Contingent – Chapter 22 | Lullaby

Chapter 22 | Lullaby

lull (v.)

early 14c., lullen “to calm or hush to sleep,” probably imitative of lu-lu sound used to lull a child to sleep (compare Swedish lulla “to hum a lullaby,” German lullen “to rock,” Sanskrit lolati “moves to and fro,” Middle Dutch lollen “to mutter”). Figurative use from 1570s; specifically “to quiet (suspicion) so as to delude into a sense of security” is from c. 1600. Related: Lulled; lulling.

lull (n.)

1650s as the name of a soothing drink, from lull (v.). Meaning “temporary period of quiet or rest amid turmoil or activity” is from 1815.

Clearwater Beach, Florida – May 1997

The days had started to become longer, warmer, signaling that summer was finally about to begin. Which was good. Despite the weather and the temperature being usually mild in Los Angeles, Lisa loved the sun and loved it hot. She loved sunbathing, swimming, or just chilling on the beach.

And although right now she wasn’t even remotely in the mood for chilling the way she would have liked, at least she was sitting on the damn sand. As she watched the long white strip, extending for over two miles along the Gulf, she remembered the last time she had really enjoyed the beach. It had been almost one year earlier, when she and Michael had spent some days in Tunisia, in complete privacy, rekindling that flame that had never really stopped burning anyway.

She still recalled their little boat trip to Monastir. The golden sandy shores, the sparkling waves, the salty scent coming from the sea. The late afternoon lights. Michael had hugged her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder, and they had just stood there, quietly. Like they used to do so long ago. It had been their new beginning.

At this point, Lisa had stopped considering Michael’s never-celebrated wedding to Debbie one of those chasms that had almost swallowed their newfound relationship. In retrospect, Lisa now saw the whole thing as an unpleasant, albeit momentary, gridlock. She refused to give Debbie more importance than that.

There were way more crucial things going on, now. As Michael had quite correctly predicted, Miss Rowe had basically vanished into thin air, at least as far as he and Lisa were concerned. Of course, every now and then, gossipy and distasteful “news” full of innuendos still appeared on the tabloids, but Lynsey Fuoco’s constant and punctual sudden reversals managed to always attract more attention from the audience. So, all in all, that side was covered.

And now, another problem had finally been dealt with. The church.

Lisa was out. She had been sweating bullets during her meeting with the upper echelons, and now needed a minute or two to unwind. That was why she had driven to the beach and, for a while, she had just stayed in the car, watching the sun disappear at the horizon and waiting for the passers-by to thin out a bit. Eventually, she had walked down the beach, she had removed her shoes and now sat on the sand, grateful for the coolish air coming from the open sea. It reminded her that everything in her body functioned just fine, after a couple of hours spent feeling numb in her limbs.

“I wish we could tell you that we are surprised by your decision. But the truth is, we are not. We were kind of expecting it. Mister Jackson was never a good influence for you. Too bad. We had such high expectations.”

Yeah… as if Michael could ever be interested in their dogma. No way. Lisa kept her body language completely collected.

“Michael has nothing to do with this. He doesn’t even know that I’m here. This is my choice.”

She had tried to sound reasonable. She had kept her demeanor low, calm, controlled, and had shared only a minimal amount of information. All the while, fighting the internal voice telling her to just leave. Leave, Lisa! Run! And damn the consequences.

Only, she could not forget about those. For such a long time, she had used the possible consequences of her defection as some sort of excuse for stalling, delaying her decision. And yet she knew how the church operated, and she knew they counted on her to worry about the danger of leaving. They knew she would stay put and that she knew no other life but the one they had taught her. Because she had been placed there when she was nothing but a kid, really.

What the bigwigs had not taken into consideration, was the emotional avalanche generated by the birth of Prince and Paris and by Michael returning into her life. The change in priorities. The difference in perspectives. Something in Lisa’s mind had shifted. In a flick of the wrist, a light had turned on and had lit up the darkness. She wanted out.

She wasn’t even concerned about the disconnection policy. She knew Danny would never take the kids away from her. And if her mother didn’t like or approve of her decision… well, she could do as she pleased. Priscilla could be a part of her life – and that of her grandchildren – or not. Changes had to be made either way.

