Snowfall

– A Winter Story – Scene III – The Grand Finale

Lisa didn’t know how long she slept. She repeatedly drifted in and out of consciousness during the night without being really able to wake up, as it usually happened when she and Michael made love. Her body would be exhausted and drained, while her heart and mind needed more time to spend with him. Sex with him had always been such a weird and transcendent experience, since the very first time they had slept together.

However, in those rare instances when sleep abandoned her for a few instants, all she noticed was that Michael was always wide awake – either in bed with her or someplace else. At one point, she thought she had heard him play the piano – again. And possibly speak to someone over the phone, although she had not been able to make out the words.

When she finally opened her eyes, it was around nine in the morning and the whiteness coming from outside almost blinded her. She shielded her eyes with her hand and groaned.

“Here… let me pull the curtains a bit…”

She heard Michael leave the bed for just a moment, and a second later the bedroom was immersed in a much dimmer – and more pleasurable – light. And then he was under the covers again, holding her from behind. Her fetal position fit perfectly into his lean yet muscular frame. If a part of Lisa wanted to pull away from him, it must have packed and left during the night as she immediately snuggled closer to him, loving how warm and vibrant he felt. And adoring his little thoughtful gesture. As simple as it was, Michael taking care of the curtains reminded her of a time she believed to be long gone.

“Good morning, gorgeous. You feel better?”

“I think so. But I’m hungry.”

“And grumpy. OK… I’ll make you breakfast in a second. But first… look at this, please…” His hand appeared before her face, holding her home pregnancy test.

She scrunched her forehead.

“The fuck? Did you go looking for that in the waste basket?”

“Of course! I wanted to see.”

Lisa rolled her eyes. He had already lost his mind. It was so very hard not to be swept away by his enthusiasm, yet she remained calm. If she wasn’t pregnant, he would soon drop the little thoughtful act and they would be immersed in a pile of horse shit once again.

Give him some credit. Don’t act like he’s just a child thinking he’s going to get his most prized and long-delayed Christmas present. Don’t pretend he doesn’t care about you. Maybe he’s not as shallow as you think…

No, she had never believed Michael to be shallow. That was just her bitterness speaking at her place. But she also knew that his determination whenever he wanted to achieve something could make him blind and deaf to everything and everyone else.

“OK. Now you saw it.”

“I sure did! I’ve been observing this little thing for hours, and that line doesn’t look all that faint to me, Lise…” He kissed her cheek. “Remember when I told you that I would be right?”

“Yeah, well… You can’t be sure. Mike – please… this is already getting out of hand. And to be honest, I don’t want to see your hopes crash and burn if we find out I’m not pregnant.”

Lisa turned and looked at him. She really looked at him, knowing he had to face the music. And she, too.

His eyes softened.

“You just don’t get it, do you?”

“What do you mean? What am I not getting?”

He blinked.

“Come on. Get up. We’ll have breakfast, and then we gotta leave. We got stuff to do today.”

He jumped off the bed and took her hand, forcing her to get up. Which she did, because she knew there was just no way to contain him at this point.

“Stuff to do? And no, Mike. I’m not going anywhere today. There’s a fucking blizzard out there and I don’t feel like freezing my butt in the snow.”

“I know, but we just gotta reach the pharmacy at the corner and get two or three more of these sticks.” He showed her the pregnancy test. “So we can be sure, you know…”

Lisa just sighed. She didn’t know what to do with him. Was she supposed to let this lunacy run its course until the other shoe dropped and she and Michael would be reminded of the many things that weren’t working in their marriage?

“Or… yeah, you know what? Maybe you’re right. Maybe I can do this on my own. You stay here, stay warm and rest some more, and I’ll go to the pharmacy. It’ll just take a minute.”

She was caught by immediate anxiety – one of the last feelings she wanted to experience in this situation, and especially before coffee.

“What? No way you’re going to leave without your team! You wouldn’t even be able to orient yourself out there… What if you get lost? And what if someone recognizes you?”

He looked as if he hadn’t even considered that possibility. That was how caught up in his train of thoughts and hopes he was. He shrugged nonchalantly.

“Nah, I don’t think that’s gonna happen… but if it does, I’ll find a way to deal with it.”

“How?!? They’re gonna swarm you before you can even blink!”

He didn’t seem concerned at all.

“I don’t know. I’ll think about something.”

“Oh my God,” Lisa whispered, rubbing her forehead. She shook her head, defeated. “There’s no way you’re gonna let this go, right?”

