Orpheus | Installment Four – Falling

“Tonight,
you’re the swan, lost among pinholes of light,
your throat bitten by a black hole
that takes and takes and never fills. I kick,
stroke my tired arms to buoy this body.
It makes ring after perfect ring, but each one
breaks along the edge. You who never were,
did you look down on the world at last
and see that more won’t be enough? Not now.
Not ever. Want picks the human heart.
You’re the lie I won’t believe forever.”

– Blas Falconer, “To Orpheus”, 2007

Falling

“With him I couldn’t be anything but myself and that scared the crap out of me, because I had never existed like that before.”
― Carlyle Labuschagne, The Broken Destiny

He was not in the condition to make a phone call. Not right now, at least. Not as long as he sounded like he had been running non-stop for two hours straight. And of course, his breathing was not going to calm down anytime soon, as long as Lisa’s mouth was latched onto his neck. Kissing, licking his skin. Damn, he was sorry their long, sleepless night had come to an end. And so happy that a new day had started. It felt like the first day of the rest of his life. For the very first time in his entire existence it was no longer wash, rinse and repeat.

After kissing again and again under the huge sycamore, and reluctantly letting go of one another in fear of getting in trouble with the law, they had walked out of the park together, strolling down Providence Street hand in hand. On Level 2 people didn’t pay much attention to that kind of lightweight romantic stuff, and everyone seemed to mind their own business.

Just like every night, the rain had started pouring and the sudden jolt of cold had, for once, been welcomed. Mike needed something to placate the raging fury in his pants. It was embarrassing and thrilling at the same time, to be that turned on, to feel so alive. Of course, Lisa had noticed. It was hard to miss – no pun intended. But she had seemed pleased and the smoldering look in her eyes hadn’t exactly acted as a cold shower. Quite the opposite, in fact. Luckily, the thin rain had supplied the shock he needed to send some blood back to his upper head.

They had stopped to eat something at a street bar – the first one they found on their way back to the deck. Lisa had wolfed down two loaded baked potatoes and, at one point, she had glanced up at him, smirking.

“There you go again…”

“What?” He had smiled at her like a love-struck idiot.

“Staring…”

“Told you… I can’t get enough looking at you…” Once again his voice had dropped. “…kissing you…”

That dark hue in her blue irises had stirred something inside of him. Mike knew that what he felt was not just about sexual attraction. He understood that physical attraction could only go so far. And although in this case the passion was blinding, the way he felt about Lisa had something to do with much more profound, more intense feelings. They felt ancient and chalky, and yet underneath the veil of dust there was a sparkling, golden surface that only waited to be discovered. In due time he would know how to name it. For now, the whisper of his inner voice – “Love, Mike. What you feel is love” – was way too frightening and had to be put aside.

“Here… Stop it, and eat your food.” Lisa had handed him a forkful of her potatoes and he had opened his mouth, letting her feed him. God – how could something so trivial feel so amazingly beautiful? And sexy… He had chewed slowly, still staring at her and she had laughed.

“You’re impossible…” She had scooted closer, sitting on the edge of the bar stool. “Gosh, what a messy man…”

Her nimble, warm fingers had come up, brushing his mouth. He had stood still, just enjoying her touch. And when suddenly she had leaned forward, placing a quick kiss on his lips and then glancing around, blushing a little, his heart had swelled even more. At that point, he had started to wonder if his chest was big enough to make room for all that heart-ness.

After their private moment in the park, whatever tension had aggravated Lisa seemed to have abandoned her, as if she had just surrendered to something that was inevitable. Mike had noticed how relaxed she looked. Happy, even. Thrilled. Just like he felt. The sensation was uncanny, the emotional comfort too profound to be clarified by any rational analysis. Maybe feelings were just about that – experience. No formal explanation would do.

He and Lisa had reached the dock that connected Level 2 to 3 by taking the subway. At one point, the dark mezzanine had seemed the perfect place to kiss some more, Lisa pressed against a wall, Mike all over her little body that seemed to have been created just for him. They heartbeats racing in unison. His lips tracing the pulsing vein on her neck, her hand in his hair, her other hand on his hip, angling to the part of him that ached the most and yet not touching it. The sweetest torture imaginable. He was more than okay with it – the anticipation was terrific in its explosive intensity.

The little journey in the tube had been pure hell, too. The train was packed, and Mike had let Lisa sit in the only free seat left in the wagon. He had stood there, facing her, but leaning against the opposite wall. She had held his gaze and the air around them had felt thick and sticky all of a sudden. Yet she was way too far for Mike’s taste and, at one point, anxiety had rushed through him. There were too many people in there. Standing in between. Physically separating him from Lisa. Creating interference. Hiding her from his sight. He had frowned and fidgeted, trying to keep her always in his field of vision and, through the blur of the surrounding passengers, he had always found her. Her eyes, so bright, their color so shiny to be almost blinding. Soothing, comforting.

Until he had lost her in the crowd. And panic had assaulted him, slapping him in the face. He could not explain why he felt that way and knew, on a rational level, that it didn’t make any sense: he would find Lisa anyway, sooner or later. She had not evaporated, she was there, somewhere, surely looking for him too. The crowd would thin out and she would appear. And yet… suddenly the platform seemed a foreign planet and he had thought that he would never see her again. Fear had gripped his heart. Then he had felt stupid. A second later he had forgotten about how stupid he felt and had just started looking for her, desperately.

Her hand had gently touched his shoulder the moment he started to feel like drowning. Struggling to breathe like a fish dragged out of the water. She had found him first – and had held onto him for the shortest instant. The world had started spinning on its axis again. Wordlessly, they had ascended to Level 3 and had entered the Ozymandias Condo.

Mike had stepped out of the elevator at floor 61, wanting to walk Lisa to her door. And mentally preparing himself to go back down to his apartment, stiffy and all. Unlocking her apartment with her H-Pass, Lisa had hesitated for a moment, her gaze lowering. Then she had looked up at him. Those smoldering, hooded eyes again.

