Unraveling – Chapter 13

Chapter 13 – Claiming

Michael didn’t mind those people playing. In fact, had it been for him, he was not even sure he would have truly been interested in taking a closer look. But having Lisa by his side had always transcended everything he thought he knew about himself, because she had the power of turning him into a much bolder, darker version of himself. Much more sexual, confident, intrinsically free. And in this case he certainly could use some self-confidence, because he also was still so fearful.

Yet, at one point during the night, Michael had started to relax. The wine of course had helped, but feeling as if he and Lisa were the most regular couple in the house hadn’t been half bad either. It was nice not to feel like the bizarre one for once. Plus, seeing her so calm and collected, at times even genuinely amused, had prompted him forward. As time went by, he had become more audacious in his flirting, touching her, kissing her, holding her, feeling her lithe body mold into his. His defense mechanisms had lowered. If she was ready to face this, then so was he.

As Lisa watched the scene in the second bedroom, almost spellbound, he had just stared at her. Of course, he too had glanced at the bed and could tell what was going on, what game those three people were playing, but he wasn’t interested in the slightest. He was getting bored of the party but also felt so totally into his wife. And so he had held her, quietly listening to the music playing in the background – the original version of Bobby Darin’s Beyond The Sea. It had been released in 1958 – the year Michael was born. Talk about coincidences.

“…It’s far beyond the stars
It’s near beyond the moon
I know beyond a doubt
My heart will lead me there soon
We’ll meet beyond the shore
We’ll kiss just as before
Happy we’ll be beyond the sea
And never again I’ll go sailing…”

He had just reveled in the moment, thinking about how many times he had held her like that. How many times they had swayed to the music together, dancing slowly, and how it had pretty much never really happened again since they had gotten married for the second time. He knew they had shared many happy moments in the past few years, and yet everything was a blur in his mind. The sensations evoked by those memories were there, but the visuals were fuzzy, unfocused.

Maybe the therapist that had followed him after the trial had been right after all. Severe post-traumatic stress disorder needed a long time to start healing. And in the meantime, it would have repercussions, leaving its smeary fingerprints everywhere.

There had been a time in the past when everything but Lisa just stopped existing for Michael, whenever she was around. Then, it had been his entire life that had started to float into some unknown void, suspended in the atmosphere. Sheltered and still, while the rest of the world kept moving. While his own wife tried to slow down the clock just because she wanted to wait for him. Wait for him to get better.

But you’re lost in contemplation, aren’t you Mike?

Yeah. Yeah, he was. Or had been. And indeed, he had been so very lost when he had decided to meet with Christine in that bistro. When he had followed her into that car, when he had kissed her. When he had allowed her to touch a part of him that was only reserved for Lisa. Albeit for the shortest moment.

Well, now he had been slapped awake. Holding Lisa tighter, Michael had inhaled that scent that was uniquely hers and, just like that, with no prompting whatsoever, his whole system had gone on overdrive. Swallowing he had tried his best to get a grip on himself, but there were just things that were beyond his control. His longing too strong, the constant pushing and pulling too extenuating, the hunger too ravenous, the fear of losing her – intolerable. He was starving for her.

So much pain. And so much desire.

And just when he had started to think that this was what they needed, and that she was into this as much as he was, Lisa had frozen in his arms. Her body had gone rigid and she had turned in his embrace, her eyes narrowing. Looking at him as if she wanted to slap the daylights out of him right then and there.

What the heck was going on? What had he done now to piss her off?

“What happened?”

His question was tentative because really, he was clueless. She had stared at him for a moment, her eyes had dipped south, making him blush, then up again.

“Nothing.”

Michael had studied her face.

“This ain’t nothing. You look upset. What’s going on, Lisa? Tell me. Talk to me.”

She had finally averted her gaze as if she could not stand the scrutiny.

“I said, nothing. I just think it’s time we leave.”

“What? Why? I thought you wanted-”

“Well, I changed my mind.” She had shifted and he had straightened his stance, effectively preventing her from walking away. “Get off my way, Michael. I’m going out.”

Whoa.

She had started to march down the corridor and toward the stairs and, at first, he had just stood there, stunned. Then he had glanced back into the room. His observational skills had always been amazing, if only he decided to focus on something – and yet this time he had totally fucked up. He had not been able to see what Lisa had seen. He still couldn’t.

