Chapter 4

“Prague. Praha. The name actually meant “threshold”. The city was a portal between the life of the good and … the other. A city of dark magic.”
― Magnus Flyte

She thought she had heard Michael’s voice calling out to her, but she was not sure. No, it just couldn’t be, it was nothing but her imagination whispering in her confused, exhausted mind. There was absolutely no way in hell that he could be there, because he obviously didn’t care enough to run after her. He never had, and why should he, anyway? She obviously had never been worthy of the effort. Besides, when she had left the meeting he was still comfortably sitting down at the table, and didn’t look like he would stop looking at those darn pictures anytime soon.

Lisa cringed inwardly. Why had Jaroslav felt the need to share those photographs with Michael?

Well, duh. Because the whole place was also built on his dime?

Alright, but still, she would have loved to stay out of it. Out of the pictures or, at the very least, out of the room while Michael was flipping through the pages of that damn photo album. She didn’t like the idea of him getting to know what she had been doing in the past months. The time when she wanted to share everything with him was long gone. Done. Finished. Kaput!

So, no. The voice she heard could not possibly be Michael’s, as he was probably still busy discussing the project with the Mazeks. However, what miffed Lisa the most was the feeling that simple auditory stimulus had been able to evoke. It had been enough to distract her and almost make her slip and fall into the fresh snow that kept descending all over the city.

“Oh, shit!”

And yet, when Lisa felt someone touch the small of her back, as if they wanted to make sure that she could steady herself, she immediately perceived that familiar pull. Oh, so she wasn’t imagining things!

See? You haven’t lost your mind after all!

It was all about the vibrations and the firm way his hand had come to rest against her, almost heating her up through her heavy clothes. Her body had always reacted to Michael’s as if it was some kind of magnet whenever he was close. The attraction and chemistry had always been there, since the very first time he had kissed her, held her. He had been the only man making her feel as if she could turn into dust particles and become whole all at once. He had made her feel as if she wasn’t confined in her own body at all and sadly, it didn’t look like that confusing detail about their mind-blowing physical connection was going to change anytime soon. Lisa could only hope that it would, one day.

“Are you OK?”

“Yeah…”

“Lisa… Didn’t you hear me?”

She turned her head and there he was. As if he had popped out of nothing or maybe as if he had always been there. He wore a heavy black parka whose hood covered his head. He also had a scarf wrapped around his neck. His face was half-hidden, but his eyes were visible and they were staring at her. No wonder nobody had recognized him. Not yet, at least.

“I didn’t.”

Liar.

Lisa was a bit flustered. Why was he even there? Where had he popped up from? How come he was always so stealthy? She just wanted to go back to the hotel after having to deal with him for a couple of hours. With his eyes, throwing her subtle glances from across the table. With his considerate manners and observations, that were all on point, signaling his genuine interest in this project and his stay in Prague. Michael would not go back to the States for now and she wanted him to leave her alone for a while. And yet there he was again. Like a curse. Like a blessing.

“I just…” Michael frowned and shivered. Then glanced around and frowned some more. “Damn… It’s so friggin’ cold out here! Why don’t you get in the car with me? Let’s go back to the hotel together.”

She watched him for a moment, just assessing his words.

“Is that what you’re here for? To ask me to jump in a car with you?”

“Yeah, because it’s way too cold and you’re gonna freeze to death. And we can’t have that.”

“What? No, thanks. I like walking in the snow. The cold helps me clear my mind.”

Michael giggled.

“Girl, you were gon’ fall flat on your face just a minute ago. See how clear your mind gets, then!”

Lisa glared at him.

“I wasn’t falling at all. But even if I was, just let me do my thing. Let me fall! Why do you even care? You can go back to your warm and comfy car, Michael, and drive the fuck off with your clean conscience.”

“Nah, I ain’t gonna let you hurt yourself like that. You sure you don’t want a ride?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

She stubbornly resumed walking, but once again she was hindered and slowed down by the snow. The boots she had on were nice to look at and comfortable to wear but not ideal for the current weather. Her feet felt like Popsicles, the ground was slippery as all get-out. Lisa mentally noted that she would have to buy something more appropriate, possibly the next day.

