Snowfall

– A Winter Story – Scene II – The Owl

They fell asleep almost immediately, each on their side of the bed. At first, Lisa turned onto her side and kept her back to him. Snuggled under the covers and feeling slightly cold, she observed the snow falling outside the French windows thinking that she would probably end up staying awake until dawn – simply because Michael couldn’t sleep. But she was wrong, and within minutes she heard his breathing deepen. His body almost felt heavier on the mattress, more relaxed. Then, without waking up, he turned and rested his hand on her waist. Typically, his entire body would adhere to hers and he would spoon her, because that was one of their favorite positions while in bed, but in this case, their bodies remained apart.

Yet the touch of his hand – partly on her t-shirt, partly on her naked skin – acted like a soothing balm to Lisa, and she felt her eyelids become heavier, her thoughts more unfocused, until the snowfall outside was all that was left. A padded little world that made her feel peaceful and calm after a very long time, and despite its tight confines.

She woke up a little later. She didn’t know how long – only that it must not have been too long. It was still night. The black New York sky outside was still studded with a cascade of velvety snowflakes, and it all came back to her with a violence that almost made her jump out of her skin. Where she was and who with – unexpectedly.

On the outside, nothing happened. She remained perfectly immobile.

However, all her senses felt heightened, amplified – including her position in the space. She noticed right away that either she had scooted back or Michael had scooted forward while they slept, and his chest was now adhering to her back.

Muscle memory. Conditioned response. It had only happened because that was what they had liked to do for a very long time.

His hand had shifted too – from her waist to the slope of her hip, resting there lovingly. Possessively. Blinking, feeling completely awake, Lisa acted on pure instinct, devoid of any rational layers and distant from any of the poisonous, external words that had filled her ears lately. She did what only her heart told her to do.

She reached down and covered his hand with her own. Michael reacted immediately, and their fingers intertwined. She swallowed and waited some more. She could tell that he had awakened from the way his breathing had changed – and from the way his body had tensed up a little… everywhere.

She was not equipped to fight this. She loved him way too much. She wasn’t even sure he would ever truly be able to understand how deeply her love for him ran, the extent to which it had changed everything she was and would be. Forever. He was it for her. That once-in-a-lifetime love. Their failure as a couple hurt her beyond belief, and her tough act when she wasn’t as emotionally vulnerable as she was at this moment was nothing but a charade, anyway.

For just an imperceptible second, she wondered if what she often accused Michael of doing was something she was also guilty of engaging in. She constantly nagged him about allowing other people to meddle in their marriage, about listening to them more than he listened to her, his wife. Had she done the same without even realizing it? Priscilla, Danny, the people from the church, folks from her family and team had not acted any differently. They had tried to pivot her in the direction they wanted, each in their own way. Each to their own extent. And she had let them.

The thought struck her like lightning, but having to elaborate on it meant accepting that she might not be as virtuous as she believed. She had way too much on her plate right now, and there was no space for anything as heavy as sudden epiphanies and regrets. And Michael’s body against her added to the list of stuff she couldn’t distract herself from. At least for the time being.

Quietly, she squeezed his hand a little tighter and heard him sigh. He didn’t say a word, as if waiting for her next move. Lisa felt paralyzed, and her eyes once again focused on the city outside, hoping to find an answer there. Somehow, somewhere.

And then something entirely unexpected happened. She saw a silhouette. White against white, but also against the darkness of the night. Something eerily silent and beyond beautiful was flying right in front of those big French windows – its wings wide open and almost immobile, making it look like a ghost floating through the air. Time stood still or, at the very least, slowed down considerably, and Lisa saw what she believed was a white owl. Her brain almost short-circuited, trying to make sense of what her eyes had intercepted.

Could an owl fly so high? Up to almost six hundred feet, to the point of becoming visible from the penthouse? Was she hallucinating? Had she fallen asleep again and she was now dreaming?