In the bedroom, the man was fucking the girl in earnest and his wife was observing the scene as if she didn’t belong there. And it was very possible that she didn’t. In a handful of seconds, Michael had noticed the matching wedding bands, the rapture on the husband’s face, and the intense sadness in the older woman’s eyes. Sitting by the bed with a cigarette and a drink, staring at his own partner almost in a daze while being utterly invisible to him at the same time. All in the same breath.

Blinking, Michael had realized what the scene must have looked like to Lisa. And also where her train of thoughts might have taken her. How it must have troubled her.

Shaking his head, he had gone after her. His pace was quick and confident, like it hadn’t been in quite some time. It was because all of a sudden the pervasive feeling of possible loss was all that ran through his veins. The delusional idea that, if only he let her go now, she would never truly come back to him.

And so he had moved.

Before Lisa could really reach the staircase, Michael had grabbed her by the arm and all the while had pushed another door open. It was a bathroom, and thankfully it was empty. He had dragged her inside and kicked the door shut. Locked it too, for good measure, because he didn’t want anyone to interrupt them.

Now, as he stared into her eyes, he noticed the sheen of tears that she was not willing to spill. Not for him and possibly not anymore. It destroyed him. It was another jab at his already tattered ego, to see this woman who had always worn her heart on her sleeve being once again unable to truly express her feelings to him. As if she could not trust him anymore. As if he was not worth it anymore.

“You’re such a fucking punk. What the fuck do you think you’re doing, dragging me in here like that?”

Her voice was still apparently calm, but there was a dangerous undercurrent there.

“If you think I’mma let you leave while you behave like this, you better think again, babe.”

Lisa winced.

“You have no idea what I’m thinking, babe. Move the fuck away. I’m going back to the car.” She placed her hand, palm flat, right against Michael’s chest. Even though she knew that his size would prevent her from leaving the room as long as he wanted. “And don’t worry about me going back without you. We have a driver tonight, remember? So you do your thing and then reach me out there – whenever you’re ready. Or whatever.”

“Do your thing? What does that even mean?”

“Whatever you see fit, I guess. Now get off my way, Michael.”

His hand closed on her wrist, gently but with determination.

“You know what? You’re right. I don’t know what goes through your mind lately. I can’t read you anymore.”

“And that’s only one of our many issues, isn’t it?”

“Maybe so.” He removed her hand from his chest and leaned back against the door instead, making his position about the whole situation more than clear – not only metaphorically. “And maybe it’s time we at least start taking care of this. So talk to me.”

Lisa shook her head.

“There’s nothing I gotta tell you.”

“Why aren’t we making love?”

Alright. If she wasn’t going to be the one opting for a face-off, then he would be. And quite uncharacteristically, Michael decided to go straight to the point. He knew Lisa. He knew that throwing her off-balance would likely generate an honest, primal response.

She scrunched her eyebrows, surprised. Stunned, really.

“What?”

“We aren’t making love. Why? I know you want me. I feel it.”

Lisa snorted.

“Oh, I felt it too. Earlier, I mean. While you were watching those two getting it on in front of that poor woman. You wanted to join them? You can do that, you know. I mean, if you want-”

“Is that what you think? Are you for real?” He stepped closer. “That I got sprung because I was turned on by what those people were doing?”

If right now she told him that she believed she had become undesirable to him, or that he was wrong, and that he had become undesirable to her, he would die.

He knew that he had fucked up. There was no morning since that day when he wouldn’t wake up thinking about what he had done. How against everything he had always believed in it was. How it threatened his family, his future, his sanity. For several days after the fact, Michael had been unable to look at himself in the mirror. And now it felt as if the situation was finally getting out of hand. Make it or break it.

“I don’t know what turned you on.” Her expression turned pained for a second. Just a tiny split of an instant, but enough to reveal her vulnerability. “Sometimes I feel like I don’t know you at all, Michael. Not anymore.”

Without warning, irritation arose in him and he grabbed her by the arms. Did she really think that he was so vile? That his instincts were so basic? That he didn’t care for her at all?

“But you do! You know me. You fucking know me better than anybody else. And what you felt earlier…” Shaking his head, he licked his lips, trying to dissipate the fog that was starting to cloud his mind. “…I wasn’t even paying attention, I swear. I was watching you, not them! I was staring at you! So what happened to me… it was for you, and nobody else. Christ, woman, I wish you would just believe me.”