Glancing back for a second, she noticed that Michael had strolled back to the car and was talking to the driver through the passenger’s window. She could bet that it was Wayne, sitting at the wheel. Even though she hadn’t noticed any of Michael’s bodyguards around, she knew from experience that he could never travel alone. He didn’t have that luxury. She also expected him to get back into the SUV and drive off for real – but she was wrong. In fact, the car slowly passed by and disappeared around a corner and, a moment later, Michael was by her side once again.

“What the hell?! Why aren’t you back in the car?”

“Oh, come on… Stop being so pissy!” He laughed and sniffled, squinting his eyes against the cold temperature. He pushed his hands in the pockets of his parka. “The road is public, you know. I am allowed to walk if I want you.”

“I’m sorry, what?!”

He cleared his throat. Was he blushing? Was that a Freudian slip she had heard?

“I said… I am allowed to walk if I want to.”

Oh, right… that was what he had said. Lisa shook her head. It was obvious at this point that she was starting to have auditory hallucinations for real, because sure as hell he hadn’t said what she thought he had said.

“Yeah, you are. But that doesn’t mean that we gotta walk side by side.”

She knew that she was being snippy and rude, but she just couldn’t help it. Maybe if he thought that she was nothing but a stone-cold bitch this whole thing would be more manageable. He would back off and allow her to breathe. And maybe, if she convinced herself of the same thing, if she thought of herself as nothing but a cunt, she would be able to keep him at a safe distance. The last thing she needed was to get entangled with him all over again, in a moment of her life when she felt she could finally move on for good. Maybe. After all, she had heard and seen enough to know that Michael was done with her. That phone call that she and him had shared just recently… It had been nothing but a moment of weakness on both parts. He had caught her off-guard, that was all.

“Lise…”

Michael stopped walking. Despite her instinct screaming at her to just go, go, go and take the chance to finally outrun him, she did the same. She took a deep breath and, suddenly, wondered if the car would have been a more feasible option after all, given that he had decided to stay. At least the road back to the hotel would have been quicker.

She turned and stared at him. He almost looked like a perfect statue, all dressed in black, his solid figure standing there, against the blinding white backdrop of the snow. Illuminated by the yellowish lights of the street lamps and the shops. Surrounded by people passing by, not paying attention to him, not knowing who he was. People that Lisa saw as nothing but blurred figures with no importance at all. Michael exerted his invisible pull, maybe involuntarily, and yet she felt it. She felt his magic.

He stepped closer and motioned to touch her, but then his arm fell by his side and he let out a loud sigh.

“Listen… I just wanna walk with you. Nothing else. I don’t wanna piss you off at all. And you gotta help me out, here, ‘cause I told my guys that I’ll see them at the hotel and I have no idea how to even get there on my own.” His eyebrows sprung up. “Let’s be civil, please. We aren’t enemies.”

Well, at times she begged to differ. The recent experience in Paris certainly hadn’t classified them as cordial exes. If Michael wanted to make sure that she knew how he felt about her, his behavior back then had been a low blow. But at least the damage he had inflicted had been permanent, or so she felt. Besides, it wasn’t that she hadn’t heard the rumors about him and all those women swirling around him. She had. Lisa didn’t know where they came from or if they were true, but the suspicion that somehow they came from him or his most recent associates couldn’t be shaken off so easily.

More than one person had told her about Michael’s new acquaintances. And she had heard rumors about them too. Duplicitous people, party guys who she believed had latched onto him because it was so comfortable and convenient. Like the magician, or the religious figure that was a notorious, nasty gossiper. And as a matter of fact, it had been through him that some of Michael’s remarks had reached her ear. It was nothing but second-hand rumors, but allegedly her ex-husband had told the rabbi that he was done with her. That what they had once shared was water under the bridge and he had moved on, that he was hanging out with new friends. And new girlfriends, however fleeting his affairs might be. It made all the sense in the world and sounded reasonable, because Michael was just the kind of guy who could decide to fight fire with fire, if he ever saw it fit.

Even though Lisa too had been seeing some other guys, she had been hurt by those rumors just the same. She couldn’t know for certain if they were truthful or not, but they had cut her deeply nonetheless. That was why she had broken up with John – well, at least that had been one of the reasons. She had wanted so much to leave it all behind, to take some time for herself and try to sort her feelings out – just to put them away forever. Pushing on the brakes on that last, superficial relationship had seemed the most reasonable decision. Together with leaving for Europe for a little while. She had no idea that she would end up finding Michael in Prague… Otherwise, well, maybe she would have stayed in Los Angeles.

