Orpheus | Installment Three – Connecting

“Her forehead where the golden light of evening spread,
The curve of her neck, the slope of her shoulders, everything
Down to her thighs and calves, letting the words come,
As if lifted from sleep, to drift upstream,
Against the water’s will, where all the condemned
And pointless labor, stunned by his voice’s cadence,
Would come to a halt, and even the crazed, disheveled
Furies, for the first time, would weep, and the soot-filled
Air would clear just enough for her, the lost bride,
To step through the image of herself and be seen in the light.”

– Mark Strand, “Orpheus Alone”, 1990

Connecting

“I feel something else break through the numbness. Something raw. Something primal. Something visceral.” ― Sam A. Patel, Data Runner

Mike glanced at his clock. Five more minutes and then, finally, the torture would be over. Hopefully, the ending would also be the beginning of something different. Something better. Oh, he and Lisa had talked – about his job. Which was the reason why she was there after all. But of course, he was no fool, and neither was she. It was incredible how they had managed to pull out an apparently professional conversation while their eyes said and did something entirely different.

It had been three days since their encounter in the swimming pool area, and also the first time they saw each other again. Pretending nothing had happened at all.

The night after Lisa had found him passed out on the deck chair, coming home from work Mike had gone up to her floor and had left a bag of Persian food from another street bar on Level 2 in front of her door. He had scribbled a quick message on a piece of paper.

“What about a Persian dinner? Holocard #2 in the bag.

PS: there are plenty of other places I can think of. So I guess you won’t get rid of me that easily…

M.”

She had never said a word to him, and he hadn’t seen her at all at Electron Enterprises, although he knew she was there, holed up in her office and busy with her one-to-one counseling sessions. John Feeney had looked high and on the verge of wetting his pants after spending his “solo” hour with her and Mike had fought the urge to punch him in the face. But then again, he had remembered that Feeney was nothing but an irrelevant, witless butt-licking pecker and that he shouldn’t be worried about him. Feeney’s “solo sessions” involved much more than counseling and Mike had way more important things to think about. Like what to say to Lisa during what could potentially be their last meeting.

They had both let their counseling session go through the motions for a good fifty minutes, and now discomfort and tension had finally become apparent.

“…I think…” Lisa sighed and ran her fingers over her foldable tablet. The screen went black. “…I think I have all the information I need. And I do hope these sessions were a positive experience for you.”

Yeah. They were a positive experience alright. In a way. Yet it all depended on what would happen next. Otherwise, a big, gaping hole would be the only thing left in that place inside of him where Lisa already resided. Mike grinned to himself, a sad, little smile, and looked down at his boots. Was she ending the conversation there and then and sending him his own merry way?

“OK…” He replied, his voice even.

Lisa paused, biting her lips.

“And… I also wanted to tell you that… that Persian food was great.”

Mike’s eyes looked up and found hers. Her eyes. And a slight grin on her lips.

“…But the first one was better.”

“The Cambodian takeaway?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah…” Mike smiled. “I think you’re right. So?”

“So, what?”

“Dinner? Later, tonight?” Oh, he was bulldozing all over her cute stalling like a tank, and he knew it. But he was more than willing to take his risks because that was what his instinct suggested him to do.

This time, the confusion painted on Lisa’s face was real. She laughed.

“You just don’t know when to stop, do you?”

“Oh, I do know when to stop. And now it’s not the right time.” He hoped he looked self-confident enough to hide how nervous he felt.

Say yes. I know you’re calling me. I see the way you’re looking at me now. It’s the same way I’m looking at you. As if we’re entangled, intertwined. Connected. Almost like making love without even touching.

“I don’t wanna talk about my private life while I’m working, Mike. And I am working now…” Lisa tried her last, useless defense against what she already knew would be inevitable.

“Is that another no?” His tone was careful. Hesitant.

She closed her eyes for a moment and shook her head.

“It’s not a no. It’s a… ah, it’s a, please Mike give me a minute to think about this while I’m not focused on something else.”

“Is it really so hard to say yes, Lisa?”

“In this case? Yeah… Yes, it is.”

Wasn’t that somehow an admission of… something? He licked his lips. Glancing down again.

“I just want you to know that I felt you, that night, behind the door. I think you were there, Lisa. Were you? Looking at me on the videodoorbell screen… I felt you. I was there because I wanted to tell you something, you know? And then eventually… I chickened out and left.”

“What did you want to tell me?”

He ignored her question.

