Unraveling – Chapter 6

Chapter 6 – Not like them

After leaving Christine in that alley, Michael spent at least a couple of hours driving around in his car alone, without any specific destination. He felt dirty and stupid and he also felt like the biggest asshole on the planet.

You know the only reason why Joseph wouldn’t be proud of you, if he knew what you just did? Because he adores Lisa. Your father. Not even he would applaud your behavior. You’re such an idiot, man!

He squinted his eyes, hating his inner voice with a passion, but also knowing that it was telling the truth. He had no doubt that Joseph would have likely laughed and winked at him in that mischievous, dirty manner that Michael had always found so annoying, if anything like that had happened with another girl. But not Lisa. Joseph loved her, deeply, like a daughter. She was the apple of his eye. And even he would probably berate him, if he knew.

As he kept going, leaving the city and immersing himself in the countryside, the sky started to become dark and cloudy and then it began to rain. At first, just tiny little drops that could not soothe him in any way, and then a furious beating that made driving difficult.

At that point, everything that Michael could see was black asphalt, gray sky and green all around. A long road that seemed to go nowhere. There was nobody around, the whole world seemed to have stopped spinning and he felt like the loneliest man on Earth. Exhausted and utterly disoriented, he turned to the right and into a small dirt road, pulled over and turned off the engine.

He just stood there, shoulders slumped, hands resting in his lap, head bowed down. Deflated. Defeated. Spent.

Had he really almost cheated on Lisa?

Well, man… You might have not fucked the lady, but sure her tongue down your throat and her hand on your dick don’t qualify as marital faithfulness. Don’t you think?

He just nodded his head absent-mindedly. Why lie to himself? They sure didn’t. He knew that trying to chase away the voice was pointless at this point. Just like trying to chase away the visuals. Images of his father cheating, of his brothers sleeping with every woman who would make herself available to them. Their families at home had never really mattered that much.

Michael had always taken pride in being different from them. He had never wanted to be that kind of man. He had never cheated on Lisa before. And he knew for a fact that she had never cheated on him. Of course, they both had slept with other people when they were not together. Before and after getting married and during those many “off” moments they had experienced after their stupid divorce, they both had shared their beds with some casual partner. But that was something else. Those were acts that had occurred because of anger, resentment, sadness. Mostly loneliness. As if the presence of a warm body next to theirs could defy the ghosts.

It could not. It had never worked. That was why he and Lisa would always end up gravitating around each other. That was why, eventually, they had gotten back together and were still together now. All things considered, back then and even right now, Michael had always known that, no matter what, he and Lisa would always belong to each other. Nobody else would ever do.

His heart dropped. What had he done? How had it even happened? And why now?

He realized that he had finally reached the point of non-return, the bottom of the pitfall and, for the life of him, he could not even imagine surviving after telling Lisa what he had done. Even though he had done very little. Very little still could be very meaningful. Very little could change everything.

In the past, his and Lisa’s explosive tirades, usually flamed by mutual jealousy, had been epic more often than not. As a couple, they had always been possessive of each other and they had never liked to even imagine the other sleeping with anybody. And even though Michael had always preferred to retreat and give her the silent treatment – because he knew that it drove Lisa nuts – inside, he was a volcano. Always on the verge of spitting flames.

However, this time he felt as if he was the one drowning in lava. And so he did the most natural thing. He stepped out of the car and leaned his back against it, just letting the rain pour down on him and cool him off. Despite being June, the temperature had dropped quite considerably and within minutes he started to feel cold. And yet he stayed there even when his whole body began to shake.

Careful, man. The last thing you want is to get sick. You got kids at home, remember? And Lisa taking care of you as you lie in bed with a fever would make you feel even worse.

Minutes later, when he finally sat back in the driver’s seat, his hair was plastered on his forehead and rain was dripping from his chin, but at least he felt remotely more like himself. It was weird how such an unexpected yet utterly idiotic event had managed to shock him back to an identity that he thought was long gone. Maybe, after all, there was still some… well, him in him.

Almost out of his own volition, he then dialed Janet’s number. He was not even sure that she would pick up the phone, given that in the past few years their once tight relationship had turned into some distant brother-sister affection. And yet, Michael knew that Janet had once been very close to Lisa. Even though they no longer hung out like they used to do in happier years, he had often heard them speak over the phone.

