Chapter 13

“Prague is the Paris of the Nineties.”
–Marion Ross

Nosticova Palace – Twenty-four hours later

Michael’s eyes were open and fixed on the ceiling. His body was fully relaxed, but his mind kept running. It truly felt as if he was back to his old habits, when the night would fall and he would still be wide awake, unable to sleep, unable to rest. It didn’t matter how busy he had been during the day and how hard he had worked to distract himself from his current predicament. Now that Lisa was no longer around, sleep had once again become his slippery and elusive as a jellyfish.

He still couldn’t believe she had left for real. He had thought he would be able to control her sudden fear, that he would come up with some genius reply like he had done when she had tried to throw him out of her suite, after making love. Instead, despite all his efforts she had decided to leave and had pretty much abandoned him there at the hotel.

Don’t be overly dramatic. She hasn’t abandoned you. She’s been gone for twenty-four hours and she’ll be back soon. Why do you even care, anyway? You spent a whole-ass year without her and you’ve been just fine.

Yeah… only he hadn’t been that fine without her, to be really honest. And although he very well knew that Lisa hadn’t left for good at all, it still stung to have her choose to go out of town for a day or two with Dana instead of spending the last couple of days in Prague with him. Being close, working together on this project, making love, reconnecting. After all, they didn’t have much time left before going back home, so why weren’t they spending these few days left together?

What’s gotten into your mind, brother? You know the rules. You agreed to them. This was never supposed to be anything serious.

Yes, of course. Nothing serious. They could keep pretending that what they had been engaging in was unimportant and trivial, but he and Lisa both knew it wasn’t true. That was exactly the reason why she had wanted some space. She had told him that they both needed a break because what they had, had already become more serious than it was supposed to be.

And Michael’s words, as usual, had frozen in his throat. He hadn’t been able to tell her that he wanted her by his side with all his heart, especially now. Not only because he craved her, longed for her, had once again become addicted to her body, but also because of the sudden emotional intimacy they had found. John’s appearance and little temper tantrum had only solidified his belief.

Lisa had asked Michael why he had felt the need to jump in. She wanted to know why he had protected her, why he had decided to get involved in something that obviously had very little to do with him. After all, John wasn’t her boyfriend – but Michael wasn’t either.

He had been honest when he had told her that he didn’t like the way that dude spoke to her, but there was also so much else. Before actually chiming in and saying what he needed to say, he had just listened to their uneasy conversation, just observing them from afar. Lisa looked distressed, caught off guard, far from the sarcastic, tough girl he would have expected to see in such circumstances. Instead she looked way out of her depth, small, almost unable to defend herself from the subtle jabs that stupid white guy was throwing at her. To Michael, John’s behavior had quickly turned from mildly amusing to straight-out annoying. Who the fuck did this dude think he was?

Meanwhile, countless occasions when Lisa had jumped in his defense – while they were still married, or afterward, when they were lovers – and had tried to protect him from people she had perceived as enemies, or potential ones, had flashed before his eyes. If way too many times in the past he had shrugged off her vigilant behavior, considering it a bit of an overreaction, the last year sure had taught him a lesson. The time he had spent away from her, and the few days they had spent together in Prague, had allowed Michael to finally observe everything from a different perspective.

He was a twice-divorced father of two and the only woman he loved, the dream girl he had actually wanted by his side was no longer in the picture. For a long time he had thought that becoming a dad would be enough to make him feel complete, happy, fulfilled, yet he now knew that it wasn’t entirely true. He loved his children more than anything and anyone in the world and had no issues raising them alone, as a single dad, but he could feel that his life missed something, and it was Lisa’s presence. It had taken him a long time to finally acknowledge it, but in the end it had happened. Michael didn’t know when or how exactly, but it had. And that evening, while he watched Lisa try to get rid of a man she obviously had no feelings for, he had wondered what would have happened if only they hadn’t sacrificed their marriage on the altar of their respective hang-ups.