“I left and went back to my apartment and thought to myself… first thing tomorrow, I’m gonna talk to Sydney and tell her that I don’t wanna see Lisa anymore. No more counseling sessions for me. And if I’ll get a disciplinary proceeding for that, so be it. I don’t care.”

He raised his head and they stared at each other. Mike could tell that she was stunned. That she was not expecting this – not in the least. Good.

“But -”

“No. Wait. And you know why?”

“…Why?” She replied, very calmly.

“Because this ain’t how I wanna do this thing. Waiting, and then waiting some more. Being all confused, not knowing if you feel about me the way I feel about you. Either I can talk to you freely, man to woman, or it’s best if I don’t talk to you at all. That’s how I see it. I know you’re here because you got a job to do, I respect that, but at least I gotta know, Lisa… If I’m a deluded idiot or not. Am I imagining things? Thinking that you like me… just a little bit?” He tilted his head, arching his eyebrows. He needed an answer.

Lisa was completely taken aback by the utter honesty of his words… and by the urgency she felt in them. As if he had no time – or thought he had no time.

“You can… talk to me freely.”

“About my job.” He looked at her, smiling in a sarcastic way that tried to hide his utter impatience. Lisa already knew Mike was not the kind of man who dealt well with rules and limits imposed by others. That had been clear since day one. Well, he would have to learn.

“Yes. Yes!” Finally, snapping out of her self-control, Lisa threw her hands in the air, a bit exasperated. Because he wouldn’t relent and because she didn’t want him to. And that pissed her off to no end – way more than his reckless behavior. “You and I, here, in this building… in this office. What do you want me to say? What do to expect us to do?”

He set his jaw.

“Nothing. You’re right. We can do nothing.”

“That’s right. Rules exist for a reason, Mike. I done told you. Job comes first – I told you, we can’t have any deep personal conversation or relationship until this is over. It’s ending now, and you already-”

“And I already am badgering you, I know. But all I’m asking you is… Am I a deluded moron? Am I making up stuff in my mind?”

Lisa closed her eyes and took a deep, cleansing breath. OK. At this point, she was sure he would not leave without an answer.

“No, Mike. You’re not deluded. But…” She shook her head. “Now is not the right time. Let me finish my job. And then we’ll talk… later, today, after work.”

Mike bit the inside of his cheek and stayed quiet for a minute. Then rose from the chair, sighing.

“OK…”

“Sounds good?”

“I’ve heard things that sound better, but OK… I guess.” That sarcastic, lopsided smirk, again. Damn him! And his food. And his eyes. At this rate, she wasn’t going to make it out of the building without strangling him. Or jumping his bones.

Lisa nodded and got up as well, walking with him to the door, clearing her throat and trying hard to regain some resemblance of self-control. Because she had been honest with him: she could not allow personal feelings to intrude her time at work. She knew they were being watched – they were all being watched. Surveillance cameras, microphones… had he forgotten where they were? How unprofessional their little chat would sound? And although Mike apparently did not care about rules and guidelines, she did. Because she needed that job. It didn’t matter that her dad would quickly intervene and send her any amount of money she’d ask for. Lisa wanted to be respected as the professional that she was. She didn’t want to be daddy’s little girl.

So… her telling Mike that yes, she indeed wanted to go out with him, have dinner with him, speak to him freely, woman to man, and not consultant to employee, would have to wait. The last thing Lisa needed right now was an army of butterflies fluttering in her stomach for the rest of the day, as she tried to listen to other people’s issues with their job.

The night she had opened the door and found a new set of food containers neatly placed on her doormat, her heart had taken a leap. A minute later, she had felt guilty – as if she was cheating on Maxwell somehow. On Maxwell, who by the way was the only unfaithful son of a bitch in the picture. Lisa thought she seriously needed to have her head examined, because it was obvious that something in her brain didn’t function well.

Anyway, since that night she had decided that, after her final counseling session with Mike, she would tell him that she wanted to see him – outside their workplace. After their professional relationship was severed. And now he was being a freaking bully – in the most endearing, irresistible way.

Oh yeah, she did like Mike Jackson. A lot. She had no idea why, but she liked him. And it was getting harder and harder to deny it. To him. Or to herself.

Lisa left him in the corridor, after saying goodbye and promising him they would talk again in a few hours. Pushing back from his aura. And needing to take a breath of fresh air before her next meeting.

He stared at her as she walked away. As her figure, once in 1:1 scale, now shrank in his eyes. All the while growing more and more in his heart. Gosh, he had it bad. The passion he felt for this woman rendered him speechless.

Neither Mike, nor Lisa, could imagine what was going to happen later that day. The smallest trigger, generating the most unexpected bang.