At this point, Lisa just couldn’t stay any longer. She had slowly but surely realized how indoctrinated she had been, and how deeply that brainwashing had worked on her – during her marriage to Michael, and during their divorce proceedings, as well. She was not having it anymore. And sure as hell she didn’t want Prince, or Paris, to be shackled to those dogmas.

And yet she had not told the bigheads to just fuck off. She couldn’t do that. They had stuff they could use to avenge what they perceived as an offense. They knew things about her… and about Michael. Personal, intimate information about their relationship she had revealed during her counseling sessions, which were supposed to be private, but that were not – as she had found out during the meeting. Nothing terrible, of course, but maybe a little too confidential for Michael’s taste. So she had decided to lay low, although the news of her departure had come out – at least internally – and many people in the church had already started to avoid her like the plague.

Well, fuck them too. She had been disappointed to discover how quickly people who had always managed to have a kind word for her, now suddenly changed direction when they saw her. She had been sad. She had been shocked. But now, as she inhaled the fresh breeze coming from the sea, what she started to feel was an overwhelming sense of relief. And she was no longer scared.

“I will keep quiet. I won’t say anything bad about you, as long as you don’t cause any trouble to the people I love or me. You got plenty of money from me, and you still get hundreds of thousands of dollars on a regular basis, from my mother. Which is OK, it’s her choice. I respect that. But I will no longer let you use my relationship with her, or some other members of my family, to control me.”

“Lisa Marie. You cannot blame us for what went wrong in your life. We were always there to help. And we’re still here for you… You know that. ”

Sure they were. Lisa just stared at the man blankly.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s a done deal.”

And she really hoped it was. Over, that was. Once out of their headquarters, she had almost called Michael. But then she had just flipped her cell phone closed. He was under so much stress already, and although what she had to say was more than good news, she didn’t want him to get riled up. Primarily because he was at the other corner of the world, getting ready to kick off the European leg of his tour in Bremen.

God, she missed him. Just a few more days, and then she would see him again. And hopefully, she would be able to surprise him in the best possible way.

Lisa leaned back on her elbows, closing her eyes. She knew the sand would get in her panties, but she didn’t care.

She was finally starting to relax when her cell phone rang. She smiled and reached into the back pocket of her jeans, checking the ID and hoping it was Michael. Nope. It was Janet, the only Jackson who knew what had just happened. Lisa had revealed to her friend that she was going to have a meeting with the Church management, and had found a useful ally in Janet. Of course, she was nothing but supportive of Lisa’s decision to leave what she considered a sect.

“Jan… hey.”

“Hey! Are you out? In one piece?”

Leaning up on her elbows, Lisa stared at the sea. “Yeah, I am. Hopefully, for good.”

“How did it go? Did they threaten you? Tried to blackmail you?”

“Nope. I mean, they didn’t like it for sure, but they didn’t make too much of a fuss either. I guess my mother found a way to mitigate their… ah… disappointment.” She didn’t need to elaborate. There was only one divinity her former cult adored. The green one.

“What, I thought she was totally against your decision.”

“She doesn’t like me that much right now. But she wants to keep seeing Paris… and she’s kind of warming up to Prince, too.”

She heard Janet’s soft laugh and she, too, smiled.

“That’s so not surprising. How can you not love that little tootsie pants? I mean, he’s an angel. Always happy, always peaceful, the perfect child.”

It was the truth. Prince had the classic cuteness overload of a three-months-old, but also the peaceful, contemplative attitude of an old Zen master. His sister, on the other hand, was feisty. And it was funny how those two babies seemed tiny replicas of, respectively, Michael and Lisa. Hopefully, they would inherit something from their environment as well. Kids were a product of their surroundings, and as far as Lisa was concerned, at this point Prince was hers and Michael’s as much as Paris was. It was all about heart. It was all about love.

In this specific case, Riley and Ben had been a great help in understanding that social schemes could be put aside, when it came to family. They had accepted both babies as they were part of the same unit, and they referred to them as their little siblings. To Lisa’s older kids, it had been natural and the process had been so positively contagious.

