolution of the core issues plaguing them, but this was something she had not even taken into account. She was just happy to discover that she could still amaze herself.

“What’s the last one…”

“The last one what…” Michael was still dangerously close to her mouth.

“The last category of people in this room…”

“Oh…” A small smile stole on his lips. “The ones who were dragged here somehow… People like us. You know, looking clueless and amused at the same time. The ones that have that mutual pact to leave if either of them wants to at any point.”

He was right. But suddenly, Lisa hoped that they would stay for a little longer. Not for the party in itself, no. Just because she and Michael, once out of their element, seemed to have found a new rhythm and she was sinking into him once again. And nothing, nothing could ever come close to that sensation.