She didn’t recognize herself. This was not her. Lisa leaned against the closed door. She needed to leave. Be outside, maybe even go down to the lower levels. Or back home in San Francisco altogether. All of a sudden the hypocrisy of everything was striking her like a battering ram, and she felt nauseous.

Yet the joke was on her. Apparently, her taste in men was fallacious at its roots. It didn’t matter where she went, San Francisco or New York City or any other place were all the same: she was always the dumb bitch on stage.

Thinking that she had managed to postpone her conversation with Mike made her feel slightly better. That gave her the chance to correct her initial intention. Especially after finding out that the sweet and charming guy with the magnetic personality and the soulful eyes had just had his dick sucked by some girl, down at Level 2, right before Lisa found him passed out on that deck chair. Wanting to kiss him so bad it hurt. Thank you, John Feeney, she thought sarcastically, shaking her head.

Oh, it all had started off so well. After her counseling session with Mike, she had managed to go through her other meetings feeling lighter, happier, more relaxed and full of delicious anticipation. She hadn’t felt that exhilarated in… well, she had never felt that way before. The hours had gone by and, in the afternoon, she had taken fifteen minutes to unwind and empty her mind before her last session of the day. Classic coffee break, nothing major.

Lisa had sauntered to the cafeteria which, on a side note, was splendid. For all the technological purity that Electron Enterprises loved to show in every room, every hall, every corridor, the vintage-looking snack bar was absolutely delicious and so different from the surrounding environment. Seemingly extracted from a 1900s production, with a sign on the entrance that said: “Please, take a moment to relax in complete privacy.” Even its name was self-explanatory, in a way: Speakeasy.

Miss Bankmann had told Lisa that she cared so much about the well-being of her employees that she had set up the cafeteria as the only space in the building were microphones were not allowed – only basic surveillance cameras, for security reasons. Everything else was just the way the world had once been, and the bartender was not a robot, but a middle-aged guy looking like a background actor from the Casablanca movie. The bar offered the most delicious treats, from donuts to muffins, from brownies to milkshakes, prepared and served as if they were made with real ingredients. Even the coffee was the best Lisa had ever tasted in her life. And that was why she was there. She needed a few minutes in a place that didn’t look like an office.

Entering the cafe, she had noticed Mike and his colleague, Maddix, chatting as they sat at a small, round table near the counter. Apparently, they too were taking a break. Instinctively she had smiled, butterflies taking off in her belly once again. The guys hadn’t seen her, and she was thinking about walking past them and waving hello when Feeney had approached them. His boisterous laugh making Mike’s head turn to him immediately. Lisa had barely had the time to notice the annoyed look on his face before his back was the only thing she saw.

Feeney, as usual as delicate, soft and inconspicuous as a motor truck, had spoken in his typical, loud voice.

“Yo, Jackson – we have a woman in common, you and I.”

Lisa hadn’t made out Mike’s answer, as he kept his voice low.

Another one of Feeney’s laughs.

“Yeah, Nilah! Nilah Garcia. Remember? Down at Level 2… Blond hair, beautiful tattoos, smoking hot body, tits to die for… and those cock-sucking skills you, too, experienced first-hand just the other day…”

Mike had fidgeted in his chair, mumbling something, and Feeney had looked down at him with his hands on his hips.

“What? How drunk were you, if you don’t remember? When was it? Three nights ago, that’s what she told me.”

Lisa had frozen in place, stiffening. All the while, Mike had risen from the chair, talking to Feeney in a very calm, low tone, stepping closer to him. Lisa couldn’t tell if Mike’s body language expressed comradeship or annoyance. She could only see his back, not his face. She had seen Mike’s hand rise, and then he had pointed his finger at Feeney. John had laughed once again.

“Don’t be shy, Mike. She told me you can have her anytime you want. Sooner or later you’ll have to tell me how you make women fall at your feet so easily…”

Yeah, how indeed? John wasn’t wrong, all things considered.

The bitter taste of disappointment was hard to tolerate without wincing. When Feeney had noticed her, Lisa had felt all color drain from her face.

“And she… oh, hey Miss Lisa!” Feeney had waved at her and Mike had immediately turned. Their eyes had met and he had looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

She had blinked, tipping her head toward Feeney. Mike had opened his mouth to say something, then had moved a step in her direction.

No. She didn’t want him anywhere near her.