Plus, currently both Prince and Paris were still at Hidden Hills, with Lisa. She and Michael had decided that the newborns didn’t need to fly all over the world at this point, and that they were all going to meet in Europe after the first handful of shows. It was a win-win situation: Michael would focus on his art in complete serenity, knowing well that the mother of his children was taking care of them. And Lisa could do what she loved to do – which was being a mom – while her man did his thing. This was all so smooth. And it just felt so right.

As she kept chatting with Janet, Lisa’s mind wandered back to the past two months – which had been challenging and thrilling at the same time. Of course, despite all his good intentions, Michael had been progressively sucked back into the myriad of tasks and commitments that his job required. Lisa had not been surprised – nor enraged or disappointed. It was just the way it was, and maybe the perfect recipe for success in their relationship was all about accepting, serenely, that some things would never change. Besides, that didn’t mean they could not get better in due time. Shades of grey… no longer extremes, no longer my way or the highway. That approach had ultimately taken them nowhere.

The days that had preceded Michael’s departure, which had happened about a month earlier, had been hectic. He had rarely been able to stay home as much as he would have desired, and his sad puppy dog eyes, when he finally returned to Hidden Hills at the most improbable hours, broke Lisa’s heart. In addition, he had been trying to make everything fit into his very tight schedule: his rehearsals – over an hour away from home -, his business meetings, the inevitable trips abroad which resulted in him jumping on and off planes like ordinary people would do with their car. He was able to do everything, somehow, but he was worn out and Lisa was worried.

“Mike?”

She stared at him, splayed on the bed in a Christ-like position. Which was quite fitting.

He didn’t answer. He looked fried. He was stubbly and had lost a bit of weight. He could never sleep more than a few hours in a row. Of course, he was an insomniac, but when Lisa was there, sleep would usually come more easily for him… if only he were given a chance to rest.

He was probably out like a light already, after rehearsing like a madman all day and finally coming back home to spend some time with the babies. Lisa sighed and turned to leave the room, hoping he could at least catnap for a little while.

His sluggish, drowsy voice reached her when she was already on the threshold.

“You need me, baby? Gotta change a diaper or something?” He paused, and she heard him snore for a couple of seconds. And then… “Or you wanna cuddle?”

He was so fucking cute it wasn’t even funny. She admired and loved how committed he was in taking care of her and the children. All four of them. All the while trying to be the King of Pop once he stepped out of their property and into a world which basically, only knew him for that.

Lisa walked over to him and sat on the bed. She rested her hand on his chest and he half-opened his eyes. They were reddened and sleepy. She smiled.

“No, it’s all good, baby. I was just checking on you. It’s OK. Just rest.”

He covered her hand with his own and pulled her closer with a grunt. Laughing softly, Lisa lay down by his side, her head on his chest, stroking his stomach, his shoulder. He loved cuddling, it helped him fall asleep. And yet, from his breathing, she knew he was awake. She kissed his chest.

“How baked are you right now, on a scale from one to ten?”

“Mh.” He searched her mouth and gave her a gentle peck on the lips, then his head fell back into the pillow. “Can barely move. Can talk. I’d say… nine.”

“That’s quite a high level of bakedness. Rest up.”

A couple of deep breaths, and then he started to giggle. Lisa could not help but smile. Raising her head, she met his shiny, half-closed eyes.

“What are you laughing at?”

“I’m so fucking tired everything is funny.”

“God, Michael…” Chuckling, albeit a bit bitterly, she leaned over and they kissed for a little while. Soft, chaste, gentle kisses. Once again, despite their good intentions, they hadn’t been doing much else, lately. When she pulled back, she stared at him for a moment, sighing. “You know what? I think you should go and do your thing.”

He struggled to keep his eyes open. “What do you mean? I have been doing my thing.”

“I mean, not from here. Baby… I know you’re doing your best, and I love you for that. I adore you, with all my heart. But this is too much… even for a superhero like you.”

Michael scrunched his eyebrows.

“Lise… what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that you look like you’re trapped in a fucking pinball machine. Trying to be everywhere at the same time… doing everything, for everyone, every time. Bouncing here and there. You can’t keep doing that, honey.” She looked at him lovingly, expecting him to protest. He did indeed open his mouth slightly, then closed it again. He knew she was right. “It’s not healthy… and I need you to be healthy.”