Lisa squinted her eyes. Her whole demeanor told Michael that she was trying her hardest to fight off his attack. But his attack was guided by love and he was not going to let her ignore that tiny detail any longer.

“…And besides, Lisa… let me ask you something else that I been wanting to ask you since the shit hit the fan…” He shook her, ever so slightly. “Do you even care?”

“What are you talking about? Do I care? About what?”

“About believing me. About wanting to believe me still. And most of all… about me fucking up. ‘Cause I damn sure know I did. But do you even fucking care about that? What I did? Do you even care that I kissed that woman? Because at times you don’t look like you do. And if you don’t love me anymore, if I broke your heart to the point that you can’t even be honest with me and tell me-”

The slap came without warning.

It surprised him, not only because of the naturalness of it, but also because it was, all in all, quite light. As if Lisa wanted to tell him something without words, but also without too much pain involved. While she should have known that no slap could ever match the heartbreak that his own behavior – and its consequences – had caused him. The disappointment in himself that he had been experiencing pretty much nonstop.

But there was also something else, now. In that foreign environment, in that occasion that was anything but normal, her behavior – this running hot and cold – both irritated and aroused him. One minute she looked like she wanted him, and then… Then Michael felt as if she hated his guts.

Lisa stared at him and he acted on impulse once again. After all, what had tiptoeing around brought him so far? A big, fat nothing. A wife that too often looked like she couldn’t be in the same space where he was.

Well, she couldn’t run away anymore. It was too late.

Grabbing her by the head, Michael pulled her close and kissed her hard.

At first, Lisa went rigid again. She tried to push him back and off her, her hands pressing against his chest. Then her fingers closed in on the fabric of his shirt and jacket and what had initially been a sign of rebellion turned into a grab. One hand grasped his shoulder, the other dipped into his hair. Her lips parted and she welcomed his tongue in her mouth.

Michael’s heart soared and his body once again reacted on autopilot – a complete, sheer short-circuit caused by the unprecedented sensory overload.

And then, just as quick as it had begun, it stopped. Lisa broke the kiss, moved half a step back and slapped him again. Even lighter than the first time around, while her eyes still bore into his. She was enraged. And she was also turned on.

He set his jaw, then grabbed her again, by the waist this time, and forced her to turn around, all the while pushing her against the locked door. Trapping her. His face hid in the crook of her neck and his lips found her skin. It was hot and almost scorched him. He felt her frantic heartbeat, her body heating up as he began to kiss her. And her hand reached up and back, stroking his hair again as she began to pant. In their ancient, never forgotten dance, he started to move his hips against her backside in a slow, tantalizing way – making her feel what she did to him.

“Michael…”

Her tone sounded both like a plea and an admonition.

She sure was full of mixed signals, but he didn’t care. He recognized her language, it didn’t matter how foreign it sounded. And also, he was relieved. Those two slaps – which had been anything but painful, really – had managed to make him feel better. Because if she finally got mad at him, then it meant that she still cared. That she couldn’t keep her mask on all the time. In fact, those two slaps were the most endearing gesture Lisa had bestowed upon him in the past few weeks.

“I love you… And I want you… You have no idea how much…” His words came out almost chopped. “Please don’t make me stop…”

Lisa turned her head and they kissed, with abandon and no restraints at all this time.

Michael knew that this was not the place to do this. He was aware that the most logical thing, the smartest thing, would be to cool off for a bit and then leave, go back to the car, just like she wanted. They would be able to sort this out once back at the mansion. And yet, he realized that he could not contain himself any longer. He was terrified of losing the momentum, of her getting all cold on him again, of having to refrain himself one more time – like it had happened earlier that morning – because of circumstances that were beyond his control. Beyond their control.

No. He would not allow anything like that to happen again. She was his priority, she came first.

And just like that, he realized how that had been one of the issues that had always plagued their relationship, married or not. Lisa had always felt as if she wasn’t a priority for him, as if something else always came first. His music, his fans, his art, his duties, his business.

Had she been right, somehow?

As he kept kissing her, getting lost in the most intimate contact that two lovers could share, Michael started to wonder. For the very first time, he wondered and tried to see things from her point of view. He knew how much she had always meant to him, but had he been able to make her aware of that? To wash away her doubts, her fears? To make her strong and confident in their love, in their commitment?