Almost in an automatic motion, Lisa had spun on her heels and had walked out of the bar, quickly marching back to her office. But it was way too far, and her head spun. She needed a place – she needed a moment to collect herself. And she had found that storage room. Lisa had about ripped the door open and then had slammed it shut behind her back, as her peripheral vision intercepted Mike, at the other end of the corridor, near the swinging cafe doors, glancing left and right, looking for her. There had been a fleeting moment when she was pretty sure he had seen her, and that was why she had locked the door.

The frantic knocking on the metal slate startled her, and she gasped.

“Lisa… open up!”

It was him. Of course, he had found her. She didn’t reply and he knocked harder this time. When he spoke again, she could tell that his lips were practically grazing the surface of the door.

“Lisa… please. Open up. I gotta talk to you.” His voice sounded nervous, concerned.

“Go away.” She managed to blurt out the words as flatly as she could. “There’s nothing to talk about, and I gotta go back to work.”

A moment of silence followed.

“You gonna have your meetings in that storage room?”

She swallowed and took a deep breath. It would have been funny, hadn’t it been so fucking painful.

“No. I need you to go away so that I can go back to my office.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Please, Mike, just go away…”

“Not until you let me explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain. Just leave. It’s fine.”

She heard him slam his hand against the door and jumped. When he spoke, his voice was a whisper charged with anxiety and concern.

“It’s not fucking fine. Open the door. I ain’t leaving until I talk to you. So you better open up, girl.”

Arrogant asshole! His tone lit a fire under her ass and she turned, speaking in the non-existent space between the door and the doorframe so that he could hear her well.

“Go back to your colleagues, Mister Jackson. You’re making a scene.”

“I am making a scene? You are the one locked into a freakin’ storage room!”

“Because you’re assaulting me!” She hissed.

“What the fuck?” He sounded incredulous. “OK. I’ve had it. I’mma call the janitor and ask for a pass. And then I’m coming in. Whether you like it or not.”

She should be the one whatthefucking him. Was he for real? They were barely acquaintances and they acted like they meant something to each other? Like they had been fighting effortlessly for centuries? Ridiculous! And why was she so upset over nothing anyway? Lisa ripped the door open and he almost tumbled in, then grabbed the door handle and slammed the door shut once again. Locking it and turning to stare at her. He was pale, and droplets of sweat had appeared on his forehead. Lisa could tell how nervous he was. He also looked hot.

She cleared her throat and held his gaze, her arms folded.

“OK, well. Since you’re here, I guess it’s time for me to give you that answer. No, Mike – I am not having dinner with you, and I am not going out with you. Not now, not ever.”

The stillness of his face told her that he was expecting that, in some ways. However, she saw his jaw tensing.

“Why?” He stepped closer and, instinctively, Lisa stepped back. “Because of what Feeney said?”

She scoffed.

“I don’t care about what he said. In fact, you can do whatever… and whoever you want. Same rule applies to me.”

His eyes darted. Was that a glint of jealousy? Possessiveness? Over a stranger? She was nothing to him! What the hell was that?

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Lisa. You gotta -”

“I gotta go back to my office. Someone’s waiting for me.”

“Yeah,” he sneered, dryly, “no shit.”

“Look – better now than later, right? And better safe than sorry. I am not gonna do this. There’s nothing between us and I am not gonna get involved with someone who-”

“So it is because of what you think you heard… Because of what he said.” Mike’s voice was calm but charged with electricity. It almost knocked her off her feet. She took another deep breath, breaking eye contact.

“I know what I’ve heard. And you know what… it’s fine, Mike. I mean- you don’t owe me anything. You are free to do whatever you want, but so am I. And I don’t think I wanna go out with someone who, very conveniently, forgot to tell me he’s seeing other women. It’s that simple.”

“But I am not!” His eyes widened and he stepped closer, once again. When Lisa moved back, trying so hard to keep her distance, her back collided with a metal rack and she flinched. She needed to get out of there. “I am not… seeing other women, Lisa. I mean, I do know that girl, Nilah, but, I didn’t do what Feeney said. She just… danced for me.”

Lisa blinked, biting her lips. Remembering how even Maxwell had told her that she was wrong, that it was all a huge misunderstanding. When she had caught him with that other girl. With his hands in the cookie jar. Or, in Maxwell’s case, in the coochie jar.

“Do you really believe him? And not me? After…” Mike shook his head and his eyes started their usual scrutinizing process Lisa had come to like so much during the previous days. And that she now hated just as much.

“After what? Why should I believe you, anyway? I don’t know you.” She winced. “I don’t know you at all. Plus, Feeney was very specific about what that girl said she did… so it’d be a pretty major glitch if you ask me.”