Where would they be now? How would have things played out, if only he had listened to her, when she had told him that she just wanted for them to be solid again before having his kids? Deep down, Michael knew that him deciding that Lisa had broken her promise was nothing but a stubborn simplification of what had truly happened. The truth was that things were way more nuanced and complicated than that, but for a long time that had been his way to rationalize his immense disappointment, his pain. Despite having gotten back to her and having welcomed her back a thousand times, he was not sure he had ever been able to get over what he had purposefully decided to interpret as a flat-out betrayal. Sleeping around when he and Lisa weren’t together and frequenting companies that he knew weren’t too good for him hadn’t helped him feel better either.

It was weird how something stupid like a dumbfuck appearing out of nowhere had been able to generate such an intense stream of consciousness, and so quickly too! As he observed John treating Lisa as if she was some silly teenager instead of a grown woman, Michael had realized that not doing a damn thing about it was not an option.

He wanted to protect his girl. That same girl who had been such an incredible, unstoppable force when it came to protecting him, time and time again, while they were together. Lisa had broken up with that fool pretty quickly, but had gone to unlimited lengths to make it work with him, Michael. And he knew he wasn’t easy to build a relationship with, let alone a family. In retrospect, he could now see that she had been up against so much to be with him. She had had to tackle everything and everyone who wanted to ruin it for them, and had run through firestorms for their relationship to hold, even while he was married to another woman. What Lisa had done for him wasn’t something many other women would have done. The realization had crystallized into his mind like a beautiful, shiny butterfly and he had just wanted, with all his might, for John to go away. He had wanted Lisa to be all his again and he had almost told her.

But then she had thrown her little grenade – claiming that she needed a break from him as well. After their hot moment in the backyard, after feeling so inebriated that not fucking her then and there had almost felt like violence, Michael had known that he and Lisa were falling in love all over again. How would they be able to say goodbye in just a couple of days?

Of course, Lisa had been spooked, and she had done what she would usually do when she was scared. She had run. Kissing him quickly again, she had told him that she would take on Dana’s offer, and then she had gotten back into the shelter.

Michael could tell that she was confused. He was too. However, for the first time in so long, he was also eager to consider this week together as the start of something else. Something much more meaningful and profound than just sex. Maybe things could indeed be different, better, if he and Lisa were on the same page. That was why he had to be careful of how he reacted to her: if he pushed her again, if he made her feel forced now, she would bail. Everything would crumble again.

So that had been pretty much it. Later that night, Lisa hadn’t gone back to the hotel with Michael. She had stayed at the Threshold and she and Dana had left at dawn for Vienna for some business meetings with a couple of big, potential sponsors.

Michael hadn’t said a thing. He had just let her go, hadn’t even tried to reel her back or convince her that her bailing now was a bullshit idea. Yet, Lisa leaving – albeit for just a day or two – had been another little heartbreak in the series of immense heartbreaks they had shared through the years. That was the effect that pulling apart the very moment the foundations were there for them to get closer had on him.

Sighing, he grabbed a book from the nightstand and decided to read a chapter or two, hoping he would be able to sleep at least for a couple of hours.

Vienna, that same night

Lisa sat down on her bed in her hotel room and raked her fingers through her wet hair. The soft feeling of the warm robe against her body was comforting, but she felt lonely just the same. She had hoped her little business trip with Dana would help her cope with her life spiraling out of control for the umpteenth time and, for a while, it had even worked. Until she had gone back to her hotel room, obviously, and had found herself alone again.

She couldn’t believe talking to her mother over the phone could rattle her to the extent that she was still thinking about it twenty-four hours later.

When she had called Priscilla, the previous day, Lisa had been fuming. She had pondered over the idea of just letting the whole thing simmer until she was back to Los Angeles, but it simply couldn’t be done. She needed to vent, and the more she thought about what had happened, the more her anger increased. Her mother really had tried to ambush her in Prague using an ex-boyfriend. And she had succeeded, given that Lisa had effectively fallen into her trap.