And then it stopped. The rationale just vanished and she felt like a little kid again. Full of stupor and wonder, amazed by apparently trivial things – that were never trivial, anyway. Faintly, she imagined that was how Michael probably felt at all times. That was how he saw the world – with his childlike nature that allowed him to be happy and stupefied by what most people considered unimportant.

Almost swimming in the air, the white owl flapped its wings just once and deviated its flight, immersing itself in the snowy sky. Becoming one with it and disappearing.

Lisa’s eyes welled up.

My God…

She had never been interested in owls before, but even she knew how profoundly intertwined they were with deep symbolism. Cosmic change, transformation, vision, growth – and deep connection with one’s higher self. And wisdom. Yeah. She was sure she remembered quite well what she had read somewhere years prior.

Maybe it’s a sign.

Or maybe not.

But it could be. If you want to take the chance. After all, everything might change anyway. You must understand that. And Michael, too.

It was the truth. And maybe it was the oneiric feeling of having seen such a rare and regal animal, at that very moment, that prompted her to move that last step toward what she knew would at least be temporary freedom.

Lisa turned in the bed and did it carefully, quietly. When she found herself face to face with Michael, she wasn’t even surprised to find him wide awake and looking back at her. His eyes were dark and gentle, yet mysterious like she would always remember them. She wondered if he, too, had seen the white owl, but couldn’t speak. She could not ask him such a simple question.

Instead, she reached out and touched his face – the palm of her hand resting on his cheek. Her skin enjoyed the scratchy sensation of his night stubble.

He blinked, then turned his head and kissed her palm. It was the only reaction she needed.

Without even thinking, she pulled him closer and kissed him, and he immediately responded to that intimate contact. She kept her eyes closed and sunk into the inebriating feeling of being this way with him once again, not knowing if this would be their last time. She only knew that she needed him more than any word could express, and that words were futile.

They kissed and kissed until they were both breathless, and quietly but with a definite urgency they removed the few items of clothing separating their bodies. His white t-shirt and pajama pants, her oversized sweater and shorts.

She reached down and touched him the very moment he did the same to her. When his hand found her center, she immediately covered it with her own, needing his touch – guiding it. Michael moaned in her mouth as they kept kissing deeply, and she was so relieved to feel him react to her caress. She held him and stroked him, and the way he strained in her hand reminded him that he truly was all she could ever hope for in a man. And not because of what he could do to her whenever they made love, which was beyond heavenly anyway, but because of the beauty and complexity that everything he was emanated.

She pushed him back onto the mattress when he tried to move and come on top of her. Needing to be in control as she felt in free fall, unable to get a hold of anything in her life. Including her marriage. All she wanted at the moment was to keep kissing him, have him inside, and feel him perspire and tremble against her. She needed to experience the loss and rebirth that loving him that way had always entailed and to have him lose control because of her, with her.

Transformation. Vision. Cosmic change.

And wisdom…

Finally managing to have him lie down on his back, Lisa straddled him, the sheets sliding down her skin, leaving her completely exposed before his eyes. The feeling of their naked bodies finally connecting, of his steel against her – it all forced her to swallow hard. Her lower body undulated as she kept her hands on his chest, feeling his breathing, his heartbeat. Faintly, almost distractedly, she marveled at how compliant this domineering male was – allowing her to do to him whatever she wanted. At least for tonight.

“Lisa… Are you sure…”

“Sssh… Don’t say anything, please…”

The urgency to feel him was almost unbearable, yet she didn’t want this to end too quickly. Her fingers sinking in his hair, she kissed his neck slowly, then moved down to his chest, her tongue following the lines of his solid pectorals. Finding his soul again through his body. His accelerated heartbeat and rapid breathing edged her own further, and her kisses descended. She felt his abdominal muscles contract and twitch under her lips and the scent of his skin almost made her lose her mind.