Of course, despite all those thoughts swirling in her mind at a neck-breaking speed, she remained calm and apparently emotionless.

“And you think following me around like a lost puppy will do? You almost sound as if you’re trying to mollify me.”

“I am not. I have no reason to. Besides… Is that how you see me? Like a puppy?”

“I would say you’re more like a T-Rex.”

“A rhino, maybe? They’re sweet, you know. And rare.”

“No, a T-Rex. Which would make you even rarer, I guess.”

Michael smiled, looking amused and possibly quite pleased with himself. He seemed to be in such a great mood. Maybe a bit on pins and needles, but genuinely content to be where he was. In a way, Lisa was happy for him and hoped that her foul mood would soon disappear as well. If anything, she would be able to enjoy Christmastime in one of the most fascinating cities in the world.

And then of course, there was him. Despite everything that had transpired, it was still so very hard for her to resist the enigmatic charm that this man had always exerted on her, to rebuff his deep emotional influence. Just like in the past, Michael had the ability to condition her disposition like nobody else in the world. Whenever he was sad for some reason, she would be sad too. When he was happy, she would feel as if she was walking on clouds, as well. And the realization that he still had that ability was what was pissing her off at the moment.

“What if I promise I won’t bite?” His voice turned much, much deeper, but the tone remained amused. “I swear I won’t eat you, Little Red Hood! Cross my heart!”

He was still joking, obviously, and yet she couldn’t avoid the sudden images flashing in her mind. Flooding her senses. Michael lying on top of her as she lay down on her stomach. His teeth on her shoulder, gently scraping her skin as he slowly moved inside of her. The feeling of his sweaty chest adhering to her back. His muscles contracting. His hair ticking her. And his scent, irresistible, comforting and familiar, all over her, wrapping itself around the very essence of who she was, making her feel safe and secure.

No, not this again. She had to get away from him.

“Whatever… You do whatever you want.” Lisa turned and resumed walking. “I can’t stop you.”

Which was true on so many levels.

“That’s right. You can’t.” He jogged on the snow as if it was nothing and once again came to stand next to her. “So I will just… uh… walk.”

They kept strolling like that for a few minutes, without exchanging a word. Lisa was pretty sure that she would be able to find her way back to the hotel without any help, and realized that it would probably take another twenty minutes to get there. Twenty interminable minutes of silence.

“How are you? And since we’re talking and all… I just wanted to say that I’m sorry about last night.”

Of course, Michael begged to differ. He wanted to talk, not just walk. How could he be so calm, so chill? Speaking to her as if it was the most normal thing in the world after all that had happened?

Because he doesn’t care, that’s why. When people don’t care, they aren’t bothered. Think about that. Remember that.

Right…

“I’m good. What are you sorry for?”

“For blindsiding you by storming into your room. In retrospect, I gotta admit that it was kinda rude. But I really had no idea it was you.”

“Yeah, you already said that… Don’t worry about it. It’s all good.”

“Is it, though? I thought you weren’t even gonna show up today.”

“Why shouldn’t I have shown up? I’m here to work, Michael.”

“And to enjoy your beautiful suite… Damn!”

She snorted and stopped one more time, turning to look at him. Again that amused look in his eyes.

“Are you serious? You’re jealous of my suite?”

Even with the scarf on, she could see his cheeks redden.

“Am not!”

Lisa chuckled. She just couldn’t help it.

“Look at you! You totally are. Well, you know what? I came first, I had all the right to-”

“You always came first. I’ve always made sure you did.”

She punched him on the shoulder, ever so slightly.

“Fuck off!”

The last thing she needed at the moment were Michael’s dirty jokes. Especially since they always managed to light a fire in her belly. And if they were truth bombs delivered so casually in the most unexpected moments ever, they worked even better.

He’s right, though… He always made sure that you were sated and fulfilled before he even thought about releasing himself…

“Why? It’s just the truth!”

“Stop it. It’s unnecessary. And gross.”

Michael snickered.

“Far from it. But OK. I was just tryin’ to light up the mood, ‘cause Lisa…” He turned serious once again. “I think we need it. We need something easier than… than what we had. Than what’s been going on.”