No, brother. Maybe not so much, or maybe not the way she would have needed. After all, only a bunch of weeks ago you were this close to cheating on her. And you know why? Because you felt lost and you didn’t want to tell her. While instead you should have more faith in what you two share. Or shared…

He hated his own inner voice with a passion. And when it sounded so much like himself, when it held that sarcastic tone that Michael, the man, would at times deliver in private, he hated it even more.

But right now the voice was easy to shut off, because Lisa’s tongue sliding against his was everything he felt. Sighing in the kiss, he loosened his grip on her waist and turned her around again, wanting to see her face, needing to have her body pressing against him. Immediately her hand dipped down, caressing him through his pants, almost making him jump out of his skin. Her touch felt scorching, and yet he trembled. Keeping his eyes closed, he covered her hand with his own and all the while his hips pushed forward.

“Don’t make me stop…”

Lisa whimpered, and the soft sound once again shocked his system. When had he become so sensitive to every little thing?

They moved together and her back collided with the door one more time. She wore high heels, making everything easier – even though Michael loved her lithe, tiny frame. Loved picking her up and having complete control over her goddess-like body whenever they made love. She was such perfection in his eyes, and even more so now, that she was more mature. She was all woman, feminine, heavenly.

“I don’t want you to stop…”

The words came in a whisper against his lips, in between kisses. It was all the reassurance that he needed.

All the while she kept caressing him, then broke the kiss and stared down, at the way their hands looked together. Connected, his bigger one on top of hers, their fingers entwined. She used her other hand to unbuckle his belt, unbutton his pants and pry the fly open. Michael swallowed, then kissed her forehead, inhaling her scent. He was not sure that he would be able to hold on much longer, and yet he hoped in a small miracle. He didn’t want this moment to end.

Needing a bit of distraction from the onslaught of sensations – physical and otherwise – that he was experiencing, he tried to ignore her warm fingers finally finding him inside his underwear and bounced her dress up, reaching around and stroking her perfect bottom. Her smooth skin, those flawless curves. God… maybe this was not the kind of distraction that a man on the verge of coming like a virgin needed.

Lisa wore very skimpy panties and breaching the thin fabric wasn’t a problem for him. Although her body was giving him all the signals he needed, Michael still wanted to make sure that she enjoyed this reconnection just as much as he did. His fingers ventured beyond the barrier of her underwear and managed to trace that heavenly V in between her legs.

He had to close his eyes for a moment.

“Lise… baby girl…”

He felt her hand on his cheek. Not slapping him, but caressing him this time. Opening his eyes again, he found hers. So beautiful…

She blinked and he realized that he had said the words out loud. Her other hand was still on his penis and started to stroke him, slowly at first and then with an increasing drive. Her grip on him tightened and her motions intensified. Her breath became uneven. Her fingers tangled in his hair while she held his mouth close, nipping at his lips, then kissing him in complete rapture.

Her administrations did a number on him and he stumbled lightly, leaning forward and against her in the process. Touching her again in between her legs, he almost felt as if he had dipped into liquid fire. Then she shifted, ever so slightly, not really allowing him to have her that way any longer. Michael tried to pull back and say something, but she brought his head down again and found his mouth one more time. Everything else became nothing but a big cloud of ecstasy. If this was what she wanted, he would give her everything. And then some more.

His body started to tremble and he spoke right against her lips.

“Baby… Fucking shit… You’re so good at this… You touch me so well… Careful down there… I don’t think… I can hold on much longer…”

Lisa finally let go of his head and reached down, caressing his testicles, making his head spin. He pressed the palm of his hand against the door to steady himself as the nebula of pleasure started to approach.

“It’s okay… I want this… Give it to me, baby… I know you wanna do it… I can feel you’re there…”

Her husky, sexy voice did absolutely nothing to postpone the moment.

“Shit… I’m about to come…”

Michael wondered how in the world he had been able to even breathe out those words. His lungs felt on fire. He also desperately tried to hold on to that little sanity he had left – he tried to postpone the inevitable.

But before he knew what was what, Lisa was on her knees and her mouth had engulfed him, making him moan out loud.