The flash of pain in his eyes couldn’t be mistaken for anything else.

“Lisa – I am telling you. I have no idea if that girl lied to him or if he misread her words. Which wouldn’t surprise me, since that fool doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. But I know what I did. And it’s nothing like John said. I…” His head dropped, and he let out a frustrated sigh.

Lisa swallowed.

“Mike… You know what? I don’t care. I really don’t.” Her voice had lost all color. The flatness of it scared him and, for the first time, he felt her slipping away for real. Even before he had the chance to hold onto her. Which was what he felt he needed to do.

“Well, I do care. You don’t wanna see me anymore? Fine. I can accept that… not that easy, but hey… I guess I’ll survive, right?” The grin he gave her was completely devoid of joy. “But I will not let you leave this room convinced I’m some sort of… manwhore… or whatever… if I can help it.”

“I am not judging you. I don’t have the right to. I am just saying that you had almost gotten me, and…” She bit her tongue. No. He didn’t need to know that. Shit!

“Had I?” His voice so very low, and Lisa’s eyes flew straight into his, once again. Oh, he knew he had. And if he ever had any doubts, they were now pulverized.

“It doesn’t matter. I gotta go.”

She shook her head and tried to walk past him. Mike grabbed her hand, ever so gently, at the contact stopped her in her tracks. He intertwined his fingers with hers. The smallest gesture, yet so intimate. The biggest blast.

“It does matter…”

The slightest pull and her body almost came in touch with his. She inhaled his scent, heard him breathing. Saw his chest rising and falling in the intensity of the moment. She knew she was fucked. She also knew she was still raw from her previous experience and, once again, the depth of the attraction she felt for this man petrified her. She was afraid she would give him enough room to maneuver himself into her life. She was scared to trust him. And, more than anything else, she was afraid to fall for him and get crushed in the process.

Mike bent his head just enough to whisper in her ear, his breath caressing her skin. Lisa shivered.

“I did go to that bar and asked that girl to dance for me that night. Yes. Nothing else happened. And I went down there because I was going crazy. Crazy with desire after seeing you, spending time with you. In this friggin’ building. Sitting across your desk and talking to you like I’d never talked to anyone else. Wanting so much just to take you into my arms and kiss you… and hold you.”

Lisa closed her eyes, trying as much as she could to keep his words, and their meaning, out. It didn’t work. Shaken to the core by his gentle, yet demanding efforts to find a way to tell her exactly how he felt. And she could tell how difficult it was, for him. He too had trust issues.

“So, there… that’s why I did it. Could it have gone the way Feeney said? Yes. Of course. But it didn’t. I went back home, fell asleep in that deckchair where you found me. And you know what? I had been dreaming about you. You’re always on my mind… I don’t know why. And it scares the living shit outta me.”

She brought herself to look at him, finally. His face was guarded, not a trace on his beautiful features giving away anything. But his eyes were open. Honest. Speaking volumes.

“OK,” was all she managed to say. Her voice barely audible. But he heard her – and his eye softened.

“OK?”

Lisa nodded, just slightly.

“Please… see me. Later today. Down at Level 2. There’s an old movie theater… it’s called the Rosebud. Meet me there… at eight. They…” He swallowed and his thumb caressed the back of her hand. Lisa felt warmth invade her nerve endings. “…They play old movies. You’ll like it, I promise… And then, after the movie, I wanna show you something. It’s worth it, believe me. Please, come, Lisa. Come. I’ll be waiting for you.”

“I don’t know…” With the last ounce of willpower left, she disentangled her fingers from his. The metronome of her desire swinging too dangerously in the direction of his lips. She needed a breather.

“Please, come,” Mike repeated, softly. “I’ll be waiting for you.”

Her feet overcame their paralysis and she finally moved toward the door. She left him there, and walked back to her office, feeling numb and emptied. And burning at the same time.

The emotional effect of the movie was still intact, even after so many years. Hitchcock knew how to turn improbabilities into possibilities, and he guided his viewers to fill any lack of realism with their own imagination. It still worked so well, and Lisa found herself staring at the huge, dusty screen mouth agape. Very few movies could express denial of death like the one she was watching. And she loved how Kim Novak seemed to split in two, interpreting two women, and then somehow making those two women become one. It was fascinating to watch.

For a moment, Lisa forgot that Mike was late. And maybe that was why she almost jumped in her seat when he quietly sat down next to her, in the darkness. How did he manage to move so silently? He didn’t walk. He glided.

“Hi…”

He handed her a can of popcorn. Another peace offer, after his words in the storage room. Lisa gave him a strained smile.