“Wanna come in for a drink?”

He had just nodded his head. And their first night together had started.

They had not made love, but they had spent hours kissing, touching, discovering each other’s body, whispering, talking, just reveling in the moment and its sudden revelations. Not wanting to sleep at all. And they almost hadn’t, until dawn painted the sky with its pink flames. Breaking through the greyness of the polluted blanket covering the megacity. Together, while having breakfast, Lisa and Mike had stared at the metropolis below. Buzzing and moving frantically as the day started.

Then they had ended up in Lisa’s bed, again. She was now draped over his chest, her lips on his neck, kissing and sucking on that hollow spot that made him shiver, crazy with desire, every time her tongue touched his warm skin. Her hand on his belly. His shirt partly unbuttoned. His penis painfully straining in his pants. His arousal sky-high. Once again, the sweetest torture imaginable and he wondered how long he would be able to hold on, before making a fool out of himself.

Mike ran his fingertips over Lisa’s back, under her t-shirt. The only thing she wore, together with her panties. They had managed to discard several layers of clothing throughout the night, but still hadn’t gone all the way. Feeling insecure and shy. They had not talked about what was happening, about what they were doing. But it was apparent that they were both experiencing it for the first time. At least to this extent. At least with this intensity.

Her skin felt soft and velvety to the touch, hot and smooth. Mike tipped her chin up gently and she lifted her head, and they kissed, again and again, their tongues dancing together. When he backed off, she opened her eyes and they were moist and soulful. Shit – this was too much. He needed a break.

“Lise… babe…”

“Mh…” Her lips on his collarbone and he shuddered.

“What are your plans for the day?”

“My plans for the day… It’s Friday, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” He tangled his fingers in her hair and kissed the top of her head, inhaling her scent.

“Then… I have no plans. I don’t have any meetings today… I’m free…”

Very convenient, since he didn’t want her to leave the bed. Possibly, ever.

She sought his lips once again and they kissed some more. Mike stood perfectly still as she gently bit his bottom lip, tracing it with her tongue, ignoring the instinct that was telling him to roll over, pin her down and take her with all the pent-up passion that had piled up throughout the night.

“I need to make a couple of phone calls…”

“Yeah?” She smiled against his lips and raked her hand through his curls. Probably guessing what he had in mind.

“Yeah…” One more kiss. “I wanna take the day off… I rarely do it, Sydney will have to understand. Maddix, too… I wanna be with you… if you want me…”

“Virtual telephone ready, Lisa. Can I find the number for you?”

The cheerful electronic female voice intruding their almost perfect silence made Mike jump. Lisa laughed.

“What the fuck.”

She rolled onto her back and rubbed her eyes.

“Sophie – thank you. We’ll take care of it. You can deactivate yourself for now.”

“Order received, Lisa. Have a nice day.”

She giggled.

“Yeah, you too…”

Turning to the side, leaning on his elbow, Mike looked down at her. His eyes were smiling.

“Your domotic A.I.?”

“Yep. You have one too, right?”

He played with a strand of her hair.

“Yeah… Its name is Echo. Way more obnoxious and ever-present than yours… but way less stealthy.”

Lisa laughed again.

“I trained Sophie well. She only intervenes when asked. She did it now because you said the magical words… phone call…” Her hand reached up and around his neck. Pulling him down to her mouth again. She spoke against his lips, in between kisses. “Looks like you always know what to say, to get a girl’s attention…”

“Do I, now…” His lips descended on her neck and her head fell back into the pillow. Her breath shallow. God, she smelled and tasted so good. “Well, I guess we’ll see if you’re right… let me just make these…” He lowered his voice, glancing around surreptitiously, “phone calls…”

Lisa giggled, then searched his lips once again. They couldn’t get enough of each other. This real sex stuff was addictive. It didn’t matter that they were still exploring the first base, only kissing and above-the-belt touching involved. It was already enough to make them go crazy. And crave for more. So much more.

Half-heartedly, Mike left the warm, soft cocoon of Lisa’s body and sat up, reaching for his phone on the nightstand. His eyes stayed focused on her. In the warm early morning light, lying on those crumpled sheets, only her white t-shirt and little black panties on, she was stunning. Heartbreakingly beautiful. She took his breath away.

Mike cleared his throat when Sydney picked up the phone.

“Mike… hello.”

“Hello, Sydney, how are you?”

“I’m very well. Surprised to hear from you so early… is everything alright?”

He coughed and hoped that his voice sounded appropriately miserable.

“Actually, ah… I’m feeling a bit under the weather… I think I’m getting a cold and, you know…”

“And you wanted to take the day off.”

“Yes. I hope you’re OK with it. I’m planning on just staying in bed and rest…”

Lisa’s hand caressed his knee and he swallowed. Oh yeah. He planned to stay in bed all day, alright. Resting was not the first of his priorities, though.

“Well, of course, Mike. If you are not well, I don’t want you to infect Hoover or anyone else. I hope you’ll feel better soon and that I’ll see you on Monday.”

Well, Miss Bankmann wasn’t making too much of a fuss. Great. Mike let out a relieved breath.

“I’m sure I’ll be back on track in no time, Sydney. Thanks a lot. And… I’m going to call Maddix right now and tell him.”

“Yes, you do that, Mike. And have a nice weekend. Get some rest and get better, OK?”

“Sure. Thanks again, Sydney. Goodbye.”

The moment he hung up the phone, Lisa sat up, kneeling on the bed, her beautiful, naked thighs in plain sight. Mike had another call to make, but first there was something else that he could not postpone. Leaning forward, he captured her mouth and they kissed, slowly, deeply.

“Call your friend, Mike…” She whispered, her hands running over his neck and shoulders. Her eyes on his lips. “You plan to stay in bed all day, remember?”

In between little pecks, he managed to do just that.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Maddix, it’s me…”

“Oh. Good morning, Mike.” A pause. “Are you OK? You sound breathless.”

“Do I? Well, it must be because I’m… ah, sick… In fact, I called to tell you that I’m taking the day off.”