He stared down at her as he braced himself against the door with his other hand as well. He had no idea how they had come to this, but what he did know was that she was claiming him. She was marking him hers, and he was more than fine with it. And seeing her like that, her eyes closed, her fingers barely reaching around, her lips red and moist… As if she was worshiping him. All those details filled his eyes and his senses and they were the last push into the unknown.

He started to come violently and she was ready. Welcoming him back to the sheer perfection of moments like this, reminding him why no other woman would ever do. Reminding him that she was the one for him. He knew he told her he loved her and that she replied by purring, sending shockwaves from his penis up to his chest as she took his pleasure and made it hers.

When he finally stopped jerking and shaking, she kept sucking and kissing him gently and her eyes opened, looking up at him. They were clear, bright. They were an ocean and Michael felt like crying.

Lisa felt weird. Both elated and emotionally drained. That was why she didn’t say a word on their drive back to the mansion. What she did do, however, was to allow Michael to hold her hand. And he never let go of it, not even for a second.

At times, she felt his eyes on her and realized that, once again, she couldn’t bring herself to look at him. Her emotions were all jumbled up, disconcerting in the clarity of the love she felt for him. She was so in love with this man… So desperately in love with him. Always and regardless. It was her curse and her blessing. And she wished she could be able to say it out loud and communicate the exact depth and scope of her feelings with her words. With something more than just jerking him off or blowing him.

Her own crude mental remarks made her cringe.

She knew that she was just trying to underplay what had happened only half an hour earlier, in that bathroom. When she had longed for his body with a desperation that had almost brought tears to her eyes. When – almost out of her own volition – she had made sure that he would not be able to reciprocate the treatment she had been bestowing upon him.

Why had she done it? Maybe, just maybe, it had been her last effort to keep a tiny part of herself safe. Safe from the annihilating feeling that loving Michael involved.

Whatever the reason, her behavior sure made her wonder. When his fingers had touched her, he had been able to almost send her flying right away and that had been the exact moment when she had backed off. Metaphorically and otherwise. Somehow, Lisa knew that she would have found herself stripped naked if only she had climaxed. She would have lain bare in front of him. And yet now, in that car, just having his warm hand holding hers was enough to make her whole body vibrate like a diapason.

Her mind went back to the gruff, almost aggressive behavior he had displayed while pressing her against that door. His chest adhering to her back, his cock pushing hard against her bottom. It had been so hard to stay put, to not allow him to do to her whatever he wanted. It had been such a long time since his alpha male side had come out to play, and she had missed it.

God… She knew what was bound to happen. If only he touched her again, she would end up shattered, she would turn into stardust, and she would be utterly his again.

When, not if. It is going to happen sooner or later. But isn’t that what you want, after all? What you have always wanted? To be one with him? To be a part of him, and have him be a part of you?

Yes… And no.

Well, she wanted him – forever. And she already felt as if he was a part of her: that was the reason why he was able to hurt her and heal her like nobody else in the world. However, in the aftermath of what he had done, Lisa had felt betrayed like never before. In some way, not even the Debbie debacle could compare. She knew that she had somehow pushed him, back then, and even though she had never really accepted his “creative” way to get what he wanted, with time she had come to understand where he was coming from. Michael was wired differently from other people.

But now? After getting married for the second time? After having a kid on their own? After fighting and bleeding and struggling to get where they were? With a life that was so akin to what they had always dreamed of?

Now all of a sudden he pulled that shit? And why couldn’t she even manage to truly get mad at him for cheating on her?

The shock that had come with that realization had frozen her and despite her best efforts, Lisa was still stuck there. In that arctic environment where she could barely survive. Without him. The fire that had scalded her while she was loving him, earlier, had almost melted all the ice. Almost.

Not in a million years she would have imagined that their little night out would end that way. Even though she had been willing to experiment, on the other hand she had never thought it would make a real difference. A lifestyle party? What was that supposed to mean, anyway? How was it supposed to help her and Michael unravel a million things that had managed to drive a wedge between them?

Now, in retrospect, she finally understood. When doctor Plumb had planned that night out as part of that therapy weekend, she hadn’t necessarily wanted Lisa or Michael to engage in any sexual activity with other partners. She had just taken this sheltered couple and dragged them out of their element. She had just given them the chance to assess what it felt like to be immersed in an overly sexual environment, to watch other people getting too close to their loved one. To want what they had. And she had been right, because soon enough Lisa’s initial hesitance had turned into jealousy and intense irritation. Frustration, but also burning desire. For Michael, of course.