“No, thanks… I’m not hungry.”

“You sure?”

They were whispering, and although the old movie theater was almost empty, someone shushed them from the front seats. Mike sunk deep into his chair.

“Yes,” Lisa mouthed, leaning her head closer to him. In the darkness, he smirked.

“Well, this stuff is probably as ancient as that movie, so…” He made a face and placed the can of popcorn on the floor, then glanced around. “You like?”

Lisa just nodded, and he bit his lip. For a moment, he looked like a kid trying hard not to smile about something making him enthusiastic. And relieved.

“I’m so happy you came…”

She set her jaw. She was happy to be there, too. Happy he hadn’t stood her up. Something at one point she had thought he was going to do. A buzzing feeling of concern also accompanied her happiness. Bliss often meant hope, and she didn’t know if there was space left in her for that. Lisa was pretty sure Mike had been honest, earlier that day, during their little fight in the storage room. Even now, reeling the memory back in her mind, she could not see any trace of deceit in his words or his face. That was the only reason why she was at the movie theater after having toyed for hours with the idea of just going back home, after work. Plus, there was still that uncanny feeling of intimate connection she felt for Mike. So she had decided to give him a chance – but herself, too.

Mike didn’t know that she had a passion for everything that was related to the old world. He had never seen her apartment, didn’t know about the small “comfort room,” as Lisa called it, she had furnished only with vintage pieces and furniture. That tiny room full of old books and music, where she loved to unwind listening to old songs, playing on that just as old record player. She adored the crackling sound that accompanied the music; she cherished those voices coming from the past as if she had known them personally. Mike didn’t know anything about that and yet he had chosen a particular place to meet her. This place. Another bit of mistrust got chipped away in Lisa’s heart and she rested her head back, in the fluffy red velvet chair.

He leaned closer once again.

“Vertigo was released in 1958… can you imagine? Have you ever watched it before?”

She tilted her head closer to his, but her eyes stayed focused on the screen. Where Madeleine was saying that “only one is a wanderer; two together are always going somewhere.”

“Yes… once. I love the novel it is based on… D’entre Les Morts.”

“What?” Mike narrowed his eyes.

“I said, I love the novel this movie was based on. D’Entre Les Morts, by Boileau-Narcejac. It means ‘From Among the Dead’…”

His eyebrows sprung up.

“Oh. OK.” He cleared his throat. “Fucking A, then!”

“Hey! Would you guys shush?!” The voice came, once again, from the front seats and this time Lisa smirked, seeing Mike roll his eyes.

“You heard the man,” she whispered, placing a finger on her own lips, “Shush!”

He smiled at her, playfully, and for a moment the movie was forgotten. They were so close, that he could smell the scent of her hair. His hand clenched into a fist, as he fought the urge to reach out and touch her. Take her finger and kiss it. Blinking, he sank back into his chair once again instead.

They watched the movie in silence for several minutes, just reveling in the poetry, tension and all in all beauty of it all. And in the presence of one another. The voices on screen were loud and so very clear in their words, and in their message.

“Listen to me. Listen to me.”

“You believe I love you?”

“Yes.”

“And if you lose me, then you’ll know, I… I loved you. And I wanted to go on loving you.”

“I won’t lose you. I hope we will, too.”

“What?”

“Meet again sometime.”

“We have.”

Then she felt his hand on top of hers. Butterflies rose in her stomach and she didn’t move. Even when he started to caress her skin, his fingertips gently moving on the back of her hand, she stood still. Mike was a brazen guy, it didn’t matter how genuinely shy he looked at times. Lisa had a feeling he was the kind of man who would go after what he wanted, once he had his goal clear. Right now, the mere contact of his warm skin against hers was enough to put her entire body on alert. Her internal alarm buzzed. Her heart soared. The whirlwind of heat in the pit of her chest became a white-hot nova star. In a daze, she turned her hand and her palm softly collided with Mike’s. Their hands brushed against one another, a slow, tantalizing back and forth movement that felt as enticing as was suggestive. Lisa swallowed and, when she glanced at him, she noticed that his eyes were closed. This was affecting him just as much.

As the movie progressed they kept caressing each other like that, neither daring to speak, both afraid the spell would break and they would find themselves back in a world where such simple gestures were out of fashion, seen as inappropriate.

Then, at one point, Mike did it again: he interlaced his fingers with hers. Their hands fit so perfectly, it was unreal. This time he held her tight, though, and Lisa let out a shaky breath. When she turned her head to him, he was staring at her, and she marveled at the cleanness and intensity of his eyes, even in the almost complete darkness.