“Did you tell Miss Bankmann?”

“Yes, of course she knows. You good? Did we have any deadline today? I don’t remember…”

He rubbed his forehead. It was the truth. It was hard to remember something when there was no blood left in his brain.

“Yes, project #2168 Mike. Voice and lips.” Another pause. “These are deadlines that must be respected for the samples’ delivery.”

Gosh, Maddix was already flipping out. Mike could tell from the undertone in his voice.

“Well, then we’re OK, Madd, because voice #2168 is ready. It’s on my computer. Just transfer the files to the 3D printer and you’re good to go. Can you do that?”

Maddix sighed.

“I guess I can, yes. Next time call me sooner, though.”

Mike laughed.

“Yes, buddy. Next time, I’mma call you before I get sick if I ever get the feeling I might get sick. Alright?”

“I think I detect sarcasm in your voice.”

“Not at all.” He bit his lips.

“Mike…”

“Yes…”

“What about your ancestors? What about their DNA?”

Mike rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Really, Maddix? You know the drill. I’m a black American. My ethnic background spans from African to Native American and possibly-”

“OK, OK. Thanks. Get well, Mike. See you on Monday?”

“Definitely. Be good, try to have some fun for once, ‘kay? Bye.”

Lisa frowned and smiled.

“What’s with the DNA question?”

He tossed the phone back on the nightstand and knelt on the mattress, towering over her. His hands on her tiny waist. His lips already on her cheek, her ear.

“I have no idea… Maddix has his… rituals… whenever he feels uncomfortable about something, he always asks the same questions. They make him feel better… more in control. And I know I messed him all up by staying home, today…”

She moaned, softly, and his semi-hard penis went up to full attention, for the umpteenth time since he had first kissed her.

“I’m sorry…” She breathed out, scraping the small of his back, under the fabric of his shirt.

“Don’t be… I’m not in the least sorry…” He gently pushed her back until she lay down on the mattress once again. His lips reached down, touching the small portion of collarbone revealed by her V-neck t-shirt. He shivered, his fingertips tracing the outline of her breast.

“Sophie…” Lisa sounded breathless. “…dimming system on, please…”

The morning light left the apartment as the auto-dimming electric windows darkened, creating a more intimate atmosphere. It was not dark, just private. Bright enough to notice every detail in a less intrusive way. Lisa finished to unbutton Mike’s shirt and pulled it off his shoulders. He took it off. Then he seemed to hesitate for a moment, glancing down at his chest, wincing.

Lisa’s hand appeared in his field of vision, once again. Her palm rested on his skin, her fingers ran over his pectorals, his stomach, ever so slightly. He looked up at her and found her blue gaze.

He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. Her eyes turned soulful, full of tenderness.

“I’m sorry…” He mumbled, frowning.

“About what?” She looked genuinely clueless.

He tilted his head.

“About… this.”

Lisa paused for a moment, understanding dawning on her. Her hands kept caressing him.

“You are so beautiful, Mike… Unique. I’ve never met anyone like you.”

“I bet,” he replied a bit sarcastically, lowering his eyes. He had never had any particular problem with his skin condition – but he suddenly realized that it was because he had never felt so exposed and vulnerable in front of anyone. Anyone but her. In so many ways, Lisa was his first.

She sat up again. This time she didn’t merely touch his chest. She kissed it, her lips following the path of lines and spots that made him so uncommon and peculiar. The gentleness of her gesture hit him hard, and he felt the salty taste of tears tickling the back of his throat.

“It’s called vitiligo.” He had no idea why he felt the need to tell her why he looked the way he did.

“I know what it is.” She kept kissing him, tracing the map of his skin with her fingertips and her lips. She looked totally unaffected.

“It’s…” Mike swallowed. “…It can’t be cured, but it can be controlled. And I’m controlling it… somehow. It’s progressing very slowly and-”

Her hands framed his face and she sighed, her eyes sinking into his.

“I think you’re gorgeous. Just the way you are.” She looked like she wanted to add something, but she didn’t.

Again that salty taste in the back of his throat. Mike blinked, then kissed her again because honestly, what else was left to do? How else could he express the immense relief he felt? The beauty that came with complete acceptance, with comfort? He felt her smile against his lips.

“Did that girl… Nilah… see you like this?”

The tension broke and he chuckled.

“Of course not.”

“Good.”

This time he pulled back, narrowing his eyes.

“I am sorry about that too, Lisa. Feeney is a moron. I don’t know why he said what he said.”

She bit her lips, looking down. That small wrinkle he had already learned to adore made its appearance on her forehead.

“I wanted to slap you. When you followed me into that storage room. I was so fucking angry…”

The smile he bestowed on her was blinding. His eyebrows sprung up.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Angry with you, and with myself for being mad at you.” Lisa shook her head. “Because I know this is not normal.” She sank back into the pillows, but took his hand and held it in her own. “Nothing about what’s going on here is normal, Mike. We gotta be honest. We look like two lunatics. Maybe we are.”

He took a deep breath.

“Because you were jealous.”

“Because I was jealous. Yep. And I barely know you, so it doesn’t make any sense. I mean… I don’t even know why you’re here in my bed. I just know I can’t stay away from you… And I don’t think I have the energy even to try. I just can’t help it.”

He sat back on his calves.

“Well, good… because I told you already, Lisa. How I feel about you. And I have no idea what the hell is going on here, either. The only thing I know is how much I want you. Because I do… I want more of you. So much more.”

She stayed quiet, her jaw tensing a little. Mike tilted his head to a side.

“I kinda lost my bearings with you. But maybe it’s because of me, you know? I’ve never had any serious relationship… only random flings… so…” He shrugged, trying to find a way to express the immense confusion he felt, and failing miserably.

Her eyes flew up at him.

“Never?”

“No, never.” He shook his head, blushing. Should he dare say it?

“I know you were… you know, engaged to a guy. Back in San Francisco. I’ve heard rumors that he…” He scratched his ear, shrugging.