This time he did reach out and took her gloved hand in his own.

“I thought about this project a lot. Not only because we’re investing our money on it, but also because it matters so much to so many people. I mean, we do this kind of things all the time and maybe at times we don’t even realize how it is from someone else’s perspective. It’s just what we do. But it means the world for them. Women and men and children who don’t have nothing… while we do. We have everything. And sometimes we forget all about it… As if we can’t even see it, or appreciate it. It’s wrong. You and I, no matter what…we had it all… in all the ways that mattered. We shouldn’t dismiss that by acting nasty to each other while we’re doing this thing together, don’t you think? It would spoil it.”

Lisa just tilted her head, not saying a word. Because of course, she knew that he was right.

“Besides… seeing you here… and then having that meeting with you and the Mazeks… Helped me see things from a different perspective. Well, it made me look at you from a different angle.”

“Yeah? How?”

Her hand stayed limp in his bigger one. Yet she didn’t pull back. She kind of loved how warm his touch felt.

“When I saw those pictures… I could tell how much commitment you put in all this. How much fun you had last summer… and how much you needed some relief from what… from what had happened. You looked happy doing this. And I feel like I was left on the outs somehow… I think I already missed most of the action here.”

Lisa laughed. A short, dry laugh.

“Michael, I don’t know if you realize it, but there’s still plenty of work to do before the grand opening. Dana and Jaro call it ‘finishing up’, but believe me, it’s so much more than that. It’s up to you what you want or don’t wanna do. You can supervise and visit the place when you’re up to it while you enjoy your little vacation, or you can roll up your sleeves and help out.”

“Is that what you’re gonna do? Help out again?”

“Yeah. That’s what I’m here for. And you know why? ‘Cause I’m better at doing stuff than I am at thinking things through.”

He studied her for a moment, his eyes narrowing. Then he let go of her hand and sniffled, shivering again. Mike hated the cold.

“No, you’re better at thinking things through than you give yourself credit for. I should have told you more often. But you’re right. You’re also good at doing stuff. Come on… Let’s go. It’s getting real’ chilly.”

Lisa let go of a long breath, and they resumed walking once again. Still hand in hand. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that he never left her side and that, on a couple of instances, he seemed about to start a conversation again. And it seemed to her that he let it go every time. Just a lot of false starts. There was so much left unsaid in their back and forth, she could tell. But as usual lately, she was not sure that she could read him fully. Those were old talents that she had in the old times. Something had been lost in translation.

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Michael began to hum. Lisa frowned and kept ignoring him. She remembered all his tools and resources, and how easy it was for him to pick the lock of her determination, if only he wanted to. That night, it was through an old blues song. She recognized the lyrics when he began to sing under his breath, in a low, deep voice that he rarely used in his own music.

“Baby you hurt me,
And I know that I’ve hurt you.
We’ve both promised,
To always be true.
We’d let our love,
Get lost in the rain.
Now we are waiting,
Oh, for love to live again.
Holding on,
To what was before,
Oh, lord I see
Why did we have to let it go.
Now the only thing,
That I know.
The only thing
That i think I’d know
When the hurt is over
Lord, maybe love will flow
Trying to do
What we know we must
When you love somebody
You know you got to trust…”

“What the heck are you doing now?”

He replied by starting to whistle the tune, causing a couple of passers-by to turn and look at him.

“Stop it!” At this point, it was becoming harder and harder to keep a straight face. Because whenever Michael acted like a total moron, he always managed to become the most seductive and endearing man ever. “They’re gonna recognize you and I don’t feel like running away from any mob of lunatics. So stop singing, please.”

He smiled and bit his lip, his eyes downcast. He finally went quiet. The truth was that Lisa loved it when he did that, when he sang to her, spoke to her, and she couldn’t allow him to get under her skin that way, right now. However, she also couldn’t help but find it lovable, how he tried to use someone else’s song lyrics to express what he couldn’t verbalize on his own. Yeah, she had gotten the message. He was sorry they had broken up so abruptly, and he hoped that they could somehow recover from this.

The only problem was that she didn’t have an answer to that. Maybe he wasn’t hurting anymore, but she was.