The truth was that he needed to unburden himself from the guilt that he felt and his sister was the easiest choice, mostly because he could still keep a bit of a distance. She lived in Los Angeles, after all. She could not scold him face to face and she likely would not betray his trust. Maybe. Hopefully.

Surprising him, Janet picked up the phone almost right away.

“Mike?”

She was not expecting to hear from him, that was for sure. Her tone conveyed all her surprise.

“Hey, Dunk…”

His exhausted, defeated tone immediately gave her pause.

“Hey… Are you okay? You don’t sound well at all. Is Lisa alright? The kids?”

“Yeah, they’re all good. Me? Not so much.”

“Why, are you sick?”

“I was just out in the rain and I’m soaked, but I think I’ll survive.”

She sighed over the phone.

“What have you done, Michael?”

What a weird choice of words. And tone. But Janet was obviously waiting for the other shoe to drop. Maybe she was even surprised that it had taken him so long to do something bad enough to be regretted. After all, if she spoke to Lisa almost on a regular basis, maybe she was also aware that things weren’t as peachy as they appeared from the outside.

“Well… I think… I…” Michael’s voice broke. He closed his eyes and focused on the rain tiptoeing on the car hood for a moment. “I think I almost cheated on Lisa.”

A pause.

“What the fuck have you done, again?”

His fine hearing told him that she had gotten up and had started to walk. He heard her open the fridge and then some liquid being poured in a glass. He realized that he too was thirsty and grabbed the bottle of water that he kept near the gearshift. He took a couple of long sips and then inhaled deeply.

“What are you having?”

“A drink. All of a sudden, I need it. Goddamn it, Michael!”

“Do you have ten minutes?”

“I got all the time in the world. So spit it out. All of it.”

Damn, she did sound mad at him. Well, he knew she was. Janet probably had realized that her brother had taken the habit of calling her only when important matters were concerned, but obviously had not been expecting any of that crap. Nothing this serious. And why should she? Michael had never done anything of that sort. Until now.

And so he told her. The truth, all of it, just like she had asked him to do. What was the point of lying or omitting, anyway? He calmly explained who Christine was, how he had met her, why he had kept seeing her, how he had wanted to keep things innocent and how they had ended up being anything but.

“Mike, who do you think you’re talking to? I know how you operate. I know you wanted that woman around for a reason. So please spare me the ‘I wanted to keep it innocent’ bullshit.”

“But I did! I just wanted it to be friendly! I never wanted this to become any of what… of what it ended up becoming.”

“That’s BS! As if you can’t recognize when women flirt with you. When they wanna bang you. Like I said, I know you, so this shit doesn’t fly with me. And I’m sorry big bro, but what you did is so fucked up. You could have avoided it from the start because you knew exactly what that woman wanted from you. So stop it, alright.”

Michael exhaled a long breath.

“Janet, I didn’t call for you to scold me, okay. There’s literally nothing you can say to me that I don’t already know. I called you because I needed someone I could talk to without fear of being betrayed.”

She laughed, a bit dryly.

“You’re talking about betrayal? For real, Mike? For real?”

“I just mean-”

“Oh no, I know what you mean. And I’m telling you right now, don’t even start ‘cause I’m having none of it. Even though Lisa and I sure aren’t as chummy as we used to be when you first pulled that shit. Remember? Years ago. When you decided to punish her during your divorce.”

“I never punished her for-”

“Oh yes, you did. You started punishing her way before the divorce, actually. When you did what you did with Debbie while you were still married to Lisa. Who does that, huh? Who?”

“You know very well that I never slept with Debbie.”

“Well, she still managed to get your sperm anyway, didn’t she?”

Michael pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, his head dropping.

“Janet… Please. Seriously. Not again. It was a lifetime ago.”

“No! I know you didn’t like it, that I didn’t speak to you for a long time after that stunt, but believe me, you deserved all of it. I mean, that was cold, Michael. What you did. So, like I said, don’t even start. I’m telling you right now that I’m gonna tell her anyway.”

“Who?”

“Are you effin’ serious right now? Lisa! Of course I’m gonna tell her.”

“No, no! Please, Janet, please. Don’t butt in. Let me be the one trying to fix this.” Feeling pure anger surface in the pit of his stomach, he held onto the phone tighter and spoke in between gritted teeth. “Can you just be fucking loyal to me this one time? You know, since you weren’t at all the first time around?”