“You can say it out loud. The world’s not gonna collapse. He cheated on me.”

He just nodded.

“Yeah… that. When I heard about it, I swear I wanted to rearrange that dude’s face… for what he did to you. But right now…” Another long sigh. “…Right now I think I should probably thank him.”

The shadow of a smirk appeared on her face. Silence followed.

“How come you never had any serious relationships?”

“Never found the right girl, I guess. And that’s why I’m so confused about all of this…” He narrowed his eyes. “Is that how you felt about him, too?”

That was a good question that Lisa had cleverly avoided up until that very moment. When she, herself, had become more and more aware of the amount of space Mike had been taking in her soul. But she couldn’t lie to him.

“No.”

He looked surprised. Then sadness reverberated on his face. Lisa immediately sat up on the bed, reaching out for him.

“No – I mean, that I’ve never felt about him the way I feel about you. This is new for me, too. Do you really think I ever spent hours kissing Maxwell like I kissed you? I never even…”

This was embarrassing.

“You never kissed him… for real?” Mike seemed hesitant.

Lisa sighed.

“Not like this. Not like I kissed you, no. Not for hours… wanting to never stop. And now I’m wondering, you know? I thought I loved him so damn much, and that he was it for me. And then you come along and… everything I thought I knew gets blown to smithereens.”

The lopsided smirk he gave her almost melted her.

“I guess I’m charming that way.”

“You’re such a bighead. Maybe it’s just attraction. Chemistry. Familiarity. Or whatever…”

“Or maybe you love me and you don’t know it just yet.”

Lisa rolled her eyes and he giggled.

“Yeah. Keep dreaming. Look – you got more than enough for one night. In so many ways. OK? I think it’s best if you go back to your apartment, now. This is getting a bit out of control.”

Her uneven breath in his ear made him shiver. Just like the contact with her naked skin. His whole body burned, and for a moment he thought that he would melt from the inside. This was like nothing he had ever experienced in his life.

Lisa’s little indignant act had actually worked quite well, about an hour earlier. When she had walked Mike to the door, saying her goodbye. He had dragged his feet down the hall, toward the elevator. Then he had stopped mid-step and had spun on his heels, striding back to Lisa’s door. Unlike the first time, when he had been unable to act on his intention after she had found him asleep near the swimming pool, this time he had knocked.

She had swung the door open right away and, in all fairness, he didn’t know if he had grabbed her or if she had reached out first. The only thing he knew was that they were kissing again, wildly. Blindly, he had stepped back into Lisa’s apartment and slammed the door shut. They had ricocheted through the living room and straight to the bedroom, where the lights were still dimmed out. Lisa had almost ripped his shirt open. This time their kisses held a very different quality. Passion and ardor had replaced the lazy, shy tenderness of the night before.

Then he had felt her small hand gliding down his abs, toward his belt. He was pretty sure that a jolt of electricity would have stunned him less. He had backed off just enough to look into her eyes. They were so deep and stormy – and they took his breath away.

“Lisa… Lise… we don’t have to go all the way, you know…”

Her trembling fingers had started unbuckling his belt. Unbuttoning his pants. Holy shit!

“Yeah… I know we don’t…” She had swallowed. “…I mean, we can wait…”

She had pulled down his fly and her hand had slid into his boxers, touching his flesh, finding him so painfully hard that he had winced. She had gasped, looking stunned for a moment.

Then they had gotten lost in the intensity. In their intimacy and mystery and, at the same time, in the certainty that made them unable to stay away. Resistance was futile.

Mike had mustered all his willpower to speak.

“…Yes… and see how all of this progresses…” Her hold on him had tightened. She had started to stroke him, slowly. “…Shit…”

Their eyes had locked and Lisa had bitten her lip.

“Mike…”

“Yeah…”

“Am I… doing this right?”

OK. She was insecure and inexperienced in this old-style sex thing just like he was. And just as turned on. The idea of being in this together, of her being his first, of him being her first, thrilled him to the point that every shyness was forgotten. Plus, her touch was just…

“You’re doing perfect…”

She took his hand and brought it in between her legs, clutching it and pressing it against her boiling hot center, exhaling a long sigh. Holy shit. Just feeling her through the soft fabric of her panties almost made him lose it.

“I think I need you to touch me…” She swallowed, then let go of his hand, silently allowing him to do what he thought was right. “Please, touch me…”

They both had experienced virtual sex, sex toys and holosex, extensively. That was what sex had always been about in their world. They both thought it was just like making love the old-fashioned way because that was what the propaganda said. That was what the propaganda wanted people to believe. That no human being would miss real intercourse, real skin-on-skin contact, thanks to those new-generation, hyper-technological sexsuits, the many accessories and options available – from the chastest to the kinkiest stuff. You could have sex with whomever you wanted, wherever you were, no problem. Quick and easy. No risk involved, no disease possible.

But no intimacy, no emotional connection, no human contact either. The loveless kind of love imaginable served on a silver platter, after having been advertised and pimped ad nauseam. Quick and easy, yes, but also forgettable and disposable. Any lover could be replaced – you only needed the right sexsuit, the wildest scenario, the best virtual enhancement and – of course – the stablest internet connection you could afford. There: enjoy your s-experience. The loneliest, emptiest orgasm you could ever have.

Lisa and Mike found an answer to something they had been suspecting all along: the propaganda was wrong. They both realized it immediately, the moment they touched each other for real. Just being together this way now, man to woman, nothing in between their bodies – no latex, no wires, no virtual connection, chips, IP codes, nothing – disintegrated the last layer of doubt separating them. All that remained was that incredible need and desire to be together, to hear each other breathing, to feel each other the way it was supposed to be. The sensory explosion unstoppable: sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch. Feel.

Letting his instinct guide him, Mike slowly pulled down Lisa’s underwear and she took it off, without a word. His hand ran over her beautiful thigh, reaching up. Reaching her, where she wanted him. Lisa arched her back, parting her legs, offering herself to him entirely.