“But I wanna be home with you and the kids…”

“And you will. We’re not going anywhere.”

She reached out and gently stroked his unshaven cheek, and his hand came to rest over hers almost immediately. His warm skin infusing her with all the certainties they needed. It all would be alright.

“Mh… What do you suggest?”

“Well… To just go and take care of everything involving the tour. The way you know how.”

“In Europe?”

Lisa smiled. “As far as I can remember, that’s where you’re due to perform, so yeah…”

“What about our children?”

“I will take care of them and then we’ll all fly over as soon as we can. To be with you. What you think? You don’t have to take care of everything, all the time, Michael. We’re a team…”

He grinned, softly, his eyes dark and soulful. She was almost surprised the see his defenses drop. He really was considering the idea. Not necessarily the idea of leaving, but of being a team. And acting like a well-coordinated, solid unit.

“Mh…” He turned his face and kissed her palm. His eyes closed again. “I’ll think about it…”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

Eventually, he had left. Seeing him jump on that plane and knowing that she was not going to see him again for a month, at the very least, had been painful. But Lisa also knew it was the right thing for him to do. She was in awe at how committed he seemed to be in making his family life work, in a way she had never seen before. But it was too much. Even for him. He was almost divine, but still a human being after all.

He needed to stay focused and multitasking could only go so far. He had been unusually wired, even for his own standards, and more tired than she ever remembered having seen him during a tour. His back bothered him, and he could not sleep well. Lisa wished she could just split in two and be home and in Europe with him at the same time. But she wasn’t superhuman either. At the end of the day, behind all the sparkles and the spotlights, Lisa and Michael just wanted to be a normal family.

As she waved goodbye one last time, she saw him blow her a kiss and smile. Her eyes watered. She reciprocated the gesture, then placed her hand over her chest, signaling him that her heart was his. He did the same, then disappeared into the airplane. She could not wait to see him again.

The following weeks were an exercise in style and self-control, for Lisa. As soon as Michael was out of the picture, Priscilla had started to appear at Hidden Hills more often than usual – to see the babies. Whenever she tried to talk about Michael and Lisa’s intentions in the long run, Lisa would just shut her up patiently. It was a weird situation, and Lisa found herself observing her mother from quite an unusual point of view.

Priscilla could be relentless when she wanted to be and when she thought she needed to go after something. And she was probably testing the waters, trying to see how far her influence over her daughter could still go. Although she no longer dared to be openly hostile when it came to Michael, and she loved Paris and Prince, she was fishing. It was apparent that she hoped Lisa and Michael were only going to co-parent the kids – or maybe that they would fail again. Well, fat chance.

To Lisa, it all felt like waking up from a long, bad nightmare. It was like she could see everything better now. She could see the extent of the manipulation she had allowed several people to operate on her, in the past. Meddling, sticking their fingers into a cake that was never theirs to eat. Her mother. Paige, her personal assistant. Some of her “people.” And the church. The desire to leave it all behind had started right after Paris’ birth, and had become stronger and stronger. And although Lisa hoped she could still have a civil relationship with Priscilla, she was also ready to cut all ties if necessary.

She had always accused Michael of having allowed so many people in their relationship, but she had done the same. And he had been an example of coherence, this time around: he had told her that things would change, and then he had made a clean sweep. Just as naturally, Lisa started to do the same. Getting rid of people, behaviors, routines that she felt were potentially dangerous for her or her newfound family. One by one, in the smoothest way she could. No temper tantrums, no fits. Just a clear pathway to follow.

It was fucking healthy. It just felt too damn right.

And another new thing she had been experiencing, was making the best of the time she had to spend away from Michael. She had been exercising, getting back into shape. Sunbathing, eating healthy food, swimming, jogging every morning. It all helped her keep those old demons of abandonment, loneliness, sadness at bay. Endorphins were such a great thing. Regular physical activity – which also included taking care of four kids first-hand – had also improved her self-esteem, which had been a bit low lately. She wanted to sweep Michael off his feet the moment he saw her again – and that was why she had tried very hard not to be photographed by paparazzi. She wanted to surprise and seduce the man she loved.

Unfortunately, a couple of pictures taken during a little walk with the babies and a small security detail had leaked and, of course, Michael’s hawk-eye hadn’t failed to intercept them. He had mentioned the photographs one night, during one of their long phone calls.