It was no surprise that they had ended up screwing in that bathroom. Well, sort of. Had it been for Michael, he would have fucked her to heaven and back, there and then, and to hell the location.

No, that was incorrect. He would have made love to her. In that intense, passionate, gruff way that always managed to clear her mind from all doubts and make her feel like the luckiest woman alive. She knew all about the daring, passionate side that lay beneath his calm, shy, soft-spoken persona.

Yeah, Lisa knew all about that. And at that very moment, she couldn’t deal with it. Just holding him in her hands, tasting him in her mouth had been as physically amazing as it had been emotionally draining. The mere idea of rebuilding real intimacy with Michael scared the living daylights out of her.

“Lisa?”

His voice was soft.

Lisa blinked, then turned in his direction after staring at the dark roads for what felt like forever. Still watching her, Michael brought her hand up to his lips and kissed her knuckles.

“Do you regret marrying me again?”

He didn’t sound as if he was accusing her of anything. He sounded sad, meditative, maybe a little remote. She wasn’t even surprised by his question.

“I could never regret marrying you. I made the mistake of thinking you were nothing but a lapse in judgment in the past, and it was the stupidest shit ever. I just wish things were different, especially now.”

His face remained very calm.

“You mean that you liked our first marriage better? That you’d need some more of that?”

Shaking her head lightly, she stared into space for a moment.

“That’s a good question. I don’t know. Maybe I’d need a mix of the two. Or maybe neither one of the two. Maybe I just need something else entirely. Something new. Perhaps we both do, Mike.”

Averting his gaze, he just nodded imperceptibly. He kept holding her hand and Lisa felt like the biggest bitch on the planet. He was being so sweet, so understanding, so patient. She wondered if he thought that her behavior was nothing but retaliation, when it was anything but. In fact, she didn’t want him to believe that she was trying to punish him by acting hot and cold. By withholding her own body, her own pleasure from him.

It was just that…

“We’re home.”

Now his voice sounded almost bland – devoid of any specific feeling. That detail hurt her even more, because she recognized the undertone. Michael looked on the verge of shutting down. It was his typical self-defense mechanism whenever he felt wounded, confused, upset. It was disappointing to discover that she was unable to say anything to comfort him, when in the past that had always been one of her biggest strengths.

She just watched him as he spoke to the driver for a moment in that calm, polite way of his. She too wished the man goodnight and kept holding Michael’s hand as they entered the house together. From the outside, they probably looked like an ordinary couple, with no particular issues. The irony of it all would have made her smile, if only the situation hadn’t been so horrendously scary. But that seemed to be their destiny: to always appear different when watched from the outside. Different from what they really were. Pretty much nobody knew what was going on in the intimacy of their complicated relationship, and it had always been that way.

She was still on that train of thoughts when she finally motioned to let go of Michael’s hand. She was planning to go upstairs, take a shower, then lie down in bed. She hoped that she would just blackout completely until the next morning. And then to wake up more clear-headed, possibly, since her mind was still a bit clouded by the alcohol she had consumed during the night and by what had happened in that bathroom.

Only, Michael didn’t let go of her hand at all.

Feeling his grip tighten, Lisa stopped mid-track and turned. They were still in the foyer and all the lights were off, but the warm, yellowish summer lamps in the garden illuminated the space enough for her to notice each and every detail on Michael’s face.

Lisa cocked her head to a side, trying to look as dismissive as she could.

“Hey… What’s going on?”

Staring back at her without a word, he removed his jacket and let it fall on a small armchair near the door. Then he started loosening his tie. He undid the first couple of buttons of his shirt slowly. Swallowing, he took Lisa’s hands and brought them up – quietly ordering her to finish the job. He was nervous, but also looked incredibly determined. He was no longer playing and he was done being patient. That much, she could tell.

She squinted her eyes.

“What are you doing?”

“Undress me.”

“Come again?”

“Oh, I’m planning on doing just that. But not without you, this time.”

Her stomach closed in a knot. It was the most marvelous sensation ever and, instinctively, she tried to fight it off. It was becoming her knee-jerk reaction whenever he attempted to get close and she hated herself for that.