“God… baby… You’re so…” Words failed him. His kiss muffled her moans as his fingers explored her, finding her smooth, warm, soft, wet. Irresistible.

No – this had nothing to with sex the way he had always experienced it. This was different on so many levels. This was real. He pulled back and they stared at each other, their breathing uneven. “I want you so much…”

Lisa smiled.

In this world of loneliness and estrangement, they were an anomaly – and maybe that was where their consuming attraction resided. In a world where not only sex but also eroticism tout court was relegated to a machine and romanticism was almost non-existent, they were now choosing to be human. They were choosing to be sexual and carnal, to reach what they felt was a more profound communication. The one they craved. Because they both knew that killing desire meant killing their own lifeblood and spirit.

Mike’s free hand pushed Lisa’s t-shirt up, then removed it. He loved the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra. All the while he kept touching her, caressing her hot center. Her urgent moans and sighs edging him on further. His lungs burned. His heart was on fire. His whole body tingled.

His eyes roamed over her naked chest. Her breasts. Whatever rationality was left in his mind melted like snow in the sun. His head bent, his mouth captured her nipple, sucking on it, biting it gently, and Lisa cried out, gasped. One hand grabbing his hair, her other hand holding his dick in a tight grasp, stroking him with even more passion now. Goosebumps welcomed the touch of his tongue on her skin. Her hips pushed up and against Mike’s fingers, angling themselves just the right way, and he entered her. He had to close his eyes for a moment, struggling hard to keep control over himself as the hot, sinewy sensation engulfed him. When he opened his eyes again, he noticed how even Lisa looked dazed. Her movements, too, had stopped. They stared at each other. Then she pulled him down to her mouth and they kissed again, their tongues dueling.

Their bodies moved on autopilot, resuming their dance. Together, in perfect sync. Sighs and little whimpers filled the silence of the room. He knew instinctively how to move as if he had been touching her body forever. Yet everything felt new, unreal, surreal even. He felt her clenching and pulsing around his fingers and her free hand grasped the back of his neck, keeping his head close. Her eyes sank into his as her breath came out in gasps.

“Lisa…”

“Don’t…” Her forehead leaned against his and she swallowed. “…Don’t stop… don’t stop…”

He, too, was out of breath.

“Like this?”

“Oh yeah… Just like that. Oh, baby.”

The term of endearment was his undoing. Whatever ounce of control he was still keeping over himself snapped. He took her with renewed passion and within seconds she shattered in his arms. Her body froze, then he felt her trembling, jerking against him. Her hand on his dick holding him so tight, almost to the point of pain. But in the sweetest way imaginable. Her moans became louder and her hips pushed against him, spasming.

“Baby… Lise… I can’t… oh, shit…” He gritted his teeth and realized that he could no longer keep his pleasure at bay.

Her eyes widened. Sparkled. They looked triumphant. Her hand glided up and down his painfully erected penis.

“Yes. Yes, Mike. Please… Let me feel you…”

She didn’t have to beg, really. There was nothing that he could do to hold off. Not anymore. Wincing, shuddering, he buried his face in the crook of her neck and flew apart with her. Feeling safe and secure, sheltered.

The sweetest taste in his mouth, the most unimaginable mixture of pleasure and pain in his heart, he just sank against her, his hand leaving her warmth, stroking her gently now, caressing her legs as she kissed his temple, his ear, his hair. Her breathing labored, he heard her giggle and smiled, too, the tip of his tongue tracing the pulsing vein on her neck, her sweaty skin. He lifted his head and found her beautiful, flushed face. Those blue eyes were shimmering like the most transparent water.

“You still want me to go back to my apartment?”

Lisa rolled onto her side, snuggling against his chest. Sated. Happy.

“No… I wanna fall asleep with you.”

She knew that she had fallen asleep before he had. As she drifted off, she had felt his caresses. He was stroking her hair, his slow, even breath touching the top of her head. Her heart, barely held together since she had first met him, had exploded in her chest. Pulverized, and then reassembled in a new way. In a way that she had never thought possible.

Lisa had sometimes spent the night at Maxwell’s, while they were together. But they had always slept in separate rooms. Not once she had felt the need to be this physically close to him, to hold him, inhale the scent of his skin, let alone have him naked against her.

Having him inside of her…

She faintly remembered the warm sensation spreading in her belly, at the mere idea of being taken that way by Mike instead, as she fell asleep in his arms. The realization had been disconcerting. She wanted him. What they had done, which wasn’t much, just heavy petting, had stirred something into her and now she craved for more. And Lisa knew that he triggered her not only on a physical level. She wanted all he had to give – body and soul. Feeling his climax, having him writhe against her, hearing him sigh and moan in her ear had been so… incredible. It had felt so hot. So right. At that very moment, she had found her place in the world. Near him.

Those had been her last, confused thoughts before she slipped into a heavy sleep, exhausted. When she had opened her eyes again it was late afternoon. She had turned her head, watching Mike sleep peacefully by her side. Lying on his back, one hand under the pillow, the other resting on his naked chest, he was the most handsome man she had ever seen in her life. His beautiful face looked relaxed, completely at peace. She had fought the urge just to lean over and kiss him, having the weird and inexplicable feeling that his sleep was very light and, without a word and careful not to wake him up, she had left the bedroom to take a long shower.

She now was in her comfort room, only a light robe on, sipping a very expensive, real apple juice. She stared at the city outside, noticing how the last time she had glanced out the sky was pink and bright, while now the darkness was seeping in and, with it, the clouds. It was starting to rain just like every evening. For the first time, she found it romantic. Of course, the weather in New York was crappy as usual, but her emotional environment had changed. She didn’t feel alone any longer.

Lisa heard Mike even before she saw his reflection on the huge French door facing the balcony. She smiled, holding her glass close to her lips. God, how could such beauty be concentrated in one single man?

Of course, Mike had woken up and showered. And now he was naked except for a bath towel wrapped around his waist. His wet curls were down on his shoulders and he was smiling. His eyes became the focus of Lisa’s attention. Mike was stunning from head to toe, but those dark irises held a special place in her heart. The reason, she didn’t know.