“Oh, by the way… You looked pretty good the other day. You know I love it when you wear my jeans…”

She laughed, huskily.

“Do you ever stop being such a little control freak?”

“Never…” He too had chuckled.

“I thought so. Anyway, I tried to hide behind the bodyguards, but the paps were quicker.”

“Yeah. You did look great, though. Very… ah, tanned. And fit.” The sexually-charged, suggestive silence that followed managed to provide the same euphoria she experienced after her morning run. Michael was that powerful.

“Thank you.” There. Non-committal answer. Perfect not to give too much away.

“So… you gonna tell me what you been up to? Or do I have to guess?”

“Nope. And nope.” She laughed again. “I think you should mind your own business for once. Until you see me again.”

“Woman… This is torture.”

“I know…” Lisa sighed. “I can’t wait to see you.”

“Yeah. And then we’ll have to make time to… talk about all those things you been doing to give me a heart attack even without touching you… or fu-”

“Behave, Mike…”

His giggle made her smile. “You don’t want me to behave, Lisa.”

Yeah. That was God’s honest truth.

“I’m not gonna say anything right now.” She did her best to sound stern, but he just laughed.

“Alright, let me put on my daddy hat again then…”

“You’re gonna put on your sexy daddy hat very soon…”

“Lisa! You’re not helping!”

As she laughed, she rose from the bed and walked out of the room, directed to the babies’ nursery. She knew what Michael wanted to do. Just like every night. Her love for him had always been limitless, but it had become even more immense lately.

“You there yet?”

“Yeah…” Lisa sat on the carpet, between the two cribs, and put the phone on speakerphone. “There you go, Mike.”

“Alright…” He cleared his throat. “Hey, babies… This is daddy singing for you… Good night Paris, good night Prince…”

And then his beautiful voice started singing an old song titled “Lean on Me.”

“Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there’s always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you won’t let show

You just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you’ll understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on..”

And just like that, like a charm, both babies fell asleep. It happened every night, when their dad would sing his lullaby to them.

Lisa’s heart grew some more as she quietly got up, kissed both babies and left the room, leaving the door ajar and bringing the baby monitor with her.

“Excellent performance, baby…”

“Thanks. Did they fall asleep?”

“They’re out like a light.”

“Great! I’m so jealous. So, what are you gonna do now to help me doze off, woman?”

She laughed and went downstairs, to the kitchen, opening the fridge and taking a bottle or strawberry juice.

“Stop it, pervert. It’s not even night over there. But I did want to ask you something…”

“What? You wanna know if you guys can fly over right now?”

Well, he was still playful. She loved him that way. He did sound tired, but also relaxed and in a good disposition.

“Ah, no. I wish we could. But anyway… I was thinking, you know… about us… you and me, and the children…”

When he spoke again, his voice conveyed maximum attention and definitely more seriousness.

“Yes?”

“About our future…”

“Yes?”

And she knew what he hoped. He hoped she was still considering his marriage proposal. And Lisa wished she could. Sadly, it just was not in her.

“Mike, why don’t we leave L.A.? Why don’t we find a nice place in another State and move there with our family? Out of this mess. This city is toxic. Leaving might cleanse us from all the venom we fight so hard to keep locked outside.”

He stayed quiet for a minute. She was not sure he was actually thinking about the possibility or trying to digest the fact that she didn’t seem inclined to get married again anytime soon. Yes, she did know that, in the long run, and maybe even before then, she would give in, because she wanted to be with him for the rest of her life. But that moment was nowhere in sight yet. Biting her lip, she waited.

“Where would you wanna go?”

“So… are you considering it?”

“No, actually I am not. In fact, I don’t think we need to move at all. I think we are managing just fine. Plus… What about Neverland? Hidden Hills? The Hideout? You know I love those places… Out of curiosity though, where would you like to go?”

She walked over to the patio, enjoying the warm temperature of the night. Somehow she knew he would say no. But she still thought leaving California was a great chance, for them, to get rid of many parasites. Like a dog shaking off fleas.