At the other end of the line, Janet gasped.

“What?! You gotta be fucking kidding me. Do you even hear yourself? You talking about betrayal. You talking about loyalty. Yet it was you feeling some skanky girl up just a little while ago. Not Lisa.”

Michael set his jaw.

“I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have called you.”

Janet stayed quiet for a long time. He heard her plop down on what, in his mind, imagined being a couch.

“Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t have. But you did. And I’m just mad, Michael. I’m just so fucking furious with you at this very moment.”

“I know… I am mad at myself as well. I am horrified. If that is of some consolation.”

Once again, his sister seemed to take a moment to think things over.

“Wanna know what I think?”

“Of course… Shoot…”

God, he was beyond exhausted.

“I think you got this woman who loves you so fucking much it’s not even funny. You know that. She ain’t perfect, and neither are you, believe me – but she’s so fucking in love with you, she’d do everything to stay by your side. And the point is, I think you can’t deal with the perfection that your life is… or can be. That’s why you’re sabotaging it. No, wait. You’re doing this to yourself. You’re such a darn self-saboteur, Mike. What the hell…”

What the hell is right. What the hell is wrong with me, indeed.

The words spoke in his mind in his own voice, but stayed there. Buried. Silent.

“You think what you have will eventually be taken away from you… Or at least that’s what I feel. And you look like you’re doing your darn best to speed up the process and control… everything you can. ‘Cause that’s what you do. You need to be in control. You prefer to be the driving force behind this just to get it over with.”

“I don’t think that’s fair, Janet.”

“It’s not supposed to be fair. It just is what it is. I love you, Mike. You know that, right. I love you with all my heart. But it seems to me that you can’t appreciate happiness any longer because it… I don’t know. Because it scares you. I can’t even blame you for that, ‘cause you sure went through some nasty shit, but…”

“Look, it’s just not that easy. You’re making it sound so easy, but it’s not.”

“No, I really am not. I’m just speaking my mind. Call it a gut feeling, or whatever. It’s just my opinion.”

“Okay, fine. I just think it’s about so much more than what you said.”

“Maybe. I’m not psych, you know. Or maybe you’re going through some fucked up midlife crisis ‘cause guess what, you’re all grown up and shit now. Either way, you gotta choose, Michael. You gotta choose what you wanna do next.”

Michael chewed on the inside of his cheek until it hurt. He knew that Janet was right.

“Are you really gonna tell her?”

Janet huffed and he imagined her rolling her eyes.

“…No. For now! As long as you promise me that you will. And soon.”

“I don’t want her to leave me. And I don’t want to lose her.”

“Oh, I am sure you don’t. But in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not entirely surprised that you guys aren’t doing that great. I just wasn’t expecting for you to be such a fucking dickhead… Again!”

“Hey, watch your mouth now…”

Damn, when had Janet become so foul-mouthed?

“I can watch my mouth, but you better realize that Lisa too is terrified of losing you. I’m not even sure you can see it. You’re stuck in your own head most of the time.”

“Ah, no, I’m not.”

“Oh yes, you are. I know you two have been growing distant, and she’s worried. She feels like she can’t reach you. And what’s sad is that right now she would accept everything, even if it goes against her principles or her nature… She would, if only she was sure that it made you happy. That’s how much she loves you.”

Janet’s words stunned him.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. Once again, gut feeling. Or maybe you should ask her. All I’m saying is that I’m not sure the same woman who kicked your ass years ago would do it again now.”

“Why? I mean, if I deserve it…”

“You totally do! But she ain’t gonna do it. Because you’re supposed to have grown together, that’s why! And at times, that also means tolerating your partner’s shit!”

No. Janet was wrong. Albeit the general principle was correct, that was not at all how it was supposed to go. Not with his wife. Michael had always whined about Lisa’s stubbornness and at times he had even resented her for not having stayed by his side when things between them had started to go south, years earlier, while they were married the first time. But in fact, he had vacated the premises just as much as she had. They were equally responsible for what had happened.

And now, the truth was that he wanted Lisa to want him for him. To love him for him. To stay by his side because she wanted to, not just because she thought it would make him happy. Or even worse, despite everything. Anything. He was not a charity case.

And also, all this was so reminiscent of…

“Janet?”

“What?”

“I don’t wanna be like Joseph. I really don’t.”