Well, almost. Michael saved the day, didn’t he?

Yeah, he had, but at what price? Lisa had ended up recoiling from him too, not feeling in control of anything any longer. Her mother hadn’t been able to respect her decision of breaking up with a man she mildly liked. John hadn’t accepted that Lisa no longer wanted to have anything to do with him. And Michael… well… Michael was supposed to just fuck her, not making her fall in love with him all over again.

Running away for a bit had been the only option left. Too bad that she now missed Michael more than she could tolerate. Spending a whole hour on the phone with her children surely had helped her soothe her loneliness, but the sense of estrangement she felt needed a special kind of medicine. Lisa recognized all the symptoms of her discomfort and knew what the cure was. Despite being aware that having Michael close, right now, would feel just perfect, she also missed his friendship, closeness, ability to understand her.

It was weird how stepping back had allowed her to observe things from a different perspective.

Yes, he had in the past punished her for what he felt were her wrongdoings, and had done so quite cruelly at times. But how much love he had been able to provide her with? How much light, how much undiluted happiness, how much perfect joy? Whenever Lisa thought about that, all their failures as a couple just vanished, swallowed up whole by the luminosity they were able to give each other.

Besides… you never really thanked him for what he did for you the other night. For how he handled John, knowing that you were having troubles doing that by yourself. You were so ready to scold him – or jump his bones – but you never thanked him.

It was the truth. And it hurt her to realize that, at times, she was still so incapable of seeing what was right in front of her nose, especially when it came to Michael. Her own mother had polluted her to the point that, for so long, Lisa had been eager to point out every misstep he made, all while remaining utterly blind to everything else. Like his obvious concern for her wellbeing, his desire to have her there with him, and his love…

He didn’t need to say anything. Those feelings she had for such a long time tried to brush off as nothing but casual were there, she couldn’t deny it. He loved her. And she felt the intensity of that love with the force of a train at full speed.

Before she could even realize what the heck she was doing, she had already grabbed her phone and dialed his number. His cell phone rang twice, and then he picked up.

“Lisa?”

“Mike…”

“Lise…”

Instant relief. She smiled, and that unmistakable sense of warmth seemed to invade her. So why did she feel like crying all of a sudden? This was not at all what this was all about.

“…Thank you.”

He stayed quiet for a moment. Maybe he had already forgotten all about what had happened, and she just sounded like a loon calling him in the middle of the night.

“…You’re welcome. However, I still think he shouldn’t have come at all.”

Oh. He had understood. Lisa’s smile grew bigger and her heart melted some more.

“I called my mom, you know… Last night… I told her that she needs to butt the fuck out of my business. And yours, for that matter.”

“I am glad to hear you got your spunk back… even though you sound like a dirty truck driver. But Lise, what she did has nothing to do with me, so you don’t really have to worry about that. I just don’t like how she unleashed that crap on you.”

Lisa sighed and lay down on the bed, her head sinking into the pillows.

“Actually, I think it does have something about you, Michael. Before I left L.A., she told me she suspected you were involved in the Threshold. I thought she was just being paranoid.” God, she wanted a cigarette. “And I still think she is, because she sent her new lapdog right on my ass just because she thought I was in Prague with you. So she wanted to spoil it for you too. I’m sorry about that.”

“Girl…! What are you ever sorry for? You were in Prague with me! So she wasn’t wrong, after all. Just her usual unpleasant self.” Michael giggled, and Lisa could tell that he truly was unbothered. “Just imagine if she knew what you and I have been doing when we aren’t working…”

Him vaguely referring to their dirty, secret sexcapades immediately sent heat to all the right places in her body. However, concern was still prevalent, pervasive. Concern and confusion. Should she tell him what she had also said to her mother? That what she did or didn’t do with Michael wasn’t her damn business? That maybe she and Michael would indeed end up getting back together, and that Priscilla couldn’t do a fucking thing about it? Yeah, Lisa had said those things out of spite, just to piss her mom off, but that didn’t mean that they weren’t what she truly wanted. And Michael was right when he referred to her as a dirty truck driver. She definitely needed to wash her mouth with soap.