He was acting like a complete idiot, and he was well aware of that. His was a purposeful choice. He did it because making light of this whole thing was easier than facing it in the bravest way, and because sulking and being mad at each other hadn’t brought him and Lisa anything at all, in the past. At the same time, he was surprised that she couldn’t see how his was nothing but a mask, and how her mere presence affected him more than he ever thought possible. He wasn’t as light-hearted as he sounded, it didn’t matter how exhilarated he felt just by walking by her side, just by holding her hand. Maybe he had become better at hiding things from Lisa, after all. Or maybe she was just done with him and had stopped trying. It was hard to tell at this stage.

However, seeing those photographs indeed had been an illuminating experience and something he was not prepared for. And when he had told Lisa that maybe they needed something easier to deal with than what they had shared in the past, Michael had truly meant it.

How much time they had spent in their state of complete stillness? Yes, after their divorce, when they had become lovers again, he and Lisa had traveled the world, gone on vacation together, spent interminable hours in bed, and also fought – and made up, countless times. They had been a very vital, volatile, dynamic couple. But they had been unmovable and frozen from an emotional, decisional point of view when it came to the most crucial steps about their relationship. At least he knew he had. Even though not taking a clear stance had consequences, Michael felt as if his liaison with Lisa hadn’t been burned to the ground, but more like slowly choked to death by their own insecurities.

That of their relationship had been death by inertia. How sad, how heartbreaking and miserable. How come he had never realized that before this very moment?

In the previous twelve months, after breaking up with Lisa for the final time, he had kept floating through his life in the same manner. A bit lost, a bit bored. While she… well, she had reacted and acted. She had stepped up. The pictures that the Mazeks had shown Michael told him a very different story compared to the many rumors he had heard about his ex-wife. Being out with guys, partying every night, fooling around, drinking and dancing and laughing without a care in the world. Some people had also told him that it was all a charade, that she kept pining over him, that she was the shell of the woman she used to be. He had avoided any comment, not really knowing what to do with those supposed revelations. He, of all people, knew that rumors very often had nothing to do with actual facts.

And in those rare occasions when he and Lisa had spoken over the phone, their conversations had always been way too superficial to truly guess what was going on. What lay beneath.

But then he had seen her in that interminable series of Polaroids. Even if only for a few weeks, Lisa had efficiently and productively moved through the world, and had managed to accomplish such a beautiful thing. She had brought that light and love of hers into it, too. The woman Michael had seen in those pictures wasn’t a shell of anything and anyone. She was a beautiful, living, breathing being. She was the girl he had maybe failed to see in the last months they had spent together as a couple.

Her smile, open and unguarded. Her eyes surprised in the best possible way. Happy, even. Fulfilled. Her body language, expressing absolute confidence and comfort. How long since Lisa had been that way with him? Way too long. In the last phases of their relationship, she had become gun-shy and cautious, tiptoeing all around him as if she was constantly afraid to lose him – not knowing that he felt exactly the same. While in those photographs, she was so beautiful and carefree.

Michael had also found out that those pictures had all been taken after their debacle in Paris. After June. In fact, Dana had told him that Lisa had spent a few weeks in Prague only in late August. He had clenched his teeth. It sure looked as if what had happened in France hadn’t bothered her that much. But after all, why was he surprised? Her choice, in that instance, had spoken volumes. It disturbed him to be obviously more upset about what had transpired than she was.

At the same time, now that she was close to him again he felt the intense urge of making things right with her – at least a tiny bit. At least as long as they were in that city together and had to share the same space. He was sure that, once back home, he and Lisa would resume being polite strangers. Nothing to each other. That was what they had become. Wasn’t it?

It was depressing as fuck to even think about it and he had felt his stomach turn. His instinctual reaction had been to behave like a buffoon. To become Lisa’s personal court jester for a few minutes just to try to clear the air. Maybe if he managed to make her smile, laugh even, he too would feel better. He would stop feeling as if this thing, too, was spiraling out of his control – together with pretty much the rest of his life. Besides, having her finally stop frowning reminded him of the good old times, when they had fallen in love.

As he tried as best as he could to make Lisa behave in some sort of familiar way, as he did his best to have her return to some semblance of normalcy, all of a sudden Michael felt so very, very lost.

“Oh, hey… How are the kids?”

He had been quiet for a while when he finally managed to blurt out the question.

Lisa glanced over at him, then resumed staring at her own boots as she walked.