He came up behind her and placed his hands on her waist, kissing her neck.

“Hi…”

He kept smiling against her skin. She didn’t reply but turned her head enough to kiss his lips, very gently. Then handed him her glass and he drank.

“Sleep OK?”

“I slept like a baby.” He stared at her from behind the rim of the glass, his eyes laughing.

Lisa smiled.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I was out like a light. What about you? You should have woken me up…”

Lisa turned into his arms, took the empty glass from his hand and placed it on the desk nearby.

“I am good. When I woke up and I saw you asleep, well… I didn’t have the heart to intrude. You looked like you were dreaming.”

He blinked, his gaze lost in thought for a second. Then glanced around.

“What is this place? It’s amazing…”

Lisa grinned. Yes, it was. And it was not random that she had been waiting for him right there, in that very room. First, she knew that at one point he would be looking for her. Second, she was sure that he would know where to find her.

“It’s my comfort room. That’s how I call it. Remember during our first counseling session, when you told me about your passion for everything related to the old world?”

Mike nodded.

“Well… of course I couldn’t tell you back then, but I love it too. And that’s why this room exists.” A bit reluctantly, she disentangled herself from his embrace and walked to the bookcase, full of real paper books. Old and worn out but still in decent conditions. She had inherited that passion from her dad, and through the years she had spent a good amount of money in the black markets in San Francisco, looking for more items. Lamps, drawings, objects. Her fingers skimmed over the nearby cabinet, where she had carefully placed all her old records. She turned back to Mike. “Nobody knows about this. I had a room that looked just the same back in San Francisco, but I never showed it to anyone.”

“Not even to your fiance?”

She raised an eyebrow, realizing how absurd the reality of it all was. How Mike’s mere presence in her life was forcing her to put everything else in perspective.

“No…”

He looked intrigued.

“Then… why me?”

She shook her head, her eyes lowering.

“Once again, I’m afraid I don’t have an answer to that.”

Mike let out a deep sigh. He seemed to weigh his words carefully.

“Do you regret what happened?” He paused, frowning. “Between us. You know… earlier.”

“Do you?”

His eyes flew up at her. Surprised for a moment. Then they looked calm again.

“So many things happened. I don’t regret any of them.” He bit the inside of his lip. “And you know why? Because I felt it. I know what’s in this room is not the only thing we have in common. I know that, if we did what we did, it’s because we know that some things are supposed to be meaningful… and not empty. Dull.”

“Is that how you feel your encounters were, so far?”

He blinked.

“Yeah. They never felt genuine. Not like this. So… If you ask me if I regret having loved you the way I did… Not at all. If anything… well…”

“What?”

She pretended not to notice his choice of words – “having loved you”. More than anything, she tried to ignore how the air around them started to sizzle. Charged with electricity. Once again.

“…I really, really didn’t wanna stop there.” He was still standing by the desk, his body looking like an ancient Greek statue except for his chest heaving with each breath.

Lisa hesitated just for a second.

“…And I don’t think I would have stopped you.” She noticed how his hand slowly grabbed the edge of the desk. As if he needed to steady himself. His face looked flushed and she knew that her words had caught him off guard. She stepped closer to him. “And… I wondered, you know? What it would have felt like… if you hadn’t stopped, that is…”

Surprising even herself, she realized that she was not in the least embarrassed at her own words. As a matter of fact, she was not even trying to taunt him or tease him. That was her only way to express and navigate the intricate knot of feelings, sensations, emotions, desires that she felt: complete and utter honesty. In the short span of a couple of weeks, she had experienced with this man emotions that usually took way more time to find their dimension. Attraction, jealousy, longing, lust, need, tenderness… And all for this stranger. Lisa felt as if a divine, invisible hand was guiding them both, pulling the strings of their fates and existences. She felt powerful and small at the same time – caught in a storm and somehow able to keep the boat from sinking underwater.

Almost in a trance, she walked over to him, loving how the proximity with his body was enough to make her own body respond. All her senses alert, his unique scent wrapping itself all around her. Before she could reach up to him, he stepped in closer and bent his head, capturing her lips in a slow, deep kiss.

“It’s all I can think about…” Mike whispered in her ear, as he kissed the side of her face, her neck. He pulled her into him and, instinctively, she arched back, her breasts pressing into his chest.

“What…”

“What it’d be like… if I didn’t stop. If I did to you everything I wanna do to you…”

Lisa whimpered, her eyes fluttering closed. Liquid heat spread from her belly to her center. She felt desire, but also another strange emotion – wistfulness. Grief almost. Blindly, she searched his mouth and they kissed, again and again. When they broke apart she stepped back, leaning against the backside of the couch. A plush, comfy piece of vintage furniture that she usually used to read, relax, listen to music. But not right now.

Her arms came up and around his neck and he closed his big, strong hands around her small waist, lifting her off the floor, making her sit on the backrest of the couch. Lisa’s body moved instinctively – she parted her legs and he stepped right in between them as if he had belonged there forever. She could already feel his hard ridge pressing against her stomach through the fabric. Pure madness. And yet, just like the first time, nothing had ever felt so right.

Mike untied her robe and pushed it off her shoulders, his eyes roaming all over her naked body. He licked his lips and she felt as if his tongue had lapped at her skin. Her fingernails scraped the back of his neck and her other hand traced his stomach, then reached down, undoing the towel that was still wrapped around his waist.

“Take this off… I need to see you… I wanna feel you.”

God, she should be ashamed of herself. Getting it on like this, not a care in the world. And yet she knew that he would never think of her as a slut.

The towel fell to the floor and Mike stepped closer once again, taking off her robe, discarding it quickly, wanting her naked. He looked up at her – his eyes burning, his cheeks flushed. Lisa’s hand reached down, finding his pure steel beneath the most velvety surface. She had touched him earlier, but in the heat of passion and intensity of the moment she hadn’t been able to fully appreciate what was going on. Now it was different. Everything was deliberate. They wanted this. They were going to do it. And there was no turning back.