“Well, I don’t know Mike… I mean, we were so happy in New York, but that was before… you know, before everyone started to intrude. So…” She shrugged and sat down in one of the Adirondack chairs and put her feet on the small coffee table. “Let me think… Ono Island, in Alabama, is a beautiful place. Did you know that even garages have waterfront views over there?”

He giggled. “They do?”

“Yeah! What else… let’s see… What about Virginia?” She smiled. “And as you know, I am so in love with Tennessee…”

“Yeah, you’re my Southern girl…”

“That’s correct, Mister. So? What you think?”

He said what she had already heard him say when he didn’t want to blurt out a definite no, but it was also very improbable that he was going to consider a different alternative.

“I’ll think about it.”

Lisa didn’t insist. He had told her he would think about leaving for Europe a little earlier than expected, too, and eventually he had understood that it was the best choice. Maybe, just maybe, this matter would end up just the same way. And if it didn’t… well, she was ready to fight off enemies from where she was.

Amsterdam, June 9th, 1997 -Sofitel Legend The Grand Amsterdam – Night

Michael hung up his cell phone with a smirk and ran his hands over his face. He was exhausted, and despite having enjoyed a whole twenty-four-hour break after his first show in Amsterdam, he had not been able to sleep at all. He had probably dozed off for a few minutes every now and then, but it was just not working. He was not home, he could not snuggle against Lisa and let her stroke his hair until he fell asleep. He needed some help. He could not allow himself to go onstage after being awake for three or four days straight.

The only positive note was that staying on the phone with Lisa had managed to relax him at least a little bit. They almost had engaged in some hot, dirty, full-on phone sex, just like it had happened several times through the years, but they had somehow stayed on the razor’s edge throughout the whole conversation. Walking on that hot, simmering line that separated flirty bantering and dirty talking. It had been fun, and he had been turned on as all get out, both physically and mentally. There was just something about her voice, the way she dragged certain vowels, the raspy tone, her choice of words… Just something he had always adored about her, and that was able to make each one of his nerve endings snap to attention.

But alas, it had not been enough. Maybe they should have done a little more than flirting, after all.

Right now, as he sat on the king-size bed in his William of Orange Imperial Suite, the only thing Michael wanted was to close his eyes and stop thinking for several hours. All the while, his mind reeled back to his half-assed marriage proposal to Lisa. He sucked at those!

What had he been thinking? Asking her that way? Right in the middle of a conversation about how intrusive the press was trying to be, once again? Of course, she had questioned his motives. His timing. Maybe she even thought he had attempted to snow her when she was all fuzzy and vulnerable, right after making love… well, sorta.

Could he blame her?

In all honesty, Michael had been a bit surprised himself by his proposal. Yes, he did want to marry Lisa again, with all his heart, but now wondered why he had blurted out the question at that very moment. And in that totally unromantic way.

He should have known better. He had rushed her the first time, and it had not ended well. Besides, she had already given him all the reassurances he needed. Living with him again, taking care of Prince, offering to adopt his baby as soon as possible. The baby he had conceived with another woman.

What else did he want from her? Long gone voices crawled into his mind. Memories turning into flashes before his eyes.

“What do you want from me, uh? What the fuck else do you want from me, Michael?”

“I want to know if you’re sure of what you’re doing! That’s what I want!”

She looked at him, eyes wide open, as if he had lost his mind.

“Are you fucking kidding me? What do you need, uh? I tore my family apart to be with you!”

“And you never fail to remind me… Right? You just can’t help yourself, Lisa, can you?” The pulsing pain in his chest threatened to close his throat.

“This is ridiculous. It’s you! You do it on purpose! You drag me into this shit and then deny it, behaving like you are the poor, innocent victim! I’m reminding you because your fucking attitude forces me to… And because sometimes you don’t even seem to notice.”

“How can I not notice? You’re supposed to be divorced, but your fucking ex-husband is here all the time! He lives in our damn property!”

“Yeah, he does. And you know why? Because that’s how co-parenting works.”

“No, that’s not how co-parenting works. Co-parents don’t live together.”

“Ah, I didn’t know sharing a huge as fuck estate meant living together.”

Biting his lip, he had struck – knowing well that it was a low blow.

“Well, I’m away often. So I don’t really know how close to you he gets when I’m not around.”