“Not a chance. And you shouldn’t either. And why should we even think about letting this go, anyway?”

To pretend that maybe they could avoid the umpteenth run on the roller-coaster that their life together was? To act as if nothing important was going on and throw in the towel before something else happened and they would both end up even more beaten to a pulp than they already were? If there was something that terrified Lisa more than pain, it was failed expectations. Especially when Michael was involved.

“Lise… This is our chance. Our life. I ain’t gonna stay here sitting on my ass while I have you here with me, having just made love to you the way I made love to you, and with the possibility of a baby on its way. What’s wrong with it?”

“How? How did you make love to me?”

“You know how. You did the same to me.”

Yeah. They had made love like… like they loved each other. Because they did. And maybe he was right – it was all that mattered.

They stared at each other. His words had been so simple – yet they detonated inside of her like a blast. But not in a bad way. Not hugging him and covering his face with kisses was the hardest thing she had to do at the moment.

“You know what? You’re right. There’s nothing wrong with you. All right… Let me get dressed, then. We’ll eat something, and then we’ll go to the damn pharmacy. Together.”

If he gave her another one of those killer smiles, he would probably manage to have her love him forever, regardless of the outcome of this. But who was she kidding? It had already happened.

Michael had seriously thought he and Lisa would be able to reach the corner of the street in about two minutes. Three maximum. Unfortunately, he hadn’t considered how much a large quantity of snow could slow people down.

The white blanket that had covered Manhattan during the previous night, that immaculate mantel that looked so neat from the penthouse, was much worse once observed up-close and personal. In fact, the snow was everywhere and almost reached his knees, and he wondered if the city wouldn’t be paralyzed for a few hours. As effective as New York could be, this was not something that could be dealt with in a minute. And that was probably why the streets were way emptier than usual.

Michael took Lisa’s hand as they slowly walked together toward the pharmacy, buried in their heavy clothes, their breathing coming out in puffs as snowflakes kept falling on them, unstoppable. Seeing how bad it was down there, he wished she would have just waited for him in the penthouse. Yet, at the same time, he wanted her to be with him as they did this. This was something he wanted to experience with her, every second of it. It paled in comparison to his deal with Debbie, and it was something entirely new for him. He could only navigate it as he went along.

How strange it was, how everything could change in just a handful of hours…

Michael’s night had been pretty much sleepless, but he wasn’t tired at all. The news of Lisa’s possible pregnancy had shocked him awake and made him forget how much he needed to rest. Her words and revelations also had acted like a balm for his emotional wounds, and the complacent fatigue he had carried with him everywhere as of late had simply disappeared.

As Lisa slept, he had gone through the night with the clarity of mind and sheer determination of a captain caught in a storm. Finally, he was at the ship’s wheel and felt the harbor was close. He just had to look for the lighthouse.

He had just reflected for a long time at first. He had allowed his thoughts to freely flood his mind and stopped doing what he had done since he and Lisa had fallen headfirst in their marital crisis. Instead, he had let himself feel all his feelings for her without boundaries, refusing to shut anything off. And his love for her had almost choked him with its intensity.

Yes, he knew that she might very well not be pregnant. But what Lisa didn’t understand – and what he, too, had just discovered – was that it didn’t matter if she was not. The possibility alone had brought immense joy to him and, even more than that, the happiness she had confessed she would feel in the case that faint line was not a false positive. That had been the detail that made all the difference in the world in Michael’s mind.

That realization – that illuminating epiphany – had come naturally as he played the piano, around three in the morning. The truth had hit him with the force of a hurricane, almost knocking him off his feet. She would be happy if she carried their baby. If he knew her well, and he believed he did, that was in fact an understatement. She would probably be as ecstatic as he was.

It was all that mattered. Hope had finally found a way to bloom and flourish in a place where he and Lisa had believed there was nothing but barren ground. How wrong they had been! At times, a single opportunity was all two people needed to find their way back to each other.

“Come on, Lise… There it is.” He pointed at the pharmacy. “And it’s empty.”

“Yeah, no shit… I wonder why…” Lisa panted in return, and he giggled. He loved how tight she was squeezing his hand because he knew it was not about being afraid to fall in the snow. Of course, she would need some time to warm up, but she was getting there.

“Well, good for us. We will just zoom in and out and…”

“Mike…”

She pulled at his sleeve and he turned, facing her. She looked vulnerable – and very small. And… possibly a bit scared.