It was shocking how suddenly so aware of every single detail she was. Had she been too folded into herself to notice anything but her own feelings, lately? Had she lost herself so profoundly, to the point that Michael had almost become nothing but a shape in the fog?

Whatever had kept her disconnected from him was no longer. Her hands ran from his knees up his muscular thighs as her mouth descended on him. Then, closing her eyes, she allowed her other senses to explore him and love him that way. His hips jerked and he moaned, probably surprised by that sudden and intense contact, and then his fingers were in her hair, tousling it, at times gripping it as he followed her movements.

She loved going down on him. It made her feel powerful and everything about his reaction to it was beyond intoxicating. She knew she risked coming just by having him in her mouth.

“Wait… turn around…” He was breathless and his voice sounded husky, way deeper than usual. Affected. “…I wanna taste you… Come here…”

So much for being compliant and letting her take the lead! Lisa let go of him and looked up, smiling. Finding his eyes – full of love and lust, but also mischievous. So tender and familiar – and so beautiful.

“What happened? You were so obedient up until a minute ago…”

Michael bit his lip.

“Turn around, Princess…”

Despite still holding a bit of humor, his tone now hid an undercurrent she could no longer say no to. And she wouldn’t have said no to him anyway.

They lay down side by side, and she shattered within seconds when he buried his face between her legs. Never letting go of him, she came hard and felt everything. His hands on her thighs and bottom, his lips and his tongue inside her – his cock straining even more as he tried very hard to control himself and prolong their lovemaking into eternity.

No other man had ever made her feel that way, as if she lived inside and outside of her body at the same time. The intensity of her orgasm almost made her cry.

Michael’s mind was a blur. As Lisa rode him – her hair tousled and down her back, her perfect little breasts bouncing before his eyes, her skin covered by a thin layer of sweat that made her look coated in stardust – he couldn’t think about anything. He could only feel. His penis buried deep inside her tight body sent shock waves to his nerve endings with each thrust, and his heart was about to explode. Not because of the exertion, although they had been going at it for a while now – but because of the sudden barrage of feelings returning to him. Catching him by surprise but also making him aware that they had always been there, just hidden somewhere.

The last thing he would have imagined when he and Lisa finally had gone to bed was that they would have ended up making love. His mood was melancholic and somber, and she too seemed remote, distant. They both were obviously too defeated to try any sort of reconnection.

How wrong he had been.

He was already awake when she had gasped – almost imperceptibly – at the sight of that white owl flying right in front of their French windows. He had also seen it, and the sight had filled him with intense wonderment. He also had taken that impromptu apparition as some sign coming from only God knew where.

When Lisa had turned around and kissed him, he had been all in right away. He had realized that he wanted what was happening and would not do anything to stop her. He craved her body – and her heart. If only she could understand how much he had missed her and how hard it had been for him to pretend he didn’t, at times.

Tasting her after he couldn’t even remember how long had filled his soul with even more joy, if that was even possible. He would have never imagined that simply making love to her could unchain such a multitude of different emotions and sensations, most of which he had tried so hard to shut down lately. He vaguely remembered having told someone that he didn’t know if he could stay married to her any longer, at some point. That had been his level of helplessness and hopelessness. And right now, just moving with her, watching the pleasure painted on her gorgeous face, he felt so distant from that version of himself. How could he have thought about being away from her? He loved her!

Yet, alas, their love for one another had never been in question, even though Lisa didn’t believe his existed at all when things got really bad. Michael had thought that love was simply not enough to save them, which was such an incredibly ironic stance for someone who had always felt love was the answer to everything. The starting point, the path, and the endgame.

He saw it all so clearly now – like a veil had been pulled from his eyes.

Holding her by the hips, letting his hands travel all over her perfect body as she cradled him between her thighs, he felt as if he could suddenly see her again after being blind for too long.