In a last, desperate attempt to avoid what she knew was going to happen, she withdrew her hands. Michael grabbed them again and rested them against his chest. Holding them there gently. His face softened, the cocky expression disappeared for a moment.

“…Unless you really don’t want me anymore. Unless what happened earlier was a mistake and you’re sorry that you… you know…” He sighed, never breaking eye-contact. As usual, it was difficult for him to verbalize how he felt. “Lisa… If I don’t make love to you right now I think I’m gonna fucking die.”

Lisa’s shoulders relaxed and she truly looked at him. She could tell that he was hurt and insecure, but also that he was doing his best not to retreat, not to get all porcupine on her. Not to ice her out and be the shark that she knew he could become. Instead, this time he was choosing to be vulnerable.

And so she resumed the job he had interrupted, undoing the buttons of his shirt one by one.

It was a warm summer night and, quite uncharacteristically, Michael didn’t wear his usual t-shirt underneath. She found the warm skin of his chest and felt his strong heartbeat under the palm of her hand. She caressed his solid, toned torso, and her eyes followed the route traced by her fingers. She noticed the goosebumps on his skin and felt his pulse accelerating. Liquid fire spread from her belly down in between her legs. She knew that there was no way out anymore. She was spellbound again.

When Michael finally stepped up and entered her personal space, his chest almost touching her, she was ready.

At first, his kiss was soft, gentle. Then it became progressively more passionate, as if he could no longer restrain himself now that he was finally in a much safer environment. When he pulled her against his body, Lisa was not in the least surprised to feel his steel against her belly. On their way back home, she had tried so hard to forget all about how out of control he had been in that bathroom. Michael, who usually was more than capable of holding himself back, of making his pleasure last, had climaxed within minutes and she had loved every second of it. It had made her feel powerful, crucial – to be able to still be the source of so much pleasure for him. For one wicked moment she had wondered if he had felt a slice of that same intensity with that other woman, but then she had chased that thought away – only focusing on him. Her senses had been invaded.

But anyway, now Michael’s intentions seemed slightly different. Of course he was willing to give himself to her again and again, but he also wanted something in return. That much was clear from the way he held her and touched her. It became even more explicit when he reached for her under her dress, ripped her panties off and gruffly picked her up. In that never-ending, flawless dance that their lovemaking had always been, Lisa immediately closed her legs around his hips and he started walking toward the dining room.

All the while, they kept kissing. His tongue caressed her, seduced her.

Michael managed to reach the table and placed Lisa on the cold wooden surface. He didn’t waste any time getting busy, trying hard to get rid of her evening dress as quickly as he could. She noticed that he was panting, but so was she. Her desire became burning, scorching and her body moved on its own accord, pushing his shirt off his shoulders, then once again taking care of his pants. Needing to see him, touch him, feel him again.

Surrender. You know you want it. He’s all you need.

“There…” He finally managed to take the darn dress off her, then unclasped her bra. The useless piece of garment fell in her lap and Michael simply swatted it away like some pesky fly. His eyes stared at her naked breasts. His hands touched them gently, making her shiver. “God… You’re so fucking beautiful. I am the luckiest son of a bitch in the world.”

Those words… They were so similar to what Lisa had been thinking only a few minutes earlier and acted like a trigger to her. The last bastion of self-preservation crumbled and she pulled his head down, finding his mouth again, allowing him to kiss her in that way that always made her forget anything else existed. How had she been able to rebuff him until now? She obviously had some masochistic traits. She should have known that nothing, nothing compared to the way Michael made love to her.

Never letting go of his mouth, she managed to free him from the tight confines of his pants. He was fully aroused again and it was so relieving to know that she could still manage to have him respond to her touch so quickly.

Michael broke the kiss, found her neck and nipped at the soft flesh there, making her yelp. His hand on either side of her body, he backed off slightly.

“Look at that… See what you do to me? Even after all this time…”

Was he able to read her thoughts? Probably. Lisa’s eyes stared down, at her own hand gripping him. Barely reaching around. She knew he too was watching.

When he pushed his hips forward ever so slightly, his penis strained in her hand. He was so hard. So huge.

“See what you’ve always done to me?”

Her eyes flew up to his. Michael’s irises looked like burning embers.

“Only you, Lise. Only you.”