“They’re good. In Hawaii, at the moment.”

“With Danny?”

“Yeah… as usual.”

He just nodded his head and stayed quiet for a moment.

“…I miss them.”

Her eyes still downcast, Lisa let out a small, sad smile.

“They miss you too. They ask about you, you know… every now and then… Of course, they no longer wait to see you appear at the door, but they still ask.”

Michael sighed. His heart felt heavy.

“And what do you tell them?”

“That you’re fine. Just very busy.”

Closing his eyes for a second, he shook his head ever so slightly. He didn’t know how to reply to that.

“How are your babies? Prince and Paris…”

Lisa’s voice was soft and caused him to stare at her for a moment. She had sounded so sincere. As if it wasn’t just a polite question, but something she cared about for real.

“They’re OK. Growing up faster than I can ever realize.”

The thought of his kids waiting for their dad on another continent created even more melancholy. Pure, undiluted nostalgia. And the sad realization that those children, all four of them, could have been his and Lisa’s. Not just his. Not just Lisa’s. They could have been that. They should have been that.

“I’ve seen some pictures in the magazines. No matter how much you try to keep your life private, no matter how much you conceal them… the paps always manage to get through… or so it seems.”

“Yeah, I know… fuckers…”

“Yep. Bastards of the worst kind.”

He glanced over at her and they shared a little complicit smirk. There. Common ground, at least when it came to this. All in all, this little walk back to the hotel was going better than expected.

“Hey, Lise… Can I ask you something?”

Her eyebrows sprung up.

“Sure. Go ahead.”

“How did you find out about the Threshold? It’s so weird that we both ended up working on this.” He shrugged. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. I know it was totally random… But I am just curious to know how they were able to convince you.”

“They didn’t have to convince me. They actually tried to get in touch with EPE… through my mother. I noticed their letter on her desk by accident. I asked her if she was interested, but she wasn’t. Maybe because the organization behind the whole thing was so little… Or maybe she was just busy. So I stepped in… called the Mazeks myself, found out more about the project, and was intrigued. You know the rest.”

She didn’t tell him that she had also needed so much to distract herself from the emotional turbulence that the Paris disaster had provoked.

Michael nodded.

“Wow… So it’s not EPE that’s involved.”

She smiled a bit bashfully.

“No, just me. I’m Miss 51%, baby.”

He stopped mid-step and straightened his stance.

“Are you serious? You invested in this more than I did?”

“Yep. Just a tiny bit more, but… I win.” This time her smile was more open, way more unguarded. “That’s why I got the best suite at the hotel. You’re good, but I did better than you this time.”

His eyebrows furrowed. So not only had Lisa stolen the best room at the hotel, but she had also gotten the biggest slice of the pie!

“What a sneaky… You…! How did you manage that? I don’t like to… to…”

“Lose? Oh, I’m sorry, maybe that’s too much of a strong word. Not win?” She glanced over and noticed that the hotel was just a few feet away from them. They had made it. Finally. Unfortunately. “Yeah, I know you don’t…”

Lisa stepped closer to him and held onto his shoulder, rising on her tiptoes to speak to him face to face for a moment.

“And you wanna know how I managed to outdo you? Simple. Like I said… I came first.”

She pushed herself off him and sighed.

“Good night, Mike. See you tomorrow.”

As she walked over to the main entrance of the Palace, it was hard for Lisa to not turn her head and stare at him, so beautiful and perfect, like a forlorn god in the snow.

The moment she stepped into her suite, her mood had become gloomy once again. That was what Michael did to her. No matter how infuriating he could be, whenever he was around, her soul would always manage to soar. Catch fire almost, and then be reborn like a phoenix. And then, when he was gone, it was like standing in the shadow of the dark side of the moon. Feeling cold, empty, lonely. Feeling as if she had lost a pivotal part of who she was, or who made her, her.

The flip-side was that, at least, she and Michael had been able to talk like two human beings instead of yapping at each other like savages or engaging in their notorious silent treatment. At least it was something. To see him like that – friendly, open – and to hear his words had reminded her that he wasn’t only the guy she had fought so much with in the past. He was also so much else. Among other things, he was the man who had engaged in a meeting that had lasted hours, never losing interest, never spacing out, never complaining. A guy who eventually had just asked a simple yet poignant question.