He blurted out the words and they almost sounded as if he was speaking to himself. And, for the first time, his sister’s voice became soft, understanding.

“And you’re not. You’re not like our father. And if you’re not, stop acting like you are. Just do better, alright? I know you can. So… be the man you’ve always been.”

A few minutes later, Michael made a U-turn and headed home. The rain kept pouring and, glancing at his watch, he noticed that he would probably be slightly late for dinner. After promising Prince that he wouldn’t be. God… where was his head, lately? He needed to get a fucking grip.

And after that, he needed to take a long shower, put on a collected mask and enjoy a nice, serene dinner with his family.

Finally, he needed to tell his wife that their marriage was taking a direction that was not good at all. And that maybe they needed help.

He knew that he did, that was for sure.

Lisa was lying down on her side, in bed, when Michael stepped out of the bathroom and, after hesitating for a moment, reached her under the sheets. She didn’t really know how she was supposed to act around him. Lately, in general, and especially tonight.

The moment she had seen him get out of the car and walk to the front door of their house she had immediately realized that something was very wrong with him.

Michael was soaked, as if he had decided to just stand in the rain for a long time. He was also breathtakingly beautiful, but that was no news. Even though a part of Lisa would probably always be surprised at the effect that this man had on her, the first thing that had hit her was how lost he looked. There was just something in his eyes. A haunted, hunted expression that she hadn’t seen with such clarity in a very long time. In years, really.

And so, she had decided to not say anything and stay put. Because with time and experience, she had learned not to push it when Michael was in one of his moods. Given how adrift they seemed to have gone, as of late, she couldn’t blame herself for tiptoeing around him, not knowing what to do or how to approach him. Don’t poke the bear had become the golden rule. If she just ignored it, maybe whatever problem they had would simply go away. After all, what had thrashing around been useful to, during their first marriage?

Nothing. If anything, probing him would make everything worse – just like it had happened the first time around. Michael would usually leave because he hated conflict. Drama scared the daylights out of him and upset him. That was why, since the trial, avoiding conflict had been one of Lisa’s top priorities in her relationship with him.

Earlier that evening, she had watched him remove his jacket and carelessly throw it on chair, in the foyer. His short hair was all over the place, no longer styled as it had been in the morning, and his dark purple shirt was plastered against his torso. He was in great shape and looked strong, healthy.

Even physically, Michael had changed so much in the last couple of years, and looked amazing. It was as if he had shed skin once again and this new phase of his life didn’t require any make-believe, any trick, and maybe not even that twist of magic any longer.

However, Lisa loved how he kept such a natural look lately. It allowed his gorgeous, manly features to shine through the almost invisible makeup. So light that it made his – at this point ever-present – stubble always more than visible. As she kept observing him quietly, Michael had turned to look at her for an instant. Not saying a word, just finding her eyes for a moment.

Lisa had asked him if everything was okay and he had just nodded his head. When Logan had run in his direction, hugging his knees, Michael had picked him up and kissed the top of his head.

“Hi, little man.” He had glanced at Lisa again and, this time, he had blushed. “Yeah, I’m good. I just need a shower.”

“You look like you already took one.”

The ironic remark had made him smirk. Amazing. She felt like the eggshells she had to walk on had suddenly become more solid.

Lisa had moved closer to him and had rested her hands on his shoulders, scanning his face. The blush on Michael’s cheeks had intensified and she had decided that she really could not do this right now. She could not probe and poke until she found out what was wrong with him. And something was indeed wrong, it didn’t matter how many times he denied it.

“Okay, then… We’ll be waiting for you. Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes.”

“Sounds good.”

Before he could pull away, Lisa had brought his head down to her, kissing his lips gently. He had sighed, then he had broken the contact and she had pretended not to watch him as he went up the stairs, shoulders slumped, as if the whole weight of the world was pushing him down.

But all in all, dinner had gone well. They had spent time with the kids and then had checked their homework. Lisa loved that all the children went to regular school now. They finally had the chance to experience an existence that was so very similar to a normal life. In some ways, it was a first for all of them. She just observed how carefully and dedicatedly Michael helped Paris repeat a poem that she had to learn by heart as he bounced Logan on his knee, making him laugh and squeal.