And she – well, she was just so beautiful that Mike was at a loss for words. He had turned to tell her something – to tell her that she made him feel in a way he had never felt before, but the moment he saw her staring back at him, the complete silence he felt in his heart reverberated on his lips. And the words he wanted to say evaporated. There was no need. She knew. She could tell. Mike was aware that everything he felt was right there, written on his face, for her to see. He was disarmed.

Before he had the chance to think about the appropriateness of it all, his other hand came up and rested on her cheek. He turned fully in his seat, facing her, wanting so much to just absorb her into him with one single look. So to never have to leave her again. He traced the outline of her face and felt her shiver when his fingertips touched her jawline. His dreams had been intense, but they could not compare to the detonating magnitude of the real thing.

Lisa’s lips parted and he let out a shaky breath. Focusing on her face in the dimly lit theater, he became aware of everything that made her, her. He had been watching her intently for days, but not this up-close and personal. Her beauty was stunning, seemingly resurrected from another world, another time, another space. She kept watching him, her hooded, blue eyes losing focus as if she was somehow lost in thought – or in the moment.

Suddenly feeling very brave, Mike scooted even closer to her and inhaled her scent. The moment his breath hit her skin, Lisa trembled again and her grip on his hand tightened. This was crazy. And irresistible. Her hair tickled his face and he bit his lip, dragging himself back to reality and fighting the urge to kiss her. But the caresses continued.

And it was right then that it hit him, square in the face. Her outburst, earlier that day, had stunned and upset him. The idea of her believing him to be something different than what he was had been intolerable. The possibility of being rejected and never seeing her again unfathomable. But now, as her hand mirrored his action and rested on his face, as her fingers traced his jawline and his evening stubble, as her breath caught and she leaned her head closer to his, their foreheads touching, he realized it. Her tenderness was the most powerful weapon. And he would not be able to protect himself.

“Are you sure it’s safe?”

“Hey… you’re with me, right? Look – I was born on Level 2. I know every corner by heart. Don’t worry.” He turned and smiled at her.

Mike didn’t know how he had been able to survive the entire movie without kissing her. Right before the lights invaded the theater and the end credits appeared on screen, he had finally mustered the courage to close the small gap separating him from Lisa. But then the white light sweeping away the comforting blanket of darkness had made him feel small and insecure, and he had backed off.

Glancing at her, he had noticed that she looked dazed, disoriented even. Yeah, he knew the feeling. The only thing he had been able to do was keeping things light: after all, their night out hadn’t come to an end yet. And he had promised to show her a very special place.

This place. Silver Grounds. The park he had loved so much when he was a kid – before his life as he had known it came to an abrupt, unspeakably horrifying end.

“So we’re not gonna get robbed… or kidnapped… or anything…” Lisa sounded doubtful and he giggled.

“No, I promise. Come on, Lisa…” He turned once again and took a moment to stare at her.

This time she laughed.

“Stop staring at me! Why do you have to do that?”

He just shrugged and pulled her along, through the artificial greenery, the neatly maintained walkways tracing the outline of the small lake.

“Don’t you like it?”

“No, I love it… I mean, I don’t get why we’re here, but…”

“Well, like I said – I’m in charge of this date. So you gotta trust me.”

Trust him. Yeah. Lisa’s heart didn’t want anything but that. Her mind, supposedly the most rational part of her, was missing in action. Her heart, and Mike’s presence inside of it, had taken all the available space and she didn’t know what to do with all that sudden fullness. She just decided to let him guide her through this place that, he had told her, meant so much to him.

She glanced around, noticing a vast field of bright green grass accompanied by overgrown shrubs and small flower bushes. Nothing was natural – it was all made of buttonlace, a type of soft resin, velvety to the touch. Nothing was real but all looked realistic enough to leave her mouth agape. She hadn’t imagined anything like that could exist on Level 2.

“I know – but Level 2 wasn’t always like this, you know?”

Mike’s voice brought her back to reality. She had said the words out loud, apparently.

“I guess… It must have been even more beautiful, back then…”

“It was.”

He stopped, turning to her. Reluctantly, he let go of her hand. Lisa found herself mourning the loss.

“The citizens of this neighborhood are taking care of this park. And they’re doing a great job. I still come here every now and then… it’s so peaceful. Look…” He pointed at the field that Lisa had noticed passing by. “See those larger flower bushes? I love how they look like they’re growing in all sorts and sizes, but…”

“But?”