But no, Michael didn’t need to know about her conversation with her sweet, adorable, totally respectful mother. There was something else she needed to tell him first. Something much more important.

“I never told John you were history to me. I need you to know that, ‘cause I don’t want you to think otherwise. That was just some bullshit he came up with to hurt me… and you.”

“Yeah? You never even thought I was? For real?”

Well… that was another matter entirely. She would usually think many stupid things that were way off the mark when she was upset. She could indeed become quite unreasonable.

“Alright, let’s put it this way… I don’t think you are now.”

“Now I’m not? Why? What changed?”

Little bastard! He knew how to push her buttons. And she loved him even more for that.

“I don’t know… It just did. Change, that is.”

He didn’t reply, but she could almost feel his quiet satisfaction. If only she closed her eyes for a moment, she could easily imagine him – in his hotel room, on that huge bed, all alone. Why had she left? She should have stayed with him, where she belonged. This was supposed to be their moment, their parenthesis in a life that didn’t seem to want them together. Instead she had run, just to clear her mind. And it was working, but the downside was that now she missed him almost to the point of tears.

“Oh, hey… How’s Vienna, by the way? As beautiful as always?”

It was relieving to know that he could still guess her mood. That was why he was trying to lighten up the conversation.

“Yeah… It’s weird that we have always visited this city separately.”

“I agree. We should have definitely done it together…” Another small pause. “…And you know what… maybe we should.”

Lisa’s eyes closed again and she swallowed. Her defenses were starting to crumble and she watched the invisible tower of her self-preserving mechanisms being bombarded to pieces by Michael’s cannonballs. Yet, weirdly enough, she felt entirely at peace witnessing that destruction. Maybe it was because that invisible tower had ended up becoming her prison instead of her refuge. It was funny to think that she had accused him of the same thing, in the past, telling him that his intense need to protect himself locked everyone else out. Including her.

She cleared her throat.

“Where are you? At the hotel?”

“Yeah. I worked my ass off all day, drove back here with Wayne, took a shower and now I was trying to read a book and chill out.”

“You took a shower with Wayne?”

“Lisa…! Are you freaking serious?!?”

She burst out laughing. How liberating it felt. And how she had always loved to goad him, knowing well what would make him squirm.

“Dude, calm down..! I was just kidding. I know you don’t roll that way.” She turned to her side and watched the snow that wouldn’t stop falling outside the window. White crystals gently swaying against a blue backdrop and down like tiny ballerinas. “Where are you?”

“I told you… I’m in my room.”

“Yeah, but where?” She bit her lip. “I’m on the bed…”

She heard him hold his breath for a moment, as if he was pondering over her words and their meaning. Or noticing her sudden drop in octaves. When he replied again, she could tell that something in his voice had changed as well.

“Yeah… I’m on the bed too. And it feels quite lonely without you.”

Should she say it? Unlike in the past, Lisa’s internal struggle lasted very little this time.

“I know. Same here…” Yeah… she couldn’t hold it anymore. “…Must be because I miss you.”

“Oh, girl. I miss you too. You have no idea how much…” He was smiling, she could tell. “You leaving wasn’t a stroke of genius, I told you…”

“Yeah… and yet, maybe it was the best decision of all…”

“Who knows? Maybe. All I know is that I’d give you all kinds of good reasons to stay, if you were here now…”

Yes. His voice definitely sounded different. And she recognized that tone because she had heard it before, more than once. Through the years, she and Michael had shared endless hours over the phone whenever they couldn’t be physically together, and although it had never happened recently, it now almost felt as if time hadn’t passed at all. Lisa also knew that, at times, when they were shrouded by the darkness of the night and they were both in the mood, those hushed phone conversations could also turn into something different. And maybe, well… maybe this would be one of those nights.