“What?”

“I don’t think I can do this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I wanna do it, but I don’t think I can. I’m…”

Yeah. He knew.

“…scared. I know, baby. It’s OK.” He pulled her into his arms and held her. “I’ll take care of it.”

“What if they recognize you?”

He smiled.

“Did you see how bundled up I am? Nobody is going to recognize me.” He pulled back and framed her face with both his gloved hands. Her eyes sparkling, her cheeks reddened by the cold, she had never looked more beautiful to him. “Just wait for me here. I’ll be out in a minute.”

Lisa waited, just like Michael had asked her to do. She stood on the snow-covered sidewalk, her weight shifting from one foot to the other and her arms crossed over her chest, hoping he would reappear soon. Not only because she was freezing her ass off, but also because she didn’t like the fact that he was in there all alone, without his security detail. Every tragic scenario materialized in her mind in the span of a second. A robbery, a group of manic fans he could not disentangle himself from, a sudden national shortage of home pregnancy tests.

Instead, nothing happened. Nothing except Michael quickly walking out of the pharmacy about two minutes later, holding a little shopping bag. He seemed in a hurry and grabbed her hand quickly, pulling her with him back to the Trump Tower.

“Come on, run!”

“What happened?”

“I think they recognized me!”

Lisa looked over her shoulder. Two people were standing at the entrance of the pharmacy, pointing at Michael and talking to each other.

“God damn it!” Lisa started to run, pulling Michael with her. “Move your ass, man! Or they’re gonna get us!”

Michael just quickened his pace and she heard him laugh – his voice muffled by the huge scarf he was wearing. She felt like smiling – and, despite the mild concern that someone might hunt them down, she also felt quite free. If someone had indeed recognized him, she doubted they would be willing to run and slip and fall face-first on the fresh snow just because they thought they had bumped into the biggest star on the planet.

“Lise, slow down! You also keep tripping in those shoes that are way too big for you!”

“Hey! You said they know who you are, so let’s go!”

“I said I think they might have recognized me, but I’m not sure!”

“Well, they probably have. Let’s not test them!”

At this point they were jogging side by side – and they were both laughing. She didn’t know why, but to be able to be silly with him again after so long was so liberating. Maybe going out in this weather had been worth it after all.

Still chuckling and holding hands, they sneaked into the private access to the Tower and found the elevator doors open and waiting for them. Michael dragged Lisa inside and pushed the button to their floor.

Once the doors closed and the elevator started its ascend, he pushed her against the wall and kissed her hard. Lisa’s hands immediately pushed his beanie off his head and got rid of his scarf, just to touch more of his skin. His face felt cold and stubbly and his eyes sparkled. He was smiling – and his breathing was slightly uneven. How gorgeous he looked.

“We made it!”

“We did…” She touched his cheeks. “So, how many tests did you get?”

“They only had three, so I bought two. I didn’t wanna be greedy. Will they be enough?”

She kissed him quickly. At this point, any resistance was futile. And why should she resist him, anyway? His light was blinding. It was the ultimate seduction. It was all she had ever needed and all she had ever looked for. The outcome of this time together almost stopped being of any importance, and just being with him like this again became all that mattered – even if it was bound to end somehow.

“Yeah… I think so, yeah…”

Then, time seemed to slow down the moment they entered the penthouse again. If Lisa had imagined Michael would make her drink an entire bottle of water just so she could pee on those two pregnancy sticks right away, she had been wrong.

Well, he did pull her to the bathroom, but for an entirely different reason.

“Mike, slow down. I don’t have to pee right now. Gimme a minute here, will you?”

He just looked at her as if she had lost her mind and scoffed.

“Lisa, I don’t want you to pee on command. You’re not a dog. Come on, get out of them moon boots before you stumble on the carpet.”

Eyeing him suspiciously, she sat on the stool near the bathtub and began to untie her shoelaces.

“They’re not too big, by the way. They’re just meant to be worn with some thick sockets.”

“Well… You were dancing in them down there…” He knelt down in front of her and lovingly removed her boots – and socks. “And you look like a gnome in them.”

Then he stood up again and got the water running in the shower stall.

“What are you doing?”

“You’re freezing. And I’m too. What about we warm up a bit? We’re not in a hurry…” He held out his hand to her. “We got all the time in the world.”