Her free hand touched his chest, caressed his flat stomach. She reveled in the feeling of his muscles contracting under her caress. Of his cock jumping in her hand. She swallowed hard. Time to let go of some of the tension. Or to build it up. Either way, the charade was over.

“I loved the way I made you come, earlier…”

His crooked sexy grin forced a smirk out of her.

“I loved how you made me come, earlier…” Grabbing her by the hips, he pulled her closer, making her sit at the very edge of the table. “And now… Now, babe, I really need to reciprocate…”

He bit his lip as he skillfully used his own steel to caress her, tease her. He was still being delicate and possibly a bit reluctant to let himself go the way he truly wanted, but Lisa knew that his control was about to snap. Once again, she recognized all the signs. How funny it was that she had just recently told him that, at times, she thought she didn’t know him at all, while right now she could read him like an open book.

She also knew how they needed to make love and she tugged at him gently, forcing more contact.

Michael moaned, then kissed her again, hard. His tongue sweeping into her mouth, once again seducing her, tantalizing her. Lisa wasn’t going to do anything to stop him now. She needed him, and her longing was starting to border on desperation. Her lips reached his ear.

“Then take me… Do what you want with me…”

Even though she knew that it would hurt. Physically, but also emotionally. For once, she needed the pain.

Those were the words that he had been waiting for. Making her lean back until her back rested on the table, he let her thighs cradle his hips as he started to breach her. Lisa watched him. His pants slightly lowered, his torso naked, beads of sweat already decorating his forehead, he looked like a deity suddenly become real. Her eyes squeezed shut when he entered her fully and she felt herself quiver, her whole body holding onto him. He pulled back ever so slightly, then thrust forward again, filling her, and this time she cried out loud.

Michael leaned forward, kissing her forehead, her closed eyes, the tip of her nose, her mouth. Her tongue grazed his lips and he parted them, welcoming her again.

“God… You feel so fucking heavenly… So warm and soft inside… You a’right?”

“Yeah… Oh, shit…”

She adored this feeling. This burning sensation where pleasure and pain mixed so flawlessly. No other man had ever been able to make her feel like this.

“Babe… I gotta move… Hold up…” One hand tangled in her hair, the other reached her breast. She reveled in the warm feeling of his palm against her nipple. All her senses were magnified, and she thought she would pass out. And yet she was immediately reborn the moment he truly started to move.

Within minutes, what had begun almost like some slow, hesitating lovemaking turned into a furious coupling. They did become one. They mingled, and Lisa felt like watercolor, smeared on the perfection of his canvas. Everything that Michael was, wrapped itself around her. The feeling of his skin, the scent of him, the hardness of his penis inside of her, his sweat. The raspy feel of his beard against her cheek as he buried his face in the hollow of her neck, his uneven breathing, his deep voice testifying of his rapture.

She came. More than once, and each time it became more intense, more liberating. Every orgasm was a weird concoction of love, elation, pain, anger, jealousy, possessiveness. But ultimately, victory and defeat at the same time.

She desperately held onto him as he ravaged her body in the most heavenly way possible and then, after what felt like forever, she felt him twitch and engorge even more inside of her. She understood that he was about to come and framed his face with both hands, finding his eyes.

“Yeah… Oh, please. Yes. Let me feel it. Please, baby. Please. Make me yours.”

Michael winched.

“I love you, baby girl… Oh, fucking… hell…”

Straightening up, he did something that Lisa had not been expecting at all. He withdrew from her body but stayed very close to her pulsing flesh. It was a matter of seconds, really. His hands holding her ass, keeping her lower body slightly raised from the table, he started to come on her center as he still rocked against her, marking her his. He blushed, but didn’t stop.

“Yeah… Oh, shit…” She grabbed his forearms, her nails pushing into his skin, and glanced up at him quickly, wanting to see that pleasure painted all over his perfect face, then down again, because this was hot as fuck. This was something more than Michael making love to her. This was him claiming her, burning her. “I love you…”

Still climaxing, he entered her again forcefully and once again began to move with strong, hard jabs. She immediately reached down, her fingers finding her own warm center in a slippery caress, and she followed him into the unknown galaxy that becoming one with him this way always entailed.

She screamed out and even her voice failed her. She thought she would pass out. Then his mouth was on hers and they kissed, sharing a moment that had never been more sacred.