Stop thinking. Feel. Just feel him and go with the flow, for once.

She wished it was that easy, ‘cause surely going with the flow had gotten her into a lot of trouble in the past. But it had also brought her Michael. And he would never, ever be anything but that once-in-a-lifetime person that not many had the luck to find.

“What reasons would you give me to stay?”

“It’s not something that can be said with words.”

“Well… You can try.”

Michael stayed quiet some more. She knew that words would often come difficult to him, but he would have to give it a try in this case. She needed to hear his voice. In a night when she missed every single thing about him, when her decision to leave him in Prague truly started to sound foolish, his voice was all she had left.

“I would tell you that nothing can soothe me like your presence by my side. Especially at night. And that you wouldn’t be so sad if I was there with you.”

She chuckled, but it was devoid of any joy.

“I’m not sad.”

“Yeah… You are… You forget that I know you, Lise. And I can tell that you feel lonely just as much as I do. I wish we didn’t feel that way… that we didn’t have to feel that way.” She heard his sigh. “But I know we could stop feeling lonely, if only we wanted to…”

More silence.

“Mike?”

“Yeah?”

“I shouldn’t have left.”

“You’re right. You shouldn’t have. When are you coming back?”

Lisa shrugged.

“I don’t know. Tomorrow, I think. I’m not sure yet.”

“Can’t you just leave now? I can’t wait for you to return. I wanna see you.”

More butterflies took off in her chest. He wanted to see her? This Michael right here sounded much more like the guy she had fallen in love with so many years ago. The guy who had been able to convince her that flying over to Japan just to be with him would be a great idea. And indeed it had been.

“Hey! I’m not the one running the show… It’s Dana.”

“Well, then… Go ask Dana to catapult you back here right now. Straight into my bed.”

She had to laugh. He was so silly.

“And then? What would you do if I were there, in your bed?”

Her tone was still light, but Michael’s wasn’t when he replied. As a matter of fact, he sounded dead serious.

“I would take every single piece of clothing off you and watch you. You know how much I adore your body. And then I would make love to you until we both forget that this vacation is almost over… ‘cause sure as fuck I don’t want it to be.”

Lisa swallowed. He had been crystal-clear. And him dirtying up his usually clean vocabulary was an added plus. He had to know how she felt about him acting like that. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“I love it when you do that. When you look at me. You always make me feel as if I’m the only woman in the world.”

“Whenever we’re together… you are. You always have been. And sometimes you’re the only woman in my world even when you’re not around… You did this to me a long time ago, Lise…”

Oh, God. Why was he doing this to her?

The whole set of feelings she was experiencing was odd. It was a smooth concoction of lust, longing, nostalgia, pain and undiluted love. And lust, quite frankly, was the easiest to handle. The most noncommittal.

Almost out of her own volition, her hand slid down, coming to rest on her lower belly.

“I miss you…” Her voice became a whisper. “I miss your body. The way it feels against mine…”

“Girl…I can’t stop thinking about how good you feel… Just the thought of you makes me crazy…”

“What are you wearing? Tell me. My eyes are closed, I can almost see you…”

“I’m not wearing much… just a robe. I just took a shower, I told you…”

“Yeah… me too…” Her hand slid lower. “This fabric is nice, but as not good as your hands on me… or lips…”

She heard him moving on the bed. The bedsheets rustling.

“Are we really gonna do this? Do you want it, girl?”

His voice very low, very deep, very husky did something to her that could only be compared to an electrical shock. Yeah, she did want this. Well… they wanted something more, actually, but this would have to do.

“Unless you got something better in mind…”

“No… There’s nothing I got in mind right now but your smell… your taste… the feeling of your body closing in on mine…” Another long pause. “Where’s your hand, Lise?”

“Exactly where you want it to be… even though playing with myself is just a small consolation. Only you can do, baby… only you…”

“Shit…”

His breathing had become slightly uneven, and she knew that what she was doing was mirrored by his actions. There was nothing more than she needed, right then and there, to become one with him. Nothing.