He was such an excellent father, and it made Lisa wonder. What if she had trusted him, back then? What if she had relented and had simply gone with his vision? Having kids with him, even though at that point she knew that she and Michael were already such in deep shit as a couple. It hadn’t worked with Danny, and she had thought it would never work with Michael either. And yet, maybe she was wrong.

Could she have imagined that becoming a dad would have grounded him so much? Turned him into the calmer, more present man that she had always loved so much?

No, she couldn’t have. Every consideration was always easier in retrospect. The past could not be changed. She had to deal with the reality that turning back time was simply impossible and do her best with what she had now. Which was a lot, anyway.

Later that evening, when she went to bed, Michael was still in his study, after helping her put the kids to sleep in their rooms. It was not uncommon that he kept working until late. Since he had started working on his project he had been beyond busy. But it was okay. Lisa loved to know that his drive was finally back.

However, that night he was acting differently and she knew there would only be a time when she could truly guess what was going on with him. The little microcosm that they shared at night, when they were in the same bed, in the quietness of their private quarters.

Even though they had been so obviously drifting apart, at night their bodies moved on autopilot and, more often than not, they would wake up in the morning close to each other, their limbs entwined. Lisa’s head resting against Michael’s shoulder or Michael’s chest pressed against Lisa’s back as he spooned her. Muscle memory. It had to mean something. Lisa knew that it did.

However, it stunned her that Michael didn’t wait for her to be asleep to hug her from behind, this time. Her goosebumps were accompanied by a feeling of utter warmth spreading from the pit of her belly and making her skin tingle. Concern was also there. Why was he doing this? He hadn’t acted like that in a very long time. Was this the beginning of something? Or the end? She couldn’t know and she had to avoid her notorious knee-jerk reactions, especially dangerous if they were driven by fear.

Allowing her most intimate self to take over, Lisa relied on pure instinct when she pushed back and more into his body. Then she intertwined her fingers with his, holding his hand close to her chest. How was it even possible that such a small contact made her feel as if she was twenty-something again? She had to smile to herself. It was because she was still so in love with Michael. Did he know? Did he realize it?

She felt his lips on the nape of her neck, his warm breath touching her hair. His scent was all around her. She stayed perfectly still and noticed that his hand had come to rest against her heart. She rubbed her cheek against his wrist and his other hand came up, his fingertips touching her lips. This was so completely unforeseen, and Lisa reacted in the most natural way. She kissed his skin.

“Michael…”

“Yeah…”

His voice was a whisper in the darkness. Lisa swallowed and, for no apparent reason, her eyes started to burn. She felt like crying but she also didn’t want this moment to end.

“I love you.”

He replied with a choked sob. Another unexpected reaction. What the hell had happened? She wanted to ask, but could not bring herself to speak the words. What if he told her that it was over? That he wanted a divorce? That he didn’t want to be with her any longer?

But then his hand moved to her cheek. He gently turned her head and their lips met. The contact was light at first, then Michael turned the heat on and Lisa entangled her fingers in his hair, on the back of his head. Sighing, she closed her eyes and got lost in the kiss, noticing how her whole body had already started to react to that unexpected, intimate contact.

And his body… Well, his body too was reacting. She found out the moment her hips moved back slightly and she felt his hard ridge pressing against her ass. Lisa moaned against his lips and everything stopped existing. For just that moment in time. Whatever it was that Michael was not telling her was being replaced by this intense connection that they were experiencing once again. They hadn’t made love in months and Lisa was starving for his body, for his skin, for his heart. She longed for him. She burned for him.

“Lisa… Lisa, Lisa… You drive me insane…” Between kisses, Michael started to slowly push her panties down her thighs. She had been wearing a skimpy tong and a tank top, nothing else. “I burn for you…”

Her eyes opened and found his. As she finally broke the kiss, she was breathless and he too was already panting. She touched his face, loving the raspy feeling of his short beard against the palm of her hand.

“And I miss you… I miss my husband.”

As she kept staring into his eyes, Michael finished removing her panties and his hand moved up once again, just as hers reached behind her back, caressing his naked torso, then sliding down and touching him through the cotton fabric of his pajama pants. He was fully aroused and a victorious sensation pervaded her. It made her feel triumphant, to know that she still held that power over him. To know that she still affected him, that he still wanted her after all those years. And despite the conundrum that they seemed to be trapped into.

Or maybe he just needed to get laid and she was the most convenient choice. The easiest option.