Their eyes met and he saw her swallow hard, her skin flushed after experiencing wave after wave of pure pleasure. Michael reached up and touched her face, his finger tracing her jawline. Still undulating over him, not granting him an out, Lisa grabbed his hand and kissed it, then sucked his finger into her mouth.

He gritted his teeth.

“Girl… damn… You’re gonna make me come if you keep that up…”

She let go of his hand and her eyes smiled down at him.

“No, please… Don’t come just yet… God, Michael… You feel so good… So good…”

Yeah, she felt good too – all over.

Needing more leverage and wanting to take up the reins of this otherworldly experience that felt different from any other time they had made love, he sat up and found himself face-to-face with her. Their lips so very close, the details of her beautiful features blurred.

They kissed, and Lisa’s arms closed around his neck. Her hands were in his sweaty hair.

As they kept exploring each other’s mouth, he faintly recalled the last time they had made love, probably a little over a month prior. It had been raw and, in some instances, even primal. There had been so much anger in their intercourse at that time. Their passion had been permeated by bitterness, and sex had become the best tool to let it all out. He had taken her from behind, and she had loved his domineering attitude just as much as he had loved her complete lack of inhibitions.

At one point he had seen them both reflected in the glass door that led to the balcony. He was standing by the bed and Lisa was on it, on her hands and knees, taking the brunt of his passion and frustration. He had wrapped her hair in his hand and pulled at it slightly as he moved inside her hard and fast. They both were covered in sweat, their bodies seemed to sparkle and tingle in the darkness of the night. All he could hear were their moans and heavy panting. Their eyes had locked and Lisa had asked him to give it to her good – to hurt her. And he had done just that, until they had both exploded in a climax so violent that his voice had disappeared.

But this was entirely different. Their movements were steady and slow, and they were facing each other, drowning in each other eyes. And although Michael knew their orgasm would shatter them in thousands of pieces, he could tell that this lovemaking had a new quality to it. It almost felt like the first time.

Or the last one.

The thought was intolerable.

“Lise… look at me…”

He knew she had told him not to speak, but he couldn’t avoid this any longer. She did as instructed and looked startled for a moment, like a deer caught in the headlines, yet she didn’t avert her gaze. And what he saw in her eyes was the last push he needed.

“Mike…”

The hurricane mounted inside of him and he knew he would not be able to hold it back. He needed her to be with him in this.

“I’m gonna come hard, baby… Look at me… Oh, shit…”

“Oh, God… me too… me too…”

Every trace of apprehension disappeared from her voice – and her face – and she clung to his neck as he moved hard inside of her, feeling the fire spread from his chest to his belly, then down to his groin. There was simply no escape from this pleasure. Or this love.

He didn’t think about the fact that they had forgone protection. He didn’t pull out and knew she wouldn’t have let him anyway. He knew she loved to feel him that way, right until the end. He started to come and Lisa threw her head back and moaned loudly as her body took all he had to give and trembled, shook, becoming one with his.

Michael buried his face in her chest, kissing her breasts, loving the feeling of her nipples against his tongue as she, too, rode the waves of her pleasure, almost blinding him in the process. He mouthed out his love for her again and again, and his eyes burned when she felt her lips on the top of his head, kissing him lightly for a time that seemed endless.

The aftermath of their lovemaking was quiet, but once again in a new way compared to the past. Lately, the silence that often accompanied their post-orgasmic bliss wasn’t emotional bliss at all. Instead, it was awkwardness and that weird discomfort that came with the inability to speak freely. Both were afraid to say the wrong thing and finally shatter the fragile crystal ball they were trapped under. Or maybe, their silence also hid regrets and doubts.

Regardless, this was not at all what was happening tonight – or at least so Michael thought. In his mind, maybe he and Lisa were temporarily stranded in a magical place for real, as certainly nothing of what had happened in the past handful of hours had seemed possible only a couple of days ago.