Twenty-four hours later – The Threshold

The Threshold’s medical center was way, way better than Lisa had first seen it on paper. Bigger and definitely more equipped than initially planned. She knew she had a role in that – and Michael, too – but to see it with her own eyes felt different, especially since all the equipment had finally been delivered. She just wished she hadn’t missed that moment.

You wish you didn’t miss a lot of moments, don’t you? Just admit it and be done with it, ‘cause this is fucking exhausting. You’re back at being unable to stay away from him. And you feel stupid, because you only have these days to be together, to indulge in what you both crave, and you ended up wasting two of them by running away like a crazy chicken. But after all, those were your rules, right? Sex only, vacate the premises afterward and all that jazz. You made that bed and now you’re uncomfortable sleeping in it. Good riddance. Are you ever gonna learn?

Who knows, maybe one day she would. But for now, she was just glad to finally be back in Prague. Dana had seemed eager to leave Vienna as soon as they were done with their business meetings, and Lisa didn’t know if it was because she wanted to see her husband and resume taking care of the project personally or because she thought that Lisa had something going on with Michael. Maybe both. Dana wasn’t stupid. She had perceived Lisa’s desire to get away for a bit, but also her inner conflict, and she had to know it had something to do with her ex-husband.

However, what was done was done. Lisa could just move forward and try to make the best of what was left of her little trip to the Czech Republic… And the idea of seeing Michael again, in person, after engaging with him in torrid phone sex just the night before made her feel in some kind of way.

God… it had been so long since they had done that. Years. And yet they had found their rhythm immediately, and had said things to each other in the secrecy of the night that they would probably be unable to repeat during the day without blushing. And it had been all worth it.

Dana had driven Lisa back to the Nosticova Palace and then had gone home. And when Lisa had opened the door to her suite and dragged her trolley into the foyer, wanting so much to take a long shower and change her clothes before going back to the shelter for a couple of hours, the first thing she had noticed was the bouquet of red roses waiting for her in a crystal vase, on the entryway table. She had immediately let go of her suitcase, being drawn to those flowers almost in a daze. She had seen the card peeping through the roses and had picked up gently, opening it. Her hands felt cold.

It had taken her two seconds to recognize Michael’s unmistakable handwriting.

“A little bird told me that you’ll be back today. I want you to be welcomed by this amazing sight and tell you that talking to you last night was amazing, even though I still prefer to have you with me.

I can’t wait to see you again.

M.”

She had closed her eyes for a second, and the only thing she had heard was her own heartbeat hammering in her chest. This was just impossible to escape. The way this man could make her feel if only he wanted to. There was just something in the way they clicked, whenever they were together, that couldn’t be compared to anything she had experienced with any other man. It had all come back in waves to her – all the reasons why it was simply impossible not to love him, not to be in love with him. And why it was just stupid to pretend that what they shared could be reduced to sex.

And yet – it had to be done. After all, as flirtatious and sweet as Michael could be, he had never really expressed any clear intention to push things further. He seemed fine with what they had, and probably would be just as fine going back to his new life, new friends, new women once back to Los Angeles.

Lisa hated her own insecurities but had never been able to develop the proper strategies to get rid of them. All she was able to do was push them to the back of her mind – and so she had done just that. She had taken a shower and then had called a cab, and less than two hours later she was back to the Threshold.

Entering the huge open space in the main building, she had just taken a moment to say hello to a few acquaintances. She had also stopped to observe the massive Christmas tree at the center of the room. Those lights – blue, red, white, green – had moved her deep inside and she had been unable to fully understand why. Maybe it was just because something was amiss, and deep down she still felt lonely. Adrift.

“Hey.”

Jaroslav’s deep voice had almost made her jump out of her skin.

“Oh, hey. Is Dana here?” Lisa had hugged her friend and kissed his cheek.

“Yeah. She’s in the medical clinic…” He had tilted his head as he kept observing her. “…With Mike.”