She couldn’t help it. This time she reached out, taking his hand. Mike had been about to say something and just stared at her instead, blinking. Surprised. Pleased.

Lisa inhaled a deep breath.

“But?”

He tilted his head.

“But this is not what I wanted to show you…” His voice dropped in tone, becoming even more tantalizing than usual. Holding her hand, he guided her to the left and beyond some huge stones that hid the best spot in the park.

Mike glanced up.

“Look…”

Lisa followed his gaze and, finally, she saw it. The tall, proud sycamore. Her eyes widened.

“Is it…?”

“Yeah…” He smiled, his dark eyes moving, taking in every detail. “It’s real… And great care and love have made it the biggest attraction in this garden… Because it’s alive…”

Lisa had seen some real trees in her life, but never anything this massive. The Silver Grounds sycamore probably reached up to a hundred feet and she noticed that, near the ground, the main trunk was divided into several secondary trunks. She loved the spreading, irregular limbs at the top, the fibrous roots, the open head. It was majestic and, still holding onto Mike’s hand, she stepped closer to the tree, her free hand gently touching the mottled bark, flaking off in irregular masses. Her palm ran over the greenish, white, grey and brown surface. Suddenly she felt like crying. When she turned, Mike was there, his eyes dark and shiny, soulful.

“Can you imagine what this tree must have seen?” He said, ignoring the frantic drumming of his heartbeat.

Lisa nodded and leaned into the trunk, resting her back against it. Hidden under the umbrella of sticky, green buds, Mike felt protected and safe. Invisible. That tree always made him feel that way. It was one of his most precious memories in the world, and he wanted Lisa to share it with him. Because she, too, was precious to him. Although he had no idea why.

“Lisa…”

“Yes, Mike…”

“I am trying so hard, girl, but I really wanna kiss you… kiss you for real…”

He felt a sudden wave of warmth to his cheeks and his eyes lowered.

Lisa didn’t reply. Her small hand perfectly still in his grasp. Good sign. Right?

He cleared his throat that suddenly felt as dry as sandpaper.

“I mean… Look, I know you probably think I’m going too fast, and I know you’re hurt because of some airheaded prick back in San Francisco but maybe – I don’t know, Lise… I just think that, if you keep going over the past, you’re gonna end up with a thousand pasts and no future, and I am here now… we are here now, I-”

She pulled him into her and their lips collided. He didn’t have time to think about what was happening but his body moved on autopilot, knowing what to do as if it had been doing it forever. One hand against the trunk, the other tangled in her hair, he tasted her and it was inebriating. His head spun and something stirred inside. The small moan, the sigh of relief coming from her mouth almost made him weak at the knees. He pulled back, watching her. Her eyes were huge and blue.

She looked scared. Not at all in control of herself.

“I am sorry, I just…”

The knot in his stomach tightened and, shaking his head, he silenced her with another kiss. Way deeper, much more passionate. This time, the little purr she let out was accompanied by her hands coming up, one on the back of his head, holding him close, the other on his chest.

“Why do I have to do that… keep staring at you…” He spoke in between kisses. “…’cause I can’t get enough looking at you… shit…”

This was not something either of them could resist, and Mike pressed his body against hers, loving the feeling of her tongue into his mouth, responding to his attack just as fiercely, her hand reaching back, grabbing his belt, holding onto it as if it was some sort of lifesaver. It was his first real kiss, possibly hers too, and he hoped he knew what he was doing and that he was doing it right. Because sure as hell, kissing her felt astonishing. How could something so right be considered wrong?

His lips descended, leaving a hot path on her neck and Lisa’s head fell back, her breath short. Their entire systems in overdrive, they were on fire. And in a public place.

“God… Mike… We gotta…”

He just groaned something intelligible and fisted his hand in her hair. And she knew it. His passion, coated with a tenderness she had never experienced with anyone, made him both her enigma and her answer She recognized her rousing pleasure and felt his, too, the moment his body came in full contact with hers. His hard bulge pressing against her belly. The warmth in her body intensified, her flesh tingled.

She gasped and his mouth left her. His breath, too, was erratic. And the scent of him – she didn’t think she had ever smelled anything so wonderful, unique and familiar at the same time.

Mike glanced down at himself and blushed, biting his lip, obviously trying hard to control the reaction of his body.

But at that moment, whether or not the time was right, there was nothing that Lisa would deny him. Realizing it was as jarring as it was exhilarating.

“It’s OK…” She whispered, framing his face with both hands, panting, wanting nothing more than kiss him again. “It’s OK… come here.”

Soundtrack