He really, really wanted to hold her. He wanted to lay on his back and have her rest her head on his chest. He wanted to play with her hair and feel her breath against his skin. He wanted them both to fall asleep as they talked and laughed. Instead, they were lying on their sides, facing each other. Looking at each other. And a long time passed before they started to speak.

Lisa broke the ice first. Her gaze dropped for a second, then their eyes met again. Michael knew he probably would not like what she was about to say – he could tell from the way she was soldiering up – but was ready to listen anyway. Despite being a master at the silent treatment, the idea of them not communicating was horrifying to him now.

“I saw a lawyer, last week…”

His face remained calm.

“To divorce me?”

Her eyes shined. She seemed to be quite emotional as of late.

“To… consider all the pros and cons of my possible options very carefully and thoroughly…”

He would have laughed at her formal choice of words if the circumstances hadn’t been so potentially tragic.

“Which included divorcing me, I guess…”

Lisa lowered her gaze again. Was she blushing?

“Yeah…”

Well, he knew. His people had made sure that he found out before Lisa was out of the lawyer’s office. They had also taken the chance to venomously suggest he blindside her and act before she could even think about sending him any divorce papers.

“And… did you make up your mind after talking to him?”

“No…” She reached out, finding his hand under the bedsheets. “I thought I did for just a split second, but then… Then the idea of losing you almost took my breath away…”

He held her hand tighter as relief crept into his soul.

“Lisa… I know you saw a lawyer. I didn’t want to know. I wasn’t keeping tabs on you… but I found out anyway…”

She didn’t reply. She too knew the drill – how their “people” operated. So maybe it wasn’t a surprise that she hadn’t caught him off-guard, but a blessing. Knowing himself, Michael knew he would have reacted way differently had he been in the dark about the whole matter. Instead, he knew that, that day, Lisa had walked out of the building crying behind her sunglasses. And without any order to proceed.

Maybe before tonight he would have blamed her anyway, but the comforting calmness that always came with their lovemaking had changed his mindset. He understood her confusion because he felt the same way.

“It’s OK… I’m glad you already know.” She bit her lip and furrowed her brow. “Why didn’t you call me? Confront me?”

Michael shrugged.

“For the exact same reason I left for Europe with my friends. I wouldn’t have known how to stop you from leaving. I felt powerless and disoriented.”

It was God’s honest truth. For such a long time he had believed he could prevent and control pretty much everything in his life. But he had discovered that navigating a marriage was not as easy as he had initially thought. And that he certainly couldn’t always predict Lisa’s behavior. He could often envision her bulldozing all over the place in reaction to something, but lately she had become as erratic as he was.

“I understand…” Her voice was thin, almost weak. “…And you leaving… I know it’s my fault, too. I didn’t really give you any reason to stay. Any leeway.”

He smiled wearily. Then he pulled her close and kissed her forehead, and loved to feel her hands on his cheeks, her lips touching his for just a second.

He backed off, but not too much. He wanted to keep this connection unspoiled.

“Baby girl… why were you crying earlier, in the bathroom?”

“I wasn’t crying, I told you…” She tried to pull away and he held her. Nope, missy. No backing off now.

“Yes, you were. Just tell me the truth.”

Unlike before, Michael didn’t know what her answer would be or what to expect. But at this point, he was ready for everything. If a perfect moment for revelations existed, it was this one.

It took Lisa a while to finally find the courage to look at him again, and when she did, her eyes were teary. Again. He knew he had been right all along. She had been crying before, and she was crying now.

What the hell was going on?

“Lise, you can tell me anything… I won’t get mad and I won’t shut down, I promise…”

That headshake she gave him told him she was not sure she could believe him. And it reminded him that trust had ended up becoming another one of their issues.

“Michael, look… I don’t know if I can tell you anything, but I do know that I gotta tell you this.” She took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant. Or I think I might be, at least.”

OK. The bomb had been dropped, and Lisa was pretty sure Michael would need a moment to come around and fully understand what was happening. Knowing him, he surely had registered the first part of her confession, but maybe not the last.

Yeah, she had been crying alright, in that bathroom. And when she had found him at the door she had done her best to hide it from him, not feeling ready at all to share what she thought she had just discovered. But that was not the kind of secret she could ever think of not disclosing to him. Because if she was indeed pregnant, Michael was her baby’s daddy.

If she was indeed pregnant, she also knew it must have happened the last time they had made love before tonight. When he had fucked her brains out at Hidden Hills before their exhausting fights began once again and he fled to Europe with the Cascios. They had made love like crazy that night, with a passion that was filled with so many other emotions on both parts – Lisa knew that. And if that was the case – if she had indeed become pregnant that night – then surely the universe was laughing its ass off at them.

She and Michael had tried so hard to have a baby during the first year of their marriage, before a two-people relationship became a fucking harem full of strangers and parvenus meddling and speaking and deciding at their place. But, despite their best efforts – and certainly a lot of unprotected sex – it had simply never happened.

The sadness of seemingly being unable to give him what he desired the most, to make his biggest dream come true, had contributed to Lisa’s intense unhappiness, which eventually had morphed into frustration.

How funny would it be if those little swimmers had finally managed to do their thing with her egg, now that she and Michael were witnessing the sheer destruction of their marriage?

With such a barrage of thoughts running through her mind at record speed, she didn’t think she would be able to fall asleep – especially after Michael’s immediate reaction to the news.

At first, her words lingered in the atmosphere of the night, floating between the two of them like a soap bubble. In the past, their post-love mood had always been full of love and trust, nothing like this. This was unexplored territory, and possibly the worst scenario to deliver such life-changing news. Not that she had any choice. The possibility of carrying his baby had initially stunned her, and she had sworn to herself that she would keep the secret, at least for a while. She had told herself that this was something that concerned her and nobody else.

Of course, it was all bullshit. In the case she was indeed pregnant, Michael had the right to know – although Lisa had not been in any way willing to tell him tonight.

But he had insisted. He had been stubborn. And persuasive…

And why was she surprised, anyway? She knew he was that type of guy. Whenever he smelled blood, he would go after it and never relent until he found the answers he was looking for. Lisa had loved his determination for so long, until it had become exhausting – until she had become the target of it. And that was why, even now, she decided to let the grenade drop in his lap and see what he would do with it.

That’s not entirely what happened, though. Right?

Right. In reality, she had also told him the truth because he genuinely seemed worried about her, and they already had way too many issues to sort out to add another one to the list. Especially since mistrust had crept into their marriage and was now burning everything to the ground, she needed to be as transparent as possible with him.

When he finally spoke, his voice barely concealed a joyful amazement that Lisa hadn’t heard in a very long time. Some confusion and shock, too, but mainly wonder.

“You’re… we’re pregnant?”

We. That was when her heart cracked open, releasing a storm of butterflies and leaping in his direction. Still, trust didn’t magically reappear just because the man she loved said the right thing at the right time after having said so many wrong things at the worst possible time.

“Maybe. I mean, I could be pregnant. But I’m not entirely sure… and that’s why I didn’t wanna talk about it… for now.”

She could tell he was struggling to keep himself composed and controlled. She recognized what she saw in his eyes because she had seen it before. It was sheer, undiluted hope. The kind of hope that, if betrayed or disregarded, could crush a person.

“OK, but… what happened? Please, tell me…” He scooted closer to her, to the point that their foreheads were almost touching. “Lise, I gotta know what’s going on.”

Lisa took a deep breath. All of a sudden, staring into his dark eyes was no longer so difficult. All of a sudden, she felt heard.

“I didn’t feel well. When I landed in New York, I hadn’t felt like myself for days. But I also have been through some nasty shit lately, so… for a while I just wondered if all this stress was making me ill…”

Sadness. Regret. It was all there to see – in his eyes. Michael stayed quiet and allowed her to continue.

“I felt nauseous at times, and fatigued. But that’s not news. I tend to feel that way when I’m upset about stuff. However… a few days ago I noticed some light spotting. At first I thought my period was just being wacky… but then the cramps came.” She shrugged. “I’ve been pregnant before, and I recognize the early signs.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what? Like I said, I’m not even sure this isn’t all just in my head. On my way over here, I stopped at a pharmacy and bought a home pregnancy test… just because… Just to get the doubt out of my mind, you know… Although I’m aware some of the symptoms I’ve been experiencing can indicate that I’m pregnant, I didn’t think I could be. Because it never happened before, Mike… not even when we tried really hard…”

She felt his hand move under the covers, and then his fingers entwined with hers.

“So, anyway… the result came back dubious. It’s not a negative but also not a clear positive either… just a faint line. Which could mean so many things. I might be expecting… or it can be just an evaporation line…”

“What’s an evaporation line?”

“It means that what you’re seeing is just where your pee evaporated on the stick.”

“Oh… OK.”

“Or even worse, it might indicate an early pregnancy loss.”

She could barely say those words out loud. If that was what indeed had happened, she was not sure how she was supposed to react. In a way, given how shaky her marriage to Michael was, maybe it would be for the best. But on the other hand… carrying his child was something she wanted way more than he gave her credit for. Given the possible scenarios materializing in her mind, there was just no way in hell she could leave that bathroom without crying. Any option was terrifying in its own way to her.

“No, I’m sure that’s not what’s going on…”

She would have laughed at his stubborn, endearing silliness, hadn’t the situation been so damn complicated.

“Yeah? And, pray tell, how can you be sure?”

“I don’t know. I just am. I can feel it. And deep down, I know you do too. That’s why the first thing you said before sorta backing off was that you’re pregnant.” He framed her face with both hands. “So, I take it we’re gonna have a baby…”

“Michael, stop it. We don’t know if we’re going to have a baby or not. And even if we do, there’s still so much we gotta talk about anyway…”

“Yeah, you might be right about that. But you carrying our baby puts everything in perspective.” He kissed her hard. “You wanna talk? That’s alright. We will talk about whatever you want.”

“Not now. We would be talking about nothing, anyway… because we can’t be sure of anything, really. Why didn’t I buy more than one test? I’m so fucking stupid!”

“Hey – stop it. You’re not stupid. Just overwhelmed. We’ll find a way to make sure, OK? And you’ll see that I was right all along.”

“Look, right now all I wanna do is rest…” Despite her best efforts to keep herself at least slightly distant from him emotionally, she couldn’t help but reach up and stroke his cheek. His positivity was contagious – and dangerous. “You made me forget how fucking tired I am, at least for a while… but now it’s all coming back to me.”

“OK, but I need to know something first.”

Lisa sighed.

“Lay it on me, then.”

“If you were indeed pregnant, how would you feel about it?”

That was the last question she had been prepared to hear. For so long she had believed that having a baby was only important because of how it would make Michael feel. Instead, he wanted to know about her.

“Lise…?”

She swallowed hard and searched deep inside herself. How would she feel at the idea of having his baby? Almost immediately, her eyes began to burn again.

“Happy…”

“For real?”

“Yeah… I would be happy, if I carried our child.”

Michael smiled, and it was such a pure, genuine reaction that she almost threw every doubt away. Almost.

“Happy! Alright. You rest, now. Get some sleep. And we’ll talk more tomorrow, OK? If you want.”

She seriously doubted she would fall asleep. She was exhausted, yes, but also excited by his reaction – which had been beyond positive. And terrifyingly hope-inducing.

Yet, it happened. Lisa drifted off as Michael spooned from behind, his arm possessively across her torso, holding her against his body. She could swear he was whispering something in her ear at one point, but she couldn’t make out the words. It didn’t matter. His tone – gentle and loving – told her all she needed to know.