Lisa had cleared her throat.

“Okay, well… I think I’ll just…”

“Lisa Marie, that man went nuts when you left, and stayed nuts and wired all the time that he was without you.”

Yeah. She knew exactly the feeling. She was totally fucked.

And now there she was, in the medical clinic – unseen, hiding in the small crowd observing two trained specialists explain to the staff all they could about Emergency Medicine and first aid. Dana was there too, of course, even though she already held a certificate of competence of emergency first aid at work. And Michael, well… He was at the opposite side of the room, in a corner, his back leaning against the wall, his scarf covering half of his face. Unseen, just like she was.

Lisa’s heartbeat accelerated again. God damn it. This was like experiencing her first crush all over again. Only, it was much more than a crush, and she knew it.

She stared at him for a moment, noticing how interested in the lesson he looked. It made her smile. Michael would regularly undergo first aid courses and was well trained to deal with major emergency situations such as giving CPR and so on. She had known that about him for years, and it had stuck with her, that a man in his position would feel the need to be actively able to help people in need, despite being surrounded by an entire team that was probably just as trained. But that was Michael, after all. If someone ever began choking on a grape or bled severely, he would definitely know what to do before the ambulance arrived.

Yet, to see him narrow his eyes as the medics explained procedures was endearing. It was simply impossible, for Lisa, not to be stricken by how amazing he was. For such a long time, she had almost forgotten – or had pretended to forget – all about the kind of man he was, underneath all the glitz and glamour. And certainly, underneath all their issues and well-cultivated grudges. But right then and there, it was simply not feasible. Lisa watched him and remembered how easily he could rise above everything that was ugly and despicable in the world, how he would simply refuse to bend the knee to the squalor that too often surrounded him, and how he would never, ever break down and become like too many of the people in his industry.

All of a sudden and pretty much out of the blue, Lisa also remembered the words she had once said to someone who had asked her what had made her fall in love with Michael to begin with. She had simply told them that it was because Mike was one of the nicest men she had ever met, pure and simple. And even after all this time, it was still true.

How much dirt had she and Michael thrown at each other, to the point that they had stopped seeing themselves for who they really were, both as individuals and to each other? Yes, she was far from perfect, but she had genuinely and wholeheartedly wanted to love him and protect him from everything and everyone who was out there to hurt him. How had she been able to pretend that person had never been her, when it was the most honest essence of who she was?

Quietly and making sure that nobody would notice her, Lisa began moving through the crowd and along the perimeter of the room, finally coming to stand right next to him. He saw her right away and smiled.

Rising on her tiptoes, she whispered in his ear.

“How could you see me? I’m the shortest person in this room.”

Michael pulled his scarf down so that she could see his mouth. He was still smiling and his eyes looked genuinely happy.

“I could smell you everywhere, Lise.” He moved his face, kissing her cheek. “Welcome back.”

Without a word, she reached out blindly and took his hand, entwining her fingers with his, leaning her body against his solid frame. Feeling safe and secure. Knowing that she was exactly where she was supposed to be all along.

One of the most fascinating things that Lisa had told him, a little after they had started dating, so many years earlier, was that she loved to make him sweaty. It was fortunate, because this woman right here had the ability to make him hot like nobody else in the world. If at first he had been a bit nervous about perspiring against her skin while they were making love, she had made sure that he knew that she found it extremely sexy.

“Mh… I made you all sweaty…”

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry… I love it…” She had kissed his chest. “Don’t get me wrong, usually I don’t like it when guys sweat all over me, but it’s different with you … Everything is…”

Right on cue, Lisa’s eyes opened and their sparkling light almost threatened to blind him. Her breathing uneven, her lips parted and red, she reached up and touched his sweaty chest. Her fingers traced the lines of his clavicles, then moved down and invisibly drew the contour of his pectorals. Down again, on his abdominal muscles. And lower still, until she rested her hand, palm flat, right above his pelvis. She moaned and her eyes rolled back for a second.