How can I help now that I’m here?

His words had made Lisa’s heart squeeze in her chest. Especially because they were beyond unexpected. Theoretically, she and Michael were there just to see where their money had gone and supervise the opening of the Threshold – which was due in little less than a week. But in practical terms, the Mazeks were slightly late on their schedule because a few staff members had bailed to go home for Christmas, and the place wasn’t completely ready yet. That was why Dana and Jaroslav – and Lisa too – still had so much to do.

“It’s not much that we need to do, still… But it’s got to be done before Saturday’s grand opening.”

“That’s fine. How can I help now that I’m here? I would love to.”

And Lisa had realized that he was being absolutely honest.

Well, maybe they would have another set of useful hands after all. She knew from experience that Michael could be helpful in so many different ways, and she had no doubt that he had the humbleness and drive to be involved in whatever the organization needed. Mike was the kind of man who got shit done, and that learned what he needed to learn in order to get there.

She removed her clothes quietly and stepped into the shower, needing to warm up a bit. The walk back to the hotel, so late in the afternoon and in the dark, had almost frozen her to death. She was still shivering. Maybe she should have taken up on Michael’s offer and jumped in the car after all.

As she turned the hot water on, she also couldn’t help but wonder if he too was enjoying a much-needed shower. He hated the cold, yet he had insisted on walking with her despite having a car ready. Lisa smiled to herself ever so slightly. It was so hard to stay mad at him when the most genuine, unguarded side of him emerged. When he allowed her to see him in his most open, even vulnerable state. And when he was the thoughtful gentleman that had made her fall in love, instead of the ice-cold stranger she had been forced to face way too often, in recent times.

Right before they broke up for the last time, Lisa had been under the impression of having reached a very dramatic stage of her relationship with him. At times she had felt as if she bored him to tears and had nothing valuable left to give.

Yet, since she had met him again in Prague, Michael had looked anything but bored.

She began to lather her body, closing her eyes and letting go a long sigh. Yeah, there it was. She was finally starting to feel much more relaxed.

In the background of her mind, Michael’s contagious laugh forced her to smile again as she stood under the warm water jet. It was incredible how almost every time she took a shower the memory of his hands on her managed to break through her obstinacy and disillusionment. Michael’s hands were big, warm, and they had always known how to hold her. They touched her in ways that almost made her forget to breathe.

Lisa had never been touched like that by anyone. No other man had ever been capable of evoking such a rainbow of different feelings and sensations in every single caress. Safety, comfort, passion. Desire. Absolute lust. And more than anything else, love. Where his words failed, his touch and kisses would always remind her how much he loved her. How much he wanted her.

She and Michael had showered together countless times through the years. In fact, since he finally had been able to get over his own hang-ups and had accepted the basic fact that Lisa adored him for the man he was, no charade or make-believe needed, showering together had been one of their most favorite activities. Maybe it was because of how intimate and safe that confined space would feel, or perhaps it was due to the languid, slow lovemaking sessions that it would often entail. Whatever the case, the shower stall had always been such a special place for them.

Her eyes still closed, she realized that the memories had become images in her mind. Only, they were almost tangible. She could almost feel the unmistakable scent of Michael’s skin wrap itself around her again. His lips on her shoulder, his teeth gently biting her as his hands teased, explored her, got her ready for what she knew would come next. The memories were back and this time she couldn’t stop them.

Lisa placed one hand against the tiled wall and her other hand slid down, at first just caressing her abdomen, then moving up again and fondling her breasts, and finally moving down one more time, until she found the source of her discomfort. Or her desire. Biting her lip, she began to touch herself while mental images of Michael making love to her kept flooding her vision. Taking her from behind, his strong hands holding her waist. Or facing her, while holding her in his arms, pushing her up against the wall. His face just a few inches away from her, his breath, his lips, his kisses.

Within seconds, she came hard and could not repress a moan. Her breath was uneven and she leaned her forehead against the tiles, panting. God, she missed him. Maybe she hadn’t realized how much she missed him until now. And she didn’t know how she would be able to survive this week, all things considered.

The last rational part of her mind whispered to her through the fog of that barely contained longing.

Remember what happened in France, at that station. Don’t let him play with your feelings anymore.

Lisa could only hope that she would be strong enough to do just that.