The possibility intruded her thoughts like a wedge and something shifted in her eyes. Michael seemed to notice – and that was not surprising either. She knew that they could still be in tune if only they wanted to. She had to wonder why, lately, they had been so unable to communicate. To truly let themselves go.

“No, no… Don’t. I love you so damn much, Lise. You’re everything I want, everything-”

Pulling his head down to her again, she kissed him how she would have wanted to kiss him every single day in the past six months or so. It was also because she couldn’t bear the pain she felt in his voice. Her eyes closing, she felt his big, warm hand cover her smaller one as her fingers closed on him. He guided her movements on himself and she about lost it there and then. Michael too seemed affected, judging by the way his penis strained into her hand. Her mouth watered and she swallowed. She needed him inside.

Right on cue, Michael pushed his pants and underwear down and she helped him out, all the while bringing her ass more into him. The feeling of his steel against her flesh made her whimper and, when he started to undulate against her, her kisses became hotter, even more intense. She sucked on his tongue and he emitted some sort of growl, his knee parting her legs slightly as the tip of his cock touched her warm center. He had no idea how ready for this she was.

Once again Lisa broke the kiss and stared at him. Michael was breathless, he looked high. His eyes were bright, dark, irresistible.

“Baby… Do you want this…”

How she loved that low, raspy tone in his voice, signaling his arousal, the intense desire that he could barely keep at bay. How she had missed it. And how she adored that he wanted to make sure that they craved the same thing.

“Yeah… Please… Please, fuck me, Mike… Make love to me… I can’t take it anymore.”

Biting his lip and still staring at her, he guided himself inside of her. Not that he would have needed any help anyway, given how hard he was. She gasped, feeling him breach her, realizing that months without having him inside would mean that this would hurt and loving the mixture of pain and pleasure so much that she risked coming right away.

“Oh, shit… There you go, Lise…” He kissed her again. “Open up… That’s it… Oh, girl…”

Their eyes remained connected when he started to move in slow, yet deep thrusts, forcing her whole body to shift, making her gasp and sigh. As beads of sweat began to appear on his forehead, she realized that he was already close and that she was too.

“Baby… Oh, fuck… I don’t think I…”

His urgent words pushed her over the edge and she started to come violently, convulsing around his steel. Telling him how much she loved him. Keeping her eyes open and watching him grit his teeth as her pleasure obviously risked making him lose it as well. And even though she had no doubt that he could keep going and going, even though she wanted him to keep going and going and never stop, Lisa also needed for him to join her in this white haze. More than anything, she needed to feel and see him lose control. To lose himself in her, with her.

Reaching back again she grasped his hair and bit down on his lower lip, before kissing him again. Before speaking against his mouth, her voice whispered and hurried.

“I wanna feel you. Let me feel you, Mike. Come, baby. I know you want it. Come with me.”

It was the truth. She didn’t know if it was just one never-ending orgasm or if he was making her climax again. She just knew that it was happening again and that she could not stop it.

Michael moaned, then hid his face in the hollow of her neck and Lisa felt him jerk and twitch inside of her, as his body seemed to freeze for a second. And then he just let go, holding onto her, almost squeezing her in his embrace without hurting her at all. She smiled and felt a tear run down her cheek, but didn’t say a word. She just kept stroking his hair instead. She just kept listening to his uneven breathing until he finally was able to calm down.

And she also kept holding him inside, her hips gently swaying against him, massaging him, making him moan and jerk some more. They kissed, and their motions became languid, tender.

He kissed her cheek, drying the tear from her skin.

“Don’t go anywhere. Stay inside of me.”

Michael smiled, a bit sadly.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah…” Lisa touched his face. “I’m sure.”

They just stared at each other and she waited. She kept stroking his cheek. At this point, she could guess what was coming and when it did, she was not surprised.

“I do love you, Lise. So very, very much.”

She sniffled. How beautiful it was to hear him say those words again. And how heartbreaking, too.

“I love you too. I will always love you.”

“I’m so sorry. I know something inside of me is broken. But I also know something else. That you… and the babies… You’re my sanity. You’re my whole world. Everything to me. Marrying you was the first step toward complete healing.”

“I am still here, Michael. I am not going anywhere. None of us is.”

“I know. But I think we need some help. I wanna make this work. I want us… you and I… to work.”

She knew that he was right.