“Oh, God… I love to feel you move inside of me…”

Michael grunted and did his best to hold onto his self-control. Clearly, masturbating for her – with her – during their hot phone call, the previous night, hadn’t been enough to cool him off. Quite the opposite, in fact. If he didn’t pay attention, he now risked coming way before he planned to.

It wasn’t surprising that, after spending some time at the Threshold, he and Lisa had come back to the Nosticova Palace and had gone straight to her suite without even bothering to be subtle about it. Their phone sex session had done nothing but stoke the flames and rile them up even more, and he had missed her to the point of being unable to think about pretty much anything else but the moment he would see her again. Now that she was finally back, he almost felt as if he needed to make up for the two days they had spent apart.

When they had reached her bedroom, Lisa was already all over him. Taking off his sweater, unbuttoning his shirt and pants. And he was getting rid of her clothes faster than he would have imagined. The urgency had burned them from the inside, akin to a flame rising from the ashes like a phoenix, making him think that maybe those had never been ashes at all – just simmering embers buried underneath layers of dust.

Pulling his corduroy pants down unceremoniously, she had stared at him – looking almost high.

“Touch yourself, daddy… Please… I wanna watch…”

Hearing her call him that for the first time after so long had moved him deep inside, and had aroused him even more. He had always known that she got a kick watching him jerk off, but this was nuts. And he was totally fine with everything she wanted him to do for her – or to her.

He had reached down, holding himself, stroking himself slowly while biting his lip, trying very hard not to moan. He had to be in charge of this. The sight of his drop-dead gorgeous dream girl just standing there in front of him, wearing nothing but a lacy red thong, was better than anything he could dream of, or imagine. After a few seconds, Lisa had been unable to resist. Her cheeks flushed, she had stepped closer, one hand covering his, accompanying his movements on himself, her other hand in his hair, pulling his head down for a scorching kiss. And their kisses definitely shared a different quality tonight, he could tell.

Within minutes she had ended up onto her knees, taking him into her mouth, making him feel as if he would pass out. Managing to make him come, too, despite his intention to wait. That was her power.

He didn’t even know why, but he had been ready to start again just a few minutes later. It was crazy what this woman could do to him, to his body. He was a forty-one-year-old man and felt as if he was twenty-five every time he was with her.

Laying her down on the bed, he had reciprocated her treatment, touching her and kissing her everywhere, taking his time to just to get reacquainted with her body, allowing his senses to be engulfed, singed with the feeling of her. Kneeling down between her parted legs, he had made her climax with his mouth and his fingers once, twice, before finally telling her that he couldn’t wait any longer.

Lisa had pulled him closer and he had come to rest on top of her, the heat of her body scalding him. Just swaying against her heat without even entering her had felt heavenly, and he had hoped time could stop right then and there, wanting to be able to experience this perfect moment forever.

“Lise…”

“Mike… Please… put it in… I wanna feel you… I gotta have you inside…”

He had always loved how uninhibited she was in bed, because her lack of restraints would always reach out to him, turning him into the most honest part of who he was, the rawest version of himself. He had surged forward, entering her in one solid thrust, making her cry out, her torso arching.

He had stopped cold.

“Shit… Did I hurt you?”

“Yeah… You did… And please don’t stop… I’ve been waiting for this moment…”

Even thinking about how this night had started managed to make his head spin. Blinking, Michael slowed down his motions, keeping them deliberate and controlled.

“God damn it…” One more thrust, pushing her up the mattress. “I’ve been thinking about being inside of you all day…”

“For real?” Reaching down, she touched his testicles and he shivered.

“Yeah…” He panted. “For real.”

Once again, Lisa pulled his head down to her and they kissed. There was simply no way out of this. He was in love with her. How was he supposed to let her go again? The thoughts, the words stayed there. They didn’t come out. When they broke the kiss, they just kept staring at each other – and Michael hoped his silence would be enough.