Jealousy and possessiveness were so unbecoming. Michael didn’t like admitting that he was, indeed, a jealous man. And although he had never, ever had reasons to doubt Lisa’s faithfulness, he could not stop that stupid, uncalled for comment. Her defensive reactions always acted like a match over a pool of gasoline. It happened every time.

Things had changed in that department, too. Danny had moved out, and although he would often show up at Hidden Hills for his kids, he no longer lived there. When Michael had tried to investigate the hows and whys, Lisa had merely brushed off the subject, telling him that Danny having his own place out of the property was for the best. Apparently, his feisty woman didn’t feel the need to share every little reasoning with him, now. Which could essentially mean two things: she knew what she was doing, or she knew what was best for them as a couple. Both were positive possibilities.

Lisa was becoming the woman she wanted to be. And Michael, too, wanted to become the man he wanted to be. It was an ongoing process, and it had already started. In fact, he suspected the ride wouldn’t end anytime soon, and maybe it was for the best. He loved evolving, discovering, creating – everything, himself included. So perhaps, he could grant Lisa some trust and stop trying to push her in the direction he felt she needed to go. Maybe he just needed to let their relationship flourish in its own time.

The problem was, Michael didn’t like waiting. Once his mind was set, he wanted the result. The process, to him, was already halfway through at that point, so why not reach the finish line already?

Because this is no longer a one-man show. Chill. There’s someone else involved now. Be patient.

He blinked, almost physically feeling the heaviness of his eyelids. He was exhausted. Enough not to be fully functional and lucid, and yet not enough to sleep.

Grabbing his phone once again, he bit his lip and called the only person who could help, right then and there.

“Michael? Are you OK?” The doctor picked up right away.

“Hey, doc. Yes, just tired. Look – You think you can come up to my suite?”

“Do you need to sleep?”

Michael rubbed his eyes.

“Yeah… I really do.” He paused. “…And you said it’s safe, right?”

“Totally safe. We talked about it. Sleep is necessary to survive, and this is the best option we have in the short run. You don’t need to worry, especially because the anesthesiologist and I will be there with you the whole time…”

He exhaled a deep breath. Well, if he said it was safe…

“Alright then… I’ll be waiting for you.”

“We’ll come up right away, OK?”

“Sure. Thanks, doc.”

Michael was still holding the phone in his hand when it rang again. Rolling his eyes, the sharp sound penetrating his fatigued brain, he flipped the phone open, recognizing Wayne’s number.

“Wayne? Is the doctor at the door?”

“Boss? Ah… The doctor? No… The concierge called and said that someone is waiting for you at one of the Opera Suites.”

“Someone? Who?”

“He refused to be specific. He said you would understand, boss.”

Did he? Once again, Michael squinted. He had absolutely no idea of what Wayne was talking about, and even less he had an inkling of who was requesting his presence. He tried very hard to remember if he had any business meeting planned and, checking the clock, he noticed that it was a bit after ten PM. Not early, but not even too late for a conference for sure. His staff was used to gather at any given hour, to discuss everything – because to Michael, day or night didn’t make any difference. Only, nothing came to his mind at the moment.

In the condition he was in, he found it worrisome that his memory was starting to blur that way. Which meant that whoever was waiting for him in one of the Opera Suites would have to wait for him to be a little more clear-headed than this.

“Ah, Wayne… I can’t deal with anything right now. I have no idea who this person is, but I’m way too exhausted to look into it. I really, really need to sleep for a few hours. And then, I’m sure, it’ll all come back to me. So, please apologize for me and tell whoever is waiting for me that I’m not feeling well right now… and that I’ll get back to them as soon as I can… Tomorrow morning, possibly…”

“Yes, sir.”

“Oh, and by the way, the doctor and… ah, one of his assistants are coming over to my suite. Let them in.”

“OK, boss…” Wayne paused, and Michael knew – he knew that his bodyguard guessed why the doctor was going to be in the suite. Wayne was aware of what was probably going to happen and was worried. “…Do you need anything from me? …Anything I can do for you, Michael?”

Michael perceived the troubled, concerned tone in the man’s voice, but he was way too tired to care. Closing his eyes, he ran his fingers through his hair.

“No, Wayne, thank you so much. I’ll be fine. Good night.”