Her gaze fell and she caught her breath when she watched his body, now fully naked, standing right in front of her. The strong, nervous muscles. The beautiful arms and shoulders. The flat stomach, the narrow hips. And that huge, perfect cock now standing high and hard, as if it was calling her. Lisa swallowed, her mouth watering. This was all so human. She touched him and Mike closed his eyes, letting out a deep breath. His hand covered hers, guiding her movements.

“I love feeling your hands on me… Your lips… your tongue… all of you.”

She pulled him close once again, needing his mouth on hers. As his kisses descended, tracing a scorching path on her collarbone, in between her breasts, she started to feel dizzy. His hand touching her, his fingers sliding into her as his teeth gently bit her nipples made her fear for her sanity, and when Mike sank to his knees she could only hold onto his shoulders, steadying herself against the pleasure engulfing her wave after wave.

It was a blur. The passion all-consuming. Their instinct overtaking any lessons in formality of what love was supposed to be. Lisa was not surprised when he buried his face in between her legs – but surely she was not prepared to face the barrage of pleasure accompanying the strokes of his tongue, his open kisses on her pulsing heat, his tongue exploring her, the movement of his fingers inside of her, his moans of delight as he touched places she had never known existed.

“Oh, fuck… shit!” She hissed, her hand in his hair, pulling him closer. He was consuming her. She felt like a candle burning and burning, with not a chance in the world to escape the flame.

The orgasm took her completely by surprise and, in the haze of colors and symphony assaulting her senses, he was there for her, holding her, sheltering her and sweeping her away, all at once. Her savior, her executioner. She moaned and cried out and panted and he let her take everything he had to give before kissing up her body, his breath ragged, his skin covered by a thin layer of sweat.

When Mike found her eyes again, they were dark and smoky and glazed over. Without a word, he picked her up and her beautiful legs immediately closed around his waist. He walked around the couch and knelt down on it, all the while kissing her like a madman, loving the feeling of her fingers running through his hair, the sweetness and texture of her lips. He laid her down on the soft cushions and she found him again, holding it. She pressed her other hand on his stomach.

“Stay… stay there… wait…” Panting, she sat up. Mike shuddered in anticipation.

At first, Lisa just wrapped her arms around his torso, resting her face on his chest, taking a moment to catch her breath and listen to his heartbeat. He touched her chin and she tilted her head up. Her eyes almost threw him off-kilter and he bent down to kiss her, ever so gently. Then she pushed him back again, and he knew what was going to happen. He wanted to say something, but couldn’t. And when her mouth found him, he thought he would pass out.

“Gosh… Lise… I…”

He swallowed and raked his fingers through her hair, blinking at the sight of her taking him that way, taking as much of him as she could. Of course, he knew what a blow-job was – but the difference was massive now from any previous encounter. Not only they were skin on skin, no precautions or sheaths in the middle, but he had also never experienced such passion, both on his partner’s side and his. She was kissing and engulfing him as if she really meant it, as if the action in itself pleasured her too. As if she… loved him? Well, he had almost lost it while going down on her, so, maybe it wasn’t too far-fetched… to think that… maybe…

Mike shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment.

“Baby… Baby girl…” He caressed her cheek, hesitating, as she kept taking him slowly. Then, without thinking, “…Princess.”

He had no idea why he had called her that, but her reaction startled him as much as the word tumbling out of his mouth. Lisa’s lips slowly let go of him and she blinked several times, narrowing her eyes as if a sudden thought had intruded her mind. Then looked up at him. He hesitated again.

“I… want you.” A sigh. “I wanna make love to you, girl.”

Her gaze softening, she gave him the most beautiful smile, whatever thought was ailing her disappearing. At least for the time being.

“I thought we were getting there…”

Her hand closed on him and started to stroke him again. OK – he needed to be clear-minded just for one more moment.

“God, yes. That’s the point. You want me to… you know…” Talking was becoming a chore. “…Use something… or…”

It was clear, from the look on her face, that she had not been thinking about that at all.

“Oh… I’m clean…”

“Yeah, I am too, but-”

“And I’m not gonna get pregnant…” Her hold on him loosened. Mike sank back on his heels, his hand reaching up, cupping her cheek. Lisa lowered her eyes. “I can’t get pregnant until I’m thirty… and I’m twenty-seven… so…”

He felt he had to tread carefully.

“Is that how the law works, back in San Francisco?”

“Yes… All citizens except for those living on Level 5 cannot procreate until they’re thirty and the government is sure about their social utility. There’s a strong birth control program there… a single injection when you’re ten, and then you’re good for the following twenty-five years… Barren…” She shrugged, but Mike saw the pang of pain on her gorgeous features. Someone deciding for her when she would have kids and when she wouldn’t. “…And my family comes from Level 4, you know… so…”

He scooted closer to her, searching her eyes. Finding them. He gave her a sad smile.

“Well… I think I couldn’t get you pregnant anyway, you know? Births are so rare on levels 0, 1 and 2 that we all suspect we’ve been fed something without us knowing… preventing us from procreating.”

He detected a sheen of tears in her sparkling blue eyes and the mere idea of seeing her cry sliced him open. Wanting so much to find the right words to comfort her, and feeling as if his vocal cords were suddenly useless, the only thing he could do was kiss her again. And she held onto him as if he was her raft in the ocean. At first tentative, their kisses heated up and before they knew what was happening, they were lying on the couch, their limbs entangled, whispers and moans filling the silence of the room, only interrupted by the furious drumming of the rain outside.

Their eyes stayed connected. When Mike grabbed Lisa’s leg, wrapping it around his waist, she pushed her hips up and toward him just enough for her center to slide against him. The sensation was so powerful that he had to close his eyes.

“Have you ever done this…?” Her voice was barely a whisper and she held his head in her small hands, forcing him to hold her gaze.

Mike swallowed hard, rocking his pelvis against her, coating himself with her wetness, the friction delicious. “No… Never like this… Have you?”