Standing behind Lisa, he held her by the waist for a moment and then let his hands travel up her torso, until he cupped her perfect breasts, holding them in his palms. Man, she felt so good. Whether she believed it or not, those beautiful little boobs already felt softer, fuller.

All the while, he moved inside her body with slow, measured strokes, trying as best as he could to keep his breathing steady and calm. And focusing on her sighs and moans as her head fell forward, as she reached back and tangled her fingers in his wet hair.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had made love to her while in the shower, but knew all the reasons why they loved it so much. The steam, the warm water jet – their bodies hot and slippery, the scent of her skin reminding him that she was his home, and that secluded space at their disposal, amplifying every sensation tenfold. Michael had always thought that making love like that meant being transported to another universe, at least for a little while.

But this was even better. This version of New York was another universe, and inside of it was their penthouse and, on a smaller scale, the shower stall. Universe within universe within universe. How could they feel anything but safe?

If this was nothing but a dream, he was not sure he wanted to wake up.

Lisa straightened her stance and his chest adhered to her slippery back. The change in angle made him see stars and he knew he would not be able to hold his pleasure at bay for much longer. Feeling her come again and again all around him had been like a shock to his system, the electrical undercurrent of her passion running from her to him, and then back to her. They were exploding together. They were about to become a nebula, a star cluster. They would be eternal.

She began to move her perfectly round ass against him, increasing the friction, needing to feel him deeper, asking him to give it to her harder, and he was lost. There were no more barriers between them – they were one.

The grip of her fingers in his hair tightened, her body began to tremble and he reached down, his fingers against her center, guiding her toward another climax and knowing he would be pulled along for the ride.

Any second now…

Right before it happened, Lisa turned her head and their eyes met. Her breath against his lips inebriated him and they kissed, and he loved how she bit down on his bottom lip. Hard enough for him to be turned on like hell, but not hard enough to hurt him.

“Oh, God… It’s too much. I’m gonna come again…”

Yeah… He could tell.

“Let it go, baby… I love it when you come all over me… Shit…” The pressure of his fingers against her warm flesh intensified and she shattered in his arms, convulsing. Yet her eyes never left him. And when he too realized that he couldn’t hold it any longer, those aqua irises were all he saw. They were all that existed.

“Mike… please, baby… let me feel you. I love you… I love you so much…”

His heart about exploded and the eruption came, violently.

“I love you too… I do… Fuck, here it is… I’m coming….”

Her body spasmed with his, and it seemed to him that their pleasure went on forever. Then, almost distractedly, he realized that they once again had not cared about using a condom and regretted all the times he had chosen to believe Lisa wasn’t getting pregnant because she would take birth control pills behind his back. Eventually, he had found out that it wasn’t true. That it was a lie, a rumor that someone had made sure reached his ear. A mere supposition had morphed into a fact – just to poison him. While the truth was that, when she was on the pill, she had always told him – and that during their marriage, she had genuinely not been able to become pregnant.

Until now. Maybe. Hopefully.

And if she wasn’t pregnant yet, maybe she would be after this. And if she wouldn’t, all would be OK anyway. Michael had finally found all the answers he had been looking for, and all he wanted was to have her with him, to try again. To save this love that was like nothing he had ever experienced before.

He withdrew from her slowly, glancing down and noticing the evidence of their passion. Loving how she immediately turned and took him into her arms, her face resting against his chest, kissing his wet skin.

“I didn’t think I would ever hear you say it again, you know…”

That lazy, Southern drawl was something intimate and private that would usually emerge in such special moments. He smiled and kissed her forehead.

“What, that I love you?”

Lisa sighed.

“Yeah.”

“But I do. I have always loved you.” He tipped her chin up and kissed her lips, lingering there for a moment. “Please don’t ever forget that. Even when it would be tempting to do so.”

She gave him one of her crooked smirks.

“I didn’t make it easy either, I know…” Her forehead rested against his chest. “…But I love you too. So much. With all my heart, Mike. Regardless of what happens next.”

“Lisa…” With great difficulty, Michael pulled back so that he could see her face. He needed to understand what was going through her mind even if she decided that no other word would leave her mouth. After all, she hadn’t been talkative at all since she had told him about the pregnancy test. “Look at me, please.”

Their eyes met.

“Lise… Would you really want this baby? Other than being happy like you said you would be… if the test is indeed positive… will you be OK with having my baby?”

He had expected her to tear up again, but instead this time her face remained calm and serene.

“Yes. Yes, I would. Mike… I’ve always wanted to have a family with you. But I also want us to be solid. I want what we used to have. What, deep down, I believe we can still have.”

“I get that now, I do. I want it too.”

“I don’t wanna be afraid. And at times… I feel scared. Your bullheadedness scares the living shit out of me because I can’t keep pace with you. And I can’t understand you. It’s like you don’t see anything but what you want. And you don’t care about the consequences.” Her eyes turned sad. “I don’t think a marriage should be like that.”

“No, it shouldn’t be. You’re right. And the point is… I’m new to this. I thought I had it all figured out, but… I’m still learning. And I fuck up. But, Lise… you’re still my North light. My guiding star.”

“I don’t need you to be romantic right now. I need you to be honest. What if I’m not pregnant? Please, just tell me the truth.”

The truth. How often he had buried it in silence in the past months.

“The truth is that I love you, regardless of what that pregnancy test says. And regardless of how crazy you drive me. It was true before, and it’s still true now.”

She sniffled and shook her head.

“Does that mean that you’ll move on with your… plan? If I’m not pregnant.”

Oh, he knew what she was talking about. Lisa didn’t like to mention Debbie by name, and he knew that pulling his nurse into his marriage had been an absolute mistake. The one that had pushed him this close to losing Lisa forever. So he had to be very clear – and mindful of how carefully he treaded this.

“I called Debbie last night. I told her that our deal is off.”

Lisa’s eyes widened in surprise.

“What?”

“What happened here, with you, was like a slap in the face for me. It forced me to reconsider all my choices and decisions. To watch everything from a different perspective. Your behavior… your missteps… but mine too. Mostly mine, which I hadn’t looked at much, I admit it.”

He raked his fingers through his drenched hair, loving how padded the atmosphere in the shower stall felt. Just the warm water running in the background and their voices. Nothing else. He and Lisa were finally safe. They had stopped running. They had started arriving.

“I don’t wanna do it anymore. It was wrong. I should have let things happen naturally with the woman I’m in love with… The woman who loves me. Who wants me for me. I should have let God do his thing.”

“Michael… Are you sure this is what you really want? I don’t want you to resent me if the test is negative. I know you want to be a dad… and don’t get me wrong, you deserve it so much. I do believe you’ll be the best father in the world… So that was never an issue for me. It’s how unrelenting you can be that confuses me… That terrifies me. Because I don’t understand it.”

Michael swallowed. Should he tell her? Should he tell her what he had been holding inside for such a long time? If this had to be their new beginning, perhaps he had to move that final step in the right direction.

“For such a long time, I believed my life would never be complete without children on my own. And, don’t get me wrong… it’s still true.”

“What changed, then? Because nothing has happened, Mike. Not yet, at least. And we don’t even know if it will.”

“I realized that this is not a one-man show. That’s what changed. With Debbie…” He shook his head. “It was all there for the taking. We just had to sign the papers. The idea of finally becoming a father thrilled me beyond belief, I’m not gonna lie… and yet… It’s in no way comparable to what I felt last night, when you told me that we might be pregnant. The opportunity alone changed everything… every single thing for me, Lise.”

She looked at him, and it seemed to him that she saw something new in her eyes. Something she had never spotted before. Was it… relief?

“I realized that I don’t just want to have children… I want to have our children. That is what would make me the happiest. To have and raise our kids, together. Because I love you for you. And you love me. You’re my wife, my best friend, my lover… And to hear you say that you’d be happy to…”

“Ecstatic, actually… I should have said ecstatic.”

He smiled, and she did too.

“…Ecstatic to have our baby… it multiplied my happiness. It doubled it. That was what made everything finally clear. It’s a level of happiness, of completeness, that deserves patience. My patience. My time. My commitment. Because you deserve it… we both do. And if we manage to do this… if we put faith in our love once again… then all will be fine. All will be perfect. Every step we take from now on will be the right step… even when we stumble.”

It was too much for her, he could tell. Because he finally understood exactly how she felt, and even his own doubts and fears and anxiety had abandoned him. They hadn’t just hidden somewhere. They were gone. He was free.

And when she threw herself in his arms and held him as if her life – their lives – depended on it, an immense sense of peace washed over him. Even when she started sobbing, finally letting go of all the tension she had bottled up until that point, that sense of immense peace stayed.

It would never go away. That peace that completeness would remain with him, with them, for decades. Sheltering them, protecting them. Healing them.

Michael held Lisa close.

“It’s gonna be a beautiful new year.”

The end.