When she just shook her head, he let out a breath that he didn’t know he had been holding. Why was the idea of her giving it to someone else this way so intolerable for him? Well – no need to investigate further. He was her first. His heart jumped with joy and pride and he smiled. From the look on her face and her lopsided grin, he hoped his thoughts weren’t so transparent.

“Stop gloating…”

OK, well. Maybe he was as clear as water, to Lisa. It didn’t matter. In a way, it was even… relieving? Not having to front. To pretend.

She reached down and in between their bodies, taking him into her hand again. Guiding him toward her center. She bit her lip and took a deep breath.

“Put it in… please…” Lifting her head, she kissed him. “Gosh, I want you so much…”

His head buzzing, his nerves on fire, Mike simply surged into her slowly, and it was like dipping metal into a furnace. A wet, tight, sinewy furnace.

“Oh, fuck…” His head dropped, his face hid in the crook of her neck. He felt her fingers closing into a fist, in his hair. Her breath in his ear.

“Mike… God. It’s too much… It’s so good…”

He pulled back just slightly, then surged forward once again and Lisa cried out. Her teeth bit down on his shoulder.

“You OK?” He panted. Meanwhile, her strong inner muscles clenched and throbbed around him – the sensation, breathtaking. Unlike anything else in the world.

“Oh damn. Yes. Oh God. Please… please, move. Take me…” Her lips touched his ear, whispering. “…Fuck me.”

It felt like being immersed in the water while being tied to an electric wire. His body reacted to her words as if they were a command, and he started to move. Taking her just like she had asked. Fucking her. Making love to her. Because what Mike felt was much more than sexual attraction. And Lisa knew it, because she felt the same.

Their bodies rocked together, in perfect sync, and it was the most soul-shattering experience they had ever lived. They had no idea that such a level of pleasure existed. Their hearts were racing together frantically, as they kept their eyes locked, kissing, breathing each other. Mike rotated his hips and then pounded into her harder and Lisa threw her head back, moaning loudly now, her nails scraping his sweaty back, her teeth grazing his chin and neck. She came, once again and the pure and undiluted happiness he experienced as his body guided her through the storm was annihilating. He somehow managed to hold off, knowing well that he wasn’t going to last much longer. It was simply impossible. She was too tight, too hot, she felt too amazing, her inner muscles clenching, clamping down on him, holding him captive. Oh, he wanted to be her prisoner until the end of time.

He kept a fairly steady rhythm as long as he could, alternating straight jabs with dragging motions that had the effect of making Lisa whimper and sob. His vision blurred and he knew that it was too late to exert further control over his body. He was panting, strands of sweaty hair partially obstructing his vision.

He tossed his head.

“Are you there, girl… ‘cause… God…”

Lisa kissed him passionately, her hand grasping his hair on the back of his head, her hips rocking against him, bringing him closer and closer to insanity.

“Yeah… You’re making me come again… Stay with me… baby, wait for me… I wanna come with you this time…”

He didn’t think more arousing words existed. With the last ounce of self-control, he brought her arms over her head and held them there, interlacing his fingers with hers. He moved in strong, controlled, deep strokes, and she arched into him.

This. This was where he belonged.

He short-circuited and the moment he started to convulse against her body she shuddered and jerked as well, crying out. He yelped and sobbed and was not totally surprised when he noticed the set of sparkling tears leaving her eyes. He kissed them away, still holding her upper body still, while he released into her again and again. The sweetest feeling he had ever felt mixed with the salty taste of her emotional response.

Both still shaken by the aftershocks of their violent, simultaneous orgasm, they stayed connected. The last thing Mike wanted was to leave her warmth. Finally, he let go of her hands and framed her face, kissing her lovingly. Her forehead, her closed eyelids, her cheeks, her nose. Her lips. Still out of breath, Lisa smiled into the kiss and held him close. Even her legs tightened their grip around his waist, effectively holding him prisoner. Not that he minded. He loved being buried deep inside her body.

“Stay…”

Her voice sounded hoarse.

He raised up on his elbows and bent his head, gently kissing and licking her breasts, smiling when she let out a soft moan.

“Wasn’t even thinking about leaving…”

“Perfect…”

He rolled over to the side, taking her with him. Lisa immediately snuggled against his chest, her eyes closing. She let out a long sigh. For a long time, he just stared at the rain hitting the city, making it look black and smooth as if it was made of latex. He noticed Lisa’s breath had deepened and that she was trembling a little. Glancing around, he grabbed a comforter from the armrest and draped it all over her. He saw her smiling and kissed the top of her head, making himself comfortable once again.

“Lise…” No answer. “Do you believe in love at first sight?”

She sighed and snuggled closer to his chest. Oh, well. Maybe that question was a bit inappropriate. Or maybe not.

“I believe love has no beginning and no end…” Her voice sounded thick with sleep. “…If you feel it, maybe it means that it was there all along…”

Mike watched her intently, not knowing what to say. Her body felt heavier, her lips were slightly parted. Her breathing deepened once again. She was asleep.

“I’m falling in love with you, girl.”

He kissed her forehead, then closed his eyes. When he heard her voice, he was not sure if it was a dream or not.

“I think I can start believing in love at first sight… with you…”

New York City – Level 5

The sexsuit felt heavy and sticky and needed to be removed as soon as possible. The body underneath was still tingling. A shower was necessary to get rid of all that sweat, of all that… carnality. Unexpected. Abhorrent. Magnificent.

Two gloved hands removed the ultrathin helmet that had allowed the most intense, realistic, upsetting, deliciously erotic experience.

The cold, electronic voice of Jewel++, the most evolved artificial intelligence ever conceived, intruded the observer’s thoughts.

“Stage 2 of Project Orpheus has begun, boss.”

A deep breath.

“Yes. Please, keep them both monitored. In fact, get a detailed report ready: we need to understand why we are so ahead of schedule. Our preliminary analysis might have been incorrect. Produce all the data, I want to review them.”

“Positive, boss